Discussion Why I don't like Harem

As I was reading this topic i thought about it and thought the idea of harem was based off domination. What i mean by domination isn't some SM play but the idea of controlling. As a guy I feel it is natural to protect and feed my partner and children. the prospect of "protecting" and "supporting" my partner is part of my desire for control or domination As it means my partner will be reliant on me. As a desire for domination inside me, I want to think that being able to support multiple partners will show my ability as a man. In such a harem, the man is the one who dominates while the women are the submissive party. In a reverse harem these roles are reversed where the woman is the dominant party while the men are submissive. As one on the side of domination it feels weird to see other men as submissive which results in my dislike of it. I ask that you please note: this is my opinion based on my view as a guy, my personal view is one man and one wife is plenty, and I want my wife to be my partner. Honestly i find what I wrote to be a bit of a mess, but I hope the meaning still gets through.

 

Wouldn't any harem novel with a trap character count?

 

What novel is that? I could give it a shot

 

I don´t like harem and I don´t like romance in general when the mc is a man exept for bl. The females are usally stupid and simple. There are good ones but not that many. I perfer love triangle over harem even revesd harem everytime.
(feel like my english died a bit but hopfully my point comes a cross.)

 

reading your post, i'd agree with you but i also disagree with you.

simply because you've not read a good harem novel.
most of those points you talked about just do not exist in a good harem. sure, there will be some disagreements but eventually they will realise that they are a family....or just kill each other while fighting for the throne = good harem.

anyway i've never read a good cn harem novel...like you said, they are just there to be left alone.
even the er gen, IET novels which everyone here loves can't even write a novel where the romance is good and/or the wife actually play a part in the story and not get left out so yea, hah-rem.

 

.... Couldn't find a harem thread? You didn't look that hard did yah. There has been many started here in novel general, and many more in general chat. Hell the last couple were about polyandry(female with male harem) specifically!

From what I read of your opening post it's apparent you read a lot of cultivation novels. Honestly they have the worst setting when it comes to harems and human rights in general. The weak are devoured, and women are treated more like trophies or possessions. It's just an all round hard time for anyone that doesn't have the ability to potect themselves. All in all, other than fan service or the occasional kidnapping plot device, the women are just background noise. In general, cultivation novels treat the protag's flavor of the month harem rather poorly. Its one of the main reasions I stopped reading them.

Most Japanese harems( outside of hentai ) tend to revolve around an over powered but weak willed or super dense protag and the women in the guise of a gaggle of circling vultures. The whole point is to build tension and give the reader a love / hate view of the different harem members. The loli, the tsundere, the shy one with glasses and huge boobs, and the sporty gal, are but a few of the typical heroines that the reader will want to make the wifu. So while women will smother the MC with their love and affection, they will not cross the line so they will remain pure for the reader to insert himselves as the target of their favored wifu's affection.

Then you have the hentai version of a harem. This type can use either of the above settings but either by special power, charisma, or just outright force they capture their targets and proceed to have their way with them. As the focus is sex, the plot and by extension depth of the characters tends to suffer. *shrug*

Honestly my view of a functional harem is one where the harem members love each other as much as the focus of the harem. This doesn't mean there won't be fights, or serious issues between members, but it does mean that have a vested interest in solving those issues so they don't fester into something that damages the whole family.

Tldr! I think your reading to many (cn) cultivation novels if you're expectations are a cohesive and proper harem. If you want my recommendation for a decent harem novel, here are a few I've really enjoyed so far.

Three Square Meals
I'll be blunt, this novel is smut, so there is lots of graphic sex involved. That's not to say it's a bad novel though. The plot gets can be a little thin at times but over all the author does a good job with world building, character depth, and the general story line.
Mushoku Tensei
This is your typical reincarnated into a magic world novel. Good story over all but while the harem isn't the main focus, it's still done correctly. There are some parts that are sexual in nature, but generally kept areound the r15 level.
Atros Imperium
This one has the MC transmigrate to a fantasy world. The author is good at character depth, world building and general story line. So far we don't have a harem yet. But it's obviously heading that direction with two firmly involved, one strong contender and few potential additions being foreshadowed. So far any sexual interactions have behind the scenes. Think there is some foreplay and light petting, but in general things quickly fade to black.

 

Not quite, cause in most they don't know the real sex of the trap, and when it comes out it's a girl (cause yeah, that's the usual trope) they magically are not gay anymore (or "gay just for you even if you were a man" and that's not bad but… you know, that's kinda NOT what i want). So duh. I would like a REAL bi setting, with MC that's openly bi, or the ML/FL, whatever, but they should be not confused as they are in most novel with traps. Just, I would like them bi from the start!

If you wanna try, it's a trilogy, called The Kushiel Legacy (first book: The Kushiel Dart). If you wanna try a world where mostly everyone in a country is potentially bi (while there are obviously still characters that prefer a sex or the other, so it's realistic in that aspect), you should try it! It's really well written. Good plot too.

 

Novels have intended demographic. Harem novels are intended for men, and more precisely - men who like harem. You'll find plenty of women reading those novels because they like the premise, xianxia, action, the MC, whatever. They usually put up with the harem and in rare occasions may like having a harem in the novel. Some male authors may notice this and introduce more romance or make their MC more sensible when dealing with his women, or other adjustments, but they don't have to. In the end, I'm not into it, so I don't read it. Let the people who are the intended demographic read it. The reason harems exist is to stroke the male's ego (MC's and readers living vicariously through MC) and also to satisfy the conquering and collection urges. Something that usually can't happen in reality, but fantasy makes everything possible. That's why I say, let them be and either try to tolerate it for the sake of the novel, or search for non-harem ones. I don't want my polyandry novels and yaoi novels to lessen because someone else is not into them.

 

Well I only read harems in BL but they all made me feel confused... Most especially the person who ended with the protagonist. I hate being confused in the story bcoz feels so troublesome. I prefer stories where the couple find themselves at their worst and at their best of times

I usually avoid hetero harems. I have a feeling that women there.. are usually submissive and will continually chase the guy no matter what. I read a harems once and I felt it was all disturbing. I was brought up by strong women so I was quite surprised why those female characters act like that

When I read this post, I never thought I was not the only one. But I don't seem to have hard feelings the those who likes to read it, I also like to read BL/Shonen ai/Yaoi no matter how twisted it is.

 

Sorry for replying so late, I'm currently in my term finals and I'm dying. Okay, as a reply, my view has been warped slightly, except my point of not liking harems has further deep-rooted in my head.


Honestly, this is your opinion, you are free to like harem whatsoever, I'm just having a debate here and I'm going to still point out why I don't agree with most of you. Also note is that I don't like reverse harem as well, I just don't like one person surrounded with countless people.

(ULTRA NOTE: I hate the concubine system, no you can't make me like it, wtf is the ranking of wives? Go wash your head with bleach.)

(I'll also update my main post with these points, except this reply will have more detail.

Humans are thinking, logical beings, not sentient creatures.
I feel like most of the people blamed evolution for the liking of harems. No, you claimants might be right, man can have more offspring than women, but even logically this didn't make sense to me. I'm sorry. call me dense whatever, but isn't "blaming it on how we evolved" seriously absurd? Honestly, if we were like that, women's rights, homosexual rights wouldn't have appeared because of the narrow-mindedness of ancient society, and if we say that "we did it before" and not think differently and use logic and be like "Oh wait, this isn't right." Just because a man was genetically and physically more dominant than the fairer sex doesn't mean that right now it should be the same. Because we've learnt to think more than our physical difference in form and physical capabilities. So, stop blaming it on evolution.

Another point is that, it's a known fact that there were fewer females than males in the ratio of the sexes, which made it quite apparent that many still think that women are prizes to be taken home.

"Because plot. They are refreshing."

Though I agree that these are just stories written by people, tell me, how many of you did not feel an emotional attachment to your MC? Honestly, most of us read books because resonate and compare experiences, it's basically increasing our emotional intelligence and improving cognitive thinking. That's why people beg for "CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!"

Opinion warning:
What I think is that people use harem characters with different personalities as refreshing, and I think that it shows that an author has to make them close enough to the MC to show personality flavors which entice the audience, and the best way is again, harem.

Wish-fulfillment.
This one's obvious. My wish is that they don't have, while yours is, they should have.

Emotions of the harem members

Do you think that harem members will be free from jealousy, living harmoniously, the MC only chooses women who will view all his wives as sisters of bond and flesh?

If you look at it from an outsider perspective, it's exactly what you call "catfight".


I read Martial World a long time ago, when the MC after meeting disaster with Leviathan and then rescuing his second wife, and right before their marriage (before the MC and his friends from the demon world, I don't remember) go to the crown lands or something to explore, this was what I found so upsetting.

The MC literally took the weaker (former strongest girl) as his wife because I think she risked her life for him and he infused her with phoenix blood and that Mu Qianyu (or the main descendant on the Phoenix island...) was the stronger girl who the MC actually fell in love with??? Since people persuaded him to take the girl as his wife he did, and married the second girl before her and lost his innocence with Mu Qianyu with her there who was forced to accept it.

GET IT!?


This is why I hate harem. Sorry not sorry.