Spoiler My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister

Discussion in 'Spoilers' started by HC, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. HC

    HC I eat, read, die

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    I really want spoilers for this novel. But please put them under spoiler tab, for those who are tempted but don't want to really spil the whole drama yet. Thanks!
     
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  2. Spoiler Curator

    Spoiler Curator Hi , Click Edit and Edit My Posts

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    My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Illya (Best Girl)
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    Crow (Best Boy)
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    Al/Alfred
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    Marianne
    [​IMG]

    Soleil (MC's scum fiancee)
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    Slyvia (MC's scum sister)
    [​IMG]
    Characters' faces source - https://forum.novelupdates.com/posts/4562090/

    ***DISCLAIMER: the novel is ONGOING aka NOT COMPLETE as of 1/2/22 and after 37 pages of spoilers and discussion. The translations are up-to-date BUT it's not known whether the author is going to continue the story or not...so prepare for an unresolved ending***

    Illya, the FL, who doesn’t see herself as the protagonist of her own life, has been living through countless time loops, throughout which she never gains any kind of happiness or peace. It always begins at that tea party, the tea party where her fiance, Soleil, meets her beautiful, fragile, and (according to Illya) the heroine of their world younger sister, Sylvia. Throughout all the time loops, not all things remained the same, a previous foe became her best friend in one life and at one time Soleil made the bare minimum effort in their relationship and Illya in every life tried different things to end up away from her fiance and family because no matter what the unchanging constant in all timelines was Soleil tender love for her younger sister.

    Illya got engaged and fell in love with Soleil at the age of 5. Due to the vast class difference (Soleil being of a much higher class), Illya despite working extremely hard is riddled with anxiety and an inferiority complex of not being worthy enough for Soleil so she plays the stereotypical "villainess" chastising any lady who she felt threatened by. But when she realizes that the fiance who looked at her with eyes devoid of any warmth, looked at her younger sister with such a loving gaze, she gets enraged due to jealousy and yells out at Sylvia about using her sickness to take everybody’s love from her. Soleil gets angry at her and complains to her parents. After being treated like a disappointment, Illya puts up with everything quietly.She still gets married to Soleil because she is his wife material but he neglects her and often leaves her alone and spends time with Sylvia at her maternal home. Everybody knows about this but nobody stops him. One day news arrive that Sylvia was attacked by bandits and died. Soleil loses his mind over Sylvia’s death and in anger accuses Illya of her murder. Upon hearing the news of Sylvia’s death, Illya unconsciously smiles slightly in relief. She fixes her expression when she realizes what she did but Soleil already noticed the slight change in her expression and is convinced she did it. Illya is thrown in prison and abandoned by her family. Despite there being no proof, Soleil keeps searching for it and I guess fabricates some while Illya keeps faith that he will save her.Soleil’s friend meets her and cries and tells her to stop waiting for him but her faith stays on and Illya dies in prison alone, waiting for Soleil.

    Illya wakes up back at that first meeting tea party. She realizes what has happened and controls her anger and sense of betrayal so that she doesn’t get into trouble again. She tries her best in this life and hopes she can do better since she knows the future but events keep changing to bring Soleil and Sylvia closer. She just lets it happen because she didn’t want Soleil to get mad at her because she knew it wouldn’t make a difference. It would just make him hate her more. She once again marries Soleil. She uses her smarts to move up in society but she comes off as cold and calculating. She sends out guards to catch the bandits who killed Sylvia in her last life and realizes the bandits being there was a coincidence and not a premeditated plan.So somebody must have used the chance to pin the blame on her to get rid of her. She saves Sylvia and hopes their future will now change for the better. But soon, news comes that Sylvia is in a critical condition. Soleil panics and rushes to meet her and Illya says she wants to go to but he stops her. When she tries to follow after him, the butler blocks her way, just like their last life. It dons on her that the letter was sent to Soleil and not her, even though it is her sister who is ill and that it didn’t seem like it was the first time this happened. She realizes her parents would never commit such a breach of etiquette which meant it was Sylvia exchanging such personal letters with him. She tries to leave but faints. When she awakens, the doctor tells her she is pregnant. The news that was supposed to be the start of their new,happy future came at the worst possible time. She refuses to tell Soleil when the doctor tells her to inform him so he can accompany her because she knew when she insisted on going to meet Sylvia with him, he looked at her like he doesn’t want her to interrupt their time together. She later tells him and he smiles at the news but doesn’t look the least bit happy. He informs her Sylvia’s condition has worsened and she wants to meet her. Illya goes and neither her mother nor Sylvia notices her belly or congratulates her about her pregnancy. Sylvia selfishly cries and asks Illya for forgiveness saying she is in love with Soleil and that she doesn’t want to die alone. Illya doesn’t say anything and leaves. Soleil rages at Illya asking what she said to Sylvia that made her cry.Illya says she said nothing but Soleil doesn’t believe and says because she is so cold-hearted she must have done/said something. He then goes on to accuse her of infidelity and doubts the father of the baby. Illya faints and the doctor then tells her that she pregnancy could be dangerous to her health. Illya refuses and plans to go through with the birth to prove the baby is Soleil’s. Soleil never visits Illya. Illya finds some comfort in the support of her childhood knight, Al. Al has seen all she has been through and jokes about running away together. She refuses. She kept him as her support while trying to maintain a certain distance from him because the last life he was also accused of Sylvia’s murder to fill in any holes in the accusation against her. She finally gives birth to a son but dies before even seeing and holding him.She dies alone, while Soleil is away comforting Sylvia, and even without Al who at some point was reassigned.

    Illya once again wakes at the tea party but now is freaking out about her child. She cries and yells looking for her baby. Shouting at Soleil for abandoning and accusing Sylvia of taking her baby away. Soleil tells her that she is not yet married and has no baby. She faints upon hearing that and Al carries her away from the tea party which Soleil and Sylvia continue enjoying. She apologizes for the ruckus she caused and plays the part of a normal noble lady. But at night time, she is still plagued by the memories of her baby and cradles any imaginary baby. One night while doing the same, a talking blackbird comes and visits her. It enters her room and introduces itself as ‘Crow’, the harbinger of doom (FYI blackbirds are not common or known birds in this world). Crow asks her why is she, a princess,locked up in such a room. Illya does not understand the question and states that she is aware that there are bars on the windows and says that there is nothing wrong with the room. Crow is intrigued by her and offers to help her. She asks him to protect her younger sister. Crow asks why considering she is her love rival. Illya says that when they were younger, Illya was almost hit by a horse but Sylvia saved her by covering her with her fragile body. So Illya vowed to always protect her. So Crow promises and starts to always watch over Illya. Soleil continues to meet Sylvia at their home while never even looking for Illya even though both sisters are in the same house. Like in all timelines they use the excuse of him just visiting his sister-in-law to cover their tracks. Al is frustrated by this and asks Illya why she puts up with this.Illya says as nobles, an arranged, loveless marriage is expected and tells him the reason her father put the bars on her room windows is not out of concern that she’ll jump and try to kill herself but out of fear that she’ll try to jump and run away. Illya notices that despite the people around being the same there are slight changes in personalities and that they seem a little different in each life. But what remains the same, unfortunately, for her is her love for Soleil. She dislikes she still harbors such unrequited and unappreciated feelings but she cannot suddenly change it because, by the time she recovers her memories/returns back in time, she has already been in love with Soleil for years so even though she knows he’ll never choose her, she still loves him. She gets married to him and builds better connections.Her life was comparatively peaceful, until one day Soleil comes with Sylvia and tells her that Sylvia is pregnant with his child and that he loves her (Sylvia). Illya breaks upon hearing the news and is crying in her room when Crow visits her and asks her what happened. She tells him everything. About the time loops and what happened in her three lives. She hopes he believes her and comforts her. But Crow instead tells her that it seems like she’s in a living hell and asks her if sinners go to hell, what sort of terrible sin did she commit to be punished in this way, and if she was the only one suffering. Illya mentally breaks and agrees that this is her retribution for wishing for her own happiness and being relieved when Sylvia died in her first life.Imagining Sylvia being able to love her child while Illya wasn’t able to even see or hold her own baby, Illya hangs herself in her room.

    From here on on the lives are numbered in order but it is not exactly chronological of the time loops, Illya has lived countless lives but till now the story has mentioned about seven, at different times. So it may be numbered as fourth or sixth life below but they could in fact be her 50th or 100th life.

    Illya runs away with her knight, Al. Al in a previous life pledges his undying allegiance to Illya, even when she tells him to protect Sylvia, he tells her no matter how far apart they are, he is hers. So she believes herself to be his world and accepts his hand to run away together. But they are pursued by her fiance’s secret guards and Al is killed. She is broken and falls apart further when she is met by Al’s fiancee. His fiancee tells her they were waiting for things to calm down with Illya before they got married and says he is pitiful for pledging his loyalty to her and losing his life because of her. Illya feels guilty towards the fiancee and realizes that while Al knew everything about her, she in turn knew nothing about him and never bothered to find out.She remembers nothing about how she continued living except that society didn’t look kindly upon her who eloped and Soleil now barely concealed his contempt and disappointment in her. She continues living in a blurred daze.

    Illya realized in her past runaway attempt that the reason they searched for her so hard even though nobody really cared for her was that they had invested too much in her. She was groomed as Soleil’s fiancee and they had no replacement when she ran away. So she began subtly teaching Sylvia her future duties. She knew from her past life that Sylvia can become pregnant so the basic requirement to become a nobleman’s wife was possible. Therefore if she had the knowledge, they wouldn’t need Illya anymore. Illya began to spend more time Sylvia and Sylvia brightened up and became more lively spending time and learning from Illya. She felt like she was alive again. Illya understood that everybody expected nothing from Sylvia other than to live.Illya began to receive the appreciation and attention she always wanted from her parents and Soleil but that was only for cherishing Sylvia. After making Sylvia worthy of Soleil politically, Illya ran away. Alone, this time. Illya took the help of a merchant her father trusted while running away but was betrayed. All her possessions were stolen and she was captured by a slave trader. Illya was then sold into prostitution and as she predicted, nobody tried to find her. Over the years, she fell sick, and then finally, she met Crow. She was weak and barely able to move or speak when he started coming in the form of a young child and would bring her drugs for her illness. As she neared death, Al, who was still looking for her, found her and rescued her. She didn’t want to leave and wanted to stay there with Crow. In his comfort, next to him,but since the beginning of when she met him in this life, she could not acknowledge it was him because he never introduced himself to her. And so Al took her to Soleil’s house in hopes that she would be surrounded by family and love during her last hours. She was surrounded by family, but it was Soleil and Sylvia’s happy family with their children and the love around her was a love excluding her and love for her for running away, leading them to be able to get together. Soleil tells her he hated her for leaving him. He knew that because she was smart she would have realized that he didn’t love her but he expected them to live and harmonious life together nonetheless but she destroyed that by running away with her lover, as guessed by Sylvia. Illya understood how they interpreted what happened,she had mentioned to Sylvia that she was in love with a man (she obviously meant Soleil, but because she ran away they presumed she was cheating). Illya realized that no matter what Soleil did in her previous lives, in this one he was faithful to her. This is the only life he and the rest of them have lived, which is why when she ran away, he hated her, and even though he knew how hard it would be for her, a noble lady, to live on the streets, he purposely left her there to reap what she sowed. He then says he is still thankful to her as because she ran away he got together with Sylvia. Illya died surrounded by the love of her life and his beloved family but she just wanted the comfort in the cold hands of Crow. She died missing him.

    This is Soleil’s POV in Illya’s first life. Soleil talks to Illya and seems frustrated by her responses and gloominess. He tells her (I think or maybe he just thinks it) that her eyes are dull and her hair is like an old lady’s. His every sigh and reaction hits Illya sharply and pushes her closer into her shell while she just smiles and says she is fine with a face that looks like she would crumble at any moment and Soleil does not notice nor care, just grows more annoyed by her. Or so we think. Soleil does think and do all of this but he also seems to disagree with whatever he himself says/thinks and fights internally with himself and is confused about who is really thinking all these mean things. He doesn’t really dislike her hair or eyes. He found them uniquely beautiful.They weren’t normal shades, her eyes were green with a hint of amber whereas her hair was a rare shade of dark grey, they were shades that belonged only to Illya. Similarly, he knew Illya was hurt by him and he wanted to apologize, correct himself, and support her but the concerned side of him never won out. Instead, he would seem more tired and annoyed by her. They were meeting for their regularly scheduled tea party. When they reached the spot in the garden, they met Sylvia and Soleil realized Illya only arranged for two chairs at the table and had no intention of staying back herself. Soleil wants to stop her and make her stay but he is unable to move or say anything, as she goes further away from him. Soleil is pulled back to the party by Sylvia’s presence and accompanies her.Even though in his mind he knew he wasn’t and wonders why he smiles and looks happy being with Sylvia. Sylvia calls him brother but as always he tells her that it is too soon and asks her to call him by his name. They talk about her health, how it would be good to interact with other people and go on walks so she can find a reason to live. Sylvia asks him if he would be her reason to live and he agrees. He is happy he can be by her side as her “brother”. He feels sick and argues internally that this is not right and that he is Illya’s fiance. But he still smiles happily.Sylvia asks him if he would be her reason to live and he agrees. He is happy he can be by her side as her “brother”. He feels sick and argues internally that this is not right and that he is Illya’s fiance. But he still smiles happily.Sylvia asks him if he would be her reason to live and he agrees. He is happy he can be by her side as her “brother”. He feels sick and argues internally that this is not right and that he is Illya’s fiance. But he still smiles happily.

    During their academy days, Soleil’s friend persistently smack talks Illya while praising Sylvia’s rumored beauty and kind heart. He accuses Illya of not being of her right mind because she is always fighting with other noble ladies over her position as his fiancee and compares her to Sylvia. Soleil is angry because he knows Illya is not that way but instead just smirks as if agreeing with them. Soleil’s friend constantly pits the two sisters against each other in front of their friends, who also join in on praising Sylvia, who they have never met. He doesn’t tell them he has met Sylvia because he wants to keep her to himself. He gifts her dresses and everybody calls him a good brother and Soleil agrees but deep down he knows they are doubting their relations.He does nothing to change his behavior and when Illya thanks him for treating her sister well, he knows she is insecure and doubts them too, he, instead of comforting her like he knows he should, gets annoyed by her and is curt towards her. He realizes Sylvia is the type of woman he likes, the type that needs to be protected and is fragile and beautiful but Illya is the woman best suited for him because his wife has to be able to stand on her own and not be completely dependent on him. Finally, they get married. Out on an expedition, his friend gives Illya a back-handed compliment and then, as usual, begins to praise Sylvia in a loud voice for everybody around them to notice. Soleil wants to write Illya a letter talking about seeing a field of the flowers she likes,and his experience but uncontrollably writes a dry and businesslike letter asking about the affairs of the house. He sends the letter eager to go home to see her and say the words he couldn’t write but he was still hesitant to see her because he knew she was in pain. Later in the night he unconsciously thinks of Sylvia, and despite hearing a voice not to, he writes a beautiful letter to her while pressing a beautiful flower in it for her, which he realizes is something he never did for his newly-married wife waiting for him at home. He appreciates Illya’s hard work and sincerity towards him and all she does and hopes they could be comrades and partners together. He believed that until he heard that Sylvia died. Upon hearing of Sylvia’s death he loses his mind and accuses Illya of murder. When he sees the subconscious smile on Illya’s face,he is convinced and attacks her. His butler stops him but he is mad. He is unsure if he was angry because he tried to kill her or because he didn’t kill her. He arrests her and starts preparing to divorce her. He separates her from everybody so that nobody can help her and fights to put her in a commoner's prison which is dirtier compared to the ones for nobles. He internally knows Illya would not do such a thing. She wasn’t close to her sister but she never hated her. He yells at himself over what he is doing but still goes sleepless finding proof against her when his friend comes to him. The same friend who always disliked Illya came to him, crying. Telling him to stop this for both Soleil and Illya’s sake, and that she is waiting for him to save her and that this will turn him into a murderer.Soleil is confused why he changed his mind about Illya but continues on. A year passes but no judgment was passed. He knew she would still be imprisoned but didn’t care anymore. He became lethargic and disinterested in anything when he heard the rumors. Rumors about a prostitute who looked just like Sylvia. She looked vastly different but the silver hair and purple eyes were the same. He was on top of her, imaging Sylvia who he could never touch when she screamed in fear. Over him, with a sword against him, stood a man with familiar blonde hair. This man’s previous warmth as he always hovered around Illya, protecting her, turned into cold eyes with a cruel laugh as he asked Soleil if he wondered how he was still alive. Al after being imprisoned for assisting Illya in killing Sylvia was rescued from prison by his comrades.Al disgusted by Soleil asked him if he knew how hard Illya worked for him, how much she sacrificed. How to be worthy of him she studied till she vomited and vomited to the point her throat burned. How much she loved him. That she deserved to live happily as Soleil’s wife but instead died alone, pitifully in that prison. When he heard Illya died, not knowing why and despising himself for it, Soleil began laughing like she got what she deserved. Al then killed Soleil and threw a handful of Illya’s hair at him. Soleil as he died realized he never told her he liked her hair and that he was the one who killed Illya. Screaming for it to stop, Soleil woke up in his room. He realized it was a nightmare. He could not remember what it was but he was left with the feeling of missing Illya and wanting to see her.

    This is the timeline where Soleil experiences the nightmare of their first life. He sends a letter saying he plans to visit Illya the same day and for Sylvia to join as well. Despite it being rude to send a letter the day of and they have full rights to deny him permission, they cannot do so due to the difference in status. Illya informs Sylvia and continues with her own work. Upon Soleil’s arrival, he and Sylvia come together to meet Illya, who sends them to have tea while she gets ready. She tells Sylvia not to entertain him in her room to be safe from rumors but Sylvia is ignorant and Soleil says it is fine as the people are trustworthy so Illya relents. Illya leaves to get ready, Soleil tries to stop her but doesn’t know what to say. Sylvia gets impatient because they both say nothing and takes Soleil away. Illya confides in Al that it will always be her job to watch others walk away, leaving her behind. Illya comes in while they were discussing Soleil’s friend. Illya feels left out of the conversation because she was never introduced to any of Soleil’s friends. Soleil in none of her lives spends time with Illya in the academy and this life spends all his lunchtime taking care of his sister-in-law. Illya leaves the party. Sylvia chides Illya saying Soleil came to meet her and Soleil displays the required concern as her fiance. Illya apologizes and tells Soleil to take care of her sister and leaves. She enters her room hoping Crow would be there.

    At the academy, while Soleil invites Sylvia to have lunch with him and his friends every day, Illya eats alone in a secluded part of the academy, in order to avoid the pain of seeing the two of them together and the mockery towards her by those around them. One afternoon while she was having her lunch, a student she never met before comes up to her and tries to befriend her. Rather than befriend her, she can make out he is looking down on her, she finds out he is a foreign student named Saion, the friend Sylvia and Soleil were talking about at her house. The friend she the fiance was never introduced to, but Sylvia knew very well. After beating around the bush, he asks her what she thinks about separating two people who love each other and tells her that she should release him. Illya as usual doesn’t blame him for thinking that way. As he doesn't know that even if she now withdraws from the engagement, Soleil’s parents would not accept Sylvia as her replacement because Sylvia currently does not have all the knowledge required to be Soleil’s wife. Also, in the life where she ran away and Sylvia married Soleil, Illya ran away two days before the marriage, so they had no choice but to let Sylvia marry Soleil. So as their ally, she understands why he is against her and believes she is tearing this lovely couple apart.


    Illya is in the academy library, practicing saying that she doesn’t love Soleil anymore, in hopes that this will help her get over Soleil and they could have a harmonious marriage together when her friend in a political, yet happy engagement, Marianne comes to her. They talk of a popular, yet unrealistic (Marianne’s personal opinion) story about the romance between an exiled princess and her knight. Marianne then asks Illya how she feels about the close relationship between Soleil and Sylvia. Illya used to such a question, smiles, and says she is grateful to Soleil for taking care of her sister while she is busy. Marianne is aware that Illya is lying and is hurting. She, who was Illya’s rival in all her previous but was her friend in this one, promises Illya that if she ever needs help, she’ll be there for her. Illya knew that if this was any of her first few lives she would have jumped at that offer but that never leads to a good end for the person who helped her so she refuses the offer.

    Illya’s father buys her a large gemmed necklace, the color of her eyes for her debutante. He calls her into the guest room and just points at her and tells the merchant to give them a jewel matching her eyes. He agrees to buy the first thing the merchant presents to him and leaves without dismissing either Illya or the merchant, leaving them awkwardly alone in the room. The merchant despite visiting numerous households is surprised and finds such a situation awkward and departs after asking Illya if she requires anything else. Sylvia is excited about Illya’s necklace and acts jealous. Sylvia then shows off the painting their father gave her. It was a painting he made himself and gifted to her at the same time, he gifted Illya the necklace. She is happily hugging their father while he happily pats her head, oblivious and unconcerned to the fact that Illya was never given such an opportunity to be loved. Sylvia complains to their father that Illya rarely visits and keeps a distance from her, unaware that these were the instructions given to her by their mother. The father aware of such a rule, instead of standing up for his daughter looks at Illya with disappointment and calls her a ‘cruel, older sister’ under his breath. Illya was barely surprised. Since she was a child, her parents would leave her for Sylvia saying, that since she will be fine on her own, they don’t need to worry about her. As a child, she believed this to be their trust in her but now wonders when she realized it was just their neglect towards her. Soleil escorts Illya for her debutante and emotionlessly compliments her. He sees her necklace and says it shows how much her father loves her. This is because since her eyes are a dull shade of green, jewels of a similar color are rare. Illya agrees with him, that is a shallow, yet expensive gift which was bought with zero thought in order to keep their image in society perfectly portraying her father’s love for her compared to the priceless painting he made himself for Sylvia.

    Illya is studying alone in the archives room when she sees from her window, her family out for a picnic without her. Staring at the happy family, unable to peel herself away from the view of her father, who could not spare her a moment’s time to discuss her doubts on territory management, was gladly painting her sister while their mother watched on. In a daze, Illya accidentally knocks over an ink bottle. She absentmindedly tries to save the ink with her hands, dirtying her entire hands and dress. Just then an old maid happened to enter the archives room and notices the mess. She tries to help but Illya feels guilty for inconveniencing the maids and apologies for troubling them. The maid seems saddened and troubled with her apology and asks her not to do so. Illya then notices that the old maid is in fact her exclusive maid, who slowly distanced herself from Illya, before becoming Sylvia’s attached maid. When Illya appealed to her mother to get her back, her mother admonished her and told her to give in to Sylvia as she is also important. Illya calls out to the old maid and thanks her. The old maid, Merge is surprised and touched Illya remembered her name and Illya says it is given to remember her as she treated her so well. She smiles but the smile is so plastered, that it scares and saddens Merge. Merge goes out to fill Illyas bathtub for a wash. Another maid comes to help Illya out and takes her to the bathroom. Illya asks her to leave and enters alone. In the bathtub, she remembers a previous life where she was slowly dying on the streets in the rain. She tried to call out for help but had no energy to do so. Just then Crow found her, he told her that everything was fine now and she was happy because she finally heard the words she wanted to. She snapped back to her reality when she realized she was unable to breathe. She was drowning in the bathtub. Suddenly a maid came in worried and tried to help but she was unable to carry Illya out of the tub, frantically other maids, including Merge tried to help but they could not get her out. Al finally rushed in and ignoring the maids admonishing him carried Illya out after a maid covered her with towels. He left her to change and Merge apologized for her negligence. Illya stopped her and apologized in return for troubling them and tried to lighten the atmosphere by degrading herself for doing such childish things like spilling ink and drowning in a tub. Merge is extremely saddened by her self-deprecating attitude and calls her kind. She then leaves after Illya thanks her. After some time, Illya’s mother comes in, telling her not to worry her because they already have one frail child to worry about. Illya who got her hopes of love and attention raised had them brutally crushed when she understood her words and annoyance. She understands her existence means nothing to her family and she is just a deposit left behind by Soleil’s family. Her mother disappointed asked why is almost drowned, Illya responded she slipped like it was a joke, and only then did a slight smile appear on her mother’s face for her. Al sensing the disappointment reminds her mother that it is time and she leaves without ever looking back.

    Illya lays on her bed and removes the fairytale book she was reading in the academy library. She asks Al if he knew of this book, he was aware of its existence but knew nothing else. She explained the premise (it is about a princess and a knight falling in love, overcoming their status barriers by running away to the neighbouring country and living happily ever after) and he was unimpressed. Illya tells Al that Sylvia is a real princess and that Illya, herself is just a side character. Al is surprised. She goes on to explain that the book is in fact her father’s. Al looks doubtful as he is also aware of their shallow relationship. The necklace worn for her debutante was the only thing he really gifted her. Rest everything was given by her mother under her father’s name so he would never give something like this. Illya tells him she stole it from her father and laughs at Al’s surprised reaction. He asks her why she did such a thing and she says she cannot explain. It seemed like he was being intrusive when in fact it was exactly as she said. She had no idea why she took the book. She just did. She noted that if she was caught with the book, she would be admonished and locked in her room but if it was Sylvia, she would just be patted on the head and told to keep the pranks at a minimum.


    She actually first found the book in a past life. She was married and had returned home to ask her father some doubts about territorial management, only to find that they had all gone to a villa for Sylvia to recuperate. Illya asked if her father was aware she was coming, the butler just said he thought he did and that they left in hurry, trying to explain away why Illya was not informed of their absence. Illya left alone in the corridor, hoping to see Crow, suddenly was attracted to her father’s study. She knew she would get in a lot of trouble for entering in there but she felt she had to, especially after finding that the door was surprisingly left unlocked. She went in and among the bookshelves, in a corner, hidden inconspicuously, she found a romance novel. She was surprised that her father had such a book. Back at the present time, she asks Al to check the last page of the book. Curiously Al flipped through the book and was surprised to find a portrait of Sylvia. Illya nodded at his response but contradicted him, saying that was in fact not Sylvia. The first time Illya saw this scribbled portrait, she was jealous. Jealous of these little acts that showed the vast difference in affection their father held for them. She closed the book but realised something was wrong. Upon inspecting the portrait once again she realised, her father who signed and dated all of his work did the same this time too, but the date written below the portrait was long before Sylvia was even born.


    Illya understood that the woman in the portrait was Sylvia’s birth mother but the question of why her portrait was scribbled in this particular book, basically coerced her into finding the author and the ending of that search was just as she expected. Illya looked with relief as Al studied the portrait and the mother, daughter similarities with just curiosity, knowing that if Soleil had been in his place, he would he smiled joyfully as he traced the portrait gently as if caressing Sylvia. Illya, with her infinite relives, couldn’t differentiate if this was just her imagination or something that actually happened in a past life. Illya realised that this book was in all sense of the term, her father’s book and that the knight illustrated in the book was in fact her father. But she knew her mother was not a princess of a neighbouring country, even if she was not born in the country they live in, so this was not their love story.


    Their conversation was cut short by a knock on the door. Al returned the book, saying that Illya willed it, they could continue the conversation later. He stared at her like he knew she mustered up all her courage to bring it up this time and there may not be a next time. As there were no maids, Al opened the door. It was Sylvia. Despite running a fever she came to visit Illya. She asked Illya about her health and held her hand in support. Illya was comforted by the warmth in the hand but could not bring herself to grasp it. Sylvia snuck in some of the medicine that their mother gave her for Illya. Sylvia freed Illya’s hand to leave but Illya unconsciously reached out for her. Sylvia held her hand once again and Illya could not help but remember that these were the hands that once protected her even though they would, as always, steal everything away from her. Illya could imagine Crow laughing at her for excusing and forgiving Sylvia for everything just because of that.

    Illya coincidentally crosses paths with Soleil at the academy, where he invites her to join him for lunch. Although uncomfortable, Illya, being from a lower noble house than Soleil, cannot decline his invitation as they are in public. Soleil’s friend, Saion, standing behind Soleil asks him if Illya is his fiance, pretending as though he has never met her. Illya introduces herself first, despite being Soleil’s fiance (apparently people of the lower noble house are supposed to introduce themselves first and since Illya is Soleil’s fiance, she should generally be greeted first) but Illya guessed Saion to be a higher aristocrat of a neighbouring country so she played it safe. All this while Soleil never bothers confirming Saion’s question, either because he had no intention to introduce her as his fiance or because it was a well-known fact, he thought there was no need to expressly explain it here. Saion introduces himself but refers to her as “young lady”, which is disrespectful to a person of the same age. Illya takes (aka hopes) it to be a cultural difference. Illya felt a stare at her. When looked back she saw Soleil looking at her. Both were surprised by his action. Saion intending to join them for lunch, lead the way to the cafeteria with Soleil following him a moment after, with Illya left behind, slowly following them, with memories of Soleil once telling Sylvia to take her time with Illya holding her breath in the background so as to not disturb then, as Illya could no longer find the Soleil, who in her memories who patiently waited for her catch up and smiled gently as she did when they first met when they got engaged.


    As they were seated in the cafeteria, Illya could only wonder if their seating arrangements were alright (her opposite Soleil with Saion next to Soleil) and if that was the seat Sylvia usually sat in. Saion, continuing to play innocent, cruelly asks Illya where she usually ate her lunch and if there were any places where one can have lunch apart from the cafeteria, and whether she eats with her friends. Illya responded that she would usually eat in the courtyard and that she was always alone. Soleil was surprised at she was alone, while Illya was surprised he even cared, but she still couldn’t control the excitement racing through her heart. Especially when Soleil suggests they should eat together whenever their schedule allowed them to do so. Yet Saion destroyed what little atmosphere was created by stating the obvious - that they are both very awkward with each other despite being engaged. Soleil tells him to shut up but Saion eggs them on by asking that Sylvia should join them as well. Illya is unable to answer because she knows she cannot say no, so after a moment of silence Soleil says yes and changes the topic, discussing the internal affairs of the knight department with Saion. The chills running down Illya’s back, due to fear of her same fate repeating itself despite all these events and minimal attention from Soleil happening for the first time, was interrupted by Sylvia calling out to Soleil. And as usual Illya’s voice was stuck in her throat as she saw the strong warmth melting Soleil’s cold eyes, a slight change nobody else would notice, as he saw Sylvia.


    Sylvia shyly said that she heard that Soleil was eating lunch with someone. Saion loudly teased her saying that because she heard he is eating with someone, she came to see who the girl is, changing her words to insinuate a hidden meaning. Sylvia blushed as she denied his meaning, rising exclamations of ‘cute’ from different students across the cafeteria. As always, with the entry of Sylvia, Illya’s existence was separated from them. The three of them laughed, not caring how their words hurt her. Sylvia looked at Illya closely once again, verbally confirming that the someone else eating with Soleil was indeed Illya, and smiled, looking truly relieved from the bottom of her heart. Illya understood that Sylvia knew the importance of a man eating with a girl who was not his fiance and that Sylvia was just concerned about who Soleil ate with and not about Illya, and that she found Illya wasn’t a person worth being cautious of. She might not be aware of who Soleil had feelings for. However, she knew he didn’t have any for Illya. Soleil, with a kind voice only Illya could distinguish, asked Sylvia to join them.


    As Sylvia bashfully joined them, Illya enquired about her health, to which she responded positively and continued to ask about Illya’s health. She suddenly cut short her question, as no one should know that Illya almost drowned in the tub, before apologizing to Illya in a tiny voice. Soleil silently condemned Illya with his eyes, even though he had no knowledge of their situation, upon seeing Sylvia's nervousness. Illya consoled Sylvia but could not fix the tense atmosphere fallen upon the table. Saion gladly took the bait, asking Sylvia what had happened and continued pressuring her for the details, as Sylvia embarrassingly denied answering. Illya tried to support her sister by firmly stating that nothing happened, but that just caused Sylvia to apologize to her once again while shrinking her body even more. Saion told her not to make such a sad expression, directly his actual rebuke towards Illya, who was confused about what she did to cause such a reaction. Illya, before who would have tried to stand up for herself, kept quiet knowing it would just backfire on her and glanced at Soleil who continued eating his meal, obviously having no interest in Illya. Saion tried to pry once again before Soleil shut him down saying he was disturbing Sylvia’s meal. Illya sighed laughingly at his consistent worry for only Sylvia till his last sentence. Soleil noticed her behavior and called her name, surprising her. Illya’s heart tightened at the memory of Soleil, who in one life not even once called her name, in place always calling her ‘hateful’ or spouting that he would never forgive her. She smiled, burying her pain deeper within herself, and smiled at Soleil saying nothing was wrong and he, expectantly continued on unbothered, leaving Illya feeling odd without any hurtful words thrown at her.


    Saion had yet to give up on the incident and once again questioned what happened. Upon seeing a faint frown on Sylvia, Illya told Saion not to bother the child too much, when a passing comment by an eavesdropper, saying she was fierce as the rumors said, reached her ears. It was a subconscious statement the person said to himself, his true thoughts. The statement was mixed in the noise of the cafeteria and was only heard by her as everyone was sensitive to the words filled with malice directed at themselves. The people at her table had no concern for her and she was once again split from their circle. Soleil who never showed the slightest sign of interest towards Illya, who was silent, couldn’t help but call out to his fiancé who was hanging her head down when his line of sight fell on her on a whim, she guessed, as he continued to play the role of her ‘proper fiance’ and she responded that it was nothing continuing to be a convenient fiancé for him while knowing it’s a hollow relation with no hope for redemption. Even her willpower to change something washed away as she could only accept the reality as there was nothing her previous self was ever able to accomplish. Despite knowing she will never win his heart, she played oblivious as she was unable to let go of his hand that waited for her when she first met him.

    After lunch, bidding farewell to Soleil and Saion, Illya walked away with Sylvia. Students passing by tactlessly turned around and stated how they looked nothing alike, repeatedly. With Sylvia walking half a step behind Illya, raised whispers that Sylvia was being called out, lacking the common sense of why would Illya need to summon Sylvia in the academy and in such a public manner, when she could just rebuke her in the privacy of their home. But she could not call them foolish as that was the sort of person she was before the tea party where she remembers it all. Sylvia once again meekly apologizes. Upon Illya’s query as to why she was apologizing, Sylvia responds that it was for going to the cafeteria of her own accord. Illya held in her laughter, wondering why she was saying that now when before this she had been having lunch together with Soleil every day. Illya tried to portray the image of a kind older sister by smiling brightly and telling Sylvia not to mind it as she didn’t either. She made sure to carry herself and adjust her voice to reflect her act while brushing her little sister’s hair. Sylvia sighed and smiled, trusting her. Illya’s chest squeezed out painfully wondering why she would betray her older sister who she trusted so much. She still remembered the hatred existing in the future that had yet to come.


    They went their separate ways at the corner of the corridor as classes were about to begin. Illya watched her as she was growing more into a noble’s young daughter. I remembered the time when she educated Sylvia to prepare for running away in her past life and the feeling of crumbling as she threw away the years she spent staying up all night studying until she coughed blood and handed over everything she worked for to Sylvia, who gleefully confessed how she felt like she was finally alive and how happy she was to learn. They were happy but hopelessly bitter days that left her feeling empty and resentful.


    As she was about to go down the staircase, Illya suddenly heard an unfamiliar voice resound inside her ears, calling her a foolish idiot. They were not words said in this present timeline and as she searched through her memories, her toes tripped on a step and she stumbled. Her heart skipped a beat as her hand missed the handrail and instead grabbed empty air when someone grabbed her arms from behind. She was safe but not relieved yet as from the voice that just called out to her to look out as they grabbed her and pulled her back causing her to lean on that person, she realized it belonged to a man. She looked around and was sigh in relief as nobody was around and gently twisted her body away from the arm wrapped around her stomach in support due to the awkward position that could easily be misunderstood.


    As Illya turned to thank him once again he was slightly surprised upon recognizing her as Soleil’s fiance. Illya became petrified, knowing his face well. The man with the reddish-brown hair, was a friend of Soleil who was always by his side, throughout their time in the academy and even graduation, as they would become partners belonging to the same knight group. As Soleil’s fiancé and later wife, she met him multiple times but doesn’t recall ever having a conversation with him even once. He would always gaze at her as if observing me, with a gaze that was never friendly as though wanting to say something. However, he had never said anything. They never were involved with each other where they were close enough she could touch him. She believed this was because he did not hold a good opinion of her. She thought he had a good relationship with Sylvia though, remembering the day of her wedding with Soleil when although he hadn’t given Illya the slightest word of compliment, he was the person who had greatly praised Sylvia, calling her a princess in front of Illya with zero hesitation, not bothered considering how that passing compliment, which seemed like nothing to them, hurt Illya. She figured he did it instead of Soleil, who couldn’t compliment Sylvia in front of the bride.


    After a moment of staring at each other in silence, Illya thanked him and turned away to leave. He called out to her, his voice echoing in the empty stairwell, making it impossible for her to ignore. He asked her if she was feeling unwell. Illya was taken aback by his genuine concern that shouldn’t have been possible. She replied that she was alright, although upon somebody else pointing it out she realized she was in fact dizzy and weak as the darkness came and she remembered.


    It was in her first life when she was waiting for Soleil to rescue her as she withered away in the commoners’ jail after being falsely accused of murdering Sylvia. This man, with reddish-brown hair that usually shone brightly but was now dimmed into a dull brown by the gloom of the prison where no light reached, had come to visit Illya. He looked down at her from the other side of the iron bars informing Illya that she was pitiful for still believing in Soleil despite being reduced to such a sorry state. His words hurt and tore apart Illya, who could feel her death approaching soon as she was being constantly hit by such cruel words that felt like stones. He continued, saying Soleil would never come, that he was sorry but that was the reality, that she could try struggling and denying it but no one can reverse fate, that the two of them (Soleil and Sylvia) met by fate and her will had nothing to do in this and precisely because it was destiny one can never fight against it and that’s why, everything she did, was in vain. His voice seemed to overflow with pity, deluding her into finding meaning in him coming to see her, who was restrained in jail. She realized she really must have been a fool when she heard him say she’d better give up and die.


    Illya’s heart was filled with fear as she snapped out of her memory with the man, who was much younger than the adult man in her memory, calling out to her once again. She was afraid, wondering why he appeared before her now when they never had any interaction in any of her previous lives, except for her first life. Even then before this time she never remembered her last moments in her first life, but in an instant, she recalled that dreadful moment terribly clearly. Something has started to change. She could feel it. The man stretched out his hand towards her face, asking if she was alright as her face looked terribly pale. Illya flinched back a step or two in fear. Unable to look straight at his face, she left stumbling and shaky down the stairs as she recalled his face in her first life, just before she closed her eyes. Him laughing and telling her she’d better give up and die, before saying “I’m sorry” with tears streaming down his face, still laughing.


    Note: I'm re-reading to write the summaries but it's too much angst for one sitting, will finish soon.

    Table of other spoilers (I made slight changes to their post but original posts are linked)
    • Illya is never loved by her biological mother - She is only a few months older than her half-sister Sylvia, so she would often notice the differences made by her parents. How her mother would wish Sylvia a good night and kiss her while Ilya heard that & often wanted to experience that too, but mother never went to her room.

      Ilya was also told by her mother that she shouldn't visit Sylvia since she is ''sick'' and that if he cares about Sylvia that she wouldn't. One time Sylvia was a bit sad that Ilya wouldn't visit her room so she said that in front of their father. Their father knew that Ilya wasn't allowed to visit Sylvia, but he didn't say anything. He muttered something like ''bad sister''.

      Also, in one of the reincarnations, Ilya showered alone & ended up almost drowning, but was saved by a maid. Al was livid & reprimanded the maids for not being there since apparently, nobles HAVE maids showering them & caring for them. Apparently, Ilya, being the LEGAL daughter of the house should have maids, but all were caring for Sylvia (poor sick child) due to her mother's request. The mother came to the room & before Ilya could smile she told her to be careful since she had already a sick child to take care of (Sylvia). To not cause more trouble & left.

      She also wanted to see her mother but was told ''she asked to not be disturbed because she was busy'' what she noted was that if Sylvia was there she would drop whatever she was doing to spend time with Sylvia.

      Illya is never loved by her father - It also mentions how her father got her a green necklace (like Ilya’s eyes) for her debut. Sylvia is excited and felt that was very beautiful and amazing, but according to Illya, it was a “forced gift” since they had to show society that they have money and all. When the person that was selling the jewelry was in the office with her father and Ilya, it was evident how the father didn’t care at all about her daughter. He selected the necklace and left the room without dismissing Ilya or anything. The jeweler pitied Illya possibly because he had never encountered a scene like that.

      Not only that, their father gifted Sylvia a portrait painted by him. She was so excited while showing it to Illya. “This is prettier than the necklace” I remember reading that line. Ilya pointed out how much the father loved Sylvia. Illya once also stole a book from her father's office and she told Al that if her father knew he would be embarrassed. However, if Sylvia was the one to steal it, he would say something like ''what pranks are you playing''.

      Her father/mother were bad parents to Ilya - Ilya spent her day studying arduously to become the wife of Soleil throughout her childhood. So her spending her time in her ''office'' was everything she would do alone. She would see her family during dinner time but she was often feeling excluded as the conversation was only between Sylvia and her parents. She mentioned something about their eyes glowing for Sylvia.

      When she was falsely accused of murdering Sylvia, her family abandoned her. Her mother turned her back on her rapidly and left her. So did her father and friends.

      Once she had a meeting with her father which she had to ask for to be included in the itinerary, but when she went to the office her father wasn't there. She was told that Sylvia felt sick again so her parents took Sylvia to their cottage. All without notifying Ilya.

      When Ilya was bleeding when she stopped her mom's suicide, Sylvia was the only one asking for Ilya to be seen by the doctor. The doctor was there to check on Sylvia's health & the father/mom insisted on Sylvia being checked FIRST before bleeding Ilya.

      Soleil was a horrible husband to Ilya - In all of their lives, Soleil only had eyes for Sylvia, which was very obvious to Ilya. Ilya was always terribly in love with Soleil plus she loved her sister (even though she denies this) so she suffered a lot.

      Soleil would spend a lot of time with Sylvia and when Sylvia was sad he would often blame Ilya. In the first life, he was convinced she killed Sylvia out of jealousy so he tries to stab her with a knife but was stopped by the butler. He made sure she would die by that crime, so he ensure that Ilya wouldn't get noble benefits when they are imprisoned. He never visited her even when she waited for him. She died.

      In another life Sylvia was told to be very sick & in death bed, so he went immediately to her by horse. Ilya wanted to come with him but he just left. Ilya interpreted it as he wanted his special time with Sylvia. Then Ilya couldn't go since she found out she was pregnant, she also didn't want to go.

      She goes later, her sis confesses she loves Soleil. She doesn't say anything back, Soleil believes she told Sylvia something bad since she was ''cold'' or whatever. He doesn't believe Illya's baby is his. Her sister also told her ''I am scared of dying alone'' so maybe Soleil spent all those months with Sylvia due to that, but as a result, Illya dies alone during childbirth. She also states how she didn't want to die alone either. She suffers over never actually seeing her baby.

      In another life, Soleil and Sylvia are expecting a baby and they tell Ilya. Ilya noted that Soleil didn't feel bad at all when he said he was sorry. She kills herself.

      In ALL of their lives, Soleil wasn't really interested in his wife. He never made the effort of getting to learn anything about her, but he ofc made efforts for Sylvia. On the wedding day, Ilya could see the love in Sylvia's and Soleil's eyes when they looked at each other. As if lamenting not marrying each other.

      Sylvia was a bad sister - Sylvia is described as this pure, adorable, cute soul. But we have to take note that she was raised very differently from Ilya. She wasn't expected to study during the whole day, she had the love of her stepmom and her dad, she wasn't forced to learn the noble etiquette, she had the attention and love of maids/servants, and she had the love of Soleil.

      Sylvia was given the wet nanny of Ilya (Ilya adored her) by her stepmom's request (Illya's biological mom and Sylvia's stepmom). However, she was allowed to talk to her like a friend. Ilya was told to be cordial and distant to maids/servants. She was the apple of her stepmom/dad's eye. Soleil saw fragile Sylvia & wanted to protect her. It is understandable why Ilya was jealous.

      Sylvia would still see Soleil in all of their lives, no matter what. I feel that she should've had to restrain to respect her sister's marriage since feelings aren't created in thin air. It takes time and effort to love someone. I believe she had an affair in all of their lives. I also doubt she was that dumb to not notice the mistreatment her sister was experiencing.

      Without Ilya's existence, there is NO SoleilxSylvia - Sylvia was fragile that it was believed that she wouldn't survive childbirth, so finding a prospect was difficult. Why couldn't Soleil just pick Sylvia? It was told that she wouldn't have a chance as there were BETTER prospects for Soleil. So if the engagement was broken they wouldn't ever be together.

      Also, Soleil said that he wanted a strong and independent wife that could withstand noble life. Ilya worked hard to be like that & didn't mind what people said of her. Sylvia wouldn't be able to live through that, which is why he was okay with marrying Ilya.

      Although that was proven to not be real since in another life Ilya prepares Sylvia to take her place. She ran away the day of the wedding so that Sylvia would be forced to take the place and get a chance to be with him.

      I just want to hug Ilya and give her all the love she desperately wants. Unfortunately, Ilya never stands up for herself nor moves from the same perspective. She always wants to protect her sister no matter what, but she doesn't notice she needs to protect herself more. Her sister may die young but she always knew what love was and always had everything she could ever want. On the other hand, Ilya has always been truly lonely & mistreated.

      Source - https://forum.novelupdates.com/posts/5587127/
      • Life 1 (Known): Sylvia was killed by bandits. Soleil lost his mind and was killed by Al after Illya's death while he was at a brothel with a Sylvia look-alike.
      • Life 2: Whether their family tells Sylvia or not about it, she probably does not die in peace. If she knows she will be sad because of what she said at their last meeting. If she didn't know, she will be sad to know Illya didn't forgive her. Soleil will never be happy and probably regret his behavior toward Illya and feel guilt towards his mother-less son.
      • Life 3: We know Sylvia had a miscarriage from the shock of Illya's suicide. She probably never forgives herself. Even if Soleil is totally shameless in this timeline, he probably never able to really have Sylvia because of her trauma.
      • Life 4: Difficult, this one. I don't think we have enough information about her situation and death to make hypotheses here.
      • Life 5: Sylvia and Soleil go into depression from guilt. Soleil goes to war even though he didn't need to since the battle was an easy one and dies there. Sylvia dies at home.
      • Life 6: We don't have enough information apart from Illya's carriage accident.
      • Life 7: The father kills Illya at their mother's funeral, I don't know if he felt guilt but Sylvia and Soleil will probably be shocked by that. If they search about the answer Illya didn't give, they will probably find how badly Illya was treated and feel guilt. If they let it go, they could be together I guess, free of guilt since they know nothing.
      Apart from 2 timelines, with the personality of Soleil and Sylvia we can say (and hope) they will not be happy most of the time. Of course, it's only hypotheses, but I think it's quite good.

      Source - https://forum.novelupdates.com/posts/6523814/
    • Life 1 - She loves Soleil and plays the stereotypical "villainess" by separating the two, chastising her sister in public, etc. She is wrongfully condemned to death by Soleil for plotting her sister's death.
      [*]Life 2 - She returns to the moment when she is already hopelessly in love with Soleil, thinking that as long as she is forgiving and gentle this time, he won't condemn her and somehow they'll live a satisfying married life. She leverages shady tactics to protect herself from false accusations and stop the bandits as the perfect Marchioness. She refuses Al's help in running away because he already died because of her in the first life. Instead, she dies in childbirth, accused of adultery bc of her bad rep.
      Life 3 - She is traumatized by the loss of her child and goes half-insane thinking her child still exists. She gets imprisoned in her room where she meets Crow for the first time. He consoles her and is her only companion. She makes him promise to protect Silvia from the bandits. Silvia gets pregnant with Soleil's child and is taken in as mistress. Ilya commits suicide.
      Life 4 - Ilya decides to take her escort knight, Al's offer, and runs away. He dies to the Marquess' knights in the attempt because one of his comrades betrayed them. She is forced to return because she was raised as the future Marchioness and they have no replacement. Soleil acts as if she betrayed him. Ilya discovers Al was survived by his fiance and knows she can never take his help again.
      Life 5 - Ilya raises Silvia as her successor so the Marquessate won't search for her even if she runs. She escapes alone but is intercepted by slave traders and sold to a brothel. Crow returns as she's on her deathbed, nursing her to make her last days comfortable. Crow finds Al, who takes her to Soleil and Silvia's manor because he thinks she'd want to be with family. Crow doesn't hear her ask for him to stay. Soleil and Silvia are married with children and on Ilya's deathbed, Soleil has the gall to blame Ilya for absconding.
      Life 6 - Briefly mentioned, she gets run over by a carriage on their way to the theatre.
      Life 7 - Ilya spends all her time searching for Crow. More insight into Soleil. This loop takes a closer look at her relationship with her family. The household neglects her as she buries herself in studies in hopes of being loved. She avoids all her favorite things because Silvia likes them too and she'll always be seen as inferior. Only Crow notices this. She helps Silvia get permission to attend the academy while she gets painted as the villainess in the academy. She's an outsider in her own family and we discover why along with why Silvia dies in certain timelines and not others. She thinks there might be something Crow's said, something very important that she's forgotten. She almost drowns in the bathtub.
      Life somewhere we don't really know - Her near-death by drowning melts into another preceding life where she's dying in a rain-soaked alleyway in Crow's arms. It does not become clear until much later, but her lives are blending together in her jumbled memories.
      Life 7, Checkpoint 1 - Her mother commits suicide after Ilya confronts her with Silvia's real identity. She gets accused of causing her mother's death. She died, beat up by her dad at her mother's funeral.
      Life 7, Checkpoint 2 - Yay, new checkpoint! By unraveling the mystery she gets restored to the moment her mother attempts suicide and prevents her death. She unravels the entire backstory of Silvia's birth and dies in the course of saving Silvia's life from the bandit attack in the first life. They aren't bandits, but part of a deeper plot, overcoming a third checkpoint! She tells Soleil she doesn't love him.
      In Soleil POV we learn that he likes cute and fragile girls. But since he is a marquis, he is on top of the noblesse (there is no duke in his country) he cannot have a weak wife.

      So he chooses Ilya who is a strong woman. From his POV, he just logically cannot accept another woman than Ilya since she is so skilled, he really tries to be a good husband and really think he is nice to little sis only because he is her brother, a family member.

      He doesn't really care about Ilya because she is strong so she didn't need him.

      Since Soleil is the most important noble after the royals, no one dares to try talking to him about his behavior. And since no one tell him he mistreat his fiance, he didn't realize it either.

      When we know what happens after Ilya's death he never has a happy ending. In the first loop, he was killed by Ilya knight "Al" and no one help him. Because even if he uses all means to condemn Ilya, the nobles know she is innocent but cannot do anything about it, so when the knight avenges her, the nobles didn't blame him. (P.S. I am not sure if Al never faced any repercussions for killing Soleil, considering he is a fugitive who killed the head of a family. His comrades may have helped escape again though.)

      In the loop where Ilya died from sickness after running away (life 5), he kills himself.
      She has a YOLO mindset. She is sick and probably died before her 20 years so she wants to know love etc...

      She is spoiled rotten too by her family and since she will probably die before being an adult she never takes any lessons. She just only stays at home and is loved by everyone. Since everyone loved and forgive her, she imagines Ilya will forgive her too even if she likes her husband.

      In the loop where Ilya kills herself, she wakes up from her YOLO mindset and falls into depression before dying.

      In the last loop, she finally notices the discrimination and stands up against Ilya's mistreatment.

      Since every time little sis died, that didn't end well for Ilya, she (Illya) has a trauma where she was deeply convinced that litle sis must survive for her to live.
      In another country, there is a princess who was in love with her knight. They used the rebellion to elope in another country where there are very happy. But the rebellion ends and the princess needs to return. Because the princess was a jealous, selfish b*tch she orders her maid to marry the knight. So that she was sure he'd never forget her.

      The knight and the maid have a girl, it's Ilya, and sometime later the princess visits the knight and the two of them have a daughter as well, Sylvia. Because their relationship was a secret, the litle princess cannot stay in her country so the princess gives her to her father and order her maid to take care of her better than her own child. The maid loves and is very faithful to the princess so she agrees to do so.

      All the royals are dead now and the next country has a power struggle, Sylvia has strong royal specific traits so she can become queen. If she goes outside she is a threat to the people from the next kingdom who want to be king (she was killed by them in the 1er loop) so her mother used drugs (real drugs, not medicine) to maintain Sylvia's sickness and keep her at home where she is safe.

      When Ilya asks her mother about the drug, she (the mother) kills herself in front of Illya, and she was accused of murdering her. The father was so angry he hit her so hard she died.

      In the last loop, she prevents her mother from suicide and tells her father his wife is depressed.
      It's Crow, a raven. XD

      He's a magician boy whose dad experimented on him, he died and became a ghost. A doctor helped him stabilize and after that, he just strolls around since he cannot speak and people cannot see him. After some time, people who have magic disappear and no one can see him. One day he obtains a puppet and enters inside. He has a new body, (he transform himself into a raven to be free of his movement) while he enjoys his life and body and century or millennia (i don't know) alone, he meets Ilya in the loop where she kills herself.

      He observes her and wants to help her but he doesn't know how. After her death he was depressed and found the doctor (who is still alive, we don't know how) and discussed the time loop. He tries using his power and succeeds, after that he chases her through different loops.

      At first, he wanted to remove the bad aftertaste of his mouth to see Ilya's life. After some time he starts to really care about her.
      Ilya isn't a prisoner of a time loop, her soul traverses dimensions instead. We don't know why or how yet. That explains why Ilya didn't have a good ending in each loop. The character isn't the same, there are some differences like her friend who have a good relationship with her fiance or not. The dimensions are all different so Ilya cannot predict what happens.

      Source - https://forum.novelupdates.com/posts/6166085/
    • Major plot points summary of first three lives - https://forum.novelupdates.com/posts/2537174/
      Summary up to just after Soleil's dream - https://forum.novelupdates.com/posts/1088959/



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    Last edited: Apr 28, 2022
  3. BlancFrost

    BlancFrost ❄Middle child: Carm & Dev + Sio's FSIL ❄

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    I also want to know what happens~ *watches thread* (*w*)
     
  4. ludagad

    ludagad Addicted to escapist novels

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    Huu, it's been a while since I read it, and it wasn't complete then. I just remember it was endless sadness for the MC.
    She got a few reiterations, and no matter what she did, she always married the guy, he was always in love with the younger sis, things always ended up badly for her. During one life, the little sis even got pregnant from the guy in their affair. Just, endless hurt and tears, meh. I don't know who enjoys reading this. Edit: The following was my faulty memories. Read the posts below for accurate spoilers. Anyway, in the end it appears that this was all dreamed up by her in prison in her original life, where she was suspected of orchestrating her little sis's murder (she was innocent of course, her husband is just an asshole with trust issues). My foggy memories are telling me her bodyguard (?) helped her escape after he went to kill her husband (I don't think he killed him, maybe injured).
    Unn, it's best if someone who's recently read this came and gave a decent spoiler.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2017
  5. Alyuna

    Alyuna Tactical Dove, Best Birb

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    Whoa, too much things that doesn't fit my taste . . .

    Thanks, this sated my curiosity
     
  6. Capa

    Capa Well-Known Member

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    I don't remember much but it's a rather sad piece with constant reiteration. The last I'd reached was that she discovered the very clue that she needed. Her sister illness was never there in the first place but was because of her mother poisoning her half sister due to jealousy of her sister's mother. Her father was in an arranged marriage with her mother but he loved the mistress. What she presumed as tender loving care all this while that the mother was pouring onto her sister was actually twisted jealousy.
    I think her life will improve after this. Since the sister won't get sick and won't be frail any more.
     
  7. Ruyi

    Ruyi translator at CG

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    !! Is that so...I hope so.
    I've had this series bookmarked since forever, hoping for a happy ending of some kind. Ahh...do your best, MC!
     
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  8. ChuChi

    ChuChi Well-Known Member

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    It was listed that it has 30 chapters in raw, only 30? And is this already a complete novel?
     
  9. iampsyx

    iampsyx Have some rest, and let's do better tomorrow

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    The younger sis... gets pregnant...@_______@
    That's just...woah...I mean, I do feel bad for the MC, but I didn't actively hate the younger sis and the fiancee because I thought they were just pining for each other and never really 'got together' (as in realized their feelings were mutual and went towards 'that' stage). But they really cheated on her? That's just...*shakes head*
     
  10. ludagad

    ludagad Addicted to escapist novels

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    I think the worst of all is the spineless guy. He was the one who decided to marry the MC despite his love for her younger sis. That's next level scumbag behavior toward both girls. There were whatever bullshit reasons, but in the end, he decides. The MC, as a female, doesn't have the right to refuse the marriage, but he can. He can assert himself and say, ' No, I'll marry the little sis no matter what', but he picked the easy way out. He never fought for his love, he had no resolve. He just sucks. And even when he got married to the MC, he never made an effort to get to know her and develop their love. He was just stuck in his first love forever, went to seek the little sis of his own will, and didn't allow his mind to change. So he turned the little sis into an adultress. What a way to treat someone yo love, hah. Forget this novel. Ah, and before you think the MC has a chance at romance with her bodyguard, he has a loving fiancee. So, the MC is just a very sad existence, who's denied any chance at love. I kept reading the novel hoping for some light, but nah. It's just meant to put the readers into depression.
     
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  11. iampsyx

    iampsyx Have some rest, and let's do better tomorrow

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    .........
    orz
    And this goes on for 30+ chapters??!!!
    ........
    ........
    ........
    Is the author a sadist or what?
     
  12. ludagad

    ludagad Addicted to escapist novels

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    To be fair, I read this a while ago, and there are probably more chapters. Maybe something changed for the better. Maybe there'll be a happy ending. But I just got so depressed reading this novel, I don't think I'll go back to it. At this point I don't care what happens to these characters. I just wish to read escapist novels with badass female leads and feel good.
     
  13. iampsyx

    iampsyx Have some rest, and let's do better tomorrow

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    I don't mind reading sad stories, but not ones that are just too long...I don't mind crying, but it's not like I want to get depressed! :cry:
     
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  14. Skyelyne

    Skyelyne Well-Known Member

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    sighs...was deciding on whether to read this novel or not and was hoping for this novel is be somewhat happy but if the MC keeps suffering like this for so long, guess I won't be reading. I like angst and stuffs but not too much xc
     
  15. Ash

    Ash 『』

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    Ah, so much spoilers..I can't see anything
     
  16. Ruyi

    Ruyi translator at CG

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    I can't believe this. I'm reading this because I hope for a happy ending, a form of escape, anything...!

    If there's nothing in it for the MC but never ending heartbreaking and suffering and death until she goes insane, I think this story will drive me crazy. :/
     
  17. Alyuna

    Alyuna Tactical Dove, Best Birb

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    Is there any novel more depressing than this one ? I want to know more about this kind of thing
     
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  18. ludagad

    ludagad Addicted to escapist novels

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    Wife, I'm the baby's father, or something like that. I'd say it's a more depressing novel.
     
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  19. LostBMe

    LostBMe Well-Known Member

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    There might be some hope this time around?
    For one, at least one of her 'friends' from the former lives that also always ended tragically/fruitlessly, this time around managed to get herself a happy ending. So the friend 'did' something that made it possible. And I think this time around she's noticing/remembering all this much earlier in life than she did in previous incarnations, so maybe more hope? Still, its depressing cuz you can't really tell if any of it will be of use to her situation.
     
  20. Yunchii

    Yunchii Best Waifu - Tamamo-no-Mae

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    Last edited: Jan 28, 2017
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