The wonder of having a helping hand

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1. Playful Devil Miki995 Jul 22, 2018

   @Vemmy The smile can be a double-edged sword though. It may get tiring for you one day. You should just try to be yourself no matter what people think. Otherwise, you will be overwhelmed if you try to accomodate every people's thoughts since everyone thinks differently. *Hugs tightly*

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2. Vemmy Jul 22, 2018

   One of my best friends betrayed me a few times in the past, I was really really upset each time. We are still friends now, on the surface at least. I have not made another friend like this since, probably also because I became a lot more introverted and careful with people. It'd take some major clash of interest for the friends I have now to betray me, probably. I think I was lucky to have been betrayed so badly as a child rather than an adult though, the severity of it is nowhere near what it could be now but the lesson could still be learnt.
   
   I think things like how to evaluate people more clearly, be able to tell when someone's just trying to use you, etc. can be learnt most effectively through experience. Also taught me to fake smile convincingly and act courteous with people regardless of how I actually feel ^^;

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3. Playful Devil Miki995 Jul 21, 2018

   Well for my case, karma was a bi*ch for that ‘BFF’. Those ‘usual’ friends of mine discovered how fake she was after quite sometimes. They then apologized to me for alienating me while stopping to continue socializing with ‘BFF’ xD yup~ I also help when I want to and not due to them wanting usually. I hadn’t really got betrayed too much. But some minor betrayals still exists. Well~ for now ^^
4. Tramsloof Jul 21, 2018

   Oh I don't mind people betraying me now, I have grown numb to it.
   
   It really helps when you keep your intentions clear. That way, no matter how it goes in the end, you profit from it mentally.
   
   I help people because I want to. That's my intention. Not because they want it, not because they need it but because I want to. And I think, they don't owe me for it. Rather, I am more on guard against them given my experience.
   
   Hence, no matter how it goes, even if I am fooled by a fraud, I count my intentions. And off course, learning from experience is a must, you should still be cautious that you don't become callous. That is what usually happens.
   
   Good guys who get fooled too much become cold and callous guys. You need to avoid that.
   
   And people that would judge you based on merry gossip weren't worth being called friends in the first place. In my opinion, it was your profit that they turned from you that time, rather than inspiring the same wretched values in you.

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5. Playful Devil Miki995 Jul 21, 2018

   @Tramsloof That's what humans are though. Some of us are greedy creatures that think the world should revolve around them. I am not a person that thinks I should help everyone in need. It depends on situations and circumstances.
   
   I'm really sorry to hear about your friend backstabbing you. I was also backstabbed in high school (Not as bad as yours, but my 'BFF' talked sh*t about me behind me back while seemingly liking my companion, alienating me from my usual friends since they believed my 'BFFs' facts.). Sigh~ I wonder why people feel that it is alright to backstab people without feeling guilty or doing things that might make them feel guilty. *Hugs Trams* Life will always goes on xD We just need to try and learn from our mistakes, but not block out the entire world from us. We all have imperfections so we sometimes need companions that will hopefully not betray us. ^^ (In my opinion)

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6. Tramsloof Jul 21, 2018

   Help people whenever you are able. That means, when it's safe and smart to help, and where it is justified. Helping someone bullying isn't justified.
   
   Consequences of helping for me include two things, both of which bother me. One is excessive gratitude. That makes me uncomfortable and I would start avoiding that person. Two is that person imposing on you for more favours. Doing the favours isn't the issue, it's when the requests change into demands, as if you are the one owing them something.
   
   Off course there are risks in helping people. The foremost of which is fraud. People just love ripping off the nice guys. Then, there are the backstabbing ones, they would change sides and sell you out to resolve their own trouble. My classmate came to me saying some seniors would be coming to hit him, that they were bullying him. Two seniors dropped by our class, I thought, this is easy. Two people, I can do with one person easily in a moment and my class mate can at least occupy the other one for that time.
   
   Well, I look back and he's long gone. I was used as a meat shield to block those guys.
   
   Third is the risk of security. Where you must value caution more than your good helping nature. Don't give lifts on a dark street. Don't harbour wanted criminals. And on and on.
   
   Also, don't fret when people reject your help. It doesn't have to do with you, but themselves. They are afraid to recieve help, too prideful to really make it easy for themselves. (I am one of the foolish ones)

   Bad Storm and Playful Devil Miki995 like this.
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