Would you read it? (Story Idea trial)

Ya, it would be more about him seeing the Consequences of his actions.

 

Pfft... Little jonny just destroyed the world

That's quite a bad jokes

 

Does this mean that the lie was exposed so his life was ruined or that he couldn't handle the guilt?

It it's the latter, why would he be mad at the world? The world is praising him as a hero. If anything he's mad at himself. Suicide makes more sense than becoming the demon lord.

 

So what's going to be the style. Start at the end where the world burns. Then go back and see what lead to it. Then back to the end? Is he going to suicide at the end of it all?

 

XD its actually the opposite. or rather the aftermath.

 

The concept isn't too wrung out yet so I would be interested, yet I wouldn't read it unless I had more information about the content. Right now there's just no personal draw to it. It could be his interactions with others, the MC himself, a female lead or otherwise important character like an opponent or rival, a crisis, etc. There just needs to be something more.

 

Couldn't handle the guilt. Bit of a spoiler, but the idea would be that the "Monsters" he defeated where that world's equivalent of the Native Americans. I.E. they used him for Manifest Destiny.

 

Its actually suppose to explain on that. Take the whole cliche "betrayed Hero takes revenge" story, and tell the story AFTER the story. The idea is "What happens after the one seeking revenge gets what they want. In the most horrible way possible"

 

See Johnathan and betrayal, is this a jojo reference?


Dio- Its over Johnathan, I have the highground

Johnathan-You underestimate my POWAH

Dio- Dont try it, Johnathan

Jonathan-WRYYYY

Sunlighto Yellow Over Drivu

Dio- You were my brother Johnathan, it was said you would destroy the vampires not become it

Jonathan- WRYYYYYY

Good luck on your story btw, looking forward to it.

 

What you have said so far sounds really interesting. How well do you know your topic (native american lore?). I find that's important.

NOTE: I tried hard not to post this but....Jonathan really? Now all I can think about is this song:

 

Probably not. I'm kind of sick of sad stories. More importantly, what is honestly left? He's already been the greatest hero and worst villain. Is the story going to be about someone who is clearly unstoppable, struggling to find a new path? Because that doesn't really sound interesting. It's usually better to follow the first shift in character. Joining him after he's switching motivation for the second time kinda diminishes the gravity of the switch. Especially since he seems to be the most powerful person in the world.

 

Sounds like a good premise, but the capitalization is stabbing me.

Also, I can't stop reading the name as John-nathan despite there being only one 'n.'

If you do write it, have fun though!

 

I don't know. It sounds ok I guess.

I don't think I would read it though. The character sounds like a sociopath and then one day out of nowhere he's the good guy again? Gotta make it more interesting mate, like that one episode of justice league where Savage lived like thousands of years in isolation only to realise what a fool he's been and his redemption story.

 

What genre's do you intend to delve into for this story. The following the aftermath of this idea has my interest piqued.

What else have you written or is this a maiden work?

 

Not bad but the general idea is nothing new, it would really depend on how your execution of the story and the tone of the story as well as character, will you also give the world some love as well? an original or interesting world would definitely increase the charm even of a generic idea, the same goes for characters

My two-cent would be, add some interesting drama, people love drama regardless of the setting so you gotta nail the feeling for revenge and betrayal for the character, it would make it or break it.

 

Everyone, he's not gonna write it.

 

I am not a fan of revenge and edgy stories so no :/

 

Osa-oji, really? Jonathan? You must really be getting old~ Sounds like a nice idea except he's a little too childish for my taste, destroying the whole world because he was naive? :< But write it anyway, maybe it'll be a nice growth story that can change the readers' dislike of the character to like. Good luck!

 

What brought him back to his sense? What's the cause of his break?

I wouldn't mind reading it if there are premises to observe and development to resolve. I love tragedy and drama but your premise didn't seem to bring anything new to the table.

 

Seems interesting brother Osa, if you do start writing it i will read it.