Hey I don't really know what to do at these things or in these situations. The last time someone close to me died, it was my great grandad when I was like 3, so I don't really remember it. Now that I'm 24, it...it feels different. You know? I wanna do this here, instead of at the funeral and have your family see my snot-nosed face. I don't wanna bother them. It's hard, but...you know how hard it is for me to think of what to say. I'm a mess. When I heard that you had gone ahead and left...I actually cried. Like a friggin set of waterworks. I was dealing with a whole lot of emotions. Sadness. Loss. Maybe a little relief that I'm not a cold heartless prick. But at least you went while you were asleep. It pains me that you, a family man that was only 4 years older than my dad, left this world so quickly. Even now, I wonder how your two little girls will take this. You always said that they were rowdy and rambunctious, huh? I guess I gotta get them something, later. Maybe not. They don't know my face, after all. But... I'm sorry. It is still hard to not cry. You were their fucking Santa! Every fucking Christmas you got in that silly red costume and put a smile on everyone's face! Why?! Why did you have to go?! Sorry...I never really showed you how emotional I can get. I always tried to do as you said. You were like a mentor to me. You were cool, everyone loved you, and...I wanted to be just like you. Goddammit I'm a wreck. Hold on. Let me go get my balloons. I think I remember you taking some home for your granddaughters. Ah...shit. I left them in storage when I moved to this new apartment. I guess I will have to give them to you at the funeral somehow.... But I gotta give you a flower, right? I don't really know the etiquette and all, but I wonder which kind of flower you would like. I can make it whatever color you want. Maybe make a few for your family. Heh, maybe even a Santa hat with a beard. I have to say it wasn't one of my best creations, but at least you can tell what it is supposed to be. I guess this helped me a lot. I feel a little better getting this off my chest, so...there's that. I will have to go to work now, knowing that customers are going to complain, wondering where their favorite employee went, but I will try not to cry... Too much, I guess. Heh, you got to leave this place before me. I can't say this might be what you wanted, but...even though you may have been so frustrated with this job that it got you, I think it was because you were so willing to help out. You constantly were helping, coming in to cover or just simply agreeing to whatever the manager said. Why didn't you let me help? Why didn't you take those days off? Oh well. Nothing I do can change anything now, right? I just gotta move on? Isn't that what you would tell me? These things happen? But why did it have to happen? Well...I guess.... Goodbye.
*HUGS* This was a fitting memorial and a good step towards healing for you..... I remember when my dad died...I was such a Daddy's Girl *rolls her eyes*...and I was living overseas at the time.... I thought I would never be happy again, but....it happened with time. Now I write about him and my family's gossip. I'm thinking, if I wrote what I remembered and told it like gossip it would be a fun way to remember a man that meant so much to me. It is the best thing I have ever done. Not only did it help me grieve, it helps keeps his memories alive and I'll be able to pass it down to my whanau....maybe I'm starting a family tradition.... who am I kidding, who will be writing by 2050....we will all be plugged into the internet through human/machine integration. >_> I think you were fortunate to have had someone like that in your life, even for a short time. Focus on those memories, especially while you are grieving now. *BIG HUGS*
I really needed to say it somewhere, but rather than be at the funeral or at home, this feels better. It's a selfish kind of thing though, I understand.
I understand that you feel shit, but it just seems like a poor avenue to dump your feelings in a general all thread. There are more personal avenues, even on NUF itself, to do it.
Condolence, bro.. Hey, instead of thinking about the sad part, think about how that cool old man will express his coolness in the heaven! Heaven got another cool grandpa in their side
I'm sorry, but grief is something that needs to be expressed and sometimes it happens in the most unlikeliest places. It's usually inelegant and ugly. This is where we all need to be understanding of eachother. @Evil_Ginger Psst, remember to give me nuffies for my support. *lols*
*pats and hugs* Just vent it out here. It must feel really shit right now but it shall be alright with time passing.
Felt emotionally messed right now ? Between regret, anger, sadness and loneliness which one the feelings that you keep coming back into ? That after you tried settling down your complex emotional feeling it was the only one that remained or felt stronger than the other ?
It is a sympathy for the family, I guess. When I was a kid, my parent's divorce hit me a lot harder subconsciously than I had ever realized. Growing up having a mom and a dad to hang out and have fun with was fun and I always find myself smiling when I think back to them. Realizing that i won't ever see him again hurts, but not as much as realizing that this next Christmas, Santa will be different for those little girls, that their grandpa will never come back. It is a bigger loneliness than my own since I can still meet my dad every now and then if i so wish. For me, he was a coworker, and i may treat it as him quitting the job and retiring away, but for his family, his wife, his kids, their kids.... Yeah.
So loneliness i guess. Here's the trick to cheer up. Remember his good points. His quirks, his uniqueness, his laugh, whenever he try to cheer you up or cracking a joke ? Remember the good things you've learn from him, remember the things he had personally taught you. Done ? Next step is be proud of him. He had lived up to his age, he has certainly outlived many unfortunate others and he has overcame many things in his life. He is what he have worked for himself and what has his family and friend have best to offers to him and the world you know and had made him who he is. Be proud of him and promise him, made a promise for yourself and for him that you'll do better. Good luck
Hmm first is my condolences Second aren't you quite late in mourning this late Third is a apologies for the second since everybody does mourn their loved one even at old age Fourth a cliche cheer up don't give up or the likes of your gramps will be sad and such The fifth nothing And the sixth is well I wanted to write circle of life