The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System fan fiction

I wonder if she'll even like Hannibal's cooking. Because, even if he's truly an amazing cook, the meat is from sapiens, even if they're beasts too.

 

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my womb is still melting, fairy....
Aoguang's too formidable. And sub M is.... [holds tissue to stem blood]

 

Finally, the continuation of Wang An's love story (..of sort). Wu Guen and Ao Jiang being all tsun-tsun. Yunying who seem to be quite traumatize via being eaten by Wang An ( I keep comparing him to a rabbit that wont stop shivering ).
Waiting (im)patiently for the smut (Their wedding nights,ah. Gimme their wedding nights smuts!!!!!)




Also, Great Fairy @Gav
Want to Point out a typo:
That and Wang An's (frankly suspicious!) willingness to be discreet, accomodating and even polite towards his prospective in-laws eventually won the day, since the Ao, Jiang and Lian extended families had quickly figured out that Wang An's taking their cousins or nephews as brides meant that they would, firstly no longer be competitors for existing family assets and secondly, the marriage was clearly bringing in a good alliance that could be a shady tree to shelter them and excellent new assets their families could profit from. As a result, they were quite willing to gently maneuver the prospective brides in the direction that they felt would profit them.

Shouldn't it be Wu instead of Jiang?

 

Thanks. Gonna fix that.

 

Spoiler: Fate/Stay Neet

***
Shen Jiu was having a no good, very bad day.

He had been dragged into a bullshit formation array ceremony that was called the Holy Grail War. This wasn't actually a war. It was a ceremony wherein one representative from each of the big sects and some so-called 'lucky' non-sect cultivators were given the chance to summon Heroic or Villainous spirits of great reknown in order to fight it out over an artifact that granted wishes.

The problem was, Shen Jiu was a non-sect cultivator and so was his closest friend, Yue Qi.

Shen Jiu hadn't even wanted to be involved with the grail war, but he had been caught in a suddenly appearing summoning array and...

And the first thing his Servant did was try to murder his best friend.

Shen Jiu could only throw himself between the summoned spirit and Yue, using his very first command seal to make his Servant stop trying to kill Yue.

As he got stabbed, he managed to use his second command seal to force through a huge contract which basically made sure his Servant could not harm or kill Yue and forced the unknown Servant to protect him and Yue, to never try to harm or kill them.

Only after he managed to force those through was he able to find out who Binghe really was.

After that, Shen Jiu could only complain bitterly that about every other summoner was getting heroic or villainous spirits of reknown that weren't psycopaths, why did he get stuck with the crazy bastard who wants to murder his BROTHER AND BEST FRIEND FOR NO REASON HE CAN DISCERN?!

Naturally, this had put him completely on edge. He could only fuss over Yue and frantically keep track of the rest of the factions of the grail war.

It was fairly clear that he was no match for them, and his Servant was unreliable. Clearly, all of them going into hiding was the best possible decision.

Luo Binghe was not happy to learn that apparently the summoner ends up with the summoned hero or villain most suited to them. Which meant he was most suited to Shen Qingqiu. Or rather, Shen Jiu as he was known.

In addition, the last seal could be used to force him to self detonate and Shen Jiu told him outright that if he tried to break the first and second command seals, then the third command seal would be used to destroy his soul.

The winner of the Grail war could be granted any wish they desired. Originally, Shen Jiu had a wish he wanted to be granted, but this wish could no longer be granted with Binghe as his Servant.

Shen Jiu said bitterly he had no way of winning this holy grail war because he had the most unreliable Servant ever.

Luo Binghe was offended by that and said sarcastically that it was probably because Shen Jiu wanted to use his wish to make everyone miserable and now Binghe was here to stop him. Of course, he regretted his words right after he had said them. Hadn't he promised himself that he would try to make things better between them this time around if he had a second chance? This was his second chance. He had to try harder.

Shen Jiu bitterly stated that Luo Binghe couldn't be further from the truth.

"In the past I was adopted by a rich family, the Qius. Their only daughter, Qiu Haitang, was like a baby sister to me. The two sons and the parents were sick, human trafficking, drug dealing, sadistic fucks."

Shen Jiu took a shuddering breath. "She died in the fire that killed the rest of the family after the police found evidence to convict them and the trafficked slaves revolted."

The sheer amount of bitter loathing in his voice when Shen Jiu said his next words made Binghe frown.

"I want my baby sister back. The grail will grant wishes for the winners of the war. Unfortunately instead of getting goddamn Sun Wukong, I'm stuck with you."

The Holy Grail array had originally been set up by the Huan Hua palace head. He had fielded a clone of his late beloved student, Su Xiyan for this Grail War.

The original Su Xiyan had summoned the Demon King Tian Lang Jun as her servant during the first Grail war. They had eloped together before she had been killed.

The current candidate for Cang Qiong Mountain sect was a Shang Qinghua, who had accidentally contracted the Demon Prince Mo Bei Jun.

With such powerhouses in the ring, Shen Jiu only wanted to stay out of the whole catastrophe.

It didn't help that the moment a Servant and Master declared themselves, they were put under constant attack by other heroic spirits and summoners.

Shen Jiu did the only thing he could do under these circumstances. He stocked up on food and drinks, bought a ton of dvds of rom coms and set up massive wards all over his property. Then he, Yue Qi and his new Servant went hikkikomori with Netflix and dvds for the entire Grail War.

One of the worst parts about being in hiding for the unforeseeable future in Shen Jiu's estimation was that his Servant followed him everywhere. Even waiting for him outside the toilet.

If that wasn't bad enough, his Servant insisted on using him as a cuddlepillow. And he could do nothing.

Worse, Yue Qi encouraged his Servant because he believed his brother needs more hugs.

Shen Jiu did not want more hugs from that guy, okay?!

The only hugs he needed were from Yue! Naturally this led to him using Yue Qi as a cuddlepillow as he himself was used by Binghe as a cuddlepillow.

Since they were all undercover, this basically meant Shen Jiu had to drive them around and get Binghe normal clothes for this era.

Binghe got hooked on fluffy dramas. This led to puzzling behavior such as insisting on cooking for Shen Jiu and trying to give him presents.

Sometimes these presents were still squirming, beaten up demon beasts.

Meanwhile, the Huan Hua Palace head was infuriated because there were supposed to be 7 heroes but he could only find 6. That meant someone had to summon again.

Of course the real reason the Huan Hua Palace head couldn't find the seventh hero was that Shen Jiu kept ignoring his attempts to stage a heroic grail fight to lure out the last remaining summoner.

The good thing was that Luo Binghe, who had come from Cang Qiong's Qing Jing in his original world, had figured out how to resurrect people in his attempts to raise his Shen Qingqiu from the dead.

That meant that Qiu Haitang did get resurrected. But because she had died so early in life, she was only 12 when she was reincarnated and still called Shen Jiu big brother.

She was adorable which explained why Shen Jiu had been so traumatized by her death. She was the baby of the family.

Now, Shen Jiu was acting like a mother hen with two chicks, Yue Qi and Qiu Haitang.

Since Haitang wanted to be a pretty princess, Luo Binghe got to see Shen Jiu indulging her constantly. (It was so cute!)

Finally, the huan hua palace head believed at last there was no seventh summoner. He then attempted to get the most easily bullied representative to summon a seventh hero, intending to kill them off to fuel the last stage of the Grail.

Except he miscalculated.

Shang Qinghua had basically made a deal with Tian Lang Jun years before.

In exchange for helping him get the holy grail, Shan Qinghua would get to leave the sect and retire in safety with a massive fortune.

He only ever got roped into this because his father's original intended successor went missing, anyway.

And now, he had a strong backer in the form of Mo Bei Jun. Mo Bei Jun who had been married to Qinghua's counterpart and had seen him die because his cultivation was far lower than Mo Bei Jun's own.

There was no way Mo Bei Jun was going to let his waifu die this time.

Actually, why not have two wives and resurrect his own deceased male wife? Two Hua'ers were better than one, right?

Tian Lang Jun had been working all this time to resurrect his Su Xiyan, having collected energy and spirits from the past grail war and this one.

With the death of Huan Hua Palace's Immortal Chen, the path was wide open.

 

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..............I don't know what to comment......
The fact that there is a Grail War in cultivation world....
The fact that Binghe became a Heroic/Demonic Spirit...
The fact that Jiu choose the hikkikomori route.....
The fact that Binghe learn courting/wooing tips from rom-com dramas...
The fact that Huan Hua Palace Sect Head is still a creep no matter which world...
The fact that Su Xiyan still end up dead via her own teacher....
The fact that Mo Jun Bei wants to have a harem of Shan Qinghua....
The fact that I'm not even surprise that all the Qius (except Haitang) are sick bastards...
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......can I ask for a crossover with Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin)?

 

Pffffft. what the hell.

 

Sorry @Gav it has been so long, I have been neck deep in PhD stuff. I'm on the right track now so expect to see more of me soon!

 

Catch up soon!

 

Will do, I will also be back on discord

 

/waits for @TanarWater to come back.

 

I'm back....(sorry for the long break)

 

it is fine. /waits for you to catch up.

 

Right... I have caught up (it only took me two days)
I have so much stuff to squeee over.
The Star Wars plot was brilliant, I am such a SW fan that when you brought out "I am your father" I burst out laughing.
That along with the Pikachu which was just a wonderful cherry on top.

With regards to Luo Binghe's character development and multiverse exploration - I am actually really enjoying it. The way he has come to realise what he did wrong was so horrible. Not only to G but to the original, and having deep introspection of his own character flaws. Along with his new mission to kill the warped versions of himself. All I can say there is, warning, you cannot hide it all from Shizun forever.

The failed tsundere courting of a reluctant M saga continues, pleas at some point pass him a bone. I utterly adore the fluffy YueG couple but I am seriously suffering for LQ.

On the matters of courting Wang An's brides and his pampering of them is cute/sexy. I love his kink for having his 'wifes' all dressed up and cared for. This is in direct contrast to Aouguang, the unwitting Dom S who has attracted a super Sub M. Seriously, he has so much to learn with that mess. Especially now Shifu is on his case, at least he got aftercare right there. Both these guys along with Dewei's HHYL bandit 'conquering' are absolute treats.

Other notes I took while reading are "Adorable protective Yue is adorable", and "Wonderful adventures of a fellow foodie Su Xiyan".
I think I need to read from the beginning at some point because I have fuzzy memories of some of the buns plot points, I am also making an excel spreadsheet to keep track of the major characters.

 

Comments for the rereads?

 

I see..

 

Iam done~

 

As I thought! Becoming a Neet is the best way to live! Hikkimori Life go!

 

Womb..................................
Eggsy.........
What a.....'unique' choice of words there........umu

 

/pokes @c0c0ly
Have you caught up and finished reading the fic up to this point?