[Poll] Could you cook to save your life?

The Magical Girl of Evil and Darkness was slightly grumpy today, so she decided to transmigrate the first person that she came across — you.

+ + +​

When you open your eyes, you find yourself in an isekai world inside an empty tavern/inn. When you take a peak outside of the window, the environment is a wasteland and extremely bleak. There is nothing but dead trees, rocks, and badlands for miles. It appears that this tavern/inn is the only thing in the area.

What is this? Are you in Mordor? Hell? Demon country?

This setting absolutely sucks.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the front door and a monster walks in. It is fully armed, enormous, and easily ten times stronger and faster than you from physical strength alone.

It casually sits down at an table and looks at you expectantly.

"I'm hungry. Serve me food, or else I'll eat you," it demands.

You think there must be a misunderstanding of some kind, because this definitely isn't your tavern/inn, but the monster gets impatient with your slow service as you try to figure out what is going on... but you definitely can't find the owner of the tavern/inn.

You then try to bluff your way with the monster, but it doesn't buy any of your excuses. If anything, it only gets more angry at you. Some of the things you tried:

• "Sorry, the restaurant is closed" — The restaurant is always open at this hour.
• "The manager and chef is away right now..." — The monster doesn't give a fuck.
• "I'm not actually an employee..." — So what? You a human, right? This is a human restaurant, so you'll do just fine.
• "I don't know where things are in the kitchen..." — The monster wants food!!! D:<
• "It might take some time..." — Do you want the monster to eat you? Hurry up already!!!

Attempting to escape is probably not a good idea. The Monster is blocking the way to the only door, and it appears to have very sensitive ears (it's constantly twitching and tracking you). It would probably hear you if you tried breaking a window, and there's basically nowhere else to run anyways in this barren wasteland.

You ask the Monster what it wants to eat. However, it is extremely angry at this point and you don't get a very informative answer.

"This is my favorite restaurant! Chop off your hand and put it in a stew or something!!"

Wait, seriously?

"Sarcasm," the Monster sneers at you. "Make your best human dish and I might change my mind about eating you. I'm famished, but don't think you can get away feeding me trash. I only accept the best!"

The monster throws a magic fireball at you, and you duck and run into the kitchen. It makes a terrifying bang, but the tavern/inn appears to be undamaged. Evidently, the monster can also use magic...

You decide to try your best at cooking something.

+ + +​

You open the pantry, and it has an infinite stock of any fruit or vegetable or meat or spice that you can think of. Amazingly, you recognize nearly everything (it truly is human cuisine), but is only the raw form (e.g. the original plant/animal).

You are unable to find any processed goods.

For example, you are able to find milk, salt, and eggs, but you are unable to find mayonnaise (processed) or soy sauce (processed). You can find apples, but you can't find fruit jam. Of course, you are completely unable to find frozen food, instant ramen, or microwavable meals.

Meat comes in the form of a dead animal. You will have to butcher and prepare it yourself.

The pantry seems to be surrounded by a preservation field. The dead animal that you pull out of the pantry appears to be recently slaughtered, and the blood is still warm.

There are many tools in the kitchen — anything cooking-related that you can think of. For example, there is a food processor, all kinds of knives, stand mixer, blender, microwave, refrigerator, oven, etc. However, they don't appear to be powered by electricity. The buttons labels are in English and you can read them.

There is one interesting device that you have not seen before. It looks like an oven, except the label says it is a Time Accelerator. There is a dial that goes up to 1 year. Apparently, you can put something into the Time Oven, and it will cause time to rapidly pass. You could use it for something like curing cheese or wine. The Time Oven is too small to fit yourself into, so don't even think of doing something silly like putting yourself in the oven.

So... time to get cooking?

Note: For the poll, compare your cooking ability to a typical moderately priced restaurant in your local city.​

1. What would you try making for the Monster?

2. Can you cook? Are you good at cooking? What is the best thing you can cook?

3. Could you run a restaurant if it came down to it? In this isekai world, would you continue operating the restaurant or would you try to do something else with your life?

4. Suppose a week later, a debt collector comes knocking at your door and they want you to pay rent. You find out that this restaurant is still under mortgage, and the rent payment alone takes up the majority of your income (almost no pocket money left). Would you keep running the restaurant even if it doesn't seem like you're making money?

5. How would you try to improve your tavern/inn operations?

 

Everyone Loves Osa's Cooking.

 

the prep and dish washing are the most tough job beside the cooking itself.

 

I detest cooking, because
a. I can cook, just not as well
b. The clean-up, fucking pain to get the grease stains off...

Also, @lychee you really having tons of free time and memory space to keep on churning these polls, are you planning to work in HR soon?

 

I'm a dog therefore it is simply impossible for me to cook. I don't understand what's going in that monster's mind thinking that a dog like me could cook..... The monster must be retarded.

 

Can you cook ? Enough to keep me alive. Are you good at cooking? Answer is the Same as the first. Pancakes

 

Ocean-san! Ocean-san! Do you cook a lot?

 

only when i can. Unfortunately that is not as often as i wish/want to do

 

Technically, the first person that the Magical Girl of Evil and Darkness came across is you @lychee
But anyway
1. What would you try making for the Monster?
The monster is hungry and is a monster so, maybe some grilled meat and vegetables also some soup as well
2. Can you cook? Are you good at cooking? What is the best thing you can cook?
Yes I suppose, I like to think so yes, not sure what is the best thing but I make good spaghetti/pasta
3. Could you run a restaurant if it came down to it? In this isekai world, would you continue operating the restaurant or would you try to do something else with your life?
No, I will probably leave
4. Suppose a week later, a debt collector comes knocking at your door and they want you to pay rent. You find out that this restaurant is still under mortgage, and the rent payment alone takes up the majority of your income (almost no pocket money left). Would you keep running the restaurant even if it doesn't seem like you're making money?
Maybe
5. How would you try to improve your tavern/inn operations?
Make it mobile or maybe able to fly, or even better, transform into a mecha, I will probably think of a way to bring the robots in disguise into the isekai

 

Nobody is bothered by the fact they’ll need to butcher the meat?

I feel like my own repertoire would be severely diminished in this kind of setting.

 

1) I’d probably whip up some seafood paella since I’ve never butchered an animal and would have no idea where to start. I could probably guess at the cuts, but properly skinning/plucking without messing up would be too hard.

2) I can cook and I’m pretty confident in my cooking abilities. I usually only cook food I can make quickly(pasta, fried chicken, burgers, etc.) but I’d say my best meal would have to be a chuck roast with mashed potatoes and homemade gravy and grilled asparagus.

3) I wouldn’t run a restaurant. The only reason I tend to cook suck quick dishes is because I don’t actually enjoy cooking. I can only cook as well as I do because i’ve always been taught, by my parents, that it’s a necessary skill to have. So rather than running a restaurant, I’d probably try my hand at being a merchant or running a general store if possible.

4) I don’t see how I could possibly be broke, or if being broke even matters tbh, if I have an infinite stock of ingredients in my pantry.

5) Converting it from a tavern to a market and just selling whatever I choose from pantry.

 

Yo, fuck that monster. I dont cook for asswipes.

So I'd probably cook a 5 star meal for him.

Maybe a little of chocolate fudge cake, alfredo chicken and a roasted turduckin.

 

That monster asking you to cook is edible right?

 

Ah, it’s not actually free. Your restaurant’s business partner handles the supplies, and you get charged for the ingredients you use.

 

I'm slightly drunk but I'll do my best...

1) I'd grind down some grain for flour and make pasta with eggs. Add some tomato and basil for an alright pasta dish (don't trust myself to be able to make cheese).

2) I'm alright at cooking. I like making curry, but that requires premade curry paste.

3) restaurant is probably a bad idea for me. I'd try teaching people basic physics or maths or reading as a job instead

4) no, not worth it

5) if I was dedicated to it I guess I'd come up with a few simple recipes and try to master them, then slowly improve them/come up with some more.

 

Easy Pesy

 

if I have anything I excel in it is cooking. my dad from early age of 5 would teach me how to cook him being chef just like my grandfather they both passed down their skills cooking is something that we do, it doesn't even matter what country's dish it is. my dad and my gramps would challenge each other and I would join in for a 3 way match before my gramps passed away. we would each choose 3 dishes to make from what ever country and the whole family would eat and decide whose dish tasted the best.

 

I will give the monster fugu sashimi

easy preparation

I have no licence in fugu prep

 

I'd make egg fried rice with shrimp tempura as a side.

 

All sort of eggs in all sort of style. Maybe potatoes too. Some fast seafood like clams and octopus. Preparing fresh kill into meat takes too long for comfort.