The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System fan fiction

Yang Dewei basically used Zhu Ming Si as bait to get other people to stop hitting on the inner sect and Shifu. Sacrificing all the unmarried outer sect disciples, so unscrupulous!

 

So thats what happened!

 

....well ill give yang dewei kudos for thinking and executing the idea beautifully.

At least the outer disciples are only getting sacrificed like so instead of as human panacea or cauldrons o3o

 

RED ENVELOPE

Spoiler

ATDSVT-1001 NIGHTS
***
Luo Binghe was finding that making promises was far easier than keeping them.

He had promised that he would never hurt Shizun again, that he would be gentle, that he would make up for his mistakes, for the way he had hurt Shizun in that first year. But how could he make up for his mistakes, when most of the time, Shizun was the one protecting him?

Right now, he was once again a small, fluffy lapdog that was more bark than bite. Shizun was injured, and they were hiding inside a cave, trying to avoid something that would consider him a doggy nugget. He wouldn't even count as an appetizer.

The smell of copper that his sensitive nose picked up caused his eyes to water in sympathy. However, all he could do was whine apologies as softly as possibly and lick at Shizun's fingers, rubbing his small, fluffy body against the man's stomach while he was in his lap.

This place may not have been a demon realm but it was fairly close. First, there were the waterdemons with their tails that ended in a hand. Those creatures had poison in their teeth and claws. Second, there were the blue skinned, bloated undead that rose up from bodies of water to try to drag people in. Then there were the poisonous snakes, poisonous frogs, poisonous insects, poisonous lizards, and oh yes, poisonous salamanders too. If that wasn't bad enough, there were at least eight more different types of undead, and the...crocodilian fish toads.

Luo Binghe really wanted to kill that accursed winged bastard for turning him into a lapdog while they were in a land like this.

As it was, he could only bark the alarm for Shizun if he could sense an enemy. He would give this body approval for only two things. The first was that it could sense enemies very acutely, the second was that Shizun liked to cuddle it.

Shizuuuun~!

He loved to sit in Shizun's lap and be stroked and petted over and over with those elegant, long fingered and gentle hands. He loved to listen to Shizun's heartbeat, bask in his scent as he was held close to Shizun's chest.

So warm. So comfortable.

He had tried to be really diligent in warning his precious person, so that he wouldn't have to see him hurt again, but even early warnings couldn't prevent all attacks from coming through. That was dependent on strength, speed, and agility. Luo Binghe could already tell that those monsters were of high level, much higher than most monsters that the Cang Qiong Mountain sect in his past life had slain, which was why Shizun was like this now, and why Binghe was worried he might get hurt worse later.

 

RED ENVELOPE

Spoiler

ATDSVT
***
Zisheng was having a no good, very bad day.

Tar pit here, quicksand there, he would swear the plants were sentient, because their very roots tripped him as he passed.

Their horse had been a casualty of the first pit trap- it had whinnied miserably as it fought the quicksand, until he and MoQin had been forced to jump from the saddle.

They had to leave the poor stallion behind, and hope it didn't sink.

Then they had to keep walking onward, to try to find out where Ziming had gone.

By the time they escaped the pit traps of noxious mud and stench, both of their clothes were ruined, but MoQin made no complaint, only patted Zisheng's arm.

Zisheng felt warmth inside and fondness for her. Why couldn't she have been the one Ziming was marrying?

But no. They had to stop that wedding.

They ran into three different tentacled monstrosities on their way through Cang Qiong's territory, all of which had tentacles that squirted... ooze.. at them. Ooze that was hallucinogenic. Or smelled worse than skunk spray. Zisheng's sword was eventually lost in a battle with one of them,but he endured it. He walked into trees, but he endured it.

Zisheng's eyes watered miserably, but he endured.

He and MoQin were covered in black gunk, and horrible stench, in leaves and twigs and feathers and the occasional bird poop, but they endured!

The humans in their path fled from them, but they endured! Even the wild animals fled from them, but they endured!

By the time they managed to get to the site of the celebration, the wedding was almost done.

The first words they heard as they approached the area, was one of the spectators saying, "Ugh, what is that smell?!" while holding their nose.

They looked like the creatures from the black lagoon, the stench parting the crowds to give him a wiiiiiide berth in order to save their fine clothes and shoes.

Zisheng kicked down the ornately carved door and screamed at the top of his lungs,"I OBJECT!"

Everyone had had been suffering his stench before he actually arrived, so this ruffian's behavior wasn't a surprise to them.

Ziling and Ziqing covered their faces with their hands. They couldn't believe they were related to this guy.

"WHY IS MY BROTHER THE MALE WIFE?!" Zisheng held forth, disgruntled by the sight of the wedding sedan.

"HE SHOULD BE THE HUSBAAAAND!"

Ziming sighed and covered his face as Wang An patted his arm consolingly.
The man who had been officiating the ceremony was bemused as he stared at this... apparition.

"THAT MAN IS NOT WORTHY OF MY BROTHER! HE IS A LECHER AND A-"

"...Zisheng, The wedding just finished." Ziqing stated with the same patience he displayed when some of the old bastards in court held forth about how things went 'in their day!' when everything was perfect, blah blah blah.

Zisheng paused. Then he burst into tears as MoQin solemnly patted his shoulder and then hugged him.

In the end, they both were escorted and had to get baths and clean clothes. Zisheng cried until he hiccuped miserably. Only after he was clean was he allowed to cling to his brother... to bawl some more.

Wang An felt sorry for everyone involved. First, the bystanders. Then, their guests. Then, everyone who must have run into his new brother-in-law on his way here from the city they lived in.

Only later did he find out that firstly, his brother-in-law had gained a reputation for uncovering brides on their wedding days and secondly, Wu Gui had been deliberately moving non-lethal gunk and stink and monster traps into his brother-in-law's path to keep him from messing up Wang An's wedding. Wu Gui was a true bro.

 

Awwwww! Zisheng! He's so adorable even though he's ALL CAPS TROUBLE (after all, stupid kids are cuter). At least he did get to cling to big bro for a bit? Maybe Wang An can gift him a transportation artefact so he can visit Ziming more easily (though whether he'll want to is another question altogether)?

MoQin is seriously best girl. And Wu Gui! How did he know who Zisheng is? Were they warned about the possible gatecrash?

Thaannk you for the update!

 

Wu Gui and Enlai will always be awesome bros.

 

PANCAKES

Spoiler

ATDSVT
***
Jiang Ming San was one of the outer sect disciples who had married earlier. Their marriage had perhaps not started off on the most auspicious note, but it was going quite well right now.

His parents were happy, and well taken cared of, his wife was a filial daughter-in-law. Their home was fine, well built, spacious and well provided for in terms of land and crops. The only wrinkle in this fine brocade was that they would soon have to find some good men to marry his wife's maids, marrying into the household instead of marrying out.

His wife, Yin MeiMei was currently wreathed in smiles.

Firstly, she was pregnant. Secondly, her business of selling various cottons, linens, fine hemp cloth, woven silk and brocade woven by the magic looms was doing really well. Thirdly, her cousins were still horribly jealous of her.

Yin MeiMei owned property of her own. Yin MeiMei had land and shops, fine and lovely clothing, jewels, access to rare ingredients, good food, a well furbished and well built home.

And her husband was gorgeous and considered very powerful as a Jianghu expert by her home town's standards.

Yin MeiMei was even more pleased when the advisory with Zhu Ming Si had gone out.

Why? Because now her cousins' guts were even greener. And her husband hadn't even had to take off his shirt for it to happen

Her husband had been quite surprised since those recordings normally involved the inner sect or the various death traps around their home, but since one of the inner sect disciples had set it up, he guessed they had their good reasons for it.

Yin MeiMei suspected the inner sect disciple who set it up was doing it specifically to give people guts green from envy.

Since Yin MeiMei's husband was in the first batch of outer sect disciples to undergo and pass hell training, he and his batch naturally were further along that path of cultivation than Zhu Ming Si and none of them would lose to him on any account. Punching out an Ox subtype beast? Her hubby had done it plenty of times.

Of course, since her husband was developing quite exceptionally, she was naturally proud and very territorial of him. So letting him be seen naked by anyone other than herself was unthinkable.

But Zhu Ming Si had now been seen with no clothes, and so, since clothes hung on them the same way, the natural assumption was now that all the Qing Jing outer sect disciples were built like that too.

Which meant that her cousins would be ever greener.

This clearly meant it was time to head home for another pleasingly filial visit wherein her hubby would be quiet and respectful to the point that her parents would bloom with smiles and her other relatives would go and grow mushrooms in the corner.

Or perhaps she could invite her family over to visit them here in this city, since she could now show off her new home.

One of the best things about her husband was this. He didn't like delicate, ornate things. Gilded objects also weren't his interest. That meant that everything that was fashionable in that manner ended up in her private rooms and in his mother's. The rest of the furniture around was smooth, polished and very simple. So her rooms and her mother-in-law's rooms became the jewels of their home. The contrast would make her cousins even more ridiculously envious if they entered their home.

 

These two are cuuuute~ I love that even the mob characters get to be happy in your story. Mwahahahah green guts galore!

 

I am a just and merciful god.

By the way, more story (mob characters seeing the situation from different angles) still incoming.

Speaking of which, how did I do with otl Binghe this time? Is he adorable?

 

That you are.

Annnnd yaaaaayyy!!! Which ones?

Pom!Binghe is always cute. Now if only he can generate that cuteness when he’s his normal adult self lol. I mean he’s trying? But I don’t think he’s succeeding

 

To be fair, he still is cute as his normal adult self, unfortunately the cuteness of his clinging (which is adorable) isn't getting past G's MENTAL TRAUMA levels.

 

Fight-o Bing-ge! You can do it! Maybe....

 

Remember when G's second son died? And Necron came to get vengeance? BEHOLD ONE OF THE THEME SONGS FOR THAT ARC.
Actually it is the song for that arc and also appears in the soundtrack of the arc before that, when G's first son and daughter died. :V

 

/waits for comments white writing next parts

 

It seems Mu Qiqi's suitors are more decent than I thought. I am actually rooting for her to have a harem, after training them a bit they might become decent concubines for her.
Lu Fuling's background looks like it might bring trouble for Mu Qiqi though, same with the others.

 

Am curious to know who has the 'Peak Lord Who Holds The Sect's Wallet' title right now.
When I read the part about Zhu Ming Si and the bubble bath the first thing I thought was

But this works too


Kudos to Yang Dewei, now the fanclubs and stalkers have a juicy piece of meat to go after while he, his brothers and Shizun can relax and enjoy the show. Been wondering how the betting rings and Liu's sanity have been faring recently.

 

☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)
Special Hell Advertisement. If he only knew that the one who dragged him there was his respected senior brother. If he did find out I wonder what Yang Dewei would do to keep him quiet.

 

I feel bad for both Luo Binghe and G. Binghe because he does sound repentant (still don't ship him with G ) and G because he has to go through all that pain and torture. At least Binghe would have helped protect him. Waiting expectantly for the eventual downfall of the eastern system.

 

(*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ)) Zisheng is so adorable! Clinging to his brother like a wet shirt
Wang An owes Wu Gui big time. When it's Wu Gui's turn to get married Wang An better go all out.