Corrupt a Wish

granted, but people grieve for you and you become a figure in everyone's heart
I wish i got the correct dare

 

Granted but as you are happy that you got your wish, you choke on your saliva and fall into deep coma.
I wish for friction to not exist.

 

granted, but now anytime you move, you are launched way farther than you intended to go
I wish that i had a better microphone

 

Granted but the microphone has an alien in it which takes over your mind and controls it, leaving you as a spectator who cannot control his body and is a viewer to his body's actions.
I wish for pitch black darkness to envelope the universe.

 

granted, but it is dark matter which no one knows about
I wish for a more carefree profile picture

 

granted, here it is


I wish for powdered chocolate

 

Granted but as soon as touch it, it turns to powdered shit.
I wish for time to stop.

 

Granted
None of these happen
I wish for a paradox
Is this 50 characters yet?

Edit i would change it... but it still works for a time stop

 

Granted, you get a pet named paradox, and it likes writing paradoxical riddles on the wall of your house while you're not looking.

I wish for a cable.

 

granted~

I even threw in some deadpool... cause I want to... bear with it
∑d(°∀°d)

I wish for a neck tie so I would look a little bit decent.

 

granted, but you can no longer use netflix, or watch anime
I wish for a good machine translator

 

Granted, but it can only translate from English to Chinese.

I wish for a good luck charm.

 

Granted, but it's cursed.

I wish for curse cleansing powers!

 

granted but you can only cleanse the curses of the person you hate the most.
I wish i could repair anything I wanted.

 

Granted but the things you repaired gain consciousness and hunt you down.
I wish for world war 3.

 

granted but it would be fought with pillows

I wish for a new game console

 

Granted but the console can only be played with pillows as controllers
I wish for meteor to fall on earth

 

Granted, but the pillows used on World War 3, a console for playing awesome games, blocked the meteor and saved the world.

I wish for a @Bunnypillow !

 

Granted, however the only future you can see is your unavoidable demise.

I wish for the ability to multitask 5 things at once.

 

Granted but the BunnyPillow will draw on your face when you sleep!!

I wish for a potato!