Yo. Synopsis: It was dark, pitch black. Where am I? Where was I last? I died. Am I still dead? A light so dim, yet so blindingly bright to me appeared in a vertical line. The line grew wider and wider, all until the stone slab above my coffin was completely removed. I removed it, I lifted it, without even willing it. And my body continued to move until it was outside of the crypt. It was night, but there was a full moon. And a little girl in front of me. She clutched a black book to her chest as if it were the last thing she had left in this world. I've heard stories of this, I imagined the possibility, but I never thought it would happen to me. Tears streaked down her cheeks. She choked the words out. "Please, save my papa!" Genre: Adventure Table of Contents: Rebirth, Death and Departure Ch. 2 Ch. 3
Spoiler: Rebirth It was dark, pitch black. Where am I? Where was I last? I died. Am I still dead? A light so dim, yet so blindingly bright to me appeared in a vertical line. The line grew wider and wider, all until the stone slab above my coffin was completely removed. I removed it, I lifted it, without even willing it. And my body continued to move until it was outside of the crypt. It was night, but there was a full moon. And a little girl in front of me. She clutched a black book to her chest as if it were the last thing she had left in this world. I've heard stories of this, I imagined the possibility, but I never thought it would happen to me. Tears streaked down her cheeks. She choked the words out. "Please, save my papa!" I looked around. That seemed to be permitted. In the distance, there was a raging fire. It engulfed a village. My body willed itself to move in that direction. It started as a walk, and then it became a full on sprint. My armor and sword were still on me. They clanged as I ran. It felt somewhat nostalgic, charging into battle. But this time was different. There was no fear, no excitement. I would not die. I was already dead. In the village center, a man was tied to a pillar, below him was a pile of branches and twigs. Surrounding the man was a retinue of five knights dressed in identical white tabards with the symbol of the order, a dragon. These bastards again. One of them was about to set the man on fire when another saw me. "What have we here?" he declared. The others turned around, to me. "I knew it! I bloody knew it! A necromancer!" He wasn't wrong. But this is going too far, to kill so many for the one. I tried to speak but I could not. My body moved itself, closer to the man on the pillar. "Step back, foul abomination!" They blocked my path and aimed their swords at me. I'm going to enjoy this. I stepped forward once more. They then spread out and surrounded me. A common but effective tactic. The first to swing was the crier. It was a long drawn out motion. It was easy to intercept and swat away. His sword flew out of his hand and onto the ground behind him. As he stood dumbfounded, with his arm still held up from his initial attempt to attack, I charged forward and slamming the flat end of my blade into his chest. He flew backwards and fell to the ground. Fighting with swords and armor was tricky business. Swords were slashing weapons, likely only to bounce or break off of the steel plates of armor. What I need is a mace. Four left. I was constantly darting my head left and right, watching for who would make the next move. One shouted to their fallen comrade, "Oi, get up, Ornstein!" Ornstein was writhing on the ground with an arm held up against his chest. "Damn it!" There was a tinge of fear and frustration in his voice, as if he was unable to accept what had just transpired, as if he never could have imagined it in his wildest dreams. It was a restless, defiant shout. He charged at me in a fury with his sword held back, ready to swing. But before he could, I stepped forward and slashed at his held up wrist. "Aughhhh!" He dropped his sword, knelt down, and clutched his wrist with his good hand. It was by no means possible to cut his hand off through the armor, but he wouldn't be able to use it for at least a week. Seeing their dwindling numbers, the rest lost all control and attacked. Their motions were stiff and their stances were nonexistent. These men were either new recruits or wildly inept. The battle was tedious. No one was going to die because of the protection our armor offered. It was just a beating. I would simply keep on hitting them with the flat end of my blade. And on the rare occasion when they would hit me, I wouldn't feel it at all. I mean, I could feel that something hit me, but no pain registered. The last one still conscious begged, "I give, I give! Please, don't kill me!" I knocked him out. I had no intention of killing them once I realized how little fight they actually had in them. But what happens if I leave them alive? What are the chances they come after the girl? Would they know her father had a daughter? They were able to find the father somehow. Can I take the chance? Systematically, I removed the helmets of each knight and slit their throats. Someone stood in the corner of my vision. I turned my head. It was the girl. How long has she been there?
I thought that the dude was slowly roasting while the knight was taking his time to kill the other dudes. Then I reread and realised that while the village was on fire, the bonefire with her dad wasn't lit yet. Jokes aside, I liked this chapter. The story can develop in a number of ways from this point, so hard to say more. If you are curious about specific things - ask it directly. Also use @ to summon next time
Spoiler: Death and Departure Someone stood in the corner of my vision. I turned my head. It was the girl. How long has she been there? She looked at all the dead men, horror mixed with panic in her eyes. Then at the man tied to the pillar, her father, with eyes of relief, of joy. Intent on releasing him, her father, she threw her book aside, rushed past the dead, and started undoing his ropes. Once free, he began to fall. He could not stand. His daughter dutifully rushed underneath to catch him. But before she could attempt to bear the weight, my body rushed over and caught him . I could not tell if that action was voluntary or not. He lay resting, his back against the very bonfire that was meant to kill him. He still breathed, but was unconscious. There were bruises and cuts all over his body. Blood streaked down him from head to toe. "Papa, wake up!" she implored while clutching his hand with both of hers. I wanted to tell her that he needs his rest, that she should leave him be, but I could not. His eyes opened slowly. His voice was coarse and quiet. "Maggie, is that you?" The space between the words were long, as if it took all his might to utter a single syllable. She tightened her grip, inched closer to his face, and said excitedly, "Yes, it's me, Papa!" He looked at me. "My god, you've done it. Where I always failed." He looked back at her. "You need to run, get out of here. They'll come for you." She said with pure intention and nothing else, "What about you?" "My sweet girl, I cannot come with you. My journey ends here. Travel east from here, in the direction of the graveyard, follow that road until you meet an inn. There should still be some money in the hut. If it's still on fire send in your friend. If it's done burning then still send him in, it could collapse at any second. If there's no money there then search those knights. I know death is scary. I know that. But it's not the end." He took one last, long breath. "I'll always be with you." And like that, he lost all of his strength, his hand slipping from his daughter's grasp, his neck falling to his side, and his eyes, closed. I couldn't see her eyes, as I stood beside her, vigil. But her head did not move. I don't think she could process what just happened. "Wake up, Papa! Wake up! Please, please wake up!" She gripped onto his shirt with both her hands, buried her head in his chest, and began to cry and wail, endlessly. "No, please, please, please. Don't leave..." I could do nothing but watch. It was hours before she would leave that spot. In the end, she returned to her home. It was burned to a crisp, the walls and ceiling did collapse. I doubt there was anything left. She had me search anyway, though. I found a jar filled with mostly copper coins, and some silver. When we returned to the town center, she just stood there, motionless, as if she was unsure of what to do next. Perhaps she wanted to bury her father, give him a proper rest, but she also wanted to respect and heed his last words. Perhaps she was debating whether she should pilfer from those knights of the order. On one end it was sacrilegious to steal from the dead, but on the other, they practically killed her father. She turned her head to me, tilted it upward until her eyes reached mine, and said, "loot them." I had no qualms with it. It was only natural to use whatever you could, as weapons and shields were liable to bend and break during the heat of battle. And Some men would always compare and gloat over who had obtained the greatest treasure afterward. Ah, those were the days. We couldn't carry any of their weapons or armor, so all that happened was the money jar got a little, no, a lot fuller. And then we did as her father instructed, we traveled on the east road. She continued to clutch the black book against her chest. And I held the jar. As we passed my crypt, she stopped. Then she entered it and left with a helmet in her hand. She raised it up, at me. I took and equipped it. It would be best if people didn't know I was what I was. After a while of walking, she started to slow down. I wanted to tell her I could carry her, but I could not. After another hour or so of walking, she collapsed. She was still breathing. Must have just been tired. It must have been a long night for her. I knelt down, scooped her up, cradled her in my arms, and continued to walk. That seemed to be permitted. She still held that book against her chest. It was the last thing she had left in this world. @Green Apple @zloi medved @yuzuki I @'ed you guys since you seemed to like the first one! So please tell me what you think of this one!
Ok. I will start with the apparent discrepancy in the story. And the he goes and spills a whole paragraph like this Which seems weird for a man on his last breath. Also I think the girl should be aware of some information already, like general geography, where the money are, how to get it if the house is on fire. Ofc. if the girl is too young to think for herself at all, you need to come up with other ways to take care of her, for example giving more freedom to death knight and use his knowledge and experience. The father's message could've been short without "in the direction of the graveyard, follow that road until you meet an inn. There should still be some money in the hut. If it's still on fire send in your friend. If it's done burning then still send him in, it could collapse at any second. If there's no money there then search those knights." part. The ways to solve a situational problems should be up to girl to solve when she is met with something like "the house is on fire and money are there". Also father could've hinted the reason why she needs to go east. Maybe there is an ally, or he would give her a name of his old friend living there, or the further you go east the less the influence of that order that wants to kill her. Simply sending her to inn without an underlying reason doesn't give her much motivation. In other words her father could've given her a long term goal to reach at this moment. sorry for a rant
I don't really like explaining my story. I feel like it kind of lessens or cheapens it. Like I'm the magician who's telling you you have to stand in this exact spot or else the trick won't work. It demystifies it. And it's like I'm telling you what you're supposed to feel. And it kind of spoils it too, if I tell you the point. And I hate spoiling things sooo much. It's like I'm ruining the story for you. It's like I'm showing you how the trick works.
I'm kinda confused. How does explaining the story and spoiling things correlates to my message? P.s. Her dad mentioning the house on fire and telling her what to do is exactly a big spoiler on what happened later. Cause she did what he said. And it was already mentioned.
Spoiler: Ch. 2 It was dawn when I came upon a small town. There was a waist-tall fence surrounding its perimeter and a few buildings that were taller than one story. The entrance was denoted by the continuation of the road into the town; none stood guard. As I walked through, I got a few curious looks - some at me, some at the girl, and some at my sword - but none said anything out loud. I continued until I found an inn. She started to stir when I entered it. She blinked her eyes, adjusting them, and looked around the inn, confused, then looked up at me. Her face flushed red. She started to shake her legs up and down and flail around. I bent down, opened my arms, and she urgently stepped onto the floor. Was she already at that age, to be embarrassed by being carried around? She then took my hand, turned me around, and walked me outside of the inn. My body would have followed you anyway. She continued walking me and said, "No one will take me seriously if you carry me around like a kid." You are a kid. No one will take you seriously regardless. She walked around until we were in front of a general store; Birk's Best. She released my hand and walked into the store. I followed. When we were at the counter, the clerk addressed me, "Hello, what can I do for you today?" I said nothing. He repeated and tilted his head quizzically, "Hello?" "Ahem." She coughed professionally into a held up fist. "Ah, yes, little miss, what is it?" "My name's Margaret and this is my uncle Galahad. He was caught in a fire a couple years ago, it burned his throat so he can't talk, and his skin is horribly burned, so he never takes off his armor." Oh, she knows my name? "I see, so I'll be doing business with you today?" "Indeed." She smiled and puffed out her chest proudly. Good job. We left Birk's Best with two backpacks (a smaller one for her and a larger one for me), a sleeping bag, a black cloak for her (she didn't like the color or the style, but it was all they had in stock for her size), a map, other essential provisions for traveling, and a lighter jar. I was worried she would waste money buying me a sleeping bag or cloak, but I was relieved when she didn't. Instead of returning to the inn, we left the town through the east road. As I walked beside her, she said, "You know, I couldn't believe it, when you left that tomb. I know Papa thought I did something amazing. But I barely did anything. It was all his work. Everything in this book." She held up the book, proudly showing it to me. "If it weren't for him, you and I wouldn't be here." Her eyes glazed over and she smiled a half smile, as if she were remembering something nice. And when it was over, she looked back at me. "I'm not sure if you can understand me - I mean, anything other than my orders." I can. "But even if you can't, I'm going to talk anyway. I don't know how you feel about being... this. Do you hate it? Do you think it's an insult to your life? Do you hate being ordered around by a little girl?" I was glad. "I don't know how to undo the spell... I'm sure you would rather be free of me, of this curse I placed on you." I'm fine. "But you see, the thing is," She sighed, as if she weren't sure of anything anymore. "I'm scared, and I think I need you." I know. "Please don't hate me." I don't. Her eyes started to tear up. Margaret said, as if she thought she was stupid to even attempt to speak with me, "Right, so you can't understand me, of course." I'm sorry. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Suddenly, an empty rumbling reverberated. It was her stomach. It must have been some time since her last meal. We were still close, so we turned around, back in the direction of the small town. The two of us sat in a table at the inn, on opposite sides. The first floor doubled as a check in area and restaurant. She stored the book in her backpack when we sat down. The waitress asked us what we wanted. And Margaret repeated the same spiel she told to Birk. I didn't get anything of course, and she got a stew of some sort. She seemed to be enjoying it well enough, not scooping it down, but not cringing at its taste either. Margaret raised up a spoonful again, then she dropped it in her bowl, splashing a bit of stew. Her eyes widened wildly. I turned around. There were two knights in full plate armor, and white tabards with the symbol of the order of the purifying pyre, a dragon, at the front desk. How did they find us so quickly? Wait, I don't even know if they know to look for us. Margaret took some coins from the jar in her backpack, threw them on the table, got up, and left. I followed. I don't think they saw us. There were two horses tied to the outdoor posts of the inn. So that's how. We returned back to the east road. After a couple hours of walking, it didn't seem like they were following us. We stopped at a crossroads. There was a signpost for each of the four directions. I didn't think it meant much for us; I thought we were going east. However, she still took her time in reading it, and compared it to the map. She was about to say, "We're going -" when an agonizing cry came from the forest northwest of us, that is to say, northeast. Immediately, she lowered her map and darted her head in its direction. This is giving me a bad feeling. She said, "We should check it out." She left the road and went into the grass, in the direction of the shout. This could be a trap. I'm pretty sure there was a monster that could mimic human sounds. As we got closer, another noise emerged: a roar. She started to run. How am I supposed to protect you if you willing walk into fire. She stopped behind the shrubbery at the outskirts of the forest, peering past them to see what lay ahead. The shouts came from a man, or on second thought, a boy. No, that wasn't quite right either. He was as short as a boy, but his proportions were that of a man... A halfling! His foot was stuck in a bear trap and he was shouting, "For Enalla's sake, would one of you get me out of this thing already!" He clutched his trapped leg with both hands, as if the pain were immeasurable. Two other figures were a little away, with a raging brown bear between them, swatting at the two ferociously. One had a sword and shield, wore leathers greaves and vambraces, and a steel cuirass across his chest. The other one was waving around a dagger, with a bow on his back and a quiver hanging from his belt. Both were human, or at least looked to be. The archer shouted back, "We're a little busy here! How did you even step in the bear trap!? I showed you the map yesterday!" The halfling tried with all his might, to pry open the bear trap's bite. "My memory of a map doesn't do shit against a rampaging behemoth on my tail!" The armored fellow ducked below a bear slash and said, "Behemoth!? You're overreacting! It's not like we're dealing with an ogre!" "I'm half as tall as you guys! A bear is an ogre to me!" Margaret turned to me - don't say it, please don't say it - and said with steel determination in her eyes, "We have to help them." And you say it. She pointed in their direction and declared, "Save them!"
I think I'll be giving up on Necromancer's Knight. The first chapter was fun to write. But then I tried writing the second and third, and I realized I had no idea where it was going, becoming increasingly bored by it over time. I think I only wrote more than chapter 1 because people (including myself) wanted/expected one. I didn't really "think" about it, the driving force behind the narrative, before continuing the story. I'm not sure if I'm not ready to write a 200 page story yet, or if I can and I just don't think I can. Regardless, my energy for this has run out. I have chapter 3 almost finished and chapter 4 planned out, but I'm too bored by it to write it; it's not fun to write.
Spoiler: Ch. 3 Immediately, I darted through the bushes, into the forest, past the trapped halfling, - save them, there's only one way - tackled the archer, got her over my left shoulder, bypassed the bear until I was next to the armored fellow, held out my right arm in front of him in a halting motion, and then with my same hand, knocked hard on my chestplate. The noise reverberated throughout the forest. The most direct way to stop the encounter. Two of them had pinned it between them, intent on killing it. And since beasts don't attack people unless they're provoked, simply by offering it an escape route - that was the only way to save them, the quickest way to eliminate the danger. A full on attack would have only enraged it more, elongating the fight, making it more likely for someone to get killed. But it might be too late to scare it away. It might be too angry. The bear's head was still darting left and right, expecting the archer to still be there, but upon seeing that she no longer was, became confused. And then after hearing my knocking, and turning to look at me, ran away in the opposite direction, where the archer was. The archer, armored fellow, and halfling all had the same faces, asking what just happened and who the hell I was simultaneously. "Um, could you let me down?" asked the archer. I let her down. "Thanks." Then Margaret ran over, looking ecstatic from her face and pace. "That was amazing! It all happened in a moment! I couldn't believe it!" "What the - who the - what just happened?" asked the armored fellow who was still processing everything. "Could someone please get me out of this thing already?" asked the halfling, still trapped in the bear trap. A command, it was like a constant beckoning behind my back, a whisper that would not stop until it was fulfilled. But always in the back of my mind. Could I refuse a command? Would the beckoning get stronger, the whisper louder? Would it hurt? At least I could still decide how to fulfill it. At least I had that. The armored fellow sheathed his sword, placed his shield on his back, and went off to free his halfling companion. He called, "Hey, Serena, help me out with this." The two of them released the halfling from his binding. "Can you walk," asked the armored fellow. "I'll try," replied the halfling. With clear trepidation on his face, he slowly descended his toes to the ground, and then eventually the whole weight of his foot. No expression of pain appeared on his face, no, instead it was one of amused disbelief. He stepped again, then again, and it became a dance. "I feel fine! I feel fine!" "Aren't you at least bleeding?!" "Don't sound so disappointed!" said the halfling still dancing with glee. The halfling's leg must have been just between the teeth as it bit down on him. How lucky. After everything had calmed down, the three of them came to meet the two of us. The humans were Soren and Serena, and the halfling's name was Perrin. And then Soren asked who we were, more specifically, he asked me. When I said nothing, he seemed to misunderstand. "Hey, I asked you who you are!" His face got closer to mine, menace clear in his eyes, either anxious to prove himself or actually looking for a fight. Margaret cut in, "I'm sorry, my uncle can't speak. He was caught in a fire a couple years ago, his throat and skin were badly burned. So he can't talk and he always wears his armor. My name is Margaret, and his is Gallahad." Serena said, "No, I'm sorry for my brother. It's a great honor to meet a knight." She bowed and jabbed her brother's side, prompting him to follow. There was conflict written on his face, sullen though it was, there was then an admittance of what was proper as being proper. And so he bowed as well. "If I may ask, what takes a knight and his niece on the road in these parts?" She addressed Margaret. "Uhhh, my uncle isn't a knight anymore, he doesn't serve under a lord. He only wears the armor now out of habit and to cover his skin." Perrin chimed in, "Why isn't he a knight anymore?" Serena pulled Perrin back by the scruff of his neck, until they were behind a tree a little away, and hissed, "You don't ask why a man is no longer a knight! Something serious must have happened for a knight to lose their title." He hissed back, "Jeez, how was I supposed to know! We Hin don't exactly have your sensitive social hierarchies!" "Just don't bring it up again!" "Okay, okay!" The two returned, and Perrin apologized, though his face showed he wasn't completely sure as to why. Margaret asked, "What are you guys doing here?" Serena opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, Soren interjected, "We were hunting that bear, and we had him right where we wanted before you two showed up." He said you two, but he pointed his accusatory finger at me. Serena nudged him in the gut again, this time hard enough for him to recoil in pain. "What was that for?!" "We were pinned in a corner! You know if one of us were hit, no, even grazed by one of those swipes, we would have been goners, or at the very least, in critical condition. The plan was for me to shoot a vital organ from far away, not face it head to head in an all out brawl!" "We could have taken it! Didn't you see me dodge its swing?" "You were lucky!" The bother sister duo continued to bicker. "Are they always like that, " asked Margaret. Perrin said, "All the time. But don't worry about them. They'll tire each other out eventually. You know what I could go for right now?" "What?" replied Margaret "Lunch." said Perrin while rubbing his stomach with longing. Margaret and I were now at the three's camp. It was deeper in the forest, in a clearing. They had set up their tents around a campfire and over that fire hung a pot of their lunch. While the four ate, Serena was explaining why they were hunting the bear to Margaret. "You see, we can sell the pelt and meat for a good amount of coin, but here's the kicker, someone also filed a subjugation request for it at the Adventurer's Guild." The three were some sort of bounty hunters. But instead of hunting strictly people, they did whatever requests were taken in by their guild. "And there was no note saying they required the materials, so it's a double win. If it's alright with your uncle and you, you could help us with the quest. Sir Gallahad looks like he'd be helpful in a pinch. Of course we'd share the reward evenly." Soren made a look of such disbelief and indignation, but said nothing. "We would love to, but we're actually already going somewhere," That's right. You tell them. We have more important things to be doing than helping this lot with their day job. "That's a shame, we could have really used the help in carrying the meat and pelt to Antimony too." "Wait, you're going to Antimony?" "Uh, that's right, why?" Yeah, why. "That's where we're going too. On second thought, we'll help you out." Wait, what? We returned to where we first encountered the bear. Then went in the direction of where it ran off, changing direction once again when Serena noted some tracks. We found it, drinking from a stream. The water rushed forth, foaming between the loose stones that protruded out of it. Moss had grown atop the stones, where the water could never reach. It was the same emerald green moss that permeated throughout the forest, painting a picture of wild, unrestrained growth all over. And the sounds; of the stream, accompanied by the wildlife of the forest; chirps, crackles of twigs, and the skitter of small critters as they brushed past loose greenery. As it was, the beast looked like such a serene creature. As it was, it was a still and silent thing, making the memories of that thrashing, roaring beast seem almost impossible. It made me feel wrong to hunt and kill it. But I knew that it's death would have meaning. Its meat would be used to nourish, its fur would be used to warm. In a sense, I honored it. When we were boys, it was a right of passage. We were all taught it. Though it did take me longer to learn it than I'd like to admit. Serena nocked an arrow and drew her string, an unflinching focus in her eyes.