Request Shameless Plea For Assistance

I am willing to finish it. If there's support, and I'm able to write.

I pumped out 72 pages in two days as proof of my dedication?

I can't promise to finish it.

Everything in the disclaimer is true, but it's complicated.

 

How about you read those novels in your To read list first...

Maybe they'll give you some inspiration and motivation lol
Also, considering You've made so many thread requesting for recommendations not too long ago... so yeah try to finish that first.

 

It's 72 pages. I'm looking for reader input into making the story as good as possible.

If people aren't interested, I may just develop the story in my head for my own enjoyment.

 

Why are you posting drafts?!


Edit: and your disclaimer really did scare me away.

 

I read and follow very few novels on rrl, because I only give a chance to novels that already have quite a few chapters (at least 30), and have been updated frequently for the last 2 months. After reading the synopsis, the next task on my list is to check up the number of chapters, pages and frequency of release. With that said, I'll wait a few months to see if you still will be writing, and then maybe I'll read your novel. Good luck, though. I wish you best.

 

I care about this story. Really really care about it.

The disclaimer is accurate, but I guess I'm weird.

I'm willing and ready to commit to the story and grant it an end. I'm just not promising.

Also I never planned this story, so I had no idea I'll end up loving it.

This story is basically me picking everything I've ever wanted from my recent threads, and deciding "Fuck it. I'll write it myself".

I'm planning the story currently.

I think I'll remove the disclaimer, I feel like I'll be lying though.

 

The story is unplanned. I may end up shooting myself in the foot, and will be editing the chapters to resolve any plot holes.

 

It was good until you started getting political.

 

I'll think of it.

The premise is the MC is one of the players, who lost the first round of the game.

The game is "World Domination"

The players are those who seek to rule the world.

The board is the world.

By chapter 1, I wanted to have the MC getting ready and preparing the board.

How would you suggest I should have done it.

 

Explain?

Politics is going to have to be a major part of it.

The story is round 2 of "The Game".

"The Game" is world domination, and the MC is one of the players.

 

flame it even? I will flame you when I read it tomorrow! and then I will read dungeon defense too ah
I will read yours first kek, you learnt from dungeon defense right? I meant their mc.

 

Yes. MC borrows a few things from Dantalian, but also closely reflects me. Rather, the MC is who I'd want to be, or something like that.

 

you write very cleanly and a lot, that's a good point, I will probably flame you for the content later on though muhahaha >:3

 

When you kill off countries leaders most authors don't name them or they make them up. When they do use a leader's real name people tend to think that is the author's personal political bias is the sole purpose for those events. A lot of people read fantasy and sci-fi to escape from reality, throwing in real life politics ruins a lot of that.

You do have great vocabulary in the story. The saying "adding fuel to the generator", I think should be "adding fuel to the fire".

EDIT: Need to go will post more later.

 

I meant "reactor" xD. Adding fuel to the nuclear reactor.

The protagonist is not normal, he'd never use an expression as mundane as "adding fuel to the fire", when a much better one exists.

 

If you need an audience as motivation to write, then probably don't really need to be doing so. When I write, I write for myself, because I want to. If that isn't your motivation, then there is no need for you to do anything.

That may sound harsh, but if you can't take at least that level of criticism and keep going you have no place in the online writing community, or any kind of publication. You will receive feedback, and thus you will receive negative feedback. If you are so desperate that you need audience support to motivate yourself then you will also be so vulnerable as to collapse mentally and emotionally when that feedback is harsh, unreasonable, and sometimes even cruel.

You are writing a political story. Many will not read it. Many who read it will disagree. Many who agree will hate your presentation or writing style, and will ask that you correct them to better fit their own beliefs in ways that may be polite, and may not. The very few who read it, like it, and appreciate it will not speak much, if at all.

So motivate yourself. No one else can do it for you.

 

Well then, I'll have a look. Btw, a ToC helps. Consider making one.

 

I'm willing to accept criticisms, flaming, etc. I'm just being crushed by silence.

I write a lot; in my head.

I haven't put one of my stories to paper in a long time, so I lack confidence.

Whether I get support or not, the story will meet an ending; in my head.

I'm a noob author, so I need an audience as motivation to put the story to paper, not as motivation to develop it.

 

Well, checked out the prologue on my laptop and was put off by the super long paragraphs. If reading on a smaller screen it would be a huge wall of text.

Also it is kind of overly verbose.

15 sentences total.

You use 4 sentences to say that Liz is competent. Then 5 to say her flaw is her flightiness. Then 5 to say that the MC is good but needs to get stronger. The only sentence in that paragraph which is not superfluous in one way or another is the last 1.

 

The prologue is narrated by the MC. I was writing from the perspective of the MC. How he thinks about the world. It's important characterisation?

They're still drafts, but I can't imagine the MC just going straight to the point; I need to get stronger.

Circumlocution, verbosity, Garrulousness and Loquacity is his style.

He likes things grandiose. This is someone who desires the world.

Your point is noted though. I'll edit, and see if I can split paragraphs. I won't remove the MC's description of Liz; it's quite important.

If it was from a third person point of view, I may be able to do more, but I'm going with a multiple first person POV.