Trauma

Author

Nyann

Nyartist, Female
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A single road lies before me. As I face to cross it, I first look at my right. A motorcycle is zooming in my direction from far away.

I cross the road and stand still in the middle. From the other half, rows of cars and motorcycles were advancing from the left side. I stand in the middle of the road stiffly. And then... I see two motorcycles over taking the cars and auto rickshaws and riding fast towards me. I panic.

Subconsciously I know that there was another motorcycle coming from the other side, but I feel that I will make it back. I step backwards and see the motorcycle an inch away from me. I don't even get time to feel horror. It hits me!



It hits my right leg, but my shoe takes the damage as it gets off my leg when the wheel rides on it.

"What the hell are you doing!?" The guy riding the bike says, there is another guy on the back.

I look at him in a daze... I look around for my shoe and slip it on, saying nothing.

"Are you okay?" Says he. I nod my head at him. I was completely okay, my leg only hurt a tiny bit because of the twist that happened when my shoe got off.

I stare blankly at my friend and then smile at her, "Yeah I am okay". And then as I look at the road again, it's as if the fear registered... I cry...

She holds me and I wrap my hand around her tightly. Even though I felt no physical pain at all, it somehow hurt me a lot. "I could have died there!" I say while crying. I thought how my parents wouldn't have let me study there anymore if I got major injuries. And the worst part is I still hadn't crossed the road... I can't again. My friend holds me tight and we cross the road together. Me hanging onto her.

There was a stall making and selling sugarcane juice just near our college gate as we crossed the road. She offers me a glass and says comforting words...

I feel safe, I feel cared after... I feel like... I can't cross the road by myself anymore... On my way back I panicked several times and took another route to go back home. I crossed the road when others did. Almost sticking close to them.

At home, in my thoughts, in my dreams... I had flashes of cars hitting me, riding across my body, blowing me to pieces... Each time I flinched as I thought of a vehicle hitting me...

I feel shaken... Traumatized... I hope it goes away soon... And I wish I didn't have to cross the road in the first place...

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RaiLi, yuzuki, Lurking and 2 others like this.

Comments

    1. Lurking Nov 10, 2019
      Im on team 'tempted to jump in front of automated vehicles' so I cant really help you

      Sounds worse than a snowstorm tho, I hope you recover somehow.
    2. Kiss Nov 9, 2019
      ...I can understand Nyann-chan~
      [huggles you]
    3. Cutter Masterson Nov 9, 2019
      Most people I’ve known with trauma. Never truly get over it. If anything it tends to expand and even than that’s not everything. Trauma is very complex issue. The victim wants to get better, but it usually takes a lot of time and small steps. While on the flip side. Anything that has a connection with the trauma will be influenced. Such as seeing a motorcycle or even thinking about seeing a motorcycle. Can cause the person to withdraw.
      I wish I could hold the world away. So you can feel safe again, but all I can do is have a shoulder you can cry on. Whenever you need it.
      @Nyann I know you may feel alone and that nobody understands the struggle your going through. While that maybe true. Please also realize that we are still here. Listening. Be brave we’re by your side.
      Lurking likes this.
    4. An Anime Addict Nov 9, 2019
      *hugs nyan*
      Its okay. Dont fear it. Time can erase anything and everything so just give yourself some time:blob_patpat:
    5. SpearOfLies Nov 9, 2019
      *hugs*
    6. SummerForest Nov 9, 2019
      *hugs*
      It will take some time to go away. Meanwhile, try to cross the road from a place where the zebra crossing is there, even if it means to take a little bit of detour. It's never a good habit to cross a busy road from a place where there is no signal for the pedestrians.
      If you really have to cross a road from a place without the zebra crossing, you should never try to cross it alone.
      Don't worry, it will be alright. I had some similar experiences when I first came to this big city for studies. Over time, it will pass.
    7. Evil_Ginger Nov 9, 2019
      :blob_teary::blobsneeze:

      I dont know what to say. I hope you feel better, but trauma is hard to get rid of. I wish you luck.
      Lurking likes this.
    8. Effugium Nov 9, 2019
      This is why i refuse to cross the road when there are many motorcycle. They are very unpredictable, might suddenly show up from behind a car or sth
      9. Page 1 of 2
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