Hey guys! So, a few months ago I got bored. I tried to create a story, but apparently, my grammar is so bad that I can't even read it(I deleted it cause I feel so bad). So hopefully you guys can read this short story. Spoiler: The end The full moon hanging silently above the earth. Cold wind humming, making an intense atmosphere. That robe swayed by the wind, dark green colour, standing above the hill. Illuminated by the moon's light, a young man seen in that hill. Long black coloured hairs moving wildly just like his robe, a dignified eyes looking straight towards the moon. His pale thin lips pursed downwards. That young man on the hill moved his legs towards under him. Step by step he descended. The noiseless night interrupted by sounds of clicking from a sword that strapped on that young man's waist. He didn't try to restraint it's noise... as if he want to make the whole world know that he was here. He moved his eyes towards under him, a desolate, empty plain as far as he can see. When he reached the plain, he can already hear the cicadas singing, creating a heavier atmosphere. "I know you are here." That young man opened his mouth, his eyes were still looking at the desolate plain. The grasses that reached up to his waist rustled, there was no answer for that young man's words. That young man still standing, waiting for something. The bright night suddenly dimmed, clouds came, covered the moonlight. There is a spot in the plain that still brightened by the moonlight, the supposedly empty place suddenly had a presence. A teenage, having a weird horn on his forehead, grinned towards that young man. His body that standing beneath the moonlight shining alone in the plain, his eyes that looking towards that young man contained ridicules. "Is this the so called fate?" Hearing that young man remark, that teenage just grinned more towards him. "Who knows?" "Shut up!" The quiet palace suddenly clamored by someone's shout. The always silent palace that even a baby won't dare to cry inside it suddenly become noisy. A teenage, having a weird horn on his forehead snarled angrily towards a young woman. "Oh my, too much for a crown prince isn't it? She didn't bother about his temper, in fact, she want to make him more angry. Having a beauty that can topple a kingdom, she is a princess, but when she saw a crown prince of the beastmen kingdom coming here everyday just for fun, she was annoyed. No one would not know the crown prince, as he already opened his soul palace when he still eight years old, he is fated to be famous in the whole continent. But she is a princess of the human race, she wouldn't be scared of him just because of his talent, so she insulted his big brother... in front of him. "What the fuck! Do you want to die?!" "It is true though, your brother are a traitor, that's why he deserved to die." With a glint of laughter on her eyes, she continued her derision. His brother are supposedly the real crown prince, but he died when he tried to defend a city. Then there is this woman that issuing salts upon his wound. When the evening come, he saw the charging horsemen, clouds of dust created by them as the ground trembled by their step. No one know how the demons can come here, there are a hundred miles of distance from this city and the demon's kingdom, and this city aren't even on the border. He know that this city can't even resist their attacks, if he didn't help them, this city will be ravaged, leaving only corpses and bloods. He didn't hesitate to defend this city. He walked towards the already aged city gate, he waited for them to come here. He didn't try to know why the demons only send this much, but he know even with this much demons can bring a destruction. The cultivators joined him, they are waiting side by side behind the city gate. Everyone know that they will be killed when the demons attacked. They're not like the soldier in the frontline, constantly fighting the demons, no, they're just an old man enjoying their remaining life, hot-blooded youth with a sense of justice, a random cultivator that just arrived to this city. "Ai! You should run crown prince." An elderly man persuaded the crown prince, even though he is already old, he still have a firm body, standing straight with the ground. The crown prince just gave a bitter smile and ignored that old man words, he just staying silently in there. That old man sighed, he moved his sight towards the gate. The bustling crowd already gone, and the city gate are closed now, but they know just only a gate wouldn't hold them back. The city gate trembled, a sounds of beating come from the outside. There is a shouting heard, they know that the demons are already outside of the gate. The old man looked behind him, his eyes are headed towards the city guards, nervous are plastered upon their face. He signaled them. The city guards know what he meant, with an orderly fashion, they organized themself in front of the gate with a formation. The city become silent again. The demons already stopped their banging, but the humans are still nervous, they felt that if they're relaxed, death will be upon them. A banging sounds heard again, the city gate are already broken, it was destroyed by something as it falling loudly. A giant came forwards, having two horns on it's head, that giant brought upon a fear with it's five meter tall body, using his club on it's hand, that giant rushed towards them as it begin it's massacre. The moon are already risen, the horizon become dark. The crown prince roared as he transformed, becoming a wolf. He jumped straight towards the giant's head, defending this city from the demons army. "Hah, falling in love with a demon princess, what do you expect from that? You beastkin even hide her." She still mocked his brother ending, even though her kingdom didn't help him, there is so many people defended the city, even one of the four gate sect on this capital joined. But what's the result? Death. No one can expects a demon king, the leader of the demon race to show up in there. "Maybe I should kill you..." He placed his right hand upon his sword, he looked towards the princess giving a devious smile. Seeing his presumptuous words, she felt that he is crazy, he dared to try to attack her on this place? "I can just say that you're trying to betray the humanity." Without waiting for her response, he just shrugged his shoulder as if this is just an ordinary thing. "Hmm... let's see, I'll just say that you're trying to kill me because you want to revenge for him." The more he talked, the more he felt that it is a good idea, even though he just said that because he was angry. "Yo-you! You know that he is a traitor! Why would I want to revenge you?!" "So what? My sister in-law betrayed the demon race just to be together with my big bro." He didn't listen to her words. He then narrated his brother story without caring about her presence. She felt crazy, why would she cares about that man story? She tried to shut him off but her voice got cutten up as his words become increasingly louder. In the end, he got bored and he leave the palace without minding her at all. "Damn, this is boring." The plain still feel desolate as they looked at each other, watching that teenage glowing under the moonlight, he felt that this is hilarious. "The first time I walked into the capital, I know that my enemy are not my talent, not the demons, not even my senior brother. It's fate, that's right, my enemy are you." Nonchalantly looking around himself, that teenage didn't care what he said. "Do you still remember when we killed that guy?" "Why are you still talking about it? Are you fighting with the princess again?" That teenage suprised by his words. How can he know that? Did he just search my memories? Damn, don't tell me he is a fortune teller... well, it's not my future though. "Why did I kill him? Why did he followed the demons? If he didn't tempted by them, he will already married that girl, then he'll become a king, then he can just preach about his crazy idea. With him and you, you guys can conquere all the lan- shit, thanks gods he become crazy." After spouting some nonsense, that teenage finally calmed down. "You know why we are here." That's young man spoke decisively so that he doesn't talk anymore. Hearing him said that, that teenage just laughed. "Then what are we waiting for?" That teenage suddenly growing fur on his body, he enlarged as he becoming a two meter tall werewolf. He howled towards the moon, then he smiled menacingly towards the young man. "Let's go." That young man expression turned serious, he unsheathed his sword as he rushed towards him. The lands become death as they walked together. A young boy with a horn on his forehead looked behind him. He saw only death, withered grasses, rotting trees, he saddened by what he saw as he holding his urges to cry. A young man in front of him just smiled, with a good-natured face he assured that boy that it is alright. "Why are you looking behind? Look forward." That little boy saw the scenery in front of him, he cried, a tears of joy, and he smiled. "Do you feel regret?" The clouds already covered the moon, the land increasingly become dark as they looked at each other. Having his sword drawn, that young man gazed at a teenage in front of him. Already reverted back to his normal body, he had a wound on his chest as it's blood poured out, his pale face making him somewhat pitiful. "Regret? Heh, it's been a long time I heard that word." That teenage just laughed, but he suddenly changed his face. "Damn, it's raining." Droplets of water starting to fall from the sky, he feel that the clouds are mocking him. "And why the hell are asking that? Do you think I'm going to die? And you are asking me for my last words? Heh." With a forced smile, he walked slowly, he crouched down and picked up a sword. He opened the sheath, a luxurious sword appeared. It look like just a decoration sword that you can find in someone's house. He pointed his sword towards the young man. "This isn't over yet." He rushed towards the young man, while he running, there is something glowing behind him. It's something like a word, floating and following him, it's glow making the gloomy rain at the midnight become illuminated. The word are indescribable, even though you can clearly see it, you can't understand it as it feel like some kind of fog blocking you. A sword appeared in front of that young man, an aura enveloped it's blade, he grabbed the sword and face the teenage. That teenage laughed when he saw him released that sword, and he ran faster. The word that floating behind that teenage changed, becoming a strand of line as it coating his sword. The young man stabbed his sword towards him. A streak of lightning emerged from that young man sword, that streak headed towards the teenage's sword. The word that enveloping his sword suddenly stopped moving as it making a sound like a broken glass. It condensed again but it really shattered, it become a broken pieces of golden glass as it scattered in the ground. "What the fuck?" Seeing it, that teenage left with a bewilderment and a wound. He coughed up a mouthful of blood, he glared at the indifferent young man in front of him. "Damn, I lose." That teenage become limp as he let his body fall to the ground. "Come here!" He struggling just to say that words, nevertheless, his carefree attitude are still in him, no matter if he he got hurts or not. When that young man approached him, that teenage just cringed his face. "I know that I once tell you this, but your face is simply annoying." There's nothing wrong with his face, but seeing him always making an indifferent expressions, he always make fun of his face everytime he see him, that young man didn't pay him any attention though. "You see, I don't have much time anymore." That teenage coughed up again, he tried hold it up, but reality answer it with other. He only coughed up more as he got stained by bloods on all over his body. "Damn, uh... this is gross." He lifted his head, he looked at his robe that become red because the blood. "I don't know who made this robe, but he or she must definitely a god." He still wondered why when he reverted back to his original body, his robe are still covering his body. He coughed more, his throat become hoarse from his coughs. In the end, he stopped his rambling. "Shit, you see, when I die I hope you stop this war. Bring equality, I know equality are impossible for each other race, at least their lives are equal." "And don't forget about her, sometimes she can do something stupid, wouldn't want it when she become an empress right? There is... I don't know, I forget about his name, but you must help me matching him up with her." "You did what?" "Uhh... well, he is a perfect husband for him, I don't want her to remember that guy forever, well, it's not like she still remember him." "You are going to die, so you just need to die. You don't need to worry about anything." Hearing him said that, that teenage coughed again. He looked at that young man with an speechless expression. Come on, I'm going to die here, yet you did this to me? With a sigh, that teenage shift his attention towards other. He felt that it's not good to chat with him for too long. He looked at his broken... he didn't give it a name, but anyway, at his side, he saw his broken... word? Fate? Soul weapon? I'll just name it Fate then. He mumbled under his breath as he decided it's name. Fate is the word that floated behind him, but it's already become a broken pieces of shining golden coloured glass. Every creatures have it, cultivators called it soul weapon. Nevertheless, for a normal person, they called it a fate. Not just everyone can summon it, even though they know they have it somewhere in their soul, they don't know how to take it out. That teenage are an anomaly... or just an unique person. He have a "Fate" as his fate. He imagined that the gods above the heaven just got lazy and they give him fate word as his soul weapon. Like he cares if he have a fate. Everything have a fate, you don't need to tell me that I have a fate too damn it. And somehow he can change it's form like a spiritual essence, but of course it still can't do anything. There is a guy... he still can't remember his name, but he is the one he tried to match him up with princess. A spiritual weapon, even though it's called weapon, it usually don't have any physical form. While that guy, having a spiritual weapon that can... he pity him, but atleast it's not as useless as his soul weapon. After a few seconds of thinking he feel that he got enlightened. "What if my fate is not... something good?" He looked at that young man. "What if my fate is to be killed by you?" He waited for that young man response, but he just looked at him uninterested. "I fucking hate you." He cursed at him. He should have known he will do that. In the end, he sighed and looked weakly towards that young man. "You see, I don't even know why we are fighting here. Is it really fate? Or I supposed to kill you but you really succeed changing your fate? Damn." Somehow, he want to die when the sunset happening. The clouds that covering the skies already dispersed. He looked at the shining moon that hanging above. He laughed for the last time.
Why was the first fuck censored, but not the second and the third? Was it in-universe? Did the character censor him/herself?
Too many grammar errors but the most prevalent one is the tenses. Stick with either present tense or past tense dammit.
Ask the Google for some simple grammar fixing app. If you try rely on others (always), then there wouldn't be any improvement for you. Oh, and Google play store got few apps as well ( extensions).
Yes, I created this story because I want to know how much I have been improving on my English... yeah. Q_Q And I had downloaded an apps in play store, just like you said, but I don't have the time to read it.
Its very vivid. I can tell that you imagining the scene when you write it out. Author's personalities show up, and most don't have all necessary skills to make a masterpiece. Some lean towards Concept, Planning, and control over minor details/continuity Others lean towards social interaction, personalities, and drama/demented political Some paint pictures of imagination onto paper. Your probably this last one. Regardless, discipline is what you need to go further. By re-reading and correcting your own mistakes, your skills as an author will become more and more polished. Example: This saying feels odd and breaks the flow of the story: The always silent palace that even a baby won't dare to cry inside it suddenly become noisy. Using this saying doesn't fit with the mood... Probably better to write how the soothing sound of nature was interrupted... Especially right after mentioning the cicadas. I wish more Xianxia took the time to craft and imagine a picture like you have, but sadly they need to produce volume.
Suddenly, princess! Did-did I just miss something here? But seriously, the whole scene transitions isn't handled well. You could just put something to separate each scene so it won't become confusing. Also, having names for your characters would be better than calling it teenager with weird horn. "Ai! You should run crown prince." That old man would never persuade someone with the sentence above
that's the issue. Link , try this one, for temporarily, this might help you a bit, (it won't help you a lot, the designer of this one is stingy). also, using it easy, just copy and paste your work into it, and it'd show the errors with red lines.