Novel A Returnee Wants to Play VRMMO

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by matanyaman, May 8, 2019.

?

what do you think of the novel?

  1. Good.

    22.2%
  2. Bad.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Not bad but need improvement .

    77.8%
  1. matanyaman

    matanyaman Well-Known Member

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    A Returnee Wants to Play VRMMO

    Chapters: 8 including the prologue.
    https://www.webnovel.com/book/13262524805242405/A-Returnee-Wants-to-Play-VRMMO

    At long last, MC defeated the final enemy that was threatening the world he was summoned to countless years ago and fulfill his wish to return to his homeworld... only to realize that it has changed as well. But, none of this matter to him since his wish all along was to play games and laze around. Especially now, that there is finally an opportunity to fulfill his wish of playing VRMMORPG, nothing will stand in his way to play it how that he likes.

    "So, I can get one of the greatest Class there is huh... don't want it! it only has one profession slot!."

    "Hey! World Boss! Can't you see I'm in the middle of gathering ingredients? go scram somewhere else before I get angry"

    "What? You want me to join your Guild and help you rule the game?. Hell no! That too much work, I prefer to go on adventures!"

    Join Nex who don't want to fight and be the protagonist anymore, on his grand ambition of life full of games and leisure!

    Any reviews will be welcomed!

    Table of Contents:
    Prologue
    Chapter 1
    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3
    Chapter 4
    Chapter 5
    Chapter 6
    Chapter 7
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2019
  2. Darkaeluz

    Darkaeluz 『Whosays25 Onii-chan』, 『He who gave up on Love』

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    I'll give it a try, but the summary sounds like one of those cringy self insert OP Chinese fantasy...
     
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  3. EienMugetsuTensho

    EienMugetsuTensho [Avid Reader] [C#, C++, Python Programmer]

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    There are some grammar errors. There are more but I don't have time to fix them, gotta get to work.
     
  4. MinxMean

    MinxMean Member

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    The premise look interesting tho.
    I would give a try.
     
  5. rhianirory

    rhianirory Well-Known Member

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    you are in serious need of a proofreader/ editor but some of the ideas are interesting
     
  6. Deleted member 155674

    Deleted member 155674 Guest

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    The idea is good but lots of grammatical and few orthographic errors :hmm:, are you writing in a hurry or something :blobunsure:?
    Just an advice mate: make sure to re-read what you write before you publish :blobsmilehappy: and perhaps read what you publish sometimes as it helps seeing the novel from the reader's point of view rather than the writer's and thus, you might find other changes that you might want to do :blobsweat_2:
     
  7. matanyaman

    matanyaman Well-Known Member

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    sorry about that. it's just that I don't know anyone else that read novels, not to mention one that knows English as good as me.
     
  8. matanyaman

    matanyaman Well-Known Member

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    I meant in real life obviously.
     
  9. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    Reminds me too much of The Returner which was just wasted potential and bad comedy.
    I am pissed off that he refused to do anything.
    No goals nothing.
    So I am too angry to read your story but best of luck

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-returner/
     
  10. matanyaman

    matanyaman Well-Known Member

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    Although there are some similarity to this series. Do note that the story will mainly focus on the VRMMORPG aspect.
     
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  11. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    Will the game affect real life?
    I recommend novels line Devil's Cage for research
    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-devil-cage/
     
  12. matanyaman

    matanyaman Well-Known Member

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    not exactly as it isn't some kind of death game, but I can't explain more as it will spoil the story.