akki
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Boat Riding Through The Fjord On The 474th Floor
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[ѕтαℓкιηﻭ вℓα¢ккηιﻭнтﻭσ∂չιℓℓα] [αιιєє'ѕ ѕтαя]

akki

[Ani's C☕ffee-mate #3] [Shady Merchant], Male, from Boat Riding Through The Fjord On The 474th Floor

I feel annoyed~ Mar 4, 2024

    1. Bad Storm
      Bad Storm
      Who handles your shady business when you're not around?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. akki
        akki
        We are everywhere. We could be your neighbours, your friends, your co-workers or even your family...
        Apr 17, 2019
      3. Bad Storm
        Bad Storm
        Is there any way to identify you lot?
        Apr 17, 2019
      4. akki
        akki
        You don't identify us. We identify you. When there's profit to be made, we will be there. When you're in need of something, we will be there. When there's people to scam, we will be there.
        Apr 17, 2019
    2. littleshanks
      littleshanks
      *stalks
      1. Das
        Das
        ^^^
        Apr 13, 2019
    3. akki
      akki
      43. What is 43?
      1. Blitz
        Blitz
        The answer to the meaning of life +1?
        Apr 10, 2019
      2. OnceandFutureLurker
      3. Nahrenne
        Nahrenne
        A number.
        X
        Apr 10, 2019
    4. Twilight Fox
      Twilight Fox
      Akki, have you ever had hair that wasn't red?
      1. akki
        akki
        Plenty of times~
        Apr 8, 2019
    5. akki
      akki
      When a bug decides to play chicken with you and loses. akki: 5 - Bug: RIP~
      1. Effugium likes this.
      2. DocB
        DocB
        it's not a bug, it is a glitch.
        if you grab a chair, put it in the corner and jump on it, you can clip that wall, just drop down and aim for the cutscene trigger
        Apr 8, 2019
        akki likes this.
    6. OnceandFutureLurker
      OnceandFutureLurker
      Sunday, April 7 is National Coffee Cake Day 2019 in United States of America. As a dedicated coffee drinker do you celebrate it even though you live in the UK ?
      1. akki
        akki
        I do like eating coffee cake but nope. Didn’t know it was a thing.
        Apr 8, 2019
        OnceandFutureLurker likes this.
    7. akki
      akki
      A sudden foot cramp is scary~
      1. View previous comments...
      2. OnceandFutureLurker
        OnceandFutureLurker
        to prevent possible gout
        Apr 7, 2019
      3. akki
        akki
        @GonZ555 why it’s scary or why have salt?
        Apr 8, 2019
      4. GonZ555
        GonZ555
        Both
        Apr 8, 2019
    8. akki
      akki
      Selecting a password is such a bitch nowadays~
      1. GonZ555
        GonZ555
        Ditto.
        Apr 6, 2019
    9. OnceandFutureLurker
      OnceandFutureLurker
      what are you spying ?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. akki
        akki
        Well she says the scenery but knowing kame there could be lewd stuff happening in the background~
        Apr 2, 2019
      3. jamechi
        jamechi
        So you're spying on BL?!
        Apr 4, 2019
      4. Raneday
        Raneday
        what a silly question

        Akki's spying for redheads
        Apr 6, 2019
        akki likes this.
    10. akki
      akki
      A fat ass bee has come into our house 4 times now. My brother gets rid of it but it keeps coming back. What the fuck is going on?
      1. Raneday
        Raneday
        maybe it's a sign?
        Mar 31, 2019
      2. DocB
        DocB
        Let me guess, you dropped honey on the floor. The question is
        Do you want bees? Because that's how you get bees
        Mar 31, 2019
      3. akki
        akki
        @Raneday sign of what?

        @DocB nope there’s no dropped bees. We were making pakoras and the bee just kept coming. It happened over the time of around 3 hours~
        Mar 31, 2019
    11. akki
      akki
      I’m using a text to speech app and it read the word hmph as the letters h m p h. That cracked me up~
      1. Indiboy
        Indiboy
        I use moon-reader
        I just added a replacement in setting to speak it as humph
        So it now says humphre for me
        Better than h m p h
        May 31, 2019
    12. akki
      akki
      Damn this pumpkin curry is too sweet!
      1. Potatoes likes this.
      2. Potatoes
        Potatoes
        Never had pumpkin curry.
        Mar 27, 2019
    13. akki
      akki
      Woman indicates left and then she goes right. Was she trying to lose a tail?
      1. Lovely likes this.
      2. HavekZero
        HavekZero
        I was so sure this was gonna be a female drivers joke.
        Mar 26, 2019
      3. akki
        akki
        I’m smart enough to know not to post that~
        Mar 26, 2019
      4. Milanin
        Milanin
        Maybe it's like the guerilla tactics where you say left wing forward and they all march right.
        Mar 27, 2019
    14. akki
      akki
      A pigeon almost flew into a woman’s face. Not gna lie it was kinda funny~
      1. Lovely and Effugium like this.
      2. 911
        911
        Hehehehe
        Mar 26, 2019
      3. Ddraig
        Ddraig
        He must have been practicing dive bombing
        Mar 26, 2019
      4. akki
        akki
        Actually it was the opposite.

        Innocent bird was minding its own business looking around for food. Suddenly it finds itself surrounded by humans. Shit! What should it do? Wait, is that an opening? Quick fly, fly, fly!
        Woman why are you blocking my way? Shoo shoo~ and then freedom!
        Mar 26, 2019
    15. Twilight Fox
      Twilight Fox
      Fun Fact: You stopped doing fun fact profile posts...
      1. akki
        akki
        Deleted the app so got no more facts to post~
        Mar 26, 2019
      2. Twilight Fox
        Twilight Fox
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        F
        Mar 26, 2019
    16. akki
      akki
      When the host asks what will you do with the prize money, just once I’d like someone to say I’m going to invest it instead of go on holiday~
      1. AMissingLinguist likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Bakaturq
        Bakaturq
        I think they do want to invest it. But if they say it on television, investing consultants will start swarming in like bees if they win
        Mar 24, 2019
      4. Cascadian Rex
        Cascadian Rex
        Mar 24, 2019
      5. akki
        akki
        Some guy was playing for £10k and he was really excited to mention that he’ll definitely have a party. He had a nasty cheesy grin on his face as well. I had the urge to punch his face~
        Mar 24, 2019
    17. akki
      akki
      Absolute choice is back? Not sure if I’m happy about that or not..
      1. AMissingLinguist likes this.
      2. Ophious
        Ophious
        I couldn't get past the prologue, too chuuni for me
        Mar 23, 2019
      3. akki
        akki
        The chuuni is over the top. I don’t think I’ll carry on reading this novel~
        Mar 25, 2019
    18. akki
      akki
      Gahhhh!!! Shaving is so annoying when you have a spot on your face!
      1. BookDevourer likes this.
      2. Deleted member 97520
        Deleted member 97520
        Spot? Like... a... those beauty mark thingies? Black dots?
        Mar 22, 2019
    19. akki
      akki
      I don’t see a guy for almost 10 years but then bump into him twice within a week....wtf! Is he stalking me?
      1. 911, GonZ555 and Effugium like this.
      2. 911
        911
        Need help?
        Mar 21, 2019
      3. GonZ555
        GonZ555
        Guy: "It's a fateful meeting!"
        Mar 21, 2019
        Nyann likes this.
    20. akki
      akki
      I wish I had my own personal cloud which would float above my head and provide me shade as I walk around outside~
      1. Effugium likes this.
      2. Ddraig
        Ddraig
        well I will store data on it...
        Mar 20, 2019
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Home Page:
    http://forum.novelupdates.com/blogs/author/akki.8743
    Location:
    Boat Riding Through The Fjord On The 474th Floor
    Occupation:
    [ѕтαℓкιηﻭ вℓα¢ккηιﻭнтﻭσ∂չιℓℓα] [αιιєє'ѕ ѕтαя]
    <Akki>
    Akki is a present
    A wonderful person
    Especially to his sisters
    But no one will be bitter
    Cause he's charming like a magnet
    But acts like our very own mascot
    – Pyoo

    [Current Death Count: +371]​

    Signature

    How to kill boredom
    I have tried to answer this question in the past.
    I went on a long journey searching high and low for the answer.
    In the end I came across an old wise man who said he had the answer.
    He had me training day and night, running for miles, lifting heavy weights etc.
    I had no idea why I was training but I decided to put my faith in him.
    Eventually I became really strong, my training was over.
    Finally I asked him why he had me train, how did it help in killing boredom.
    ‘Boredom’, he said. ‘I thought you wanted to kill Bormann’.
    What! I shouted. Wtf is a Bormann?
    ‘Martin Bormann’, he said, ‘He was a Nazi.
    Huh! A Nazi? You had me training to kill a dead Nazi. Wtf is wrong with you?
    In a fit of anger I killed the old man. Thus I began the search once more.
    A search for how to kill boredom….
    Finding boredom
    So killing boredom ended in failure.
    But I trained, got strong, buff if you will.
    Scratch that, buff is a terrible word to use. Forget I even said it.
    But hey, I’m now strong enough to kill boredom when I find it.
    Hmm is boredom an ‘it’? Could it not be a ‘he’ or ‘she’?
    Well I just complicated this for myself now didn’t I?
    Is boredom an intangible thing or is it a flesh and blood thing?
    How does one find out, where does one look?
    When in doubt, Google it. That’s what they say.
    Now don’t ask me who they are, this is complicated enough as it is.
    So where were we, ah that’s right Google. Searching, searching, searching….
    The results…what? You’ve got access to the internet, search for it yourself.
    30,200,000 hits, I don’t have time for this. How do I simplify things?
    Hmm maybe I’ll try researching in the library…..
    Researching Boredom
    I’ve arrived at the library….man I've not been here in years.
    Now where should I start? Asking for help might not be a good idea…
    …’Excuse me, got any books on boredom?’ Sounds stupid right!?
    I’ll just browse around for now; I might get lucky.
    Let’s see, kids, fiction, non-fiction, photography, biscuits, sciences, history, I.T.
    Eh!!! Did I see that right! Yeah…t-that really is an entire section on biscuits…
    It’s not even cook books with recipes. It’s literally hundreds of books about biscuits.
    Wtf is going on? This library, why does- no I’m getting distracted.
    I shouldn’t forget my purpose here. Let’s sear- oops crap!
    ‘I’m sorry; I wasn’t looking where I was going. Let me get that for you.’
    Looking at what fell it's a book, well duh, but why does it look so strange?
    Excuse me miss here's yo- woah a jade like beauty......Why did I say that? I'm losing it haha...
    Here~ huh she gone. Hey you forgot your book, this erm ehhh- Boredom Sect ~ NUF....how..?
    I'm so confused. I need to investigate this...
    Investigating Boredom
    This book, it's old, too old, ragged too. Looks kinda outta place here me thinks.
    And these words~ what is this feeling I get when my eyes brush past them?
    What is NUF? National something? United? Foundation?
    When in doubt, Google it. That’s what they say. I said that last time right?
    Okay let's see; don’t let me down Google sensei~ N U F – search...
    And the top result is: Norskregistrert utenlandsk foretak. Erm I don’t think that’s it.
    Oh wait idiot, forgot the key part. N U F Boredom Sect – search…
    This result looks promising: Discussion - NUF Sects | Novel Updates Forum.
    Hmm it’s missing the word boredom……meh! *click*
    Would you like to see a NUF Sect go against another NUF Sect? (For Fun and for Laughs)
    Eh~ friendly sect wars? And 78.8 % say yes. What have I stumbled on to?
    Forever Alone Sect, Cat Sect, Sectless Sect, Chocolate Sect, Chaos Sect…
    Am I in the wrong place? Where’s the Boredom Sect? How do I find it?
    Maybe I should join NUF…
    "That sound in your heart, what is it?" – Sylar
    Don’t text and drive!
    [Current Death Count: +371]
    Glossary Of Terms
    FAQ
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