Best Jokes Ever

Discussion in 'TV/Movies Discussion' started by FatalStrings, Jan 26, 2018.

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  1. FatalStrings

    FatalStrings Admiral: Third Celestial Armada

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    I'm bored and I want to discover new comedians.
    Post your favorite jokes by any comedian or show here.

    make sure you include the name of the show or the comic. bonus points if you include the title of the episode/special

    here's Bill Burr
     
    FatalStrings, Jan 26, 2018
    #1
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  2. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    Not new but definitely one of the best. :blobshh:
     
    elengee, Jan 26, 2018
    #2
    Diukes, justmehere, FatalStrings and 1 other person like this.
  3. Kung Pao

    Kung Pao chickens don't get headaches, they eat my grains

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    I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust.
    This one-liner joke is what made Tim Vine win the award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
     
    Kung Pao, Jan 26, 2018
    #3
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  4. akki

    akki [Ani's C☕ffee-mate #3] [Shady Merchant]

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    If you’re bored then watch this~ from the show Impractical Jokers. A comedy group that created their own hidden camera show~
     
    akki, Jan 26, 2018
    #4
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  5. FatalStrings

    FatalStrings Admiral: Third Celestial Armada

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    I'm googling Tim Vine right now
     
    FatalStrings, Jan 26, 2018
    #5
  6. HavekZero

    HavekZero A well meaning, contributing member of this forum

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    trevor noah, stephen colbert, john oliver. you take your pick.

    other than that my recent favourite would be ricky gervais.

    him hosting the golden globes is golden. and they invited him to host it 4 fucking times... like wow.
     
    HavekZero, Jan 26, 2018
    #6
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  7. gandalf

    gandalf Patriarch "You Shall Not Pass"

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    I'll show you da wae...
     
    gandalf, Jan 26, 2018
    #7
    FatalStrings likes this.
  8. Mighty Action X

    Mighty Action X Mighty and Invincible

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    I know Impractical Jokers and my most favorite punishment was when they got Sal to experience the pains of childbirth.
     
    Mighty Action X, Jan 26, 2018
    #8
  9. Madder

    Madder Just a twat

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    Ricky Gervais
    Best part from 10:06
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2018
    Madder, Jan 26, 2018
    #9
  10. Nyamsus

    Nyamsus Life is full of shit and we live in it

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    These are late night show dudes
     
    Nyamsus, Jan 26, 2018
    #10
  11. Haiku575

    Haiku575 Well-Known Member

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    Haiku575, Jan 26, 2018
    #11
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  12. xViper

    xViper Well-Known Member

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    An optimist learns english.
    A pessimist learns russian.
    A realist cleans his gun.
     
    xViper, Jan 26, 2018
    #12
    FatalStrings likes this.
  13. ReadOrDie

    ReadOrDie already dead

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    Louis ck
     
    ReadOrDie, Jan 26, 2018
    #13
  14. Madder

    Madder Just a twat

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    Richard Ayoade, David Mitchell, Russell Brand
    UK panel shows are incredibly funny.
    Eg. Big Fat Quiz, 8 Out of 10 cats Does Countdown, Would I Lie to You, Was It Something I Said?
     
    Madder, Jan 26, 2018
    #14
  15. akki

    akki [Ani's C☕ffee-mate #3] [Shady Merchant]

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    I’ve never found him that funny. Whenever I see him on any tv show it’s like he’s so desperate for a laugh he can’t stop cracking a joke
     
    akki, Jan 26, 2018
    #15
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  16. Viator

    Viator [Cult of Pyoo: Pyoo's Oak Tree]

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    Viator, Jan 26, 2018
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  17. SomeDude

    SomeDude Well-Known Member

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    A cop told me to freeze, I said "I neva Freeze" then walk away.


     
    SomeDude, Jan 26, 2018
    #17
  18. Mighty Action X

    Mighty Action X Mighty and Invincible

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    Killing people is easy. To be politically correct is a pain in the ass.
     
    Mighty Action X, Jan 26, 2018
    #18
  19. Kung Pao

    Kung Pao chickens don't get headaches, they eat my grains

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    I agree with you on that, but he has a few good one-liners, I think he's not made for TV.
     
    Kung Pao, Jan 26, 2018
    #19
  20. akki

    akki [Ani's C☕ffee-mate #3] [Shady Merchant]

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    True. If we’re talking about one-liners then I’m a fan of Jimmy Carr.
     
    akki, Jan 26, 2018
    #20
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