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Bored Interloper


Intact but Tactless, from Yes

hillo315 was last seen:
Jan 16, 2019 at 6:22 AM
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    Bored Interloper


    Wonder if we get to see Tendou try and peek into talosheim again. Now with 100 percent more primary colors. -FussyBadger

    And why stop at one planet sized Vidal sphere when you can have an armarda of them. Blood for the blood God, Milk for the Korne flakes, assimilate to the Vidal empire! -jubjub3000

    Blood for the blood God, milk for the khorne flakes and a sacrificial mercenary for the audience. -jubjub3000

    It would surprise me a bit if he realized it was all a big trap to distract him and the DK was not actually attacking him, but the others. What I have read does not make me think he was introspective or tactical enough to think beyond "DK over there, me go kill." when there was a battle on the go. -sjmcc13

    Basically, the Quatro willed itself to fly. (apparently, that kinda stuff actually works when Van's involved.) -jemini

    I should clarify, since the discussion seems to be going on based on this earlier comment by me. I said that there should be absolutely no "tainted mana" ON THE MOON. -jemini

    damn, van is the godliest (demi)god that ever did god -jubjub3000

    Fun random thought: the author / Van should totally parody Macross and have Kanako as an idol who sings in the middle of battle :blobpopcorn_cool::blobpopcorn_cool::blobpopcorn_cool: -kari-no-sugata

    Psychological warfare FTW -kari-no-sugata

    Because nothing says overkill like summoning an eldritch god to kill you. -LokiTheAccursed

    "What if Jesus was an overprotective nanny Outer God?" -Mesaphrom

    "Eathing you enemies souls... and apparently de-aging all the best chiefs in the world back to their physical peak, for the low price of 1 meal."
    We all know Van would multitask and probably end a couple famine's and cure some epidemics while he was over there. -sjmcc13

    Van: You give me recipes, I'll turn your age to the prime of your life. Deal? -LokiTheAccursed

    Let's be honest here, we poke and drug everything just to see what happens. -jubjub3000

    If van is tzeentch then is "the evil God of joyful life" Slaanesh?
    And if that's so, then is guduranis the equivalent of khorne?
    So that means bellwood is nurgle? -jubjub3000

    I’ll make you regret aggravating the goddess of water! I’ll curse you, your toilet won’t flush and your warm bath water will turn cold! -jubjub3000

    *Trying to remember what I did 4-5 months ago*

    ! I wrote that! Senpai noticed ME! -Mesaphrom

    Being Fidirg is suffering. -heiro001

    But at least he died doing what he loved, eating stew. -jubjub3000

    Knowing what I know now, jemini may just use an angry glare as weapon, drop them and use them as gauntlets.:blobexpressionless: -Mesaphrom


    Ok this conversation was basically two people bad at explaining things trying to explain things to each other anyway. -jubjub3000
    This demands a fanfic. -hillo315, whenever presented a non-canon situation so entertaining that opportunistic fanfiction writers ought to document it

    Literally eating your problems is so quintessentially Van. :blobrofl: -hillo315

    How dragons and dhampirs normally have children is irrelevant, because according to the narrator, fertility goddesses can procreate however the actual fuck they want. :blobamused: -hillo315

    I agree that Tiamat handled her selfish desires very well. Let's take a closer look at her rational mind at work.
    1. Let the prepubescent dhampir impregnate you.
    2. ???
    3. Profit.

    #SealVidaWithSteak -hillo315

    "Praise be to thee, Truck-sama. May you run us over with thy hallowed wheels, and knock us out of this world with thy finely polished bumper. Blessed be the unwitting driver who carries out thy will. Roadkill for the reincarnation gods, spare parts for the repair shop. One Truck to kill them all and in new worlds rebirth them." -hillo315

    When gods become more powerful by granting each other powers. :blobpopcorn_cool: -hillo315

    Thus begins a truly epic tale of killing gods, impregnating dragons, selling good food, discovering the secrets of life and immortality, and just sticking out like a sore thumb in general. -hillo315

    "You thought it was the Eighth Guidance, but it was me! D-01!" -hillo315

    *evil cackling* SPREAD, MY MEMES. SPREAD! :blobowoevil::blobjoy::blobhug::blobpopcorn_cool::blobmelt: -hillo315, referring to this meme

    Sure, unleash your inner ham on the insignificant fly.

    "Begone, minor pest! What evolution hath granted you, mine death laser taketh away!"

    The best solution for first world problems. -hillo315

    "What if Jesus was an Outer God?" :hmm: -hillo315

    How large is the deadly baby? I must know. -hillo315

    Do you know what's more dangerous than jemini? Drones. Drones trump all. :blobowoevil: -hillo315

    Remember, kids: If you are a god, you should not listen to your isekai fantasy nerd siblings. They will drag in champions from other worlds and ruin your life. -hillo315

    Like what? I have nothing to add that I feel would look good on a thread. For you see, I am currently thinking about porn. -hillo315

    *pew pew pew* Wheeeeeeee... -hillo315
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    "Hey, so, Hiro, can We call you Hiro? Anyway, see that giant sword-wielding-tentacle-scepter-monstrocity who politely introduced himself as Vandalieu Zakkart? Yeah, well, that's your daughter's friends's dad? Wait, is it dad? Creator? Main body? Doesn't matter, what matters is that he is currently nom noming everyone involved into Death Attrobute research. And is your fault."


    "Well, technically it is Rodiot's fault, but you are closer. And involved. And it was your job to catch them."

    "Hey now, look at the bright side!"


    "No, Zuruwarn is right. Just look at your daugther! She looks like she is having the time of her life!"

    "Ooooooh! Look Banda, bi' bro! Is Bi' Banda!" -Mesaphrom

    The sky darkens, ominous clouds converge into an otherworldy portal into the stars, every sentient being looked at it praying to an unresposive god for salvation until a sky splitting roar was heard around the world.

    It was a creature of myth.

    The emperor of the skies.

    The strongest being.

    It was a dragon.

    And it looked furious.

    Why was such a being here? How could something like that even exist? All of that didn't matter. They have to escape, somthing like that couldn't be fought. The have to find a way to-

    "Ahem, test, test! Can you hear me?"

    A child?

    "Bocchan, I think they can hear you, look, they stopped running!"

    Was that a child and a woman just now?

    "Ah, you are right. Then, my name is Vandalieu Zakkart and I am her Me-kun, if you get in the way you die. That's all!"



    "That was splendid, Bocchan! But this child's yawn are really loud, aren't they?"

    "Let him be, he is just waking up from his nap"

    "Danna-sama, the voice amplifier"

    "Um? Oh, right"




    *Avalon watches the news*

    *turns television off and walks to bedroom to change trousers*

    *Amemiya Household*

    *Hiroto and Narumi watches the news*

    "Hey Narumi, can I see Mei's picture and also bring Mei here for a second."
    -Reman Scimitar

    Mei: *points at television* "Banda! Banda!" :blobReach:
    Narumi: *swallows terror* "That's no panda, silly!" :sweating_profusely:
    Hiroto: *is worried but rational* "Why do I feel like I've seen that somewhere? What the everloving shit is this? What am I even supposed to do in this situation?"
    Avalon: *is fucked* "AW HELL NO" :blobfearful:
    Mei: *excited* "Banda come to play! Banzai!" -hillo315
    Completely different subject but I had a flash of inspiration. Van plans to go to the special adventurer training school at the center of the Orbaume Kingdom. For him it's probably more of a personal goal rather than a practical goal. Eg to have some happy school days rather than what he experienced back on Earth.

    Normally you'd expect everyone there to be strangers but I bet that if Van goes it'll turn out Selen goes too (perhaps a coincidence, perhaps not). She's pretty much the same age (slightly younger I believe) and the "daughter" of a famous adventurer and (like Van) an honorary noble dhampir. So if one can go then they both should be able to go. -kari-no-sugata

    Heinz and co have been in that dungeon for about 2 years now. While they're near the end, because a bunch of levels were destroyed by Van, that also means that they couldn't progress smoothly because the gap between their current power and their opponents is too big. In other words, normally it would have taken them far longer to get to the point they are at now and they would have been much stronger by that time - the fight with Van happened when they were about half-way through. So Heinz and co are likely to stuck in there for a lot longer... I think. Long story short, I wouldn't necessarily assume that Heinz is going to have any input on what happens to Selen in the next year or so. Even if he does it might not matter.

    Regarding Selen and this special adventurer school - I think it's likely that Selen would want to go. We've already seen that while she is sheltered and naive she is willing to be pro-active (eg contacting Van). Given what happened to her and given that she idealises Heinz, it's quite likely that she would want to do her bit - that she doesn't simply want to sit at home and do nothing. Note - this is independent of what Van would be doing.

    So, would her current guardians be willing to allow her to go? I think it's quite reasonable. It should be a safe area in general - safer than where she currently is. The only real danger from their point of view would be Alda extremists, same as now. It would probably be safer in general apart from the fact that some pupils might be a danger to her, but they shouldn't be too much of a threat. The current adventurers who are protecting her could join the school as combat instructors, for example, which would make it easier for them to protect her against other students if required. In other words, it shouldn't be obviously dangerous for Selen to attend. I'd also suggest that any rational adult should be supportive of this - it would be bad to keep Selen wrapped in cotton wool and even if she doesn't become an adventurer, combat training would at least serve as self-defence. It would be good for Selen to interact with other children as well. In short, you'd need a really compelling reason (I believe) to stop Selen from going if she wanted to and those around her might even encourage her to apply in the first place.

    Regarding Selen and Van both attending: I'd say this is likely to be an unexpected for both - they might not even find out until they start attending, or only just before. I think this is reasonable because this is not some hick school that you can simply turn up and join. It's the number one adventurer school for the entire Orbaume Kingdom. It's for children of nobles who are "spare" (ie 3rd in line or more), children of important adventurers or people born with special skills. It's very high grade and expensive - they even have A rank adventurers there as teachers. In other words, while it is technically an adventurers school (and the contents are pretty much the same) it's basically a luxurious adventurers school. This should also make it expensive and complex to join - you'd need a full background check and also probably prove you can pay. It's also possible that the school only accepts new entrants at particular times of the year, so that everyone is on a similar skill level in their year/grade. In other words, based on these reasonable expectations, it wouldn't be that big a coincidence if Van and Selen happen to apply to join the same school year and start attending the school at the same time. -kari-no-sugata

    Why do I get the feeling that Van is going to see a Vida-race member getting bullied by anti-monster noble students, proceed to "naturally" save said member, only to have this be Van's and Selen's first encounter? -Isekai07

    They could be in the same dorm but be sent to rooms according to sex. That would be the scenario most primed for Van and Selen winding up in the same room should Van be mistaken for female by the school administrators. Van may even assume it's normal based on @Nakakure's reasoning.

    EDIT: :blobthinkingsmirk: I just thought up the much better scenario for how this situation could come about. Maybe the priest watching over Selen, the member of the Faron nobelty who wanted to do something to intervine in the rising Vida fundamentalism due to Darcia, might have actually pulled some strings in order to make them have the same room together. And from there, even apply pressures to maintain this state.

    At least until he realizes that instead of Selen leading him to the unification party, he's leading Selen to the Vida fundamentalist party. Then he'll start despirately trying to reverse course too little too late. -jemini

    Alda is going to come up with a plan to stop vans "plan", just for it to give van a reason to take over the school. :blobpopcorn::blobpopcorn::blobpopcorn: -anteopta
    Random Human General: The Demon King Army is nothing to be fear! Humanity have always fought those stronger than us and our united might have seen their defeat time and time again! Go, brave warriors, let's become humanities Champions!
    *Meanwhile in the Vidal Army's camp*
    Vidal Soldier A: So, what do you see?
    Vidal Soldier B: New recruits.
    Vidal Soldier A: How kind of them.

    Random Alda God: Lord Alda, what shoud we do?
    Alda: We will follow my flawless plan.
    Van: Well, that was easier than usual.
    Borkus: What kind of idiot attack so directly? Even the ones hiding started screaming "For Alda" at the top of their lungs, have their never heard what an ambush is like?
    Jack: Hitomi-chan, who was that Leroy person some were screaming about?
    Hitomi: An idiot warrior who runed to his and his companions dead out of stupidity.
    Van: I see, that explain a lot... -Mesaphrom

    Alda: "NANI?! Very well. Bring out the slightly stronger small fry!"
    Few Reasonable Gods: "Lord Alda, isn't that just providing the enemy free food and experi-"
    Yes-Men: "HERESY!!"
    Alda: "Ah, I almost forgot! Does anyone see any problems with my flawless plan?"
    Few Reasonable Gods: "Y-"
    Yes-Men: "NO."
    Alda: "Good. There are no problems. This can only end well. Onwards!" *raises steak of law*
    Few Reasonable Gods: "Lord Al-"
    Yes-Men: *raise various divine meats* "FOR VICTORY!!" -hillo315
    Alda: "Stop in the name of the law!"
    Vida: "I didn't do anything wrong!"
    Alda: *produces own doctrine and points to a passage* "By the book."
    Vida: *squints for a closer look* "We already agreed not to use those laws."
    Alda: "A likely story." *produces steak* -hillo315
    Record High Number of Unread Alerts at Once: 18
    Favorite Numbers: 0, 5, 7, 108, 691'
    Favorite Terms: "Subterminal", "Imago", "As above, so below", "Mise en abyme", "Pataphysics", "Crepuscule", "Anafabula", "Metavore", "Phistiphage", "Sic transit gloria mundi", "Sic transit mundus", "Ontological threat", "Ontokinetic", "Orthogonality", "Antigonish", "Stigmata", "Senescence", "L'esprit de l'escalier", "Eschaton", "Gestalt", "Ectoentropic", "Endoentropic"