I saw this guy yesterday. Just a young man, standing at the edge of the sidewalk right at the end of the pedestrian crossing. It was a short glimpse, I was riding on my way home and like any other day, I watched the world from beyond the fogged car window. But in that instantaneous bit of time, he caught my eye.
He was standing there, navy colored school blazer shielding his arm from the merciless sun. The plain white shirt peeking from beneath his blazers gave a pleasing contrast against his tanned skin and dark blazer. But amidst a crowd impatiently waiting for the lights to change colors, the young man looked desolate. There was a dullness in his bespectacled face. Something the round-rimmed glasses failed to hide.
I guess that’s what caught my attention, the feeling of utter loneliness despite surrounding yourself with a crowd of people, whether they are strangers, friends or family does not matter. You feel alone all the same.
“You feel alone all the same,” his eyes tell me when our gazes met.
“That’s not true,” I replied.
It is not.
At least that is what I tell myself. Repeatedly. That way I could convince myself into believing that if i surround myself with enough people, I could drive away this loathsome sadness. Try and try until you succeed, right?
Ha! Yeah, right.
The lights finally turned yellow, getting ready to shift to green. My short moment with this stranger is about to end. But I cannot help but wonder, “what made you so sorrowful that you cannot hide it anymore from curious eyes?” I’ll never get an answer, I know that, but maybe, just maybe, I’ll find out a truth that was just hiding right before my eyes.
As the lights turned green, I directed my eyes in front, no longer thinking about the sad young man in the pedestrian crossing. That’s when it happened. A scream rang out, unnaturally echoing loudly in the vast open space. I turned my head subconsciously to the direction of the horrified scream and a scene got etched into my mind.
The young man jumped right in front of a speeding car, intention clear as crystal: To die. And the next moment, there he was, lying flat on the scorching asphalt, navy colored blazer now covered in blood. My ride accelerated forward, unperturbed, but unlike the calm revving of the car engine, my heart beats furiously at the image of the bloodied skid marks left on the road.
[M5.19]
Yesterday's Fiasco
Author
Bad Storm
no thought, head empty
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