Corrupt a Wish

I should have expected that...

Granted, but you have narcolepsy instead.

I wish I could predict the future with perfect accuracy.

 

Granted, however every time you look into the future you cause a natural disaster and the only things you can see are things caused by you.

I wish I was popular

 

Granted, but you're popular among the dregs of society only.

I wish I was an armadillo.

 

granted, but armadillo but surge in demand by chinese medical consumers and got over-hunted to extinction...

i wish politicians cannot lie or else they die.

 

granted, but people only realize how the curse works after everyone's dead

I wish for the ability to clone other people

 

than all the lying politicians are dead, so if any politician is alive than they preach the truth? that wish hasn't been corrupted enough...cause believe it or not, there are politicians out there that can lie without telling a single lie...

granted, but they are empty husk, or they dissolve 10 sec after forming...

i wish for a newer pc or laptop

 

Granted, but it breaks after a few days.

I wish there was justice for Nyan's avatar

 

granted, deemed guilty and sent to the guillotine...

i wish for it to rain gold dust....

 

Granted. Get ready to get doomed, Water Wars is knocking at your broken door.

I wish for a pat

 

why water war?

granted, but each pat causes balding on you hair... prepare for monk style....

i wish for all the money in the world...

 

(If it rains gold from where are you supposed to get fresh water?)

Granted, money becomes illegal.

I wish to go and take a shower

 

underground.. duh.... lelll...

granted, but no clean water nearby, you had to take a shower with sewer water... ewwwww.....

i wish for wish fulfillment irl for me...

 

Granted. You find fulfillment for a day. You spend the rest of your life obsessed with finding that fulfillment again. You cast aside friends, family, love, and morals in this futile pursuit. Upon your deathbed you realise you had cast aside creating your own fulfillment to chase after an artificial one that was teased in front of you. After you die you realise your ruined life granted the being which started this whole mess fulfillment instead.

I wish I could converse with animals

 

granted, but then you understood that all along, they plot for humanity downfall... and you try telling this to the world but everybody just look at you like a mad man.. the rest, you could imagine yourself...

i wish for a story with zero plot hole and illogical plot armor....

 

Granted, but now no story can ever match up to that one and reading is not as enjoyable as it once was. No matter what tale you read, all you feel is an unbearable lack of je ne sais quoi. Slowly, you get obsessed with finding another book of that caliber and your abysmal lack of success drives you slowly but surely mad.

I wish that I could instantly summon any food of my choosing to snack on.

 

granted, but the cost is taken from your saving/bank or whatever of value you have at random and its tripled without you noticing... by the time you do notice, you were left broke....

i wish for a decent superpower...

 

Granted, but everyone else gets an amazing super power. This drives you to have an enormous inferiority complex and lose all self confidence.

I wish for impecably coifed hair at least once a week.

 

granted, but the other six days, you are cursed to balding, so the stylish day gradually lose all meaning...

i wish for a safer world.

 

Granted, but this causes a boom in population and increased rate of consumption that the world just can’t handle. In the end, the environment is destroyed while trying to keep up and the masses end up starving, thirsty, and without shelter. The 1% take advantage of this and create an even wider gap and basically, to cut the story short, it all ends up as a dystopia.

I wish that my roommate’s fish would stop dying, or their plants, or both.

 

granted, but your roomate thinks he's special and kept buying larger fishes and plants turning you living place into a marsh/aquatic environ, then come the bugs, breeding like they own the place... then things kept escalating.... until.... dun dun dunnnnn.....

i wish the best for everybody...