One of the things that hit me from time to time when I visit NUF, are huge waves of nostalgia... Times where I just feel like going through a bunch of old threads that marked me in some way and start reading them again, seeing how they developed and how much things changed since then.
Those are interesting experiences I guess. Sometimes I look at how I said things in the past and am like... "Huh? I used to talk like that, didn't I? I just don't say this kind of thing anymore nowadays..." other times I just started reading through things and miss old times that are long bygone and wish I could go back to them... Or maybe do something different when I had the chance.
... It's kinda weird to think of it now, I used to be so active here and I have so many deep memories in this forum that it kinda amazes even me. Like... I have for a long time called myself a NUF addict, I was deep into the site, into the community and cared far more about the people I got to know here than I cared for most people I got to know IRL.
Right now though? Well... I still care for those people in the same way tbh, but everything else is... Different I guess. I don't feel so much of a need to stalk threads and trying to know things, or to reply to everything that is directed towards me... I dunno, I feel like just passing by things and being a semi-lurker I guess, just living going through alerts and seeing what people pinged me at.
I wonder when it changed, maybe I just forced myself to change to spend less time online, I have no way of telling it tbh. I just know I'd usually reply to everyone that posts in my blogs, but last time I made one, I figured I'd just like most comments (even if they were really nice and I appreciated getting them) and move on.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to make more friends while behaving like this though, which is honestly a sad thought. One of the nice parts about being super active is finding new people and getting closer to them... When you restrict yourself to alerts though, you don't really notice the existence of anyone else aside from your own close group... It's a bit of a weird feeling. As if you're living in a bubble.
Like... It's been 3 or 4 months since I left NUF I think? There should be at least one new prominent new member that joined and became quite active since then. Yet I didn't see them and am totally unaware of their existence. And while my degree of closeness with the more active members of course varies wildly, I'm pretty sure I have at least gotten to know and talk a few times with pretty much everyone that is active here. (well, save from the people that only frequent LCDs and Community Creations I guess, since I never touched those subforums)
I'm not sure where I wanted to go with this post, I guess I just wanted to acknowledge I changed my own way of handling the forum and my interaction with other people... Honestly not sure, I didn't have a clear idea in my head when I started typing, a good part of what came out was something I understood as I wrote it.
... I wonder what will happen moving forward, I still feel like I should go and update some of the game threads I'm in charge of, or catch up to a few threads I was active in in the past, but... Time is limited, and I have a lot of stuff to do, so I guess I'll pass on those for now... Maybe I'll go back to them later, who knows?
More than anything, I'm feeling nostalgic right now, I kinda wish to go back to 2016 and live those moments again. When I still had the time to properly dedicate myself to them, but I guess that's impossible... I'll live on anyways, I guess I'll keep on staying in the alert only mode for the foreseeable future.
... Ah, and I ought to say, it feels nice to be back, even if just for using the blog function again. Having a place to put all those thoughts into paper is really welcome~
And of course, seeing everyone again. Or at least the people that are still active and follow me~
That's all I had for this blog post anyways, buh-bye~
The Past, The Present and The Future
Author
AliceShiki
『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』, Female
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