Social anxiety

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Passerby Soysauce-sama, Aug 8, 2019.

  1. Passerby Soysauce-sama

    Passerby Soysauce-sama Well-Known Member

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    So my school suddenly shifts into a trisemester one, changing first day of classes from June to August, therefore my vacation went 4 months long~ spending it at home 99%, 1% going out for the convenience store taking at most 6mins back and forth (most hated 6mins).

    I believe this is where I find it most worrying.. . I may have develop further my social anxiety.
    Can't look at people in the eyes. Fumbling about. Stuttering. This isn't an anime girl situation and I really hate myself for looking like an idiot. This wasn't like this before where I would only lack words to express myself and that I would rush things with the cashier just to get out of the queue situation.

    I feel like the world is laughing at me so here I am running away from reality. I might never be able to stand straight from people's measuring gazes
     
  2. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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  3. naghi32

    naghi32 The Loner

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    Get out of the house, go to a park, don`t talk to nobody, take a seat on a random empty bench, and just stay there for a couple of hours doing nothing, it works for me, still no gf tho ...
     
  4. Sawanara murasaki

    Sawanara murasaki Sawa the HEro-sensei

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    *patt
    give me a huge high five cause we're the same...
    I dislike huge crowds anyway; I'm agoraphobia
     
  5. Ahodesuga

    Ahodesuga °˖✧Aho desu ga, Nani ka?✧˖° 《Liking Fiend》

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    It's fine, I really get it sweetie. The best thing to do about it is to just stay away from humans or the outside world.
     
  6. Passerby Soysauce-sama

    Passerby Soysauce-sama Well-Known Member

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    I do people watching, too. Like a sort of therapy or minimizing my presence (never works, I flee every single time) . The bad feeling never really goes away when there are imminent situations since they have to look at me for reasons.
     
  7. reagents 11

    reagents 11 disaster personified

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    Hmm people with anxiety have tendency to be pretentious and subservient. You need to get rid that tendency or at least keep it at a minimum.
    Make yourself the priority and think before you try to do something in example when you try to strike up conversation try thinking your objectives like "i need to find out his/her name" or "i need to find out his/her numbers". That way you'd be less overly conscious and rather try to complete the objective instead.
     
  8. Bright_Lucky_Star

    Bright_Lucky_Star [Previously Known as OrdinaryUser] The Blessed One

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    The feeling like people talk about you behind your back
     
  9. Passerby Soysauce-sama

    Passerby Soysauce-sama Well-Known Member

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    :( That really hits home, hard. But I'll be baring myself since people have been telling me not to keep up too much with appearances and just be who I really am. I don't act like somebody just to get noticed though (that's what I hate most). But the world doesn't work for a person like me. I don't know what to do anymore, much less blame.
     
  10. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    Wow, I have no idea how to help with that. I guess it only helps if you really WANT to interact with others. After not going out for about a year, when I was put in a situation where I had to interact with people, I got better at it than ever...solely because of how much I deeply desired a conversation. Before that I didn't used to care cause I interact with people everyday, but after that long a time it just made me want to do all that I've missed.

    So, I guess deep in your heart you actually don't want to interact with others, that's probably it? Or maybe the real problem is the initial starting up of the conversation? Cause after you first interact with them and establish a connection, you really don't feel any anxiety anymore. After my first week of college, a room full of people I've never met in my life prior to that week, I could just walk into the class in the morning screaming "Good Morning Gamers!" and then get pissed at them for not getting the reference.

    I don't think of myself as a very social person...it's just the lack of nervousness that came from already having at least one word with every person in that room that allowed me to do that. I wouldn't have been able to do that even if I was dared to if I didn't break the ice with them before.
    ...why not try that? Breaking the ice somehow? Learn a stupid joke and tell it, if that doesn't work...well, people not laughing at your stupid jokes is actually the best way in my opinion to get really physically close to someone you've never met before.
     
  11. Sawanara murasaki

    Sawanara murasaki Sawa the HEro-sensei

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    Hmmm...if me, I'm fine with meeting new people but I'm just afraid of making new friends cause I'm afraid of broken heart..
     
  12. Bakaturq

    Bakaturq Tell me, what do you see?

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    This gives you an extra one month to brush up your knowledge. The subjects you are expected to learn will become easier when the trimester starts and you will have more time to relax. If you know what is being taught though
     
  13. reagents 11

    reagents 11 disaster personified

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    Don't think too much about what people think. Sets your priority and objective then you should strive to complete those instead. Change your way of thinking. In example in a group work you should think that you need this group to work cohesively for results you need instead of trying to be cohesive with the group so the group can bring good results.

    What's your main motivation in conducting activities ? Is it fame ? money ? lust ? kindness ?or simple curiosity ? Find out what really bring satisfaction to yourselves and as well what you dislike to do. That'll give you general direction how to keep yourself happy.
     
  14. Passerby Soysauce-sama

    Passerby Soysauce-sama Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for this, really. This is the first time I've opened up about my issues. There was no shaming and condemning. I'll work harder. I'll meet my new classmates eye to eye. I've really been making myself small all this time. I'm glad I spilled enough guts to post this. Thank you
     
  15. Galooza

    Galooza The One True Walapalooza

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    As a guy who never feared people, but got yanked into this social awkwardness after I was diagnosed with a tremor, only thing is to try and find a middle ground. If you can, take something with you can put your active concentration into and see where that leads. Anything that can help reintroduce you to society. For me, this tremor causes me to jump scare at the slightest touch out of nowhere so I look for places that don't leave me vulnerable.
     
  16. Neolinkster

    Neolinkster Well-Known Member

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    I'd have to disagree with being them being pretentious - pretension is making yourself bigger than you actually are. There are also people who associate social anxiety with narcissism too when the somebody lays out what they are feeling while some traits sound similar they are very opposing. Though I'm probably least qualified to being stating anything on the matter. There are a few videos out there that are great at laying out what it's really like.

    Like this:


    This second one goes off on another tangent but the start also falls in line with social anxiety.
     
  17. Ahodesuga

    Ahodesuga °˖✧Aho desu ga, Nani ka?✧˖° 《Liking Fiend》

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    You.... You spilled freaking guts?!!! @911
     
    911 likes this.
  18. reagents 11

    reagents 11 disaster personified

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    No I'm using the words as in not being themselves in front of others.
     
  19. Deleted member 155674

    Deleted member 155674 Guest

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    Do you drink coffee?
    Whether you drink it or not, drink a lot of it and try energy drinks as well before you go out anywhere or before speaking directly to anyone, eat lots pastry and let all that sugar and energy do their work, just becareful you don't do or say anything idiotic :blobwhistle:
    Try drinking lots of energy drinks (at least six cans maybe) as an experiment and go to the zoo (or anywhere else, just make sure that there are lots of people there) and see how you fare :hmm:
     
  20. Neolinkster

    Neolinkster Well-Known Member

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    Sorry I can hardly advise you I myself have social anxiety which has spiraled into a moderate agoraphobia I've only been outside of the house maybe 25 times in the last 3 years. Coupled medical conditions which contribute to injuring myself repeatedly in any role using my legs even a office chair while seated can cause me to dislocate my kneecaps preventing me from doing most anything active which forces me indoors even more.

    If you can get a exercise routine even if its just a really light workout like naghi32 said about getting out and taking a walk to a park and just sitting but on top of that keep improving upon that walk a little more each day build up some stamina eventually start turning it into a light jog. Do the same thing with weights start of with really light like 1lb.(.5kg) and even if you don't go beyond 5lbs.(3kg) in a 8 year time frame just do small things to make yourself feel that they have nothing they can really use to judge you.


    That feeling of people watching you will always be there talking about it is the first step taking whatever feedback you get and making it work for you comes next. While you may feel there are things they are judging you on and your not measuring up to you can work on improving yourself with your own effort.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2019