wedding

Author

FIEND

i eat crayons, Female
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Ladies and Gents of Nuf,
We as in the DarkPlagueSocietySect cordially invite you to celebrate the wedding of @Beren and @Clumsy Soul
The story is of star crossed lovers, and honestly I already wasted my breath inviting you to this wedding so ask a friend how they met. Without Further ado!!


Transportation- THE "MOTACYCURU" (say it slowly with the unholy accent)

My dear nuf guests, as VIP members you are entitled to ride our precious ride which we have booked out 3 years in advanced when the couple were just in dating stage. That's how high of a demand this vehicle has. The Motacycuru costs only $3.4 billion dollars for just one ride is for you Bhad and Bhouji Nu guests , the VIP +++++++. Have no fear, this vehicle comes with Guaranteed Air conditioned (open to air ), Fast and Furious (.2 miles/hr, prob faster if you walk but like only peasants walk) , High Gasoline Intake ( gas fare included in additional fees and tips) , Bullet proofed (as the great pope once said, even the most religious figure heads ride these chariots as god doesn't want us back ever) , Works on Voice Command (call for it with your thumb out on the side of a highway) . Uber fast. Music brought to you by the driver's horse vocals to penetrate the awkward silence of having your thigh felt up by the complete NU stranger guest next to you

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For those who are broker than your local bridge troll, and struggling to make ends meet in these dark treacherous times of covid, as The TIny Meat Gang once put it "Take a Walk"
. JKJKJKJKJKJK HAVE NOFEAR , we have @lighterxx insta teleportation system literally to his forehead. All you need to do is tag him and either gently slap or kiss the teleportation portal and you will insta come out of the real Hoshi himself at the wedding reception area. First come first serve. Disclaimer: Each teleportation tern may or may not be using hoshis literal life span for utility

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Reception area:


very original very gorgeous almost anime like reception area is brought to you and payed for by yourstrulygoogle. The picture may need a magnifying glass due to our incompetent photographer @LAOG but do not fear, that is exactly the banquet hall where you will be feasting like pigs I mean good guest members on the free food!!

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Catering:

Speaking of food and banquet halls, Here we have taken a snap of the most mouth watering, unrealistically healthy home cooked ecoli/cholera/corona free food brought to u by @no preservatives allowed herself from her own pocket money. Pls thank us on the way out and leave a review on yelp. Once again please blame @LAOG for the shitty photography. Never hiring that man again. (I personally think he is better at climbing down chimneys into unsus lil children's houses)
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Band:
aint no wedding without the most angeric voices on nuf: super hot fire and crew. They reached top billboard 100s, rap better than drake, reach higher notes than Ariana grande -its gunna get Shitty i mean litty
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Dancer:
It aint a real party without strippers *AHEM* I mean dancers, you know the ones that do the pretty twirl??? Anyways MVP @Papercut and his ex harem have promised to show off their excellent dancing skills in the after party, stay tuned


Entrance Wedding Song:


Priest: obvi me, yo MVP, yo numba one bruh, yo soldia boy, you best girl @FIEND

shameless ad : as a priest and holyheathen of god himself, i do weddings , charities, funerals, military parades, crusades and jihads. pls contact me at fiend for more information about yourfriendlyneighborhoodplaguesect TM


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Guests:

NU users. aint a wedding w out the champs, the true heart and soul of NUF the ones that totally did NOT come just for the food. Totally not. Special invites to yo friend, make sure to tag them so i shall add them to the VIP guest list below


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Expected wedding crashers- extended chaotic fam of soul.
(They requested not to be photographed) NoT that the sect gives a shit about your privacy so we shall rat you out before you even get to the security: @Chuki Yuuki @Lady Scarlett Dawn @Needyneedle @Ambulance @no preservatives allowed @Raidou99 @Nancy2303 @Shirayuki.. @Soosoo @blues86 @Coffea to Ell @Chu2 @nyamachi @I Ship anything cute @Ahlya @SmallRockintheSand @sheng @pass1478 @hayyan@Lonelycity

Brides Maids
:Best ones you could ever have. Daring, unique and innocent.The type that would totally not sabotage the bride by "accidentally" spilling wine on her best day. Would want them on my own wedding day ngl.
ft. @Msmarl, @Chilling Mist @Ginko Biloba @amilhs
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GroomsMen:
Unfortunately we have discovered a little too late that our groom is a friendless fagget, so we actually bought some paid actors to play the part of grooms men. ..er please ignore them for the most part thank you- Management
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Flower Kids:
OHMAHGOD arent these little turds so adorable. There are some unsavory rumors goinga round NUF communities saying these little babies are actually full grown 30 something year old virgins mascarading as 6 year olds. DO NOT pay attention to those rumors, we assure you they are nothing but slader!!! But on this beautiful day they shall spread joy and love along the wedding lanes.

Figure A: @Stopitgetaway @CuberAzrael l @HazyPrecise @Raidou99
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Ring Bearer: :
@Arbelbyss, aint no bttr man to carry the rings at a wedding than a man with more misunderstandings than a isekai protagonist


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Maid Of Honor:
@ViburnumDraco As a great man once said, always get the most jealous bitch out of your friends group who might try to steal yo man as your maid of honor. That is the highest honor one can do for a friend *sheds more tears of happiness*

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Best Man:
now we may have mentioned that the groom is a friendless fagget, but last minute someone attested that they were actually his best friend who went wayy way back. They often cuddled at night and told each other stories. If you do not believe us, please check out @c.decora


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Otousan who will walk her to the alter-
@Archaic pickle
*sheds tears*
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AND FINALLY THE COUPLE THEMSELVES AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL??
(Please oogle at this cute couple - wedding pictures will be sent separately to everyone who asks)
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As per customary traditions pls gift one nu for the bride and groom and say one niceish thing for their lovely journey into the afterlife, I mean newly wed life ofc. Words of advice or congratulations baby names less atrocious than its daddy berens name are much appreciated.

( Barren Soul is a really nice name . just how cute would be an infertile soul less little shit that takes after the worst of both of its parents would be. ohmahgod im already tearing up)

PRIEST: "ALL NOT IN FAVOR OF THIS WEDDING PLEASE SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER DIE IN SOME SHALLOW GRAVE"

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Comments

    1. FIEND Dec 17, 2020
      @redanxela hol up ill invite u one second and put u on the VIPPPPPPPPP/++++++++ GUEST LIST im so sorry habibi
    2. redanxela Dec 17, 2020
      I'll crash this wedding:blobangery::blob_thor: and burn it to the ground!! How come I didn't get invited?

      Oh and did I miss the wedding date or @FIEND is just that awful.
    3. c.decora Dec 16, 2020
      Just noticed there wasn't a cake picture...
    4. Clumsy Soul Dec 15, 2020
      Why are you putting it everywhere??? justabotwork
      Ddraig, Msmarl and Jevanka926 like this.