Family trip ranting

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by drealicious, Aug 8, 2019.

  1. drealicious

    drealicious Macho man's wifey

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    Me and my family are going on a trip and I was sooo looking forward to this. That is until now when my sister just said in our group chat that we should have team building / strategizing / planning with these topics
    1) Who am I? What is my purpose?
    2) What is my ideal self?
    3) What are my empowering and limiting beliefs?
    4) How do I break the bad habits?
    5) Master plan for realizing my visions of the future

    And I was like WTF?! whyyyy? NOOO.. I just want to take a break from my mundane life, see some sights and generally have fun WITHOUT some deep sh*t like this. I hate these kinds of talks specially with my family. I am now dreading this part of the trip ugh and if this talk ever start I hope I can move like a ninja and get out. Am I being weird for dreading this? I also hope I'm not the only one who's got someone in their family who always want to have motivational talks or always sending self-improvement videos. I know they mean well but..but..
     
  2. forecast

    forecast [Batoto Veteran] [sakurahana veteran]

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    Don't have one in mine. Sorry for your troubles.
    I think I would avoid that even if its a company mandatory event.
     
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  3. UnGrave

    UnGrave ななひ~^^

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    Pretend to listen, and give basic answers that don't actually say anything. Personally, I don't have to worry about this kind of conversation since I can just use the good ol "let me sleep for a few minutes" trick.
     
  4. forecast

    forecast [Batoto Veteran] [sakurahana veteran]

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    It would still waste a potential "fun" vacation for OP though.


    anyway, where was the destination or activity planned before the motivational stuff was suggested?
     
  5. drealicious

    drealicious Macho man's wifey

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    We are planning a road trip to Vigan, Ilocos in the Philippines. This is our first trip without our parents and my best friend is coming too that's why I'm so looking forward to this.

    Its going to be my birthday too
     
  6. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    Haha atleast you have family that cares and wants to spend time with you. \o/

    Sounds like you can just say, all friendly wise, would it be okay if I can sit this one out? I was looking forward to just chilling and taking in the sights to unwind....As Winnie the Pooh says:

    [​IMG]
     
  7. drealicious

    drealicious Macho man's wifey

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    You're right and I like that saying. I'm probably just getting ahead of myself thinking if I sit that one out, they'll think that I'm not doing anything to improve myself or not being open to criticisms and suggestions.
     
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  8. sgrey

    sgrey Well-Known Member

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    is refusing to do it not an option? say "I don't want to and it makes me uncomfortable" and just go do something else...
     
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  9. sgrey

    sgrey Well-Known Member

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    tbh, it's not your problem what they think and people will think crap regardless of what you do... Just go about doing your thing and don't worry what others think. Unless you have a pattern of destructive behavior, no one should go about telling you what you "have to" do, 'cos you don't have to do anything
     
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  10. drealicious

    drealicious Macho man's wifey

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    thanks. i didn't know i needed this reminder.
    and no pattern of any destructive behavior. i'm just passive most of the time
     
  11. sgrey

    sgrey Well-Known Member

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    I also don't like these kinds of social gatherings where you need to tell people who you are and what purpose in life you have. If I have to participate, like in school or at work, I just say some generic crap and move on.
    If you can ditch it, I just do. And I find it weird to do this in the circle of friends and family. Does your family not know who you are?
    Get yourself a t-shirt like these and wear it. And mean it too lol I have one and it's amazingly effective
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    I would just talk to your sister. She probably knows your personality and what your looking forward to on this vacation. She more than likely already has these insight and want to share. I would be honest. Sis to be honest I was hoping to relax and have fun. These questions are to heavy to be answered without careful thoughts. I hope to not burden my mind with these thoughts and enjoy this vacation with friend and my big sis.

    Personally I would give funny answers.
    1. Your sister. To be a pain.
    2. Live through this vacation without being bogged down by heavy minded philosophy.
    3. My empowerment is my friend. My limit is my sister.
    4. I don’t have any bad habits. I’m perfect.
    5. A stiff drink.

    You could always reverse it. Give her questions instead of answers. Let her get bogged down by her own questions.
    The real question is~
    1) Who are you? What is your purpose?
    2) What is your ideal self?
    3) What are your empowering and limiting beliefs?
    4) How do you break the bad habits?
    5) Master plan for realizing your visions of the future?
    If she starts to converse with you. Just give bland answers like “ interesting “ or “ I agree “. Or the best answers are like “ It depends “. I also like using my favorite quotes like “ All questions can be answered in TIME “.

    Whatever you choose I hope you have fun.
     
  13. sgrey

    sgrey Well-Known Member

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    this can be fun, but can spectacularly backfire
     
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  14. drealicious

    drealicious Macho man's wifey

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    Its funny that I told my friend about this and she was like "what are we? a company?" hahaha
    Nice shirts! I really am going to get myself these!
     
  15. drealicious

    drealicious Macho man's wifey

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    i like this but i'm a chicken to even try this hahaha
     
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  16. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    I’ll break it down for you
    Sis to be honest I was hoping to relax and have fun.
    Honestly can be appreciated by everyone, especially in a considerate way.

    These questions are to heavy to be answered without careful thoughts.
    Even your sister will understand these questions are not simple. She will also understand that careful thought will not only be necessary but also appreciated.

    I hope to not burden my mind with these thoughts and enjoy this vacation with friend and my big sis.
    What loving sister would want burden their love ones. And of course she would want you to have fun.

    You are not trying to be confrontational. Your giving your sister the answer she wants by not answering. The questions she pose are to complex to be given light hearted answers. Just say I’ll think about it seriously. Just not when. If she keeps pushing just repeat what you said earlier. It’s to complex a question to be answered so easily.

    Good luck.
     
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  17. sgrey

    sgrey Well-Known Member

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    you give too much credit to people. Remember, the sister was the one suggesting this in the first place. If she thinks OP needs to talk about this because it will somehow help her, she probably won't back down that easy. The tone won't matter in this case. Since you don't know her family and friends, you can't really say what kind of reaction it will cause. It is entirely possible that just because someone says they don't wanna do what she suggested, she will blow a casket.
     
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  18. Madoqua

    Madoqua Well-Known Member

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    Here a comment from my perspective:

    There is probably a reason why your sister wants to do it.
    If you don't want to discuss anything during holiday, just say it lol it's your family. Your opinion should be accepted.
    Just don't make a big deal out of it otherwise you'll hurt somebody's feelings.
    Think your sister only meant well and wants to be close to you all.
    How i see your post is that you don't want to share everything with your family.
    Just say whenever stuff is off limits to talk about this way you won't get stressed about these kinds of events nor they will keep asking.

    I personally dislike the kind of relationship with people which is superfluous in which you only do stuff together and refrain from talking from time to time.
    This does not mean you should force a discussion during your holidays which I think you are right to say no to.
    However I never feel like I get close to people who never talk about themselves.
    Just set your limits but don't show dislike to someone's initiatives to get close to you.

    Enjoy your holiday!
     
  19. OceanMagix

    OceanMagix Catnapping periodically. Existence is oblivious

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    Well, for a supposed family trip, unless what your sister plans is the norm and/or you are used to it and comfortable with it.......

    Imean, it’s gonna be your birthday right? And yay, you’re going on a trip without parental supervision ~ so how come your sister (suddenly?) suggested such a program? (Go ask her y)

    Like exactly what part of it do you feel uncomfortable with and why? Knowing and understanding that can perhaps help you to be easier to tell your sister why you would not like to do this.

    Tbh, if you really do not want to do such a thing, you must be bold and tell her no. Otherwise being passive would just make you go along with the things that you dislike.

    Well, been there, done that.... am still doing it. But sometimes, speak up for yourself. Even if people know you, sometimes they need the vocal reminder/notification. Otherwise, it’ll be like, if you don’t say, how would I know. Cause i’m not a mind reader ya know? ^_~

    Or maybe just tell her that don’t go too heavy on it? It’s suppose to be a fun outing a few seconds of reflection could be nice. Just a few.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2019
  20. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    Interesting repost. I mean in the world of infinite possibilities anything possible. But as you say some can be more likely than others. Although that maybe true. Their are other examples that leads me to say otherwise.
    The poster seem more annoyed or shy than afraid or nervous. If the sister was mean spirited the poster would not be looking forward to this trip with her friend.
    As to the sisters possible persistence. That’s definitely a strong possibility, but that’s why I suggested what I suggested. A middle ground. State your goals for the trip. To have fun with your friend. Your sister goals. Philosophy. Philosophy is not an open shut question. Self reflection is not something so simple you can spite out at the drop of a hat. Otherwise it wouldn’t be worth hearing. People have spent their whole lives trying to find the answers to these questions. Some never find their answers.
    So I recommend having fun and every once in awhile reflect on your sister questions. I’d keep it as an after thought.
    In the end your right I don’t know her or her family. She may very well have a very complex relationship with everyone. But than again she did post the questions to strangers. Instead of family or friends. So all I can do is give my honest answer. Being sincere, respectful and honest will disarm most negative reactions.
    At least that’s what I think.