The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System fan fiction

Ta-da! o/4th post within 24 hours, I'm on a roll! I need to focus on work tho....

The Naïve System's Villain Reformation Plan
Arc 3: The Grumpy Cat Arc
Chapter 18

Spoiler: I can hear colors, and see songs

A little known fact about spirits: [] can’t see, not in the same way creatures of flesh do. [] sense instead, watching the world fly by in colors, densities, and feelings. If [] gain enlightenment, and cultivate the way the fleshly ones, it’s not impossible to replicate eyes, among other organs. Only then may [] see in terms of light and depth perception.

As for how close [℘] is to reaching that state….mm. [℘] is very far.

It’s almost a hundred years since [℘] first sensed, but [℘] is still a very young []. [℘] is undeveloped, mostly because [℘] doesn’t get called out very often with previous masters. Or, rather, [℘] never really felt like leaving the fan. The first master was very panicky and waves of distress were always emanating from him, especially after he found [℘] eating [℘]’s fill of all the spiritually dense treasures in the treasury. But if they weren’t there to eat, what would they be for? Collecting dust? [℘] didn’t get it, and also needed time to digest all the energy. So [℘] left the distraught man and went to sleep.

…[℘] accidently slept a long time. Oops.

The next masters were all very angry and dark; they slinked about like sinister tentacles and also were dumb. [℘] did not like them, so [℘] pretended to be not-there and slept some more.

Oh, but [℘] likes the master right now! Master is a gentle puddle of seafoam green. This is a very pretty and soft color, so [℘] is pleased. The food master gives is a little bland, but technically [℘] doesn’t need to eat, only absorb from the environment, so that’s okay. [℘] misses the taste of iron and bamboo, though.

Right now, [℘] is chewing on a chair of wood. It’s very hardy, and helps reduce the itch in [℘]’s teeth. A burst of spiritual air tells [℘] that someone just arrived. [℘] senses, and finds the cobalt man. He shows up every day [℘] does (or is it the other way around?), so [℘] is very familiar with him. He is like family!

“Haha, hello again!” says cobalt. He reaches over and pats [℘]’s head. [℘] lets him, before floating to find master. [℘] likes cobalt, but he is very bright. It can be blinding to be close to him for a long time. Cobalt doesn’t mind, and laughs. “Aw. Qingqiu, look at how much she likes you.”

Master’s puddle slowly circulates, once. “Mm.”

[℘] climbs to the top of master, because master is always a soothing alternative to cobalt’s light. When cobalt gets too bright, being in master’s aura always helps block him out.

Cobalt laughs, a succession of flashes. [℘] has to wait for the spots to leave her sense. “I think I’m jealous.” He is not lying, and [℘] feels a little bad for him. Maybe [℘] should give him another chance. [℘] chirps.

“You’re too bright for her,” says master. “She’s willing to sit on you if you tone it down.”

“Ah, but then where will I get material to blackmail you with?” says cobalt. He moves closer. “Scoot over a little, Qingqiu. I think I might head to bed earlier today.”

“Alright. Good night.”

“Night!”

[℘] finds these kinds days really nice. [℘] yawns. It is also time for [℘] to sleep. Hopefully master doesn’t mind if [℘] takes…a small...nap….

…

…

o-o-o-o-o-o

Master’s spending a quiet afternoon reading again. [℘] is very bored, so [℘] starts climbing onto master.

A single ripple across master’s aura is the only warning [℘] gets before a hand tugs [℘] down but the scruff of neck of [℘]'s manifestation. “Not right now,” master says, distracted. “I’m getting to a good part.”

Mm, but [℘] doesn’t want to be ignored. [℘] is also a little hungry. [℘] phases and floats away from master’s hands and onto the object of master’s attention. Let’s see if master can ignore [℘] now.

“Windy, get off.” says master before the seafoam pond suddenly flash freezes. Master leans back and covers his face. “...fuck. Look what you just made me do.” He seems to be talking to the air, which is nice because the wind can be a good listener.

But master sounds slightly horrified, which makes [℘] worried. [℘] is also confused. Who is Windy? It was directed towards [℘]. Is [℘] Windy? Did master just give [℘] a fleshly name?

Hmmm. [℘] accepts! [℘] barks at master, who is still very, very still.

Then [℘] waits, very patiently.

Master gradually thaws out again. “Damn it,” he says. Then master holds [℘] by the sides. “You’re hungry, right? Let’s see what herbs Qingyuan’s got stocked around here.” He pauses, hesitating. “...Windy.”

[℘] cheers.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Lately master has these small ripples of agitation flowing across his pond. It makes it hard for [℘] to come out. [℘] doesn’t know how to fix it, so [℘] can go only to sleep in the fan. Sleep is always good. Maybe sleep will fix master?

[℘] misses master. And cobalt, too.

It feels a little like forever.

o-o-o-o-o-o

When [℘] shows up again, it’s to the smell of the earth. [℘] is happy to be in the forest, but [℘] is happier be with master again. And cobalt is here too!

Cobalt is also happy to see [℘]. “Oh? If it isn’t Windy? It’s been a while!”

[℘] chirps, then dims down [℘]’s senses. Cobalt is still very bright and flashy. [℘] is glad to see he hasn’t changed.

“We’re going on an adventure,” cobalt whispers secretively, but his aura is so loud. “I think Qingqiu needs some fresh air. Isn’t this nice?”

Master is tranquil, and there’s not a ripple on his surface. He is also content, and [℘] likes the feeling of that very much.“Qingyuan, we’re on a mission. Let’s try to get this done sooner rather than later (“Spoilsport!” complains cobalt). Windy, come here.” And so [℘] floats over to latch onto master.

After a little while [℘] lets go and decides to do some individual exploring. So many things to see!

o-o-o-o-o-o

“Shit! Qingyuan, it's a nest!”

There is a serpent. It is tall, and long, and a murky black fluid slinks up and down like a trickling faucet. When the serpent bits into cobalt, it leaves behind two drops of foul blackness before cobalt cuts it in two.

“Well, this isn’t good,” says cobalt, holding out his arm.

Master is no longer placid. His surface is churning and swirling with increasing ferocity. He’s a whirlpool now, and [℘] is…[℘] is swept along and feeling very, very angry.

Unable to maintain a materialized form any longer, [℘] vanishes back into the fan, a final growl still lingering in the air.

From the fan, [℘] roars and feels master’s aura surging as well.

In this moment, [℘] is invincible.


(A record of [℘]’s findings)
- 1 flower with five soft petals. All were very tasty. Like!
- 3 small birds in a nest. Noisy. Do not like.
- 1 super glowy mushroom. A lot of aura, but master said it was poisonous…Do not like.
- 1 pin in cobalt’s hair. Strange and cold. Maybe like. Also master made [℘] return it to cobalt.
- 3 butterflies. Delicate and gentle. Like!
- 2 big birds. Also noisy. Do not like.

Writer's Note: this was rather unexpected POV....but while System feels very unreliable, Windy seems to be a good narrator! Kinda. And Yue, are you okay?? Things keep happening to you. Shen is actually a little like Yue's unlucky charm, but it could also be said that the reverse is true.

 

Windy is so cute . It feels like I'm reading the pov of a baby animal.

 

That's a pretty accurate assessment! As a very inexperienced spirit, [℘] operates in simple thoughts and instincts.

Two notes I wasn't able to fit in: 1) As a creature of perfect yin-yang composition, [℘] is nay impossible to detect by sensing aura. [℘] simply blends into the environment, which is why Ju Juliang ~3 chapters ago only saw a dagger on Shen, not the fan. 2) [℘] is an omnivore to end all omnivores. Everything (but not butterflies!) has the potential to be food.

 

Pandaaaaaaa! Omg cute.

 

Will this do?

Spoiler

This was originally assigned to you.

Spoiler

Since you want more space, I will assume that it is your kotatsu room only.
For a more spacious place, will this do?

Spoiler

 

DEPRESSION CAKE

Spoiler

ATDSVT- 1001 Nights Era
***
How long does virtue and love last in a harem that has six hundred and thirteen avidly competing beauties in it?

Six hundred and thirteen scheming beauties... When the Qin sisters had married Luo Binghe, they had never envisioned having to share him with so many. It was all very well having to share him with Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan who both had some modicum of honor and shame but the demon realm beauties were a powderkeg and Sha Hualing was the worst of it.

That scorpion beauty had schemed relentlessly to bring them down until Wanyue had a miscarriage.

Wanyue naturally had a grudge after having lost one child to that bitch, so when Sha Hualing finally overstepped and started looking further, she was glad that Luo Binghe had finally acted to cut her down.

That didn't mean she had forgiven him for not acting to protect them earlier, though.

Had he taken the harem in hand much earlier, that son of hers might still be alive. So would countless people who became collateral damage.

Contending all day for his affections, watching as the other wives schemed all day to frame this person and harm that person...this was not what the Qin sisters had married him for.

Qin Wanyue and Wanrong were very bitterly disappointed with him by now. Of course, one didn't say such things where untrustworthy persons could overhear, but even though they said nothing, they saw plenty. It wasn't as if they were the only ones who were bitter.

A boundless number of descendants...

Even after he had taken over the demon realm, massacred and annihilated the human realm's righteous sects and then taken over the human realm as well, that still led to infighting among a majority of his descendants and their mothers for his favor and in order to get land for them to rule and other such things.

Princesses and Princes, like nobles, had their income from their rank and the land that came with those ranks. Land was not infinite, nor was it all of the same quality or the same assets. To maintain their dignity, lavish palaces and other visible signs of wealth were expected. Some of these descendants started political factions, all of them flattered and placated their father outrageously in hope of gaining from it

While she had done her best to stay out of the scheming, it didn't mean that Qin Wanyue couldn't understand why it was happening.

With this many children and this many wives, Luo Binghe expected a welcome wherever he went, right?

But with this many wives and that many children, it wasn't like he bothered to pay them more than cursory attention. A child needed parents a lot of hours of the day, particularly to learn the virtues, but Luo Binghe had so many that he didn't pay attention to them anywhere near the amount that they needed.

In that respect, the revolt had been coming a long time now. With their doting, scheming mothers and all but absent father, it was no surprise to Wanyue or Wanrong that some of Luo Binghe's sons and daughters had taken to using his name as currency or borrowed his reputation to oppress other families' children.

The less they were alotted, the more likely it was that they would scheme against each other. In front of their father they wore masks of virtue,but when he was not there, they ran rampant and roughshod.

So, yes, this had been a long time coming.

Now that the worst offenders had been cut down, of course Luo Binghe was looking more closely at the harem and his children.

The Qin sisters were fairly sure it was only a matter of time before things came to another head, and they were right.

Luo Binghe had started trying to get to know his children. The act of paying attention to them, however, had its own consequences.

The first was that some of the children who he paid attention to, puffed up and became full of themselves.

The second was that the scheming among several of his descendants grew worse to the point that the first of the children Luo Binghe had tried to get to know was killed by the machinations of his siblings.

The third was that the remnants of Luo Binghe's idealized image of his harem and family went down in flames.

Needless to say, he did not take it well.

 

Because you said what I was thinking so well.

Volunteers to be doted on and cuddled be Shizun.

G's adoration of Yue is so sweet. Yue Qingyuan and G OTP. Continue making Binghe eat vinegar, he deserves it.

That aunt has a lot to account for lol.
Gav please don't bully Valor, well at least not too much.

Lingxui's family reaction to him blushing. Also the rabbits, it reminds me of Founder of Diabolism and Wei Wuxian's inability to tell the rabbits' gender. Since the two novels are loosely linked together I wonder if it's a trend in that world

Really need a panda emoji. I suppose their luck balances each other's out.
Is [℘] the script p?

No. 2. Although no.3 is a very close second.
Would have replied back earlier but saw the updates for Face of the Devil.

 

Here are some treats for Gav and Valor for all your hard work.

 

I HAVE RETURNED. FROM BULLYING VALOR TO WRITE MORE.

PRAISE ME, PET ME!

Also that set of rooms I posted for you is a suite. They go together.

 

You are the best fairy ever

 

Good job on keeping Valor in line. Here are some treats for a job well done.

 

Spoiler: Behold, cake in progress.

ATDSVT
***
Their first dual cultivation was a revelation.

After finding out that Qingqiu liked, no, loved him to that extent, Yue Qingyuan found his resolve was crumbling.

Knowing that Qingqiu took such comfort and joy in holding him close, how could he deny his best friend (and most important person) the physical affection he clearly seemed to need?

Of course he couldn't. That was why he gave in and held his hand more often and embraced Qingqiu whenever he sought closeness. Even if he was in public. Especially when people started approaching Qingqiu. (Because their reasons for approaching him were suspicious. Really. Totally Suspicious.)

Of course this had several side effects. For one, everyone in Cang Qiong seemed strangely certain that Liu Qingge would combust.

For another, Liu Qingge seemed determined to pry Qingqiu off of him, if only to protect his dignity.

 

You have now seen two of my cakes in progress (the Yue and the G side). Anyone want to see more?

After I complete all the batch of cakes in progress then they will be posted here with their cake names.

 

Hey uh.... Is there a chance for someone to put ALL of the fanfiction thread links here in the first thread of the first page? Because I don't have a discord and I cannot cope with reading 260+ pages with each page containing 50 threads. Please.

 

All of my fics are in the docs on page 1 post 1. I believe the other doc files belong to my fellow authors.

 

PASSIONFRUIT CAKE

Spoiler

ATDSVT
***
Their first dual cultivation was a revelation.

After finding out that Qingqiu liked, no, loved him to that extent, Yue Qingyuan found his resolve was crumbling.

Knowing that Qingqiu took such comfort and joy in holding him close, how could he deny his best friend (and most important person) the physical affection he clearly seemed to need?

Of course he couldn't. That was why he gave in and held his hand more often and embraced Qingqiu whenever he sought closeness. Even if he was in public. Especially when people started approaching Qingqiu. (Because their reasons for approaching him were suspicious. Really. Totally Suspicious.)

Of course this had several side effects. For one, everyone in Cang Qiong seemed strangely certain that Liu Qingge would combust.

For another, Liu Qingge seemed determined to pry Qingqiu off of him, if only to protect his dignity.

While Liu Qingge was partly right, it didn't mean that Yue Qingyuan liked it when the Bai Zhan Peak Lord interfered with his private affairs.
***
Of course, such a change in their relationship had its challenges.

For one, the lovemaking was thorough and intense, but the dual cultivation added another level to it, deepening the sensations even further. To be precise, Yue knew what Qingqiu enjoyed and could feel his pleasure as his own.

One of the most startling moments of that was when their intimate intercourse started off an orgasm cascade.

Yue Qingyuan was now quite aware that Qingqiu desired him to distraction.

Qingqiu's tenderness and hunger for him... for all of him, every last precious part.. came through quite well across their connection even as Qingqiu stroked his meridians, dantian, spirit veins and... everything.. with his energies, feeding them into him in pulses and stroked caressed, licked and nibbled his way down his body, paying special attention to all of Yue's most sensitive parts.

Especially his rosy nipples which Qingqiu loved to lick and nibble gently at, his chrysanthemum which Qingqiu pounded into, and his jade stalk which Qingqiu enjoyed milking of his creamy fluid.

Qingqiu wanted Yue to be pleasured. He took pleasure in Yue's pleasure. Yue was quite willing to give in to him but if Yue didn't tell him to stop, he would go quite overboard. And then the next morning, Yue's legs would be like limp noodles, his hips weak, and he would only be able to wait and grumble weakly on the changed sheets while Qingqiu tended to him gently, wiping him clean with warm wet cloths, and drying him.

All too often, Yue's ability to decide if he wanted Qingqiu to continue and give him more or to have him stop and end the torment of overstimulation was seriously compromised.

It didn't help that Qingqiu liked to suckle at... that.. and made him come a few times even before he carefully entered his body. It left Yue at a disadvantage.

Flushed and teary eyed, his body wracked by sensations he couldnt control, Yue often found himself clutching at Qingqiu while calling out his name, incapable of coherently telling him to stop or keep going.

It didn't help that with their emotional connection, Yue could easily feel that Qingqiu found him being teary eyed and overstimulated to be an incredibly arousing ... and utterly adorable.. sight.

He would be aggrieved if he wasn't drowning in bliss.

Yue was flooded with Qingqiu's affection, and doting, while Yue was writhing against him in the sheets.

It made him feel a bit embarrassed and shy afterwards and oddly, like his body had been renewed.

But that was private. Just like the way he tended to flush and call Qingqiu a wolf, always eager to eat his tofu.

So why the hells did Liu Qingge always look like he wanted to die whenever he saw the two of them together? It wasn't as if he lived near enough to hear their bedroom activities, not when the walls were very solid wood and stone, and even an additional layer of sound dampening cork.

Liu Qingge lived all the way over at Bai Zhan Peak, so what was his problem?

 

LEMON CAKE

Spoiler

ATDSVT
***
Qingqiu was suspiciously amiable and quite willing, even eager, to accept Yue inside him. Since this was to be the first time that Yue was going to try it, he was naturally quite nervous and worried about hurting his friend.

Thus, he was quite surprised when Qingqui wrapped both arms around him and drew him down to mumur against his ear,"Yue, even after you make me come, please keep fucking me."

T-that wicked look in his eyes!

Yue's cheeks flushed and his ears turned pink. "Qingqiu! You-"

"Don't stop," Qingqiu murmured, kissing his cheek, "until you've had your fill."

I-is this Qingqiu giving him leave to 'take revenge' for all the 'bullying' he put Yue through?!

But..."Aren't you worried that I might hurt you?" Yue asked, brow furrowed. He was certainly worried. This was going to be the first time he was inside his friend. What if he.. did something wrong and made him bleed?

"Yue, I know you would never intentionally hurt me. You never have before, and you never will. I trust you. I know you care for me. I know you will be careful with me. I know that if there are any signs that you are hurting me in any way, you would stop of your own accord, and take care of me."

Those words from Qingqiu made Yue's eyes widen and made the worries, and the guilt he had felt, slide off his back, leaving him surprisingly free and light.

"I also know that since we've been together so many times, you probably already know exactly how to prepare me, since I've done it to you." Qingqiu smiled, warm and sweet, "So, I'm not worried at all."

T-this was definitely Qingqiu giving him leave to 'take revenge' on him!

"Feel free to take everything." Qingqiu's smile widened invitingly.

W-Well. If Qingqiu was alright with it...

Yue would prepare him very carefully and enter him slowly then. After that...When he was inside... As Qingqiu had asked, he wouldn't stop. Lovely images of Qingqiu helpless and ravished danced through Yue's mind.

***

It was every bit as sweet and heady as he could have imagined. Qingqiu was exquisitely responsive, sensitive, hot, tight and eager... and as their energies were connected, Yue could tell that Qingqiu liked everything that he was doing and that, as much as Qingqiu's pleas, spurred him onwards. In fact, Yue would be too embarrassed to admit he... went a bit wild, and eventually did take... everything.. as Qingqiu had put it.

All of the things Qingqiu did to him, the relentless stimulation, the milking of his seed, the kiss marks and fingerprints on his thighs, he was more than willing to return tenfold, and his 'enthusiasm' drove Qingqiu to climax (hard!) over and over, straight into overstimulation.

Yue didn't stop until his dear friend was every bit as limp and utterly helpless, incapable of moving and... dripping their mingled fluids as he had been, those past times.

Of course that now left Yue in charge of the clean up, since Qingqiu was utterly looselimbed, and limp with the afterglow.

Not that Qingqiu was complaining in any sense. If anything, the delighted purr of energy that they were sharing as they lay sated, made it perfectly clear that Qingqiu completely approved of everything that Yue had come up with.

 

Screams and rolls around on the bed.
Yue getting his "revenge" on the bully Qingqiu. And Yue, Liu Qingge looks like he wants to die because he wants to be included.

Here are some sample ideas for your cakes.

Spiced Dulce de Leche Banana Icebox Cake


Peanut Butter Truffle Cupcakes


Mocha Cupcake


Mirror Cake, Galaxy Cakes, and Pinata Cake