Can friendship exist between love interests?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Slaynbr, Mar 22, 2017.

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Can there be friendship between former love interest?

  1. Yes

    26 vote(s)
    32.9%
  2. No

    5 vote(s)
    6.3%
  3. Maybe, depend of each case

    48 vote(s)
    60.8%
  1. Slaynbr

    Slaynbr {Scholar} Asylum's Oji-chan |StormBringer| Ossan

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    My first love is also my oldest friend (know her since I was 7 yo, and still have contact with her) and she is my best friend (share all the grievances, hard times and good times).
    Although I say she is my first love, I was a kid at the time, and after we grew up we knew each other too well to know we were great friends, but not lovers material.
    My friends and parents think it's bullshit and I'm kidding myself in believe it.
    I really don't see her in a "love light" anymore, and I'm ok.
    Now, she got married, and I'm going to meet the her bf as in the condition of husband for the first time - no, its not that I wasn't invited to the wedding, she didn't make one, they just went and sign the papers, no party, nothing.
    So, what do you think? Can there be friendship between former love interests? Or once a love, always a love?
    Am I crazy, or my family and friends are wrong?
     
  2. mmsupreme

    mmsupreme How do I change my custom title?

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    Considering divorce rates it's fair to remain her friend. Also if you have a gf it gets less awkward
     
  3. DocB

    DocB "I see you, little mouse! Run along"

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    you care so much about this that you posted this on a novel forum.
    you could t make only the pool but instead you made me read all your history and thought process

    Conclusion: you know your answer
     
  4. DesuDiem

    DesuDiem Surviving College

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  5. Dosudro

    Dosudro Well-Known Member

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    Case by case. Some people are mature enough to handle that kind of platonic relationship, others aren't.
     
  6. Basara

    Basara [Cat and co.] [Nyan] [Furry and Fluffy]

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    Yea you can be friends. Just that it's normally difficult to be friends after the love part. But since it was when you were young there is not much to worry about.
     
  7. koijido

    koijido Well-Known Member

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    No you're right my first girlfriend is still a very good friend of mine. Her niece is even my god daughter we hang out alot we have a good friendship. However, in my case her grandfather made us agree to get married if we turn 28 and neither of us are married to someone, but I'm sure i'll be dead by 28 so friendsies for life.
     
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  8. Deleted member 36162

    Deleted member 36162 Guest

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    Oh ! That hurts.
    YOU GOT NTR'ED.
     
  9. Greedyspree

    Greedyspree 『Exile within the back room』

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    It honestly depends on the person and their lifestyle. When one is lonely, or has the mental dependence upon attention and love, then is near impossible. Because when they think of the other, the first thoughts in mind will be the past relationship, and the bittersweet pain that follows the rough memories. If one is truly mentally balanced, then its possible, especially in the current society we have, which is more free when it comes to relationships and sexual interactions. All in all it really depends on the person and their experiences, but in most cases Its truly hard.
     
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  10. Deleted member 36162

    Deleted member 36162 Guest

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    Explode and die RAIJOU !!
     
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  11. Slaynbr

    Slaynbr {Scholar} Asylum's Oji-chan |StormBringer| Ossan

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    well, after people grind your gears all day long about it, day after day, anyone wavers hahaha. I know that I like her, really do. We have 24 years of history together, it's hard to imagine my life without her after so much time. Even so, but I don't see me dating her.
    And why I posted her, is because I know the opinion of my friends and all, but here no one knows me personally, so I believe the opinion will me impartial to my case.
     
  12. Greedyspree

    Greedyspree 『Exile within the back room』

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    Youll know quite clearly when you see her and her husband. If your chest feels the pain, then you feel more then you wish to admit. If you dont, then you atleast know you can be friends without the blurred line..probably, time changes many things.
     
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  13. Quillink

    Quillink Well-Known Member

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    Some of my closest friends are people I loved fiercely as I "matured" into an adult. However people who have had feelings for me, or people I had feelings for, I've bonded to because they are worth holding close, even if there is no romance between us. I love them still, but more like family than an interest.

    I'm not really friends with my exes, most of us parted on bad terms, or the fallout after broke up became bad terms. However I know people that are, and I suppose it all comes down to how you broke up.
     
  14. Slaynbr

    Slaynbr {Scholar} Asylum's Oji-chan |StormBringer| Ossan

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    I know the guy, it's really a good guy. When she asked me my thoughts in the marriage I gave the ok. Don't see my opinion or feelings changing because of a signature in a paper and a change in her name...
     
  15. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    There are examples where this scenario exists, so the answer is yes
     
  16. Greedyspree

    Greedyspree 『Exile within the back room』

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    Emotional, doesnt have mental associations. Even if it shouldnt bother you, it still can, emotions tend to never follow good logic. Though its a bit surprising she asked you about your thoughts. Might not end up being your problem, but hers.
     
  17. deepon

    deepon One who inevitably awakens

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    Welcome to Valhalla, gathering of heroes who fell in the battlefield of friendzone !
    The way you describe your relation was how married couples describe their's after decades of a successful marriage. That's because they are best friends.
    You can stay friends with her so long you can figure out the distance to keep in between. If you stay too close, the bf will feel annoyed, if you stay farther then needed, you will slowly drift away. Of course if the bf is a good guy, really loves your friend and understands your friendship with her, then he might become the anchor for your relation.
    Good luck !
     
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  18. Ophious

    Ophious Pathfinder kinda fun

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    There can be friendship between former lovers, to some it's actually much easier being friends than lovers while to others they still might find it awkward to be around each other so it does depend on the circumstances surrounding you and your love interest
    also congrats for your friends marriage
     
  19. Slaynbr

    Slaynbr {Scholar} Asylum's Oji-chan |StormBringer| Ossan

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    Understood. But I don't think there's much into the fact she talked to me. As I said, we know each other for 24 years, we saw each other start dating and breaking up, and we were there to gather the pieces after. I would think it's strange if she didn't say anything... But you're right emotional end logic rarely walk hand in hand. Well, Friday I'm going to lunch with them, lets see then.
    that's the good thing. We live in different towns . We talk in the fone now and then, and we see each other every 3~4 months. But that's it. Of he get jealous of this much hahaha then it's really strange..
     
  20. Contrast

    Contrast Tactical Espionage Expert

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    The opposite hold true.
    To immature to have multiple desirable partners.
     
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