I've always had trouble writing things in a timely manner because I continually second guess myself, so this is my attempt to write something in thirty minutes before I have to start getting ready for work. Naturally, this is going to be terrible. It was the worst of times and it was also the worst of times. Alvin Sedgewick wanted nothing more than to bury his head beneath the sandy gravel. Unfortunately, as usual, his face wouldn't go any lower than scraping off the top layer. "Hey Alvin. Screwing the ground again today?" "Fuck off, Pete. Linda's gonna kill me, I forgot our anniversary again." "Again? You've only been dating a year, though?" "You know what I mean!" Pete admonished Alvin, "C'mon, dude, all you gotta do is go get her a present." With that, he dragged Alvin up by the collar and started pulling him along out of the apartment complex. "You wanna call an Uber?" "Nah, you know it's too fuckin' expensive." After a brief period of argument, the two of them finally settled on going back to the apartment basement and "borrowing" some children's bikes. Pete chose the red one, as was his wont, and Alvin settled for blue, not in the least because that was the only other bike left unchained. Making their way downtown, biking fast, faces pass, and they're homebo.....wait no. In any case, half an hour of biking later, they found themselves in front of Claude's, high-end jeweler's and gathering spot for all manner of absolute cunts, or so Alvin would describe it. "Bro, just get her that gold necklace." "Fuck, man, I ain't touching this shit. That's my rent next month." "Can't help you if you can't help yourself." "Dammit." Alvin reluctantly pulled out his wallet and told the shop assistant that he'd take the necklace. "Snooty bitch," Alvin cursed the assistant out under his breath. After they completed the transaction, Alvin and Pete went outside and started mounting their bikes. However, at that point, Pete punched Alvin, grabbed the necklace, and rode off into the sunset midday sun. Face down in the dirt, Alvin again contemplated the poor life choice and terrible taste in friends that had led him to this point. "Hey Alvin. Screwing the ground again today?" "Fuck off, David."
Well then, To be completely honest that was pretty good, for a story written in thirty minutes or less on the spot
This could be a challenge, xD Mind if I treat it like one? Just lemme set the timer. But before that, the theme! Theme shall be... lets say, A man lost in a desert. Genre being fantasy. Timer set! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was lost in this vastness called earth. In the sand I was wondering for hundreds of years, and running out of energy, I collapsed. "This is simply inhuman!" I complained. Not that I was a human, but who the heck even judges these punishments? To seriously be thrown into the greatest labyrinth of all time for a small crime... I hate them and most of all, I hate myself. I was stupid back then, and it took me far too long to truly understand how stupid I actually was. I held no regard for the laws of the ones called primals, killing and pillaging as I wished... I was stupid. That said, that was hundreds of years ago, nothing but a distant memory of the past. An ugly scar that I had to face everyday, most likely for the rest of my life. "I simply don't believe how there can be anyone who has managed to escape this place..." I lamented. I was on the verge of insanity and mind the fact I was a robot! Leading an armed rebellion was a piece of cake compared to surviving a single day here. Worst yet? I could feel everything just like a normal human could. It was maddening, grueling, but I didn't want to give up. I was not someone who gave up easily. "Shit!" Focusing in front of me, I noticed some figures visible in the distance. Argh, other entities here was your absolute worse enemy. Never knowing what they had to offer, and more often than not, they were hostile. Can't find solace with guys like these. I wanted to turn to the other way, but it seemed they too had noticed me and were heading towards my location. I mean, it wouldn't hurt to see them, right? If I wasn't strong, I wouldn't have lead an armed rebellion in the first place. It's been a few years since the last time I saw another person. "Hi there, Brother!" The man leading in front yelled. A small team of four people... people whom I knew. "Brother is too close for our relationship. Maybe friend next time?" I replied, giving no looks to the other confused three. I didn't know them either. "Haha, you're too reserved!" He said in response. His face always full of smiles ndsmiles joy... it's a wonder how he can still keep that attitude after so long. "So, what are you doing here? I remember you were wondering almost opposite to this direction." He would say it was searching for a way out, but in my eyes, it was simple wondering all over the place. He had even picked up some company. "Huh? So you don't know?!" He said, surprise visible in his voice. "They say the exit has finally been found!" The heck?! My surprise was notable, as anyone else would be. "Mmh, unfortunately they also say it leads to a different planet than this one, so no returning back to where we came from. However, at this point I'm ready to accept anything and everything other than this place." He explained. Of course, my enthusiasm wained, but I too couldn't bear it here any longer. He stretched his hand, and I took it. No way I'm spending another second on this hellhole. Other world, here I come! "Hehe" 'Darn, his smile is infectious.' I thought, unable to keep my grin from spreading. I hope the other world has magic robots can use instead of this one.
In less than 30 minutes!!! Yay! Finally finished... it was hard writing something that would end within the time limit.
I clocked 29 minutes from start to finish, if I'm remembering the time correctly. I don't think I was necessarily aiming for comedy per se, it was more like, by giving myself a time constraint I was forced to create something that flowed naturally, which turned out to be fairly comedic in tone. Might be an exercise in finding your most natural voice as a writer? *shrug* You also managed to write a lot more than I did I'm actually pretty impressed if you managed to do some planning and then write all that because I started with absolutely no idea what I was writing or where I was going and pretty much adlibbed every line. The part where Pete robbed him was entirely something I made up in a blind panic as I noticed it was almost time to get up for work. It was only later in the shower that I realized I had actually made Pete something of manipulative sociopath, convincing Alvin to go out and buy a valuable that he could easily rob. Plus Alvin, as someone riding a stolen bike (and being someone who would easily decide to steal a bike) probably wouldn't go to the police. But, uh, yeah, that was totally unintentional on my part, even if I totally think it should be the correct interpretation.
The only planning that I made was the theme and the genre. Everything else just unraveled on it's own. I hadn't even made the character a robot until the later half of the time limit! I was writing a bit blind, because I wanted to finish the story at the 30 minutes or less, and at the final 10 minutes I was looking at the time every 3 minutes. I thought about him returning back to his own world, but then that would be "anticlimactic" and plotholish... so I made it into another world. I also thought it would be nice to mention magic, because other lifeforms would need some explanation as to how they survived, and I thought I could blame it all to magic. I also insinuated that the labyrinth is a different world than the one the robot came from. So many things happened at the last minute, lol. Writing with a time limit was fun.