Something when I was a kid

I was watching this video earlier and remembered my experiences from my neighbor.


It started when I was 6, our family has a store. I was often guarding it. There's this 50 year old man who always buy cigarettes. What I don't like was he always grab my hand and caress it. So from that time on I just throw what he bought on the counter. Actually I thought he stopped. But a year after, when I thought I could act normally with him, he started grabbing my hand again but this time it will be awhile before he let go. And yes I started throwing his things again. It doesn't end there though. Everytime I go outside and see him, he always stare at me until I weren't on his sight anymore. I can feel him staring at me ALWAYS. he's so creepy. And sometimes when I passed by his house, he'll stare at me and call my name. One time, I was 11 and it's the night before Christmas. It's a tradition here to go house to house and sing christmas songs and given candies or money by the owner. I was reluctant to go to his house but I am guarding my little cousins. He's still the same, stares at me but this time he told them, that if I go infront he'll give me a hundred. I refused. Until this day, he still creeps me out. I don't want to look at him and avoid him at all cost. Although sometimes he still stares.

And there's also a very nice brother of him that I'm comfortable with. He would always ask me about my studies and the likes. One night, my mom told me to go to my aunt's house to get something. The road was very narrow because their group was drinking alcohol there. My aunt reminded me to be careful. I thought that time that they wouldn't touch me bc I'm just a 10 year old kid. But I can't believe that he will grope my butt. I actually cried that night secretly, I felt betrayed and humiliated. I was undergoing body development at that time and taught in school about body awareness.

I never told this to anyone even my mom bc I don't trust anybody. I feel like this will be a stain in my life if it gets out. Things will only become bigger but no resolution.