Corrupt a Wish

granted, he took your teddy bear when you were but a child and now you've vowed for revenge by being the best teddy bear maker and deprives him of any of your creations

I wish for a coffee bean

 

Grant, but you become that coffee bean yourself!

I wish for me to become a girl.

 

granted but you're just too manly so you turn into macho man randy savage just, just gender swapped

I wish for a flash flood in my area

 

granted,the next morning you wake up in the middle of the ocean

I wish for living snowmen

 

Granted, but they go into hiding due to the rising global temperature

I wish for a robot butler

 

granted, but the high cost of maintenance for the thing means you are never home to use it

I wish for a book collection

 

granted, but they're in digital format and full of misinformation

I wish for a drill bit

 

Granted but it only works for a bit

I wish for flare gun

 

granted, but you can only attract swarm of mosquitoes

I wish for a deep voice

 

Your voice is so deep our ears can't hear it

I wish for a wakeboard

 

granted, it's full of holes for uhh.... for easier use and uhh... water, water, less water resistance, yeah

I wish to be omniscient

 

granted, due to knowing everything, you find everything meaningless, and thus waste way without doing anything

I wish for some cough medicine

 

granted, but you get addicted to it that you purposely catch a diseases just so you can take the medicine

I wish for ice cream

 

granted, you're in pain 24/7

I wish ice cream never melts outside my mouth

 

Granted, it never melts inside your mouth either.

I wish for a midi keyboard.

 

Wish granted.
You got a
Mildly Irritating, Definitely Irksome Keyboard.


I wish for a dish washer.

 

Granted, you get an impossibly creepy being that appears out of thin air every night to wash your dishes and stare at you as you sleep for repayment of sorts. Where they come from and what they really want from you, you'll never know...

I wish for dodo birds and passenger pigeons to be unextinct.

 

I wanted the machine but a creepy being works too... i can laze around while it washes xD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Granted...
[Excerpt from a press release from V.A.L]
In the year 20xx, after 10 years, Project Extant has borne fruit.
30 species has been brought back from extinction.
Flora and fauna of the bygone era now living again.
This facility, V.A.L. (Valcryst Academy of Learning), its researchers and staff has worked tirelessly for a decade and have opened up parts of the facility for viewing of this wonderous miracle.
Sabretooth tigers, Passenger Pigeons, Tasmanian Tigers and other species have come back to life.
Millions have come and gone to see the amazing sights that we have to offer.
We appreciated the applause, accolades and support that our work has received from all of you. So we have endeavored to add more to our collection.
We moved on to our next project specie, The Dodo.
We have had snags, incompatibility of chickens and other birds as a jumping off point being one of it. We explored Kiwis and even ostriches being flightless birds as options to no avail. Up until we tried Emus.... we got success.
We successfully cloned Dodos.... is what i want to say but we didnt get exactly what we wanted.
And here is what you have come here to hear:

We apologize for the creation of the Mega Dodo and the subsequent destruction of the cities around the world that they have caused.
We claim full responsibility and are now on the verge of findi-
*crash*
Oh my god! Theyre here! Run!
*static*


I wish for a dog poop scooping robot.

 

Granted, a dog poop now goes around scooping up poor, innocent beings with the word robot in their title/name.

I wish for a good nights sleep.

 

Granted.

A good night's sleep is what you want
But lo and behold you can't

So you walk to the kitchen
Got yourself some chicken

A snack and a drink might help you dreamin'
But you end up screamin'

Stabbed you got, by a robber in the night
He just struck out in fright

As you lay there, your eyes getting heavy
Floor cold, smell of old spaghetti

Your final though was this:
"I'm gonna be sleeping well tonight, sweet bliss"

~the end~

I wish that that wasnt as dark as it was