I'm planning to write an abusive relationship but a psychological one no physical because I felt it would be mediocre. However I'm kinda new to that genre and most of the abusive relationship that I read here are well pretty much bad the only one rather ...interesting was the broken winged angel but is not enough to use as reference. Can you give me some tips or recommend stories that touch this particular genre rather well? And no don't dare to recomend the 50 shades
If you are willing to go down far enough you should go read some real stories about abusive relationships, I always find it more helpful than looking through someone else's fiction.
When it comes to psychological abuse I think you should familiarise yourself with real life cases or try to think as to what can be considered as abuse and to whom, for example, what can be considered as a psychological abuse for a child? or how can I abuse someone psychologically in general? the simplest answer would be taking advantage of their weak points or as the saying goes "hit them where it hurts" Spoiler: Few examples, might be a bit offensive to some Reminding an orphan of how their parents died each and every time they make a mistake or a parent punishing their child by putting them in a closed dark room and they know that the kid got some phobia to such places (the kid can be also a teenager or an adult here) Another example can be, talking about children and how happy you are after you got your kids to a poor woman whom one way or another lost her kid (a problem occured and the child died before being born and to make things worse the woman can no longer give birth)... I can give more and worse examples but they might be too much so maybe you should familiarise yourself with some real life cases as I said, try with words like 'child abuse and neglect' for example or simply just 'psychological abuse'
Psychological would be about the partner making you feel not good enough 24/7 be it through making rude remark about your appearance, salary, job, then turning into asshole-dere "darling its only because i wasn't loved enough back then, i dont mean it mkay" to regain affection. They would always, ALWAYS be the victim in every situation. An argument break out because i called you ugly? Your fault for not being pretty enuff for me. Observe how the heroines always defend the abusive behaviour and fault themselves for being not good enough.
One kind of abusive relationship is where person 1 make person 2 dependent on him/her in a way. This can be like in 50 shades or just simpel financial dependancy. Where person 1 use that dependancy to their advantage. Guess you could also trow in a alcoholic father/mother or both. Abusing their family, mentaly, physicaly and sexualy while drunk. But they are good/exelent parents when sober.
Watch Bojack Horseman, one of the better modern examples of psychological abuse in modern media. For Physical abuse, I can't think of any good source off the top of my head, but there are many examples of it available online. Though for writing, my tip is to not focus on the what, but rather the why: "Why are they abusive?" and "How can they do what they've done?" Modern psychological profiles on wife beaters and/or domestic abusers reveal that a majority of them were abused by their parents as a child.
Imagine a manipulative person who will blame the other person in the relationship whether things go right or wrong. Imagine that person being a bully who blames the person they are tormenting for making them be like that. Now the worst part imagine the tormented person believing all of it because they love the person and they have convinced themselves that they are better off with them than they would be if they left. Now with all of this have the tormentor isolate their victim so they have no one to turn to other than them. Now here are some individual tips Think like a control freak when you write. If you do this you should be able to get an idea of what happens. Remember the tormentor needs to call the person names and berate them constantly. If you can read it and feel the victims hopelessness then you are on the right track. Although the tormentor should be disgusting they should also show half hearted kindness as well. This is usually what causes the victim to stay in the abusive relationship. as for a good story I hate recommending it but A Child Called “It” . It's more about child abuse but it has a lot of things that you could use as a reference. I would recommend personal stories though. You can get a better idea than you can through fiction which is why I recommended the story I did since it is the memoirs of the author telling the story of his childhood. Wow that was a lot longer than I planned it to be.
the Azula one is very well made. especially the ending, Azula became the very things she despised the most, "even with all the power in the world.. She is still weak". back to OP question, apathetic parent usually came to mind thinking about psychological abuse without violence and the child just ended up in wherever place that accept them. OR, a huge disparity in treatment with their siblings, if written well it could instantly draw pity on the reader. there is also a lot of tweak that could be made to give the circumstance a unique feeling. an example would be what happened with Hanekawa Tsubasa in Nekomonogatari or Kazami Yuuji in Grisaia no kajitsu.