[Poll] Would you watch your language around a senstive acquaintance?

This is a semi-serious poll~

Imagine that you were playing an online multiplayer team game with a couple friends. However, since you did not have enough players to form a team, one of your friends A-kun invited some of his own friends whom you've never met before to join in. Consequently, half of the team is your friends and the other half is A-kun's friends.

The match was going pretty well, but it got pretty heated so you started flaming over voice chat.

You said things along the lines of (examples):

"That bitch didn't know what was coming for them!"

"Fuck yeah! Watch this blow that fucking dick's head off!"
​

However, shortly after this intense outburst, suddenly one of your teammates (A-kun's friend) suddenly disconnected without warning. This caused your team to be short one player, and you consequently lost. You were quite upset.

After the match, you complained to A-kun that you were annoyed about how A-kun's friend disconnected without saying anything.

A-kun looked very conflicted, and then went on to explain that actually his friend messaged him shortly afterwards and said that she felt really uncomfortable and didn't want to stay. In particular, hearing the word "bitch" is "triggering" (spoke as verbatim) for her, and it makes her feel upset.

Perplexed, you defend yourself saying that you weren't even talking about A-kun's friend. Rather, "bitch" is just a cuss word you had thrown at an opponent.

However, A-kun shakes his head and says that the word bothers his friend nonetheless.

+ + + ​

A couple weeks later you are playing the game again, and once more you don't have enough players to fill a team.

Again, A-kun offers to invite his friends, but you remember the episode from last time.

A-kun messages you privately and asks if you could... maybe... watch your language this time if all of you play together. A-kun says he doesn't personally care what you say on your own time, but would really appreciate it if you watched your mouth around his more sensitive friends. He even suggests muting yourself on voice chat.

What is your response?
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Note: For the people who never swear, you can interchange the word for almost anything and it works fine. The point is that the word is something that is commonly used, and most people don't freak out over it.

 

NO, fuck them

 

No - Because I wouldn't hang out with someone this sensitive.

Its internet, what do you expect?

 

Literally.

 

I already subconsciously watch my language around strangers.

 

I moderately swear, although by most standards it’s probably very little, but under those circumstances I’d probably either be the person disconnecting or refuse to play with you again. Because, yes, that language of flaming others does make me really uncomfortable. It’s not just the language, it’s that plus the tearing down of another person that makes me uncomfortable.

 

Walking through town you can hear people especially teens talk usong F*** as a verb. Its in every sentence they use. That is outside and in a game with anonymity it is expected that people are more heated so NO i wont watch what I say.
Easy to do since i dont swear ;p

 

.... probably fucking muting my mic every now and then for the first 10 mins, then all bets are off. Because I swear the fuck as much as when I am in work or on site with client. The remarks were always "watch your language", to which that I infered as "speak when spoken to, curse in your heart" and swiftly become super silent until the point where people are uncomfortable with me.

I was once the sensitive person who hates people swearing on and off, but after awhile in the community who don't really care whether you live or die (they actually care if you are dead, then you cannot take their shift), i sort of just let loose.

To have good manners and self restraint are nice, but to me when I am stressed, you can hear "fuck cunt wench bitch asshole pussy dick cock idiot" in one single non-making-sense sentence just because.

So most of the time if I have such people in my surrounding, I will
a. Have some restraints at the start
b. Lose control
c. Tell off said person who cannot deal with me
d. Start to be friendless as usual

 

I adjust myself to the situation. I'm quite polite and even if I get mad I don't start swearing to strangers or people I barely know. If it were with friends, I might but we would all know that there wasn't any ill intention behind it

 

I would say to the one that used the word "triggering", that they should go read the research paper where that was coined. If they still feel that the word trigger still fits, they really should seek professional help. And not get back on Internet until they are healed from it.

 

Yes because in this situation (and many more situations irl) I'd be the sensitive friend. So it's easy for me to be considerate of her, I can imagine myself in her place.

 

There's actually intentional ambiguity to the constructed scenario.

Since A-kun is relaying the feelings, to some extent there is a slight game of telephone with regards to whether the Girl-chan communicated her feelings clearly to A-kun, and if A-kun conveyed them well to the protagonist.

Since it's common for very complex feelings to be digested into a single text message, this is sort of the way I imagined it in my head.

To me, the reality was that Girl-chan was upset for some reason to the point that she disconnected.

When confronted by A-kun later for a reason, Girl-chan superficially said it was because the "bitch" word -- but to me, it's rather vague and ambiguous if that's the only reason or even the main reason, or if there are nuances to that communication step. Perhaps her feelings are much more complicated, and perhaps as Anra-sensei pointed out, maybe there were other aspects about the episode that made her feel uncomfortable.

For instance, in my headcannon, perhaps it was the voice chat that made it "triggering" for her and reminded her of a particular trauma -- but it would have been fine if she had read it in text.

However, honestly it's just headcanon at this point because the communication is already a challenge.

 

no, because i don't use those words with the exception of : bs, wth, wtf, retarded idiot......with "retarded idiot" is the only one i use to describe other.....because if they are worse than how i described them, then it's just better to ignore their existence.....

 

If someone is "triggered" by common swear words, then they shouldn't leave the house, go on the internet and definitely not play online games. It's okay to have issues, it's not okay to expect people to change normal behaviour like swearing because you have issues.

If they're YOUR issues, then you have to fix them. You can't expect the whole world to change for you so that you don't have to fix them.

 

I don't use expletives or flame people, which means they got triggered by something relatively harmless like "can you stop picking daffodils and help us out here?". And anyone having an issue with that is seriously too sensitive to get in the intertubes.

 

Ah well you see i kind of like to look about myself through others' eyes and so yes, i try to watch my language around others but of course i also believe in a tooth for a tooth and a nail for a nail so i kind of get aggressive against someone who hurts my feelings intentionally or unintentionally

 

If you can’t handle cussing/“strong language” then gtfo competitive games. Also, fuck A-kun’s friend 90% of competitive games have an individual mute player button. They could’ve muted the person and still stay in the game

 

-_- This happened to me within the last week. I read someone’s summary of a video in text version and was completely fine, then tried watching said video and completely flipped. That was certainly embarrassing...

 

There's some really interesting responses here about people's perceptions of what "common" expletives are "okay".

Personally, I think this is really interesting because the frame of reference shifts from person to person.

To one person, a racial slur or an extreme expletive might be okay, but to another person it might not since to them it's too extreme.

...and this is where I think the really interesting situation arises.

 

I moderately swear in front of men,women,and others.

But only when I'm with friends,and if there are new peopel joining in I will try to probe whether they're okay with swearing or not,and most of the time my swears are more in the animal category.

Considering the one offended is a girl so maybe change the cuss words to something genderless?

If she still got triggered then give up,it just ain't worth it