[Poll] Could you make the prince(ss) happy?

Scenario:

In the Kingdom of Quetiazoftl, there lived a King and his only child, Q.

Q is eight years old and the King dotes on him/her very much. Unfortunately, Q is chronically sad and depressed for unknown reasons.

One day, the King heard of your existence and for some reason wanted to offer you the job of making his son/daughter happy.

It would be a full time job, and you would have an extraordinary budget at the level of a Kingdom’s funds at your disposal. The King would like you to use whatever methods necessary to make his child happy in the long run. Appropriately, the King does not mind if you reward yourself with large sums of whatever you want (within reason) as long as you do a good job.

You have exactly ten years to your contract, until the day Q turns eighteen. At that point, Q will have an arranged political marriage and proceed with his/her adult life without you.

On Q’s eighteenth birthday, the King will ask Q if s/he is overall happy. The King will ask Q the same question on Q’s thirtieth birthday.

If Q answers that they are overall unhappy on either dates, you will be promptly executed.

You will also be immediately executed if the King determines that you are a poor influence on Q’s future career (e.g. getting Q addicted to drugs or MMORPGs).

Would you accept this offer?​

Note: the setting is modern technology in a parallel universe with no magic.

1. Do you think you could make Q happy with near unlimited resources?

2. What would your approach be?

3. What potential challenges would you foresee?

4. Is there any kind of reward that would make this job worth it?

 

I feel as though trying to make someone happy only for the reward kinda defeats the whole purpose. You can’t make someone happy unless you genuinely want to. If I were friends with Q, I’d want to make him/her happy regardless of the reward. If I weren’t, I don’t really want to bother.

 

A no-brainer. IMO, adults r always unhappy, so Q's 30th b'day is gonna get me killed. Added to that is the fact that I can't influence Q's life after 18. So, an obvious no 4 me.

 

Phew, I am not someone to ask for shit like this so probably no. Like I'd probably be killed so quick you couldn't even say executed fast enough. Real talk though, while I could try there is no way for me to actually tell if I'd be able to make Q happy. But if I had to then here we go.

1. I don't know. It's my legitimate answer in regards to that. While it would help, I have no way of knowing.
2. My approach would be to talk to Q and figure out their personality and possibly why they are so sad. After that I would focus on making life enjoyable for them. Not necessarily all fun and games, but legitimate hobbies and things they can wholeheartedly be invested in. Something that Q could get sucked into and find meaning in doing. i.e cooking, research, building, fencing, etc.
3.I could see that a challenge would be to see if I could actually try to find something meaningful, at the same time if their sadness is from lack of friends, then it would be hard to make it seem like we are friends due to the reward looming over me.
4.I don't know. I'm not altruistic enough to say that I'd work with the threat of death looming over me and say I'd like to see Q happy.

 

18, 100%. With money, it's easy.

Arranged marriage from then on? Bets are off. Who knows what he/she will end up with, and they will be the defining factor. It's something that you cannot control, there's only so much you can work with.

I'd still take it though.

 

And really, that thirtieth birthday question sucks. There is nothing we can do and her/his environment (due to the arranged marriage) is a deciding factor in that question....

 

1. Do you think you could make Q happy with near unlimited resources?
I doubt I could succeed in this task, and would likely just try to fib the results so It looks like a success. It sounds like a total gamble with unlikely odds since I'm definitely not a therapist.

2. What would your approach be?
Have a few discussions with Q, and then pretend like I never took the job. I'd then hire a team of therapists to figure out what to do with the money. I don't know why the king hired a programmer to do this job, but at the very least I could outsource the problem as the bad father did. Plus, if I pay someone else off I can bypass the clause of not being able to ever see the princess after she turns 18.

3. What potential challenges would you foresee?
The fact the I have very little empathy and can't read the mood of anyone.

4. Is there any kind of reward that would make this job worth it?
The only way I'd deal with this is if I have a chance to use the money to hide from the king in the end and use the money for my personal research. Lol, maybe I'll make an AI friend for Q and it can figure out how to get her to tell the king both times he asks her.

 

10 years is more than enough time to make them a proper human slave of cats!

 

Q?
You mean this Q?

You sure I won't be dead within the first hour?

 

This sounds similar to playing Princess Maker, except it's me and not some powerful knight who killed a demon king. (Princess Maker is a good game.)

1. Do you think you could make Q happy with near unlimited resources?
Nope. It sounds like Q needs a mother who can discipline and love her. I don't have motherly tendencies, so I can't make Q happy.
2. What would your approach be?
I could try being her friend, and helping her get some fun hobbies. I imagine being a princess is very stressful, so I could also listen to her while she's venting her frustrations.
3. What potential challenges would you foresee?
My neck hangs in the balance, so I can't go too far in trying to make her happy. I also have to do more than the minimum, but I have no idea what else I could do to make her happy. Having it be a job instead of something I would do naturally also affects my relationship with the princess in a negative way, so I would have to overcome that somehow. Also, an arranged marriage would probably reduce Q's happiness, unless she is taught that responsibility outweighs personal happiness.
4. Is there any kind of reward that would make this job worth it?
Seeing Q happy is probably enough. Raising kids is tough, so seeing my job accomplished would be nice.

 

Can't imagine me succeeding

Scenario 1:​

Q: I'm sad
Me: why?
Q: (is sad coz depression, but finds reasons to explain his sadness) Well, *explains political problems taught to prince*
Me: *equally distressed*

Scenario 2:​

Paid a lot of PSA to recruit scientist & medics to find cure for depression.
Need more sample. Need brains. Start a massacre. 10 years isn't enough to find a cure. Executed by king.

Scenario 3:​

I have 10 years (until Q is 18 yrs old) let's just live my life happily. Accept death.

Scenario 4:​

reject the job offer. Live as normal.

 

Really? I was thinking of this guy, myself.

 

U can make somebody happy only if u are happy yourself. Not job for me

 

I would NOT take this task as I am not qualified. What I would do, however, is hire a professor of psychology to explain to the king proper information concerning depression so that he understands that it's not an illness that money, resources, and even precious friends and family can cure, and that he should stop trying to 'fix' his child and instead try to understand them. I would also recommend that he hire a proper, reputable therapist to talk with both of them. Lastly, I would recommend that he either attempt to have them meet with their potential marriage partner on multiple occasions to see how they suit each other, make a long list of potential suitors for them to choose from so that they can have the final say, or do away with the political marriage entirely, as that looming over a depressed person's head isn't doing them any favors.

 

1. Do you think you could make Q happy with near unlimited resources?
Yes for sure, I'm the perfect person for the job.

2. What would your approach be?+3. What potential challenges would you foresee?
Using the available capital to have a rich life; Pick out the most perfect girl to be my wife and helper in this task and have a big family; Make sure that Q gets a proper upbringing and doesn't end up as a spoiled brat and turn Q in a hardworking and wel educated person.

4. Is there any kind of reward that would make this job worth it?
I'm already content with the extraordinary budget at the level of a Kingdom’s funds at my disposal and the freedom to use whatever methods necessary and being allowed to reward myself with large sums of whatever I want (within reason) as long as I do a good job.

 

The king wants to entrust their chilld to me? hmm... must be my smile, I knew it was too fascinating to resist
I will teach the child my fashion sense and how to smile like me, also brainwash the child with the goal of becoming a memelord
Also maybe, make the child a weeb and an introvert, seems like a good start to indoctrinate the child of a king to become a glorious figure that will definitely go down in history
I bet that will be funny to do and watch not to mention the political consequences, I am going to die laughing

 

How can I make someone else happy when people keep telling me I don’t have a heart and can’t possibly feel happiness myself? ( ･᷄ὢ･᷅ ) I do too have a heart... *sulks*

 

An 8-year-old child is very easy to manipulate if you get full permission of control and this is the case here. First the normal method: There is the option of making the good friend Or be a master for that child and make it change mind from suggestions and playing etc. The dark method Till the 12 year a hypnosis is an option the brain is not that develop so a suggestion under hypnosis is more effective -see the dentist hypnosis. Always an option to drug that kid til its so addicted that it makes everything for that unique thing. Yeah all options are a form of manipulation the question is how hard you need to do it if my life would be on it I would go with the mix of all 3, so I would be sure he/she “like” me a lot.

 

Yeah... NO.

 

Honestly, this seems like an impossible task for one reason: the twelve years after age 18 where anything could happen. The "best" situation in terms of getting out with the most stuff, is to just fraudulently siphon funds from the kingdom and just run away before she hits 18. You'll have a nice amount of money and resources to retire on and no threat of death. Because regardless of how successful you are at changing her perspective, you won't be able to do anything over 12 years.

Now there are a couple other options I guess.

Go full Hikaru Genji. Raise the princess to love you, and make it so that basically the king is forced to marry her to you.

Or just use unlimited resources to slowly take over the kingdom, to the point that it doesn't matter if the princess is unhappy, since you are indispensable. Or just kill the king and take over. It probably won't be that hard, considering how idiotic this king seems to be.