Corrupt a Wish

Granted but you can never remember what a T joint is.

I wish that I could spend part of the day awake.

 

No problem, I don't mind. It's just that I don't really have the time to pay attention to the forum.

Have fun!

 

Haa! Too late! My wish was granted today in class by my skills!

Granted. Except you’re now blind.

I wish for more time.

 

Granted you get a clock thats slow

I wish for a chair made of bones

 

Granted except it’s made out of fake bones and it’s too small to sit on.

I wish to be on time.

 

Granted, you are standing on a huge hourglass called “TIME” so I guess that counts as being on time...

I wish for magic that automatically kills all the bugs that come into my house

 

Granted, except now you and your family are now bugs.

I wish for money.

 

Granted, you got a mystery box that may potentially contain a lot of money depending on your luck. Unfortunately, your luck has been terrible recently and got one penny.

I wish to have flawless skin.

 

...I would bash you if that wasn’t actually true.

Granted, except it only looks flawless from a mile away.

I wish for comprehension.

 

Granted you get the archaic meaning hence everyone always includes you in everything they do.

I wish for government to be competent

 

Granted!
Your government is VEEEERRRRRYYY competent at embezzling money. Good luck with that.

I wish for a nice warm cup of cocoa.

 

Granted, a warm cup made of cocoa.

I wish for a cute daughter.

 

Granted your daughter is a very cute blob

I wish for a summer that doesn’t get too hot

 

Granted but now it’s too cold.

I wish for my wish to not get corrupted.

 

Granted! What did you expect something more from this?

I wish that I could fly very slowly.

 

Granted, you have been sprayed with some kind of magic powder that gives you the ability to fly. However, it slows down your perception of time so when you move fast, you will still be moving slow in the eyes of others. When you move slowly, others will see you barely moving at all.

I wish for my social skills to improve

 

granted, you begin seeing behind the masks that others hide behind, and what you discover scars you in ways you never imagined were possible

i wish for better enlgihs

 

Granted~

Enlgihs the moon severing sword, an ego sword that was going to choose you as its other half heard your wish and was hurt.

Trembling in anger, it almost flew off to cut off your melon head but in it's tiny little heart (shaped pommel), it already had you as its destined partner.

So instead, it decides to go on a journey of self improvement. Traversing the vast plains, sailing all the oceans, over the craggy mountain ranges, it traveled the known and unknown places of this world all just to please its destined partner, you, selfish and ungrateful @wonderer .

Years has gone by, its once high carbon steel blade has transmutated to the hardest metal unknown to man while maintaining its flexibility. Its hilt, once plain, is now adorned by the finest jewels. Its heart (shaped pommel), once tiny with barely enough magic for its ego, glows with the most brilliant light the world will ever know because of all the pure magic flowing through it.

Its journey has come to an end.
Enlgihs is coming home.

Hurtling fast through the air, cutting through all the wind resistance, eager to get to you, it flew. Past the plains, across the oceans, over the mountains, it retraces its steps to the one that is destined to hold it close.

There! In the horizon, it spots you and calls out your name @wonderer !
You look up and you see it flying towards you. You open arms wide in welcome.
Enlgihs cries out in glee and flies even faster.

With a loud and wet SHHUUUUK it goes through your mouth into your bowels, nice and snug.

Enlgihs the moon severing sword and @wonderer the stupid human(?) scabbard has finally come together.

You got your better(half) Enlgihs now, don't complain about them again, okay?

-the end-

I wish i knew what the hell made me write that.

 

Granted.

You realize you wrote that because it is your calling in life. Your classmates have lofty pursuits—cure cancer, raise a family, achieve nirvana. But for you, your purpose is to dither time away on NUF. You post and post, and old forum faces leave, replaced by new ones. You post and post, and the leaving population is a gush while the incoming population is a trickle. Soon, you are the last one standing. There'll be no one to corrupt your wish but yourself.

I wish I was immortal.

 

Granted.

Every other living thing on the planet dies and you are left alone to starve and suffer in your loneliness for all eternity.

i wish i got into university