Whats the point in being filial

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Lurking, Apr 2, 2020.

  1. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    I'm naturally inclined to be filial.

    To do things for my parents and love them and support them. I don't feel like that has worth anymore. I wonder why I continue

    Whats the point in being filial when your parent doesnt care. When to your parent you have no worth as a person. When to them you are just a thing, an 'extension' of them that does not have its own thoughts or emotions or feelings.

    Whats the point when the only thing about you they care about is that you clean and may provide them grandchildren. This parent doesnt care about anything else about you. Why be filial?

    I'm contemplating finding rat poison and feeding it to this scum. I am a person. I am more than just my ability to clean and continue lineage. I can intensely love a good parent... and intensely hate and despise a bad one.
     
  2. Moonpearl

    Moonpearl Professional Yuri Girl ❀ [Yuri Garden Creator]

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    There's 0 need to be filial.

    However, committing murder would mean wasting the rest of your life in jail because of them. Better just to cut them off the normal way and prosper on your own.
     
  3. akki

    akki [Ani's C☕ffee-mate #3] [Shady Merchant]

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    The point is to be nice and do what you’re supposed to do as your parents child. So that when you’re older and you stab them in the back in revenge, it hurts them so much more~

    Also maybe you might need to reword what you wrote in case you get reported~
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2020
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  4. Haevrus

    Haevrus No.1 Incognito Webuser

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    Well, at least in my family it all boils down to karma. If you mistreat others (in this case, your parents), how will you feel if someday your own son/daughter mistreats you when you are old ? The same shit they are getting from you, you will get it from others as well. So might as well be the better dude and stop the circle from repeating. Even if history repeats itself, at least you could feel good that you didn't do any wrong. Other then that, it's generally a 'right thing ' to do and a kind of a repayment. (not sure if that's the word). In Asian societies, it's pretty common.
     
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  5. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    umu. i wont actually do the murder thing.

    too risky

    too many consequences for me
     
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  6. Pleasantly-plump

    Pleasantly-plump Well-Known Member

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    ...... I think it doesn't Matter whether the parents or who ever responses to your gestures and is more related to the you the person. You could Express that all in one action like putting them in a nursing home when it is time but the I believe the notion is that despite the shit upbringing, you reached adulthood with their minimal support. So you should say thanks for their teachings.
     
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  7. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    no. this bastard owes us.

    First, he made me have to live and exist. Second, he's a child beater. third, he's the sort who would go off on vacation while we were starving and living in poverty.

    yeah. we dont owe him anything
     
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  8. ATrueStory

    ATrueStory Villainesses, Historical Shit, Noble Circuses

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    Is this a rhetorical question?

    Dont be filial if you dont want to. But if you don't want parents in your life, be serious about it and cut them off. In every way. That's easier than holding a murder charge.

    This is one reason I don't want to be a parent. I don't have to be responsible in the future for a person who is more or less dependent on me for more than a decade. Suddenly, they get to cut off ties coz they want to to. I don't see any incentives and if that makes me selfish, then that's it.
     
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  9. Anra7777

    Anra7777 All powerful magic grammar hamster queen pirate.

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    I’ve had those thoughts before. *pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat*
     
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  10. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    hm. yes.

    for now im malicously sponging benefits.

    soon.
     
  11. Ilja

    Ilja Active Member

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    I'm an early Gen Y-er and a new parent myself. No parents are the same and I know nothing of your condition too, so you may take my words with a grain of salt.

    As for me. Up until this point, my parents have spent over a million dollar to bring me up while demanding very little in exchange. That's only speaking materially. They're still supporting me emotionally over the years and truth be told as they age it baffles me as how I'd do without them when the day comes that I'd have to say goodbye.

    Then considering these, do I have to be filial? You have a point---------- I don't have to. What's the point?

    But I do try to be filial, anyway. There's a reason why gratitude is hardcoded in (most) animals. I see no reason why I have to against this code. I see that gratitude separates those who have the gift of knowledge and those who don't.

    If you really are naturally inclined to be filial. There's actually a thousand ways to be filial without hurting yourself. Ex: You may choose to cut them off physically but still send occasional message via the mail with some cash for them to live their senior lives. There's also other ways, but that's up to you.

    Know one thing though. If you think this is the lowest point you can go when it comes to your relationship with your parents, it can only go up from now on.

    This too, will pass.
     
  12. Kurotsubaki

    Kurotsubaki Reincarnation of the Seven Deadly Sins

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    What's the point in us being alive?

    We'll be dead sooner or later and the world as whole will still functioning even without us. You'll be forgotten anyway

    Your question and this question are quite similar. your question can be answered by this, but this question doesn't have answer

    You're at least needed by your parent(s) with the proof being your parent had raised you and not throw you away to the roadside or straight up abort you
     
  13. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    too poisoned to do that now. its not a good relationship but if i get better feelings when far away and gone i think money in mail and no other contact would be good.

    alas the one i liked is dead.
     
  14. Viola

    Viola Studio Ghibli Fanboy Mother of Learning Fanboy

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    Disregard can be a most painful torture.

    They may not care now but what of when they are dying. That could be a good way to get him back. Don't take care of or see them when they are that old. Don't bring your kids to visit.

    Personally I'd go see my most hated parent on their death bed. If only because I wish my own kids would do the same no matter what I did.

    Just a rambling thought.
     
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  15. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    ...he didnt raise me actually. my mom did.
     
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  16. ExcitableFoci

    ExcitableFoci Well-Known Member

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    None. However you can brainwash your kids into thinking that there is one.

    'Its because I don't want you to end in the streets that I demand so much from you.'

    'I hit you because I love you'

    'You must love your parents, they brought you to this world.'

    'Look at that kid, he studies 4 hours everyday!'

    'Why do you continue to argue so much with us!'

    'You were so much more obedient as a kid!'

    *Keeps doing random thing they think you should be grateful for*
    'Once we are old, you should treat us as good as we are treating you.'

    'You shouldn't be around that girl, I have nothing against her but gypsies/black people are a bad crowd to mingle with. And they stink.'

    *Continues to indroduce girls of her ethnicity, repeating how beautiful/sweet they are 24/7.'

    'Do you really think that someone will marry you knowing that you read cartoons?'

    ...

    'I want you to let me have your kids for a few years once they are born.'

    ...
    @Lurking
    Don't take decisions with a hot head, but if you really want to kill them. I am no one to tell you not to. A lot of countries like Japan literally classify 99% of homicides as suicides to save face and time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2020
  17. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    i repay nice for nice and bad for bad.

    i have food now so i do some nice stuff.

    good point overall.
     
  18. Vilidious

    Vilidious Well-Known Member

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    It depends, in my opinion.

    First of all, have they been a parent to you?

    Have they been present in your youth and raised you, or just let you fend for yourself?

    Have they been worthy of your trust?

    If they don't do parenting, then are they even more than an acquaintance who happens to be blood related?

    Have they supported you financially or when you were in need, or did you have to earn everything yourself?

    Personally, I don't see why a person should sacrifice their life once they're adults if the parent - child -relationship is no more than two people who grew apart at one point... at least I don't want to wipe the behind of an adult who has screwed his life up with his own decisions and continues to do so just because society thinks "being filial is what you're supposed to do".

    There are quite a few tragedies in the world born from just the fact that people blindly believe in "society's morals" even when they're being used by people who don't deserve their benefits and use them just to take advantage of, or harm, others.

    That's why I think it's more about having the critical thinking to be able to see beyond the rules into their meaning and spirit, and uphold those if one is that kind of a person.
     
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  19. Ilja

    Ilja Active Member

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    If it's really as toxic as you're implying, then you're better off being away from him. Staying out of fights with your parents is also one of ways to be filial, really. But if you're willing to take a suggestion--- do message him once at a time, you don't have to include a return address. You can choose to include your complaints in your message; about how he's driving you away and perhaps your wish it wouldn't have to be this way. Maybe he'd come to ponder your words and you can patch whatever relationship you have had then.

    Remember that this too will pass. Your old man may be gone without things between you improving. But then at least you can say with a smile when you tell others: Hey, I actually really tried.
     
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  20. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

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    it was way more toxic before. its graudally improving over time

    sometimes i just want to murder him tho.

    had a really bad headspace when i originally posted.
     
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