Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you have to do it in that white van with the creepy guy following you.... There is no such thing as a free meal

I wish I could have the ability to Time travel at will.

 

Granted, but your will is just an illusion granted to you by a higher being, you now know that but there's nothing you can do about it.

I wish for fireworks.

 

granted, but you are strapped to it while is being lighted

I wish for a pet

 

Granted but your pet rock is dead.

I wish I could freeze and unfreeze time at will, and travel around freely

 

Granted, but the idea when you freeze time your physical body is inflicted with enormous amounts of pain.

I wish I could reincarnate in a fantasy world

 

Granted, but it's as a community bathroom sponge

I wish I could joy ride in a fighter jet.

 

Granted but you end up puking a lot
I wish I could go for a dive

 

Granted but since you didn't specify what kind of dive, the next person who you walk near will trip you viciously.

I wish I didn't have to go to the oral surgeon tomorrow

 

granted, but it was pushed foward to today

I wish to travel around the world

 

Granted but it's the globe you had in elementary school

I wish I could go to my favorite bands concert

 

granted, but you had to resort to stealing a ticket from a random stranger

I wish for a sunny day

 

Granted but you're teleported to death valley for it.

I wish I could slow down time at will but be uneffected by it.

 

granted, through abusing your powers, you become a old man at the age of 30

I wish to see the past

 

Granted but by doing so you cannot see the present leaving you blind

I wish I could never turn 30 >_>

 

granted, but you lose the ability to become a wizard

I wish for a kid

 

Granted but it's not yours and the police are after you.

I wish I could Jedi mind trick people

 

granted, but it only works on one person at a time

I wish to reach the further-est edges of the universe

 

I wish to have a world tour.

 

Granted it's an endless void expending forever, an endless journey.

I wish to stop whishing

 

granted, but it ends with a splat

I wish to go to the beach