Discussion Need some advice

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by zeroknight, Aug 22, 2019.

  1. zeroknight

    zeroknight [Death to All Harem Novels] [Dumb MCs' Hater]

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2016
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    309
    Reading List:
    Link
    So....what happened is a "group assignment". I'm a loner and barely says anything. If I did says anything on the class, its to ask a question about the task/asignment or what is relevant. I don't mind it though, I get to enjoy quientness when reading novels or focus on my thoughts more.
    :blobflag:
    But when it comes to groupings....thats the problem. When the Prof. ask how do we group, majority said they'll group among themselves aka friends gathering.
    Then comes.....US, the leftovers. Like the vegetables on the side of the plate that No one wants to eat.

    The groupings is a group of 4. Us, the remainders are only 3. One of my team mates doesnt havent go to the class since the 1st day and I already expect him to be absent most of the time. The other one is the typical lazy bum of the group who waits for the work to be done.

    So.........they expect me to lead these 2? Me? Isnt obvious that Im the shy and introverted type? So why did they passed me the Leader position!? If you compare me to the JP isekai novels, I'm not even a hero's team mate, the supporting characters, or even the extra. I'm the background! The tree outside the castle/town.

    So, Im on the edge of dropping the subject but I like some of your advice. Thank you in advance.
     
  2. Not Red Yet

    Not Red Yet Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2017
    Messages:
    1,110
    Likes Received:
    1,338
    Reading List:
    Link
    Considering that I've been the guy that didn't contribute to group projects in high school I would 100% suggest to do the project but tell the Prof. Before you turn it in and such who helped/didn't help. Don't let them be credited for work they haven't helped with.
     
  3. Liyus

    Liyus Laksha's Desu~ Cat

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2015
    Messages:
    4,216
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Reading List:
    Link
    Talk about it to your teacher and ask to mix your group with other.....i think they will not mind adding a person in other groups.....so the question is "do you want to do the assignment alone or in a group?"
     
    Fossil, Femme Fatale and zeroknight like this.
  4. LordCorwin

    LordCorwin Supreme Book Lord; Leader of the Fiction Faction

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,090
    Likes Received:
    1,089
    Reading List:
    Link
    1. Figure out how to motivate them. Telling them that if everyone doesn't pitch in equally that they're all getting a 0 is one way.
    2. Do the work all by yourself and prove yourself to be a pushover.
    3. Accept that you will get a 0 and coast.
    4. Do all the work by yourself, turn it in with only your name and take your chance that you will get credit but be ready to deal with your teammates enmity.
     
    zeroknight likes this.
  5. DiabolicGod

    DiabolicGod Well-known lazy Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2017
    Messages:
    2,022
    Likes Received:
    1,490
    Reading List:
    Link
    2 options
    Try to do your best and make your comrades do as much as possible.
    Or
    Tell the teacher/prof about the problem (optionally the next opportunity, when he can still change things), do the work alone/with your new group and then present it, but do emphasize that you did the work alone and why

    You can switch from the first to the second option if you feel that you are pretty much doing everything anyway
     
    Femme Fatale and zeroknight like this.
  6. Senescence

    Senescence Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2016
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    23
    Reading List:
    Link
    I'm a rather shy loner myself so I don't like group assignments either. If this is a college course and there are going to be a lot of group assignments, and the course isn't a necessary one, I'd just drop it. If the group assignments are rare, then just plow through them. Suggest things to do by messaging them either by email or text - you don't have to tell them directly (mention you are uncomfortable with face-to-face if you have extreme shyness/anxiety). You can do it solo though that is work you don't need to put yourself through - I've done group assignments solo before - things that require information I just grab from the internet. Tell the professor if the others don't bother working that you'd prefer to do the assignment solo. Presentations are easier - do the groundwork and have the others present.
     
    Cutter Masterson and zeroknight like this.
  7. zeroknight

    zeroknight [Death to All Harem Novels] [Dumb MCs' Hater]

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2016
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    309
    Reading List:
    Link
    Thanks. I'll try contacting them, hopefully it can be salvage. Its a product development btw so its really a very hard project. We need to prove and defend it
     
  8. RizYun

    RizYun #Kaffee4Laifu

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2016
    Messages:
    1,980
    Likes Received:
    2,136
    Reading List:
    Link
    if you got a friend on other group, ask em at how to do the assignments(by ur self). or just copy the systematic of the task and replace the content wit ur own version. when the day collection came, just give urs and say that ur team not workin together and dont even bother to do it so u make em for ur own.
     
  9. Beer_Kitty

    Beer_Kitty Just a very very drunk kitty that likes beer

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    3,104
    Likes Received:
    2,304
    Reading List:
    Link
    I suggest talking to your professor ASAP.
    Its one of the subjects that really needs team cooperation. If one flunks out, everyone of you will go down without a doubt.
    Either talk to the prof to change the groupings or drop the subject and hope you get a better class next time.
     
    macy2 likes this.
  10. prongsjiisan

    prongsjiisan Apostle of Violence

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2015
    Messages:
    3,071
    Likes Received:
    4,366
    Reading List:
    Link
    I used to say "go get em'" but now my advice is just be blunt, tell them if they want to finish this assignment they need to help you. Otherwise don't think you'll get this assignment done by yourself.
     
  11. Deleted member 155674

    Deleted member 155674 Guest

    Reading List:
    Link
    I don't like group projects, I was a loner especially in such cases (many times I had talks with the profs and tried to ask and convince them to let me work alone but that didn't always work and sometimes I would end up in a challenge with the profs whether I can or not finish the project alone :blobsweat_2:) anyway, I was in many group projects nevertheless, my 'teams' sometimes are people who are friendly and helpful and some of them took the lead sometimes even, and sometimes they didn't do a thing and would let me do all the work, but in all situations even if the group that I am in do a group work I would always try to secretely make another one alone as a backup/precaution, but still if you are in a group work, this is how usually it is (what you should expect)
    [​IMG]
     
    Bloodysin28 and RizYun like this.
  12. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2015
    Messages:
    5,676
    Likes Received:
    8,710
    Reading List:
    Link
    I agree with @Senescence.
    I was a loner also. Personally I don’t like relying on anyone. But for the grade I’d try my best. The main point is to give it your best shot. If after trying your hardest to work together and failing. Informed the professor, but at least you can say you tried. Quitting before even starting is the problem thou. Their will always be moments where they’re be uncomfortable situations. You can’t runaway from difficult choices. Take a piece of advice from me. Often times the most hardest things in life are worth doing. Don’t fall to despair. Just remember your priorities. You are not going to school for them. You are not there for them to get a perfect grade. You are there for yourself. You are there for your future. These people are not using you. Your using them. Use their worthlessness as fuel to push yourself to be better. Their just a filler to help you achieve your goals. Alas you are the MC. No MC choose to be the lead. You just get stuck with it. Failure happens to the best of us, but not even trying is a path to self destruction. Take a step forward. You will soon realize that one full step. Will feel right and true.
    Good luck. I hope it works out.
     
    Silv0 and Femme Fatale like this.
  13. lnv

    lnv ✪ Well-Known Hypocrite

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2017
    Messages:
    7,702
    Likes Received:
    9,044
    Reading List:
    Link

    Hmm... personally, I also used to be left behind mostly cause I kept to myself as everything is a hassle. The last group project that was assigned, everyone went with their friends and teacher assigned the remaining people into groups. I was assigned into the worst group with a transfer student who wasn't even there. Why? Cause I cut half the class and barely did anything in class. So much so that teacher said I'm gonna fail every time she saw me. I mean I wasn't there for the midterm exam even.

    I told the other person not to worry about it and I'll take care of everything and since he had nothing to gain/lose he agreed.

    I ignored the project most of the month and put it together last minute during class same day.

    Long story short, I passed the class and the teacher enshrined my project as an example for future classes.


    So my advice, if you plan of failing anyways, dump the other people, do everything yourself in the most exotic way possible. In worst case you fail, in best case you pass simply by standing out from all the other boring projects.


    If I learned anything in life, even the worst case situations can be turned around into awesome situations. I've even had 10 minutes away from expulsion from school waiting for the dean turned into the teacher who wanted to expel me letting me take final exam early so I can make room for my vacation.

    No matter how hopeless something seems, if you give it some effort, who knows what will happen. But if you give up, its the end.
     
    kenar likes this.
  14. macy2

    macy2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2018
    Messages:
    84
    Likes Received:
    120
    Reading List:
    Link
    Totally identify, my major requires group projects in like every class.

    And I agree with everyone else, talk to the prof. Its already baised aginst your group of 3 compared to 4. Also, some profs require evidence of dysfunction before making a move. Because y'all adults and you better figure out problems yourself. Bring evidence of lack of participation with message logs or attempts to reach out to them. Also, never pit blame on others, thats just asking for a pity party. You are a group and everyone is equal, everyone shares responsibility to make it work. Explain fairly and reasonably, you'll earn points with prof for your professional impartialness. They are more willing to help someone who is honest and fair rather then one that makes themself righteous.

    Also, tip for the future coming from someone who suffered from groups projects for every class. Not sure if it'll apply to you (you need to know possibility of group work in future) but...Day 1 in class, analyze classmates and establish who knows their stuff. Also, identify who can probably speak well in presentations (they are also most often leader types). My classes (business major) force us to introduce ourselves, which is an excellent way to gauge confidence and knowledge. Usually free seating are solidified after first day, but it doesnt mean it aint flexible, the term just started after all. In the second class sit reasonably close to a friend group or a general area with potentially good groupmates. When groups need to be formed either in class or out of class (the prof will announce, and you can do it immediately after class). You can easily instantly turn to one of them and ask to join thier group. Its not odd for you to ask because you either have no friends in class or dont know anyone. It also sends a signal you will participate in group work (really important if your quiet, sorry but your impression does not indicate a active contributor) which is a good thing among strangers; first impression matters. But it's socially awkward for them to reject someone for no good reason, so a positive (albeit awkward) response is almost guaranteed. By doing so, you have lowered your chances of being the odd one out and gained a group that will actually carry their weights.

    Also EYE CONTACT. Even if you dont ask immediately (ex. profs tell you to forms groups after class in the middle of the class), establish purposeful eye contact with those nearby; a non-verbal communication. It makes you a candidate as a group mate to them. And it makes it harder for them to not include you if you approach them ans spot are still open in the group.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2019
    kenar, BeanieRoro and Femme Fatale like this.
  15. BeanieRoro

    BeanieRoro Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2019
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Reading List:
    Link
    Personally, I'm someone who's very afraid of confrontation so in cases like these I've almost always just done it myself. However, if it is a particularily important project then you might not have that option. But if you're uncomfortable with the ultimatum approach of "help out or get a zero" then you can try slightly more gentle methods of getting them to help;

    1. Spam. Essentially, you'd be annoying them until they do something. Sometimes people are willing to work just to avoid the aggravation of someone nagging them about. It's also good to constantly make sure their doing their work even if you've already used an ultimatum because people get distracted.
    2. Delegation. Divide the work and assign people specific tasks (research pros v cons, statistics, creating a presentation/organizing it, etc.) People find work easier when they have very clear instructions. This method does require you to take charge a bit, but the alternative could be a mess of unproductiveness. Besides, once you've decided who's doing what, everyone's kind of left to their own deviices and you don't really need to be in charge anymore. I prefer proper collaboration myself but dividing tasks is simpler and can be quite effective. Good for an introvert too.
    3. Schedule. Plan out dates and times of when you'll be working on this. If a member repeatedly doesn't show up to the agreed upon times without an adequate excuse, you can confront them or explain the situation to the teacher. I would wait to go to the teacher until your group member has shown a pattern of not working and doesn't make any move to remedy their behaviour of compensate for their missed work. Hopefully, your teacher will be understanding and provide a solution.
     
    Femme Fatale likes this.
  16. Boredgasm

    Boredgasm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2016
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    179
    Reading List:
    Link
    Are you a freshman then? Try to get into the habit of at least exchanging a greeting and saying your name to the person who sits next to you in classes. That way you can always look to them to form a group or exchanging contact information, etc. You can’t be babied forever, unless you plan on having other people take care of you your whole life. Try to assert yourself some more; practice online in chat rooms or multiplayer games or something lol.
     
  17. aegis062

    aegis062 Chaotic Demon Emperor

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2016
    Messages:
    1,981
    Likes Received:
    1,875
    Reading List:
    Link
    School is a social place while I also like reading and keeping to myself. your mission in school is to interact find ppl with similar interest in your class and chill.
    im in the supreme lvl of introvert,but I hated having to be in the leftover group so I hung out with ppl who either played video games or like sports even tho I didn't like sport I would turn on ESPN in the morning and watch highlights and talk about that in school. most kids are into sports/music/technology/boys/girls/video games <----- there more but im not going to list everything it should be simple to find a semi comfortable group of ppl.

    All you have to do single out one guy in the group who is in your class and just say, hey! Did you see yesterdays basketball game? or, do you play call of duty? once you know him or her they might like you or they might not, but if they do they will ask you hang out with his group of friends and you can basically just talk about anything.
    making friend in school is just a short term benefit since most ppl graduate High school and lose all contact with 90% of their so called friends I personally only have 2 friends who I still keep in contact from high school the rest either left to another state or are somewhere in this city.