Spoiler The Abandoned Empress

Discussion in 'Spoilers' started by Regalia1896, Jul 28, 2017.

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  1. nuttyreader

    nuttyreader Well-Known Member

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    ATrueStory, I think you are very invested in this story since you didn’t actually read what I said. I said the first life villain which is true. I did not call the prince the villain in the second life. As a shipper, you really like the FLxprince ship and this maybe shadowing what others may say. What i said shows why people would not like what happened and to give you another view of why many people would not like the outcome. This is a very valid view and should not be thrown out just because you have strong feelings about the current way the story is written. Please reread what I said since I never attacked the writer nor your views.

    Long ago, I sent an email to Anne McCaffrey. She actually responded which realllllly made my day. Interacting with a writer even in this type of simple message can be very nice to the writer and the reader. There is another author sci-fi that I read his trilogy. He was extremely good with the sci-fi/military combat but his ...... personal interactions....the way the ML and FL interacted made me cringe.

    I never said to support attackers but there should be a discussion between author and readers especially when there is such a reaction. I think this is a good way to give a connection from the author to their readers. I could be wrong but it can be a valid point.

    As for you writing fanfics, good for you and I suggest you continue. As long as even one reader likes it, why should you care for the others. Not everyone will like the same thing so do what you want.
     
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  2. ATrueStory

    ATrueStory Villainesses, Historical Shit, Noble Circuses

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    I am partially invested and biased I admit becuase I have thought of having a similar plot but I dropped it. Some of my peers thought this work was very good - themes were spot on and there were good techniques. However, the reaction from my peers and the fans were different and the opinion I got was to play it "safe" if I am gonna push for an output.

    Forgive me if I came across towards you as attacking. But it seems we have a different view of who the villain is and with it, it also apply to a ton of details. My view is based on canon but sail that ship if you want to.

    If you are curious, the author did react to the backlash by publishing a side story about the prince. You can imagine that didnt end well. My guess is that the publisher greenlit it while thinking it may help in explaining the story and charcater while people are still reading the story. But it seemed that backlash sustained and it just reignited the whole thing. So, yeah. The sensible thing is just leave the whole thing alone and write something else that will be more palatable ans sellable.

    In my line of work, my material is product and yes, it has to sell somehow. It's okay if it's just my personal writing, which I am totally okay not to publish and let other people not know about it.
     
  3. nuttyreader

    nuttyreader Well-Known Member

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    I will say that what happened to the author is wrong. You can easily disagree with the way the story goes but you should never ever attack the author. Considering that there were plenty people posting, it seems to me that the author did his job properly in getting the readers invested. That means the author definitely deserves praise even if you disagree with the ending. Isn’t this the reason we have doujinshi and fanworks? If you really dislike an ending and have the skills, write a story to set the ending as you like.

    As an avid reader, the worst thing to happen is to lose a good author. There are some really interesting series that will never complete due to the authors leaving untimely. Therefore, I really cannot ever support the attacks as you mentioned. I hope the author grows and gets past this.

    On your writing, I will say that ... yes you are writing for sales but.... what’s the point if you can’t write what you like....
    Please write what you like because I’m very sure your writing will be even better that way.

    On my very sad note, Gordon R. Dickson was a very prolific and old writer of sci-fi and fantasy. Reallly really amazing writer. He started a new series called the dragon knight with transmigration, magic, knights.... everything you expect in the fantasy genre before all these stories came out from japan, China, Korea.... the series was amazing and going to an amazing way. Unfortunately, he passed away. We lost a great writer and a series that will never end.
    This still makes me soooo sad .

    RIP 01/31/01

    I know we went outside the spoilers but I think, we should always support the authors who write their hearts out even if you disagree with the ending. I won’t be reading since the ending is against what I feel, but I will never support the attacks the author has received.
     
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  4. sjmcc13

    sjmcc13 Well-Known Member

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    Really many/most of the major tropes used in webnovels and light novels are older than dirt, or reskinnings of older than dirt tropes. It is just that they never became the same level of phenomenon or crazy till they took off in these stories, and many web novel readers do not have a strong background in english fantasy literature. Other then a few series, most of whom have a strong hollywood or tv success.

    Just for some form of world travel : Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Dark Tower, John Carter of Mars, Chronicles of Narnia, Captain N: The Game Master, King Arthur & the Knights of Justice, ... the list goes on an on. Heck you can even see it in the old He-Man and She-Ra cartoons, both Adora in Etheria, and according to the christmas special the Queen Marlena of Eternia (the twin heroes/title characters mother) is from Earth.
     
  5. Akiyuki_chan

    Akiyuki_chan Well-Known Member

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    YES, this is absolutely the very core of why I got mad about this thread. I totally respect other opinions that said that you don't like how the pairing ended. That's all right, I understand your reasoning as well. I'm mad NOT because others don't support Ruve x Tia ship while I support them wholeheartedly, but because while doing the disagree-opinion-thing, they unconsciously disrespect the author by telling or making others think that this story is not worth to read just because FL still end up with ML whom they do not like.

    The author had done so much effort to build a world with it's own traditions, political schemes, family and personal issues, characters that readers can sympathized with, even the growth of all characters, then tell it to readers with great story pace, much hidden plots and depths that readers don't expect so it become the wow factor when the secret's been revealed later on.
    Y'all, I'm gonna tell you that making a complex story with all of these aspects is... hellish. I myself love writing, and have been doing it ever since my school days but never been able to publish everything because of the points I mention above are not strong or relate enough in my stories so I have to keep rethink and redoing it and so on. Especially try to tie all loose end, or fix the loopholes while still make the whole thing make sense or even have bigger wow factor... that is one of the hardest things I've ever done and still trying to do it right.

    So I very much adore authors (one of them is the author of AE, in my opinion) who can deliver their stories right without overwhelm me as a reader, make me go big 'WHAT?!' when the reveal comes because I know full well how hard it is to make that happen to a reader, especially those who had read so many stories.

    What I want to say is, please, no matter who you ship or who you hate, please just respect the author's blood and tears who had delivered this interesting story with so much depths to us, even if you don't like the canon pair that was told. We don't want to lose another great writer. We all know how simple it is to do cyber bullying even without we realize. If you like the story, feel free to stay. If you don't like it, feel free to drop it. No need to bash or vilify the story, especially the author. That's all.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019
  6. Eodez

    Eodez Well-Known Member

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    [Volume 2 - Chapter 55 of the novel] [chapter 100 & 101 of the manhwa]
    Allen’s POV 1/6

    I was a special child. People often called me a genius. I was always praised, but I remained silent.
    I remember the moment of my birth. The conversation between the maids who helped my mother at the time, what my father said when he first saw me, and the pain when I got hit on the butt.
    Every book I’ve read, word or action, is always fresh in my mind.
    The day, the time, the weather, the clothes, the objects around me at any time. There was nothing I couldn't remember. Things that takes people years to learn, I learn it just by looking at it once in a book. Thanks to the fact that I could memorise anything once I saw it, I was good at grasping people’s emotions through their facial expressions and speech.
    People admired me, but my family was frightened.
    My family… An ordinary mother with average looks, a sickly brother, and a father known to be smart and well-informed.
    I tried not to show my genius, but there was a limit to my acting like an ordinary child in the first place. I was becoming increasingly isolated.
    The smarter I was, the more afraid my father was of a genius beyond himself. I still can't forget my father's expression when I, a mere five-year-old, managed to understand a very complex formula.
    From the beginning, there was no such thing as oblivion for me.
    My older brother, who always smiled brightly at his father and mother, made me feel awful. At first, it was just heartbreaking, but I kept getting angry. I hated those parents who were much less able than I was, and I hated that brother who had no special quality. When our father chose my brother as our family's official successor despite numerous objections from his relatives in the neighborhood, I had an urge to kill my brother.
    Everything in this family would belong to me if not for this loser of a brother.
    Of course, entering the administration with this head of mine, it would be simple for me to get a title. But it was no match for the money and power that came with my father’s position as a spy. I then made a promise to myself for the future : I'm still young and can't resist my father's decision, so I'll wait until I become an adult.
    And then, one day, as I happened to pass through the hall, I heard a conversation coming out of my father's room. A story about her that changed my life.

    "Lady Monique. Do you think she could become Alexis's partner?" asked my father.
    "What? How can you say such scary things? Lady Monique is the Crown Prince’s fiancée. To think of such a thing is treason! Someone could misunderstand your words" answered my mother.
    I burst out laughing. Wasn't Lady Monique's the Child of God? And you want to make her, the next Empress, your son’s wife. How delusional.
    I turned around then stopped. Unless he was dreaming of treason, my father, who was known for his cool-headedness, would not have uttered such words without thinking. Don't tell me there's any sign of a breakdown in the marriage agreement between the Monique family and the imperial family? His Majesty wouldn't abandon Lady Monique, so that meant it was the Marquis and his daughter who were trying to get out of their engagement with the imperial family.
    Did they intend to take advantage of the oath, the one that can only be used by the Monique family? How strange. Why refusing their good luck and stepping back from this great opportunity without any rival in sight?
    I was intrigued. I also thought it was good. I wondered what a woman who rejected the Crown Prince looked like, and why the hell did she do it. Besides, wasn't she the only direct descendant of the Monique family?
    Should I seize this opportunity?
    Surely my father would be sick if I fu*king snatched the girl he wanted for Alexis away. Wasn't the Monique family a distinguished family from generation to generation, with a merit equal to a spy? If I were to marry her, as she was an only child and a girl, I might be given the title. Wouldn’t that be ideal, killing two birds with one stone?


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapters 13 and 14]
    "I’m the second son of the Duke of Verita, Allendis of Verita. I'd like to see the Lady Monique."
    I knew it was ill-polite to visit without calling in first, but I had to go ahead secretly to pull the rug out from under my fu*king father and stupid Alexis. I was satisfied with the calmness of the employees. The reception room had a cozy atmosphere, and an unglamorous and stylish interior decoration.
    I waited a moment, and a little girl entered with a woman who seemed to be her maid. Did my father say she had turned ten this summer? The girl who looked much smaller than her age was far from cute. With her plain blue dress, her slim face, dry body and a calm demeanor she looked more mysterious and elegant than cute.
    She astonished me. Although she was about the same age as the noisy, ignorant girls who came to my house from time to time, she had a unique vibe. Perhaps because of silver hair that glew softly and waved, the girl gave off a dreamy feeling like she was being isolated from reality instead of being lively and bright like children normally were.

    "It is an honour to meet you, I am Aristia La Monique."
    I was surprised once again at the girl's greeting. Her calm voice was too harsh for a 10-year-old child. When the girl sat opposite me and stared at me, I felt it instinctively.
    She's one of my kind. Hiding behind a mask of gentleness, but I saw the swirling madness and the deep darkness in the golden pupils of her eyes. My heart, which had never been shaken since I was born, beat faster and faster.

    "Are you the one who proposed the new luxury tax?"
    "...Yes."
    She was no match for me, but she was much smarter and faster to understand than stupid Alexis or all the hollow people surrounding me.
    It was truly interesting. However, the most interesting thing was when I saw her look at her father when he protected her, rejecting my proposal to her.
    When I had seen the dark darkness and madness that had been raging in the golden pupils of her eyes, I had thought it was the unique look of a person who was not loved – just like me. But it didn't seem to be. The girl's eyes looked at her father with adoration and ecstasy. When I saw the deep darkness that emanated from the eyes of the girl, her obsession for her father, how she was desperately clinging to him, and her blind madness, I was mesmerized.
    It was insanely beautiful. I wanted it. What if that madness, blind obsession, was directed at me? Just thinking about it, my heart started beating like crazy. The original idea of screwing stupid Alexis flew away. I decided to do whatever I could to keep that look on me.
    But while I was revelling in this ecstasy, I made a grave mistake. While I wasn't controlling my face and concealing my feelings, the girl's father who was observing me saw me.
    Oh, you've caught me ? I've already figured out your daughter’s weakness, so it’s only a question of time now before she comes over to me. Then you won't be able to openly oppose it. Well, I've got a knack for waiting, so I'm fine. Slowly, little by little, I'll make her fall for me.


    ***
    "Aristia."
    "....hum?"
    I thought she was an unusual child, but the girl was really weird. She gave off a feeling of being out of touch with reality as if she had come from another world. She didn't laugh. But she never cried either. I had never seen her getting angry. Except for her noticeable dislike of physical contact, or the feelings she showed when looking at her father, the girl was like a doll without any emotion.
    I got goosebumps. Look at me with that ecstatic expression of yours, just like when you’re looking at your father. I want to have it. I want to see it. Show me that blind obsession, that dark madness, hum? Show me that crazy beauty. Please, my lovely doll lady.
    It took me two full years to let emotions leak out of her dreamy eyes. After countless attempts on my part, she became somewhat familiar with my touch and physical presence. I played the role of a cheerful boy, a loving warm friend, while reciting words meant for a lover. I didn't think I would ever get her blind faith if she ever caught the dark madness lurking inside of me. I tamed the girl slowly and drawn her to me little by little, sweeping away her wavy hair and holding her often. Soon, I could embrace her without her revolting at my touch.

    "Allendis."
    "Yes my lady?"
    Was it the compensation for all my efforts? The long-awaited light began to grow into the golden eyes. Obsession, madness, darkness, blind faith.
    I was ecstatic. It was beautiful. I wanted to lock her up right away and have her look at me only. Whenever I thought of that gaze, my heart leaped madly. So I met with the girl everyday. Had she not been forced to mix-up with the fu*king imperial family, I would certainly have kept her hidden in a place no one knew. I fell in love with that small silver-haired lady who had blind faith in me.

    "Are you going to the Imperial Palace today?"
    "Yes."
    Damn it. The girl was still the Prince's fiancée, even if she was struggling to escape. She had to spend time with the Crown Prince from time to time because of the Emperor.
    I didn't want to let her go there. I didn't want people to see her. I was afraid that the Crown Prince might notice her glorious beauty. The girl was at the palace everyday. She spent a hell of a long time there. On the surface, I was smiling as if everything was fine. Through careful spying, I was well aware that the Crown Prince was not interested in my lady, but I was still anxious. I was afraid that he would take her away from me.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 27 and 61]
    "Again."
    I poured the teacup on the carpet decorated with my family’s crest. Soon after, the maid came with another tea-pot in her trembling hands. After a sip, I poured the teacup on the floor again.
    That was disgusting.
    I tossed the teacup on the wet carpet.

    "Again."
    God damn it, can't you brew tea properly?! I clasped my throbbing chest.
    You're drinking tea with the Crown Prince by now, aren't you? Even if you don't show him that beautiful look that you only show me and your father, you’ll still be talking calmly with your gentle smile that subtly pulls up the corners of your mouth.
    Jealousy flared up. I wanted to go to the palace and drag her out at once. Clenching my boiling chest, I poured the new tea from my maid onto the carpet.

    "Again!"
    "I-I’m deeply sorry, master."
    The tearful maid was picking up the empty teacup I had tossed away when she suddenly dropped it. It shattered and scattered over the wet carpet. I snapped.
    "You idiot, you can’t do anything right ! Well, it's always been a family of idiots… My father, who doesn't even think about seeing me, my mother, and my brother… not to mention my poor brother. Get out !"
    The woman who was weeping without a sound, hurried out.
    I looked at the shattered teacup and picked up a book nervously. A little while ago, my girl said she enjoyed reading it. A long time ago, it was a book that I had read and memorised, but this time I was reading it to analyse which part my girl had found interesting and which part she would like to talk about, considering the nature of my little silver-haired lady.

    "Allendis" called my mother.
    "What's the matter. Anything to do with me that I don't care about?"
    "You don't look very well. What is going on?”
    "Why do you care?"
    "You came back early today. I don't know if there's anything going on with Lady Monique..."
    "Get out. Don't pay attention to me, just go and take care of my handsome brother."
    I turned away from the teary chocolate-colored eyes.
    Don't look at me like that. Unless you're going to love me, don't look at me like that. Don't pretend to care now. Go live with your proud eldest son who is so pretty. I don't need you. If you can’t look at me like my lady, get the fu*k out!
    It was none of my business if my mother turned away in tears. I focused my whole mind on the book again. I had to make up a story for tomorrow when I would meet my girl.

    [Volume 2 - Chapter 56 of the novel] [chapter 101 & 102 of the manhwa]
    Allen’s POV 2/6


    [The following scene appears in chapter 35]
    I couldn't stand to be away from the madly beautiful eyes of my girl for a day. But my daily visits to the Marquis’ mansion suddenly came to an end.
    As the second son of House Verita, I had to carry out my father's duties on behalf of my sick brother. Even though I was only fifteen. This was on the Emperor’s orders. He didn’t like me hanging around the girl.
    I was forced to follow my father out of the capital. I didn't have the power to resist at the time. I thought it would be a good occasion to prove my worth in anticipation of the day I would bring my little girl next to me.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapters 39 and 40]
    But when I returned to the capital the following spring, the girl was no longer alone. A man was circling around my lady, as if he had noticed her worth. A Knight in training.
    When I saw my girl hanging on with him, smiling brightly, I felt like my heart was full of emptiness. It was the first time I felt like this. Controlling my rising annoyance, I hugged her proudly.

    "Allen."
    Damn it. At first I approached her with the idea of taking her from Alexis. I was just thinking of swallowing up the Monique title. I liked to get the attention I was obsessed with. But it became precious. When I saw the girl smiling shyly, calling a nickname I had never allowed anyone to use, my empty heart throbbed. The sight of my lady, who showed tears of affection, was my downfall.
    Damn it. Now I wanted to have the girl herself, not just her gaze on me. Her blind faith in me was still ecstatic. But other things had become as precious as her trust. Her faint smile, her calm voice called me Allen, her silver hair as sparkling as a river, her golden pupil full of me.
    I was doomed. I was planning to lock the girl in my net, but before I knew it, I was the one trapped in hers. I laughed bitterly, but I thought it wasn't bad either. If she would look only at me, and give me all of her little body and mind.
    But first, I needed to deal with this guy. Carsein de Ras.
    The name was familiar to me. He was born the same year as me, and he was called a genius. We were both sons of Dukes. He was unrivaled in swordsmanship, but I couldn't believe that such a man and I were at the same level.

    "Sir Ras, thank you for keeping Tia safe while I was away. I've been wanting to see you once. I don't know if we'll see each other again, but I'm glad I could meet you at least once."
    "What?"
    I'm back, so get lost now. I looked at him with a sneering look, keeping a gentle smile on the surface. I wouldn't have smiled anywhere else, but this was my little girl's house, so I had to mind my face.
    "Ah, so it’s like this. Hey, I've got a rough idea of your personality, so why don't you show your true colors?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "I've know that you’re just pretending to be gentle in front of her, so show your true self, you weed."
    Look at this? I knew how to play cute. I wasn’t the son of a spy for nothing. I laughed.
    "I see you do have some sense, you little carrot boy."
    "What’s with this ‘carrot boy’?"
    "Didn’t you call me a ‘weed’? Judging by your poor choice of words, I’m sure you were referring to my hair colour. So I replied on a level you could understand. A carrot is a root plant belonging to the dirt, so that means you're under me."
    "You son of a b*tch!"
    "It's so tempting to provoke you. Why don’t you give it a shot? Do you think a day will come when your brain beats mine?"
    I smiled deeply at the disconcerting reddish face of the carrot. My stomach kept turning when I saw the guy who had hovered around my lady while I was away.
    "You seem to have been eyeing Tia while I was away."
    "So what?"
    "Get lost. Take my advice while I’m still telling you nicely. She's mine. I won't let anyone have her."
    "What's wrong with you?”
    "How much do you know about Tia, carrot boy?"
    I didn't have to close my eyes to remember everything. My longing for my little silver-haired lady sprang up. I wanted to see her. I just had to wrap things up quickly with this guy. Why was I missing you so much, my lady, when you had just left a while ago? You were missing me, too, weren't you? Wait a little be. I would be right back.
    "The first day we met was at 2:43 p.m. on the third day of the ninth month of the Empire. That day, Tia wore a simple blue dress. It was a knee-length dress. We've met a total of 561 times. Today is the 562nd. The time we spent together is 3,226 hours."
    "....What?"
    "We drank 1,358 cups of tea together. Lemon balm was the most frequent with 373 cups. Next is Hibiscus. 294 cups. I hugged her 901 times. I stroked her hair 1,384 times. "
    The carrot's expression distorted. It was quite eye-catching to see his face paling. I felt satisfied for a moment.
    "How long did you spend with Tia? Do you remember?"
    "Are you a complete nut?"
    "Maybe."
    "Hey, weed, does she know you're this crazy?"
    "What do you think? Does she seem to know?"
    "You son of a b*tch!"
    He ran away with a look of disgust. Maybe he wanted to grab Tia and make a big fuss about me.
    Stupid b*stard. She blindly trusts and follows me. She will not listen to you. It's a bad habit to gossip, and you're sure to find yourself in a bad position. Well, I've been looking for it, so go ahead and tell her whatever you want.

    "It's not right to speak ill of other people. I won't listen to you, Carsein."
    My heart tickled at the sight of my girl cutting him off without a doubt.

    ***
    [Here stops chapter 101]
    Ah, it was really lovely. My girl, mine, my love, my lady. My lady, whom I tried to enslave but enslaved me instead, is even more dazzlingly beautiful because she is still in the dark.
    Keep looking at me like that. I'll only look at you. Be obsessed with me, just like I'm obsessed with you. No one will hunger for you like I do. No one will long to have you like I do. (Oh Allen, you obviously don’t know Ruve.)
    You’re beautiful just like that, Tia. I want this, my lady. This is how things are going to stay, all right? My lovely and sweet, precious little doll lady.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapters 41 and 42]
    The trust and obsession the girl had for me were unlikely to disappear easily. Still, I was anxious that her blind faith would disappear, the golden eyes now looking at me would turn to someone else.
    When the carrot told me I didn't even know she had been sick from overtraining, I was terrified.
    Why didn't you tell me, Tia? Why? Don't tell me you don't trust me anymore? Or did he take your heart while I was gone? Or did the Crown Prince ever show interest in you? Why didn't you tell me? Why?!
    It was driving me insane. Even though I was still the only one in her eyes, the way Tia looked at the carrot was scary,. She was even looking strangely at the Crown Prince, even if she was afarid enough to bit him. My heart was pounding. What if she saw something in me she was not meant to see? I couldn't live without her already. Not now that I knew the feeling of ecstasy she was bringing me.
    Perhaps because of my extreme anxiety, I lost track of my usual rational thinking. And I made a terrible mistake again. An irrevocable one.

    "Will you not trust me, my lady? So that I can take some of your burden away."
    The girl showed me infinite trust, but there was still this secret she wouldn't share with me : how she became so dark and insane.
    I knew that even with someone you trusted, it was not easy to confide in. Because I never did myself.
    I didn't ask on purpose. For it was the first thing that made me fall for the silver-haired girl : her golden eyes full of darkness, her madness. I thought it was better for her not to heal. After overcoming her inner darkness, Tia may discover my own insanity and my wounds. If there were other brutes looking at my bright lady and finding her value, she might leave me.
    My little girl looked really beautiful when she was broken. Tia's blind obsessions always made me frantic. Her obsession for her father, her obsession with me, and her obsession for fencing. The sight of her running in front of her, ignoring everything else, always made me excited.
    I thought I had the time to regain her trust, but at the Prince's coming of age ceremony, my feeling of urgency increased. The mere thought of my girl spending time with the Crown Prince made me feel sick. I hadn't thought of the fact that now that she had been introduced in society, there would be more people around my lady and more social gatherings for her to attend.
    She was mine. She was my little girl.
    The fact that there were always others around Tia was irritating. I was anxious. I was afraid she would also look at others the way she was looking at me. Don't look elsewhere. Just look at me. I want you like this. Huh? Please. Stay my own girl, just like now.
    In a hurry, I urged the unprepared girl to speak about her secrets. I twisted my tongue eloquently to get what I wanted. I thought if I made her tell me about her inner darkness, she would rely more on me. And that it would get harder for her to leave me.
    No matter how many people surround you, make sure you don't get away from me. Even if there is a noticeable limitation on our time together because of the Prince's presence.

    "Tell me. I will carry your burden with you, and I will not abandon you or leave you" I said to Tia.
    I took advantage of my lady's strong obsession with me. I never had any intention of helping or healing her. I just wanted the messy her to hang on to me even more.
    "I want to escape that fate somehow. I don't want to end up hurting again. I..."
    "…"
    "I don't know what to do and how to get away from this fate.”
    The idea that Tia, who believed in me, was lying to me gave me a feeling of betrayal. That slowly dimmed my affection for her and I gradually forgot my initial determination to tame her.
    Alas, I should have listened more to Tia's story back then.
    I wish I had thought a little bit more about why she had suddenly brought up her dream story. I wish I had asked her to give me more detail, instead of saying I didn't know what she was talking about. It would have been nice if I had gone home and studied the contents as I usually did. Although I could not believe it, if I had gone home and thought about it, I would have known that it was the best explanation for Tia’s behaviour.
    I regretted it a few times, a few dozen times. I couldn't forget the sight of her blind trust being shattered, and the loss of those ecstatic, beautiful, mad golden eyes. It just kept coming back to my mind. The madness, the obsession… it had all fled in an instant.….
    I cannot forget the face of the girl who turned into a look-alike, and her change in attitude. Her fierce and repeated rejection of me.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapters 43 and 44]
    "Would you do me the honour of being my first dance partner as an adult?" asked the Crown Prince.
    "It is an honour, Your Highness" Tia answered.
    At the Crown Prince's ceremony my lady was dazzlingly beautiful. If the vibe that Tia had been giving off when we first met was a dreamlike thing that seemed out of touch with reality, what she was giving off now was a feeling of pure emptiness. It was so lovely that I was heartbroken.
    But seeing Tia wearing clothes tailored for another man, holding another man's hand, and dancing with another man was very painful. I could not take my eyes off her even though she was talking affectionately with the Crown Prince and turned her head away as soon as our eyes met. I was already obsessed with her.
    Don't look at him. Don't even smile at him. Don't talk to him. Look only at me, Tia. You're the only one looking at me. Just look at me. Give me one more chance. Trust me one more time. Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't do this, because you have made me unable to live without you, and I have fallen in love with your ecstatic beauty. Please. I beg you my lady.
    While I was hesitating for fear of being completely abandoned, my little girl went away to the land of Monique. I really felt like I was going crazy. Several times a day, it was tearing me apart.
    Do you want me to go there and take you right away? I’ll lock you up in a place no one knows. So that you can see no one else.
    I packed and unpacked every day. God damn it. I wanted to drag her out of her house and hide her away right now. But Marquis Monique was beside her. (Thank God for that… T.T)
    Come to think of it… You always said you'd take her away, but you didn't even set up a house for her, you idiot ! You're supposed to be a genius.
    I searched with all my heart and soul for a suitable place. Money was not a problem. I already had a lot of money. The hidden funds were still growing like snow, just in case of a confrontation with the Alexis.
    It's to set up a house on a small country estate that no one knows about. It's a place similar to the one my lovely little lady lives in. It's high-end, full of her favorites. I'm sure Tia will like it too. Then she'll look at me again with lovely eyes.
    So just wait a bit. I'll make perfect arrangements for you, my little silver-haired lady.
    When all the arrangements were finished, I wrote a letter to Tia. I tried to keep my image as soft and friendly as I could, suppressing my urge. I thought my little girl would send me a reply.
    But no matter how long I waited, the girl left me in the dark.
    I grew nervous. My anxious mind that had been soothed for a while by the decorating of Tia’s house once again dominated my mind. I wrote another letter. No reply came. Another letter. Left unanswered too.
    If I hadn't heard that carrot boy was going to the Monique estate, I might have dragged her out of it. The thought of this boy next to my lady made my blood boil, but this was my only option to get in touch with Tia, and persuade her. And keep her.
    I was also preoccupied by the Crown Prince's attitude during the ceremony. I could always get rid of the carrot kid, but the Crown Prince was still Tia's fiancé. Somehow he was dangerous. My genius brain kept sending me warnings. You have to watch out for the Crown Prince, you have to keep our little girl away from his eyes.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapters 48]
    "What are you doing here?"
    "Hey, carrot."
    "What's with your face? Why are you so desperate to come and see me, weed?"
    "You saw Tia and the Crown Prince at the ceremony."
    "...So?"
    "Let's join forces for now. You know that if Tia catches the Prince’s eye, it's all over for you and me right?"
    Damn it! Damn it! I didn't really like it, but I tried to repress the soaring anger, saying this was the best thing to do.
    "Give this to Tia."
    "Why didn’t you go give it to her yourself? Given your crazy personality, you would have been able to find her before."
    "I'm not qualified to go looking for her yet. Please, keep an eye on her for me."
    Damn, uttering those words scorched me. It's only this one time. Leaving my baby in the hands of another. I won't ever have to ask such a stupid thing ever again.
    It wasn't until I put the letter in his hands that I could get Tia's reply. Nothing was written on the finely folded silver letterhead, but for now it was satisfactory. The content was proof that Tia had begun to open her mind again.
    I'm not going to make a mistake this time. We're starting again, Tia. I'll approach you more carefully, more slowly, more warmly than before.
    The letters from my girl began to grow a little longer. My heart that has stopped since that day was constantly screaming, saying, "This is not enough," but I had to lower myself as much as I could to reconnect with the trust that had already been broken.
    Whenever it occurred to me that my silver-haired girl who had not returned to the capital for two seasons was spending time with the red-haired boy, I thought, "Should I just go and get rid of them all or bring her to the house I prepared for her?" My heart was burning, but I struggled to hold my anger in. Instead, I took my pen whenever I felt like I was going crazy.

    [Volume 2 - Chapter 57 of the novel] [chapter 102 of the manhwa]
    Allen’s POV 3/6


    "No."
    "Think carefully Allendis of Verita. Do you want to live in your brother's shadow for the rest of your life? Even though you're so much better?"
    "…"
    "If you join our faction, we will guarantee you the dukedom. Isn't that a reasonable deal? You just have to be our informer."
    "...Let me think about it."
    The aristocrats had always tried to negotiate behind the scenes, knowing that I was bitterly opposed to my father’s choice regarding the heir of our family. It wasn't a bad deal. The aristocracy, which lacked high ranked nobled, would get a duke on their side who can give steal information from the emperor's faction for them, and I could become the heir of my family.
    But it was also a very risky deal. Not only was the current Emperor not such a pushover, but my father was also one of the most powerful men of his time. That's why I was walking a fine line with the aristocracy on hold.

    "Tia."
    My lady had been out of touch since I heard the Prince had gone down to the Monique estate. An ominous foreboding hit my whole body, but there was no way for me to interfere. My mother and brother desperately stopped me from going down to the Monique lands. I really wanted to severe the ties between those two. If it weren't for my father's words about what I could and couldn’t do, I might have just done so and run away.
    When I heard that Tia had come back to the capital I thought she'd come to visit me soon. But days went by and blended into a week. She didn’t send me any letter either. When she got sick, I sent her chamdamo tae with a letter, but no reply came.
    My lady… Why don't come to see me ? Why don't you even reply? Do you still doubt me? Do you not need me anymore? Are you leaving me? Is that what it is, Tia?

    [In Chapter 60 we can see a noble from the aristocracy faction trying to recruit Allen, and Allen burning the letter of Duke Jenna (so clearly refusing the offer) and then asking himself why Tia hasn’t contacted him yet.]

    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 62]
    < Sir Allendis de Verita
    I shall be direct.
    I would like you to refrain from contacting my daughter. You have not forgotten that she is the Prince's fiancée. Now that she has made her debut in society, I am afraid your interacting with her will lead to false rumors.
    You have good sense so I am sure you will understand what I mean.
    Keirean la Monique. >
    This letter from the Marquis, the father of the girl, made me snap. You want me to refrain from interacting with her? The Prince's fiancée?! Tia has always been all mine. She was my life.
    F*ck you.
    I was going to spare you as much as I could because you were her father. And for my lady, who must be absolutely loyal to the emperor, I was going to be quietly in the shadow of the emperor's faction, even if I didn't like it. But I have changed my mind.
    Monique, I’m going to break you. If your daughter is left alone, it'll be easier to bring her by my side. I didn't like sharing my little girl's blind obsession anyway.


    ***
    [This scene appears in chapter 88]
    "I'll join you."
    "Good, Allendis. You won't regret it."
    As I joined the aristocracy faction, I smiled brightly as people welcomed me warmly.
    Wait, my lady. I'm getting ready to bring you in little by little.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 63 and 64]
    One day when I was stealing my father's papers and gathering information from the Emperor's faction, my lady finally visited me.
    At first, I thought it was just a fantasy. So I cursed my broken mind. When I heard the calm voice calling me, I finally realised that my lady was really here and reached out my trembling hand.
    My heart sank when I saw the girl stepping back from my touch.
    As soon as Tia grabbed my hand, I realised it was my lady who was standing in front of me, and yet... it was not her.
    The darkness in the golden pupils of her eyes which had always fascinated me, the heavy madness, the blind obsession had disappeared. Only a speck of it remained. It used to be so big that anyone were able to see them… now it seemed unnoticeable. What the hell happened? How did she change? Who was this girl? She was not the girl I knew.

    "Tia, is it really you?"
    "Yes."
    "Tia."
    "Yes, Allen."
    "Tia, Tia, Tia…"
    I hugged her closely because I was scared to see her unfamiliar face. I sang her name over and over. The girl I was looking at blindly. My little girl, with her little golden eyes, with dazzling darkness. But my cold and sinking heart was already realising it. The girl I loved, the one who only looked at me, was gone. She was lost to me forever. I could never see her again.
    A sudden rush of loneliness came. I had missed her so much that I felt sad even though I was holding her tightly. Tears flowed from my eyes, which had never got wet before.

    "Sorry, Tia. Were you surprised?"
    The girl in front of me was also my lady, though I said she was gone. She still had everything I care about, except for the eyes that used to make me ecstatic.
    [In the manhwa in chapter 64 Allen and Tia have tea and Tia actually sees Allen’s spying activities, without realising what she is looking at. She trusts Allen to much to doubt him. But I think it will be important in the future.]

    ***
    When we ran into her father in front of Tia's house, I deliberately called her by her nickname in front of him. At that moment, the look of the Marquis hardened. He should have understood that we wouldn't have mind his warning, so he had tried to keep us apart.
    But I could never let go of Tia.
    What do I do, my lady? You've become so lovely. What should I do, Tia? Even your unbroken self makes me excited. Should I destroy you or should I protect you? (T-T)
    The smile I saw earlier made me so excited. What do we do now, Tia? What should I do? My lady.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 70 (and 71)]
    "Hello, Allendis. I heard you joined the administration. Congratulations."
    One winter day, three months before my seventeenth birthday, I entered the administration. It wasn't that difficult. Of course, the Emperor's faction actively supported the idea, and the aristocracy only welcomed it in a formal way.
    I couldn't decide what to do yet, so I just wandered around my lady who had joined the Knights. Every time she was with the redhead. I hated that my little girl liked him. I agonised several times a day. I thought I'd quit everything and just lock her up far from them all.
    Whenever I saw that man stroking her silver hair, I wanted to cut off his hand. Where do you dare put your hands? She's mine ! My own little girl. I wanted to cut down the grin from his face. I wanted to get rid of him right away, but I couldn't show this in front of my lady. So I repressed my exploding anger.
    I still needed him. Because I couldn’t keep the Crown Prince from my baby on my own. She was his fiancée in name only, but it still tied her to him. It was deplorable, but there was nothing I could do right away except calm down.


    ***
    "Hey, did you hear the rumor? Apparently the second son of the Duke of Ras and the child of God, Lady Monique, are lovers. That's why the prince's fiancée is so..."
    "What did you say?"
    "Didn't you know? Everyone’s talking about it."
    God damn it.
    The scandal, which had initially been dismissed as mere gossip, was spreading increasingly because of the aristocracy that began to spread that rumor with malicious intent.


    ***
    "I need your help, Mother."
    I went to visit the woman named my mother whom I had never looked for. Rumors circulating in society must be resolved in society. Our family was one who was a key force in the emperor's faction and could resolve the issue from the perspective of a third party.
    I turned away from the touching chocolate-colored eyes.
    "Don't think I’m forgiving you just because I ask for help once. I'm just using you because I need you."
    Damn it, I felt very dirty asking for a favour from her.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 73]
    I gritted my teeth. It made me feel terribly wretched to define myself as her friend, but I had too if I wanted to crush the rumors.
    The rumors would have been silenced without my little girl knowing anything about them, if not for this stupid woman.

    "The rumors say that Lady Monique and Lord Ras are lovers..."
    I'll kill you. I was already getting irritated.
    I glared at the woman who had no idea what she had just said. I saw her turn pale, but I didn't mind. Because my face couldn’t be seen by my lady's eyes. Everyone except carrot and Tia was stiff with astonishment.
    I'll just smash everything up. I felt dirty because you were showed the warmth of my little girl.

    "I-I’m sorry Sir Allendi... I-I’ll have to take my leave.."
    That's the smartest thing you’ve done today. I don't know what I would've done if I'd seen a little more of that annoying face of yours.
    Who's in love with whom? How dare you talk about it? Tia is mine. She's my girl. My lady, my own. I don't give her to anyone. She’s lost to anyone. I'm the first who has find her. I'm the first who fell in love with her. So that child is mine. Mine, not anyone else. She's only my girl. How dare you get her involved with someone else?
    "A jewel mine is a dangerous place. You don’t know when an accident will happen. There's a lot of people who covet such riches."
    "S-Sir..."
    "I've heard rumors that there are a lot of people looking around your mines these days. You'd better be careful."
    "Th-th-thank you."
    I faintly glared at the dumb woman who answered with a trembling voice. But my simmering anger melted away as soon as I saw Tia smiling brightly at me when I returned.
    Ah, Tia, my lady, my angel, my everything. As expected, you are the only one.
    You always smile at me even though everyone is afraid of me. Even if it's because you haven't seen my darkness, I'm fine with it. I love you, Tia. Keep smiling at me like you do now. My silver lady, dazzlingly beautiful.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 74]
    At the New Year's greetings, I studied closely as Tia greeted Alexis. I was very curious about how my lady, still wary of others, would treat Alexis. Although they were greeting each other with courtesy, I was satisfied with what I saw. They just looked at each others as strangers. I shut my eyes before stupid Alexis showed more interest in my lady.
    Don't look at her. She's not the kind of girl you can go after.
    The Emperor glanced at me. Fortunately, he didn't seem to know that I had a leg up in the aristocracy faction. Of course, I couldn't guarantee it. The current emperor had slaughtered half of the nobility of the Empire. He was the one who had killed all his brothers and sisters except for the Duchess of Ras because they tried to challenge his position as Crown Prince.
    I had to be as careful as I could. For myself, and for Tia, who would be brought to my side later.


    ***
    [Carsein’s knighting ceremony appears in chapter 78 and 79, but is very different from the novel.]
    Not long after the new year, the red-hair was officially appointed as an official Knight.
    I felt dirty, but I couldn't help but admit his talent. That's why I didn't choose to be a full-time Knight, even though it was a much simpler way to get married than to wait until Tia became the heir of the Monique family.
    I hated to admit it, but he was a genius in swordsmanship. His talent was a step above mine, at least in swordsmanship, and his time and effort far exceeded mine. If I were to walk the Knight's way, I would have been pushed by him and always ended up in a dime. I would have rather died than ending under his command.

    "Weed, I didn't expect you to come. What's going on?"
    "Well."
    The noblemen, who began to trust me fairly with the information I had brought several times, had asked me to attend his celebration party. Since it was a party were only the Emperor's faction was invited, there were high-quality information that could not be easily accessed coming and going. I had no choice but coming.
    I twisted my mouth slightly, looking at the carrot boy who looked serious.

    "Think what you want."
    My lady wasn't here anyway, so I didn't have to mind my face. When I was walking around collecting information, I suddenly heard something that made my heart sunk.
    "The Empire's Rising Sun, Ruveliss Kamaluddin Shana Castina, the Crown Prince, and Aristia La Monique."
    Who's here? Who is my lady coming with?
    As I bent deeply, I saw a girl in a blue purple dress with a white ribbon, as if tailored to match the Crown Prince white outfit. My heart sank.
    Why did the Crown Prince show up here?
    He's not even interested in Tia, but he came here unofficially to escort her, and he's dressed up to match with her. Did he notice the charm of the silver girl? Did he find out the dazzling beauty of my lady who was invisible when she was in the dark? Is he falling in love with my lady, just like me, and the red-haired boy?
    When the crown prince called out the redhead and me and nailed us as Tia's friends, one side of my heart became cold. Jealousy flared up when I saw him asking my lady for a dance in front of everyone.
    It was a curse. My position as only the second son of a spy. The reality is that I can't say that I'm in love with this woman. Looking closely at the dancing couple, I felt as if I were falling into an abyss.
    It was ominous. It felt as if the ground was splitting apart under me. I couldn't see it properly, but I felt a sense of uneasiness watching my lady's eyes looking at the crown prince. Unlike her previous fear, she had a calm look, somewhat cautious attitude. It might just have been courtesy towards the Crown Prince, a member of the royal family, as she was a member of the Monique family forever loyal to the imperial family, but somehow it didn't feel good. I felt a chill in my spine.
    For a moment I couldn't see my lady who had gone out dancing with the carrot anymore.
    Where did you go?
    I had forgotten my first purpose of gathering information. When I looked at her she had a strange unnatural look on her face. She had a fierce and sharp gaze and a wry smile. That smile was not something I had ever seen. It was a social smile. A smile that never showed any sincerity.
    My heart ached. I fell in love with her broken self, and I thought that if I didn’t let her out of the dark, she would only look at me. I felt sick when I saw she was already healed but had to twist herself.
    Don't smile like that, Tia. Don't be sad, my lady. What the hell is going on? Who made you do this? Who made my precious little girl so sick? Don't get sick. Don't get hurt. My precious lady.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 84, although Allen only kisses Tia’s wounded hand.]
    "I feel like I'm getting out of touch with you these days, Tia. I feel like I'm gradually trying to fly away where I can't catch it."
    Holding on to my sour chest, I managed to talk. I thought she was my unwavering lady, but since I had returned from the land, the girl had been a little strange somewhere. I had not changed yet, and I had always been afraid that the growing tia would fly away from me. It was hard to get a night's sleep because of my anxiety, but I comforted myself, thinking that it would be enough if I kept her within my grasp.
    But damn it. I fell in love with her shadow, but I was blinded by her light. I was scared. I lost my confidence more and more. I had not gotten out of the dark yet. How could I hold onto Tia who had begun to shine so brightly?
    Before I knew it, I leaned over her shoulder and looked down at the sleeping silver-haired girl.
    What shall I do with you, my lady?
    Now I want your heart. I love you, not the blind faith you showed me as a child, not just your warm eyes. What am I gonna do? I think I'm really into you. What do I do now? I don't think I can get away with you anymore.

    "Tia."
    I wish the time would stop, but before I knew it, the carriage stopped. As I looked out through the half-open window, I saw a light approaching the carriage.
    Were you waiting for your daughter to come home, Marquis?
    You are truly loved, my lady.
    I glanced down at the sleeping Tia.

    "Tia, we've arrived. You have to get up now."
    I whispered in her ear and shook his shoulders gently. But as if she were very tired, the little girl did not wake up.
    As I was about to shake her up again, I saw the neat silvery eyelashes and pink lips slightly stretched under her cute nose. My heart leaped suddenly. Somehow I couldn't take my eyes off her lips. My mouth was dry.
    I hesitated for a moment, then slowly stretched out my arms. My fingers touched her pink lips.

    "Hum…"
    I swallowed a tense sigh and carefully caressed the soft skin. My heart sank when her warm breath reached the tip of my hand.
    I glanced out the window. The flickering light was getting quite close. I closed the window reflexively.
    I lowered my face towards my beloved lady with a trembling heart. As the distance closed between us, the blood of my whole body ran faster. My heart beat as if it were bursting out of my chest. What if this noise waked her up?
    When I was within breath's reach, I slowly closed my eyes. And...
    At last our lips met.
    My heart seemed to stop. I inhaled her lips carefully, which were softer than feathers and softer than baby's skin. My heart, which had always been crying out from loneliness, was all silent.

    "Uh."
    The girl's lips curled with a soft curve.
    "It's warm."
    The small whisper from her soft lips filled me in a gulp, which seemed to be always empty somewhere. If I could, I wanted to stay like this forever.
    As soon as I was relieved of my disappointment, the carriage door burst open. The Marquis eyebrows stood erect when he saw the sleeping girl. The Marquis took the girl from my arms in a cold manner. Still unconscious, the girl called her father and dug into his arms.
    From the back carriage, I stole a glance at the girl's lips. When I recalled the sensation, I suddenly felt a deep thirst. Not long ago, I felt as if I had the whole world, but my greedy head was hoping for something more than that.
    I want it, my lady. Can you come to me, Tia?
    Can't you just look at me and think about me like I do?
    My lady, please.

    [The manhwa doesn’t show Allen stealing Tia’s first kiss and taking advantage of her while she is unconscious. Instead it mildly pictures him only kissing her hand as she sleeps.]
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019
  7. Eodez

    Eodez Well-Known Member

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    [Volume 2 - Chapter 58 of the novel] [chapter 102 of the manhwa]
    Allen’s POV 4/6

    [This passage was extremely hard to understand, and I doubt it will be included in the manhwa. It could only be a dream, or it could be that Allen has a kind of bipolar / multiple personality problem. He’s talking about falling asleep and waking up too much to understand if the scene is imaginary or real. If anyone knows more about this, let me know what’s happening and I’ll make corrections accordingly.]
    "Allen?"
    A month after my seventeenth birthday, I was frantically busy with the first birthday party of the Crown Prince since I entered the administration. I hadn’t seen my lady for a while. That day was the same. I was pressed by the time. I had been awaken for a while, and I could feel someone reaching out to me. I woke up in an instant. [I think Allen is talking about his other personality waking up here.] I opened my eyes and snatched my opponent's wrist. As soon as I grabbed him and strangled him on the sofa, I was surprised by the familiar colours that spread out before me. The opponent was not an assassin. It was my lady.
    I could see silver hair in disarray and gold shaking eyes. A face I had missed so much. My lovely girl, my lady, who has come to my mind over and over again. I felt a deep thirst when I saw her looking up at me with her big eyes wide open. The pink lips, which I remembered tasting one day, attracted me. I wanted them. I wanted to reach them.
    Can we try it one more time, Tia? Yes?
    I was a little nervous. I could sometimes see the dark eyes that had made me fall in love a few years ago through my lady's eyes.
    No. Don't do that. Look at me. Or rather don't look at anyone. Don't hold me in your heart unless you're going to put me in your heart.
    I was angry at the way she tried to take her wrists out of my grip.
    Why are you trying to avoid me now? Don't do that, Tia. Don't leave me. Don't push me away. I'm here all the time. Why do you keep getting away? Don't leave me alone in the dark. If I take you by force, then you'll look at me. Will you stay with me if I destroy you? It's heartbreaking not to have your whole heart, but it's better than seeing you next to someone. Stay with me. In this deep darkness. Stay with me, in this dark shadow. It's just too hard for me to go out into the world of light.
    I loved the sight of her golden pupils only reflecting me. As I gradually lowered my face, the other things in my lady's eyes gradually disappeared. That's it, my lady. That's how you should look at me. With your eyes only full of me.

    "A-Allen…"
    I was awakened by the shivering voice calling me. Eyes full of fear. A face drained of blood. My heart sank when I saw the terror on my little girl’s eyes.
    What was I just about to do? Am I really going crazy now that I've been so quiet in the dark for so long?
    I'm sorry, Tia. I know better than anyone else that I'm not ready, but I've been craving you for so long that I keep forgetting myself. I'm getting impatient for fear that you will fly away, that you will walk away in the light, leaving me alone in this darkness.
    My heart suddenly broke. Surely you were locked in the same deep darkness as me, living in the raging madness, when did you leap out and shine like this? Teach me how, too. Give me your hand, too. Now that I know the joy of being together, I don't want to live in my own shadow anymore. Please don't abandon me, Tia. Don't leave me.


    ***
    "Your Excellency is looking for you."
    "OK, I'll be right there."
    I didn’t really want to go to the Crown Prince's birthday party. I arrived late and saw Tia laughing in front of the crown prince in the banquet hall.
    I headed to the meeting place. While listening to the conversation, I was awakened by the mention of Monique's name.
    You tried to kill my little girl? Many times? You'll be looking for a chance? I'll put this information on hold for now.
    For a moment, I thought it would be okay. I'd rather she was dead rather than seeing her with another man. Because the Tia I loved was alive and well in my memory. The little girl in my head was smiling brightly, showing blind faith in me.
    If I were to close my eyes and ears, I could live forever with the lovely lady who remained in my memory. I wouldn't hear her calm voice calling me directly through my ears, and I wouldn't see her through my eyes, but I thought I could bear it. I thought it would be better to lose her than her lovely past self being slowly erased by her future self.
    But when I came home and saw the green hair strap that I had cherished in my desk drawer and the initials of my lady embroidered on its tail, and the silver letter of the little girl who had written down about her wounds little by little without a hint of doubt even after her blind trust in me had been broken, I burst into tears.
    Oh, Tia.
    I could not hurt Tia even though I knew her heart was gone and I knew that she would not stay with me anymore unless something was done. The one is my memories was precious, but my lady who lived and breathed under the same sky was even more precious. Damn, I just couldn't let go of my girl.
    Inside the double-layered cord of the hair strap, there was a flower of Dela, which was invisible to the outside, that said, "Blessed love will be achieved." It was it made with the love I had for my little girl, who always wore her hair tied while on duty.
    I did this because I thought you'd look at me if you ever see it. I know it is useless, but if I didn’t have any hope, I don't think I would have any will to heal.


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 94, although in the manhwa Tia wakes up and sees Allen kissing her hair. And the whole scene is really lighter than in the novel. The manhwa readers will never know how close to death Tia was at this moment.]
    "Wow, it's pretty."
    Tia smiled at the green hairband. I clutched my throbbing chest as I looked at her silver hair pouring down like a waterfall. I was looking at Tia showing her back unprotected and the strings in my hands. A cold voice whispered in my heart filled of pain.
    "She doesn't love you. She doesn’t look at you. She’s going to leave you and run away. You'll be alone again. You'll struggle with loneliness and get stuck in the dark."
    "No, she won’t. She's not such a cruel woman." I protested.
    "Don't be ridiculous." said the cold voice which was teasing me for the first time. "You know it. That she doesn't love you. Are you just gonna watch her go to another guy like this? I'd rather kill her. If you can't have her, no one will. As time goes by, she'll get farther and farther. If you're sad enough to handle it now, just get rid of her. So that no one can have her. She's alive in your memory anyway. Smiling at you."
    I clasped the hair strap with trembling hands. As I gathered her silver hair together, the white nape of the neck was revealed. A slender neck that felt like it would break if you stretched and grabbed it with one hand. If I just curled this cord around her neck, it wouldn’t be long before she leaves for a world where no one can hold her. And she would only live and breathe in my memory. Even if the years go by and have her fade away from the minds of others, I will still vividly recall her. My long-cherished desire. To have a girl who only looks at me and loves me, whom only I can see and that no one else can covet.
    As soon as I tried to swirl the ribbon around her thin neck, I could see Tia's face reflected on the window. The girl blinked slowly and ended up slowly closing her eyes to sleep.
    The day when I saw some of the swirling madness within me, my little girl was leaning against the window with a serene face, no fear, no apprehension, as in her childhood, when she was blindly trusting me.
    How can you trust me so much, Tia?
    No matter how much I act in front of you. You shouldn't believe me this much. Your father noticed it instinctively and hated me. How can you trust what am I like so ? Can't you see the rolling darkness in me? Or are the remnants of your blind trust that I thought had already disappeared, deeply embedded in you? Even I doubt it. How can you be so free in front of me without a speck of anxiety?
    Maybe I've gone mad already. I can't believe I'm thinking of ruining her, who is the only one who trusts me that much. It's only recently that I thought I couldn't hurt her. But I did try to kill this beloved silver-haired girl.
    The hand holding on to the hair strap trembled.
    I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
    I kissed the silver hair of my beloved girl with a guilty heart.


    ***
    [This following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    "Why did you want to meet me in secret, Sir Verita?"
    After days and nights of contemplation, I asked for a secret meeting with His Majesty. I asked my father for his help for the first time in my life. For I needed secrecy to keep the aristocrats from noticing.
    Facing a sharp gleaming blue pupil, I confided what had been going on. The kind of information stolen from the Emperor's family, behind-the-scenes negotiations with the four kingdoms except for the Kingdom of Lua. And the plans and details of Tia's assassination which I only barely got to know a few days ago.
    After all my efforts, I still didn't have the strength to protect my little girl. It did not matter if I was to be punished for betraying the forces supporting the emperor and stealing information. It was much more important for me to protect my beloved girl.
    His Majesty, hearing my talk without much agitation, offered me a deal. In exchange for him blocking the plot of the nobility and protecting my lady, I would steal the high-quality information from the nobility and give it to the department that is conducting a background check on the royal daughters. [The Emperor is talking about the information on Princess Moira of Ite and her deal with Duke of Jenna.] I knew it was an unfair deal. Now that he knew the truth, the Emperor had no choice but to protect my lady. However, the fairness of the deal was not important. It was more important for me to protect Tia. From the intrigue of the aristocracy, and from me who may be sucked into the dark at any time.

    "Even if you provide us with these information, it doesn’t erase your sins. Why did you confide in me? I can tell it's to ease your sense of guilt. Is it because of her?"
    "…"
    "I must be right. She's such a jewel. The light of our Empire. Then, what should I do with you, who is interested in my future daughter-in-law? Your sins are quite heavy."
    "I'll take any punishment, even if it is death."
    "Huh, I’m not such a fool. How can I execute such a man as yourself so easily? Let's do this. This is what my punishment for you is."

    ***
    I missed Tia. I wanted to see her. But I couldn't. Now I was dangerous. In order to protect Tia from me who might go crazy at any time, I had to reduce our time together as much as possible. I gnashed my teeth and turned away as I looked toward the 1st Infantry Division where my lady was.
    But the power of the nobility was deeper than I thought. Well, that's why the current emperor hadn't been able to get rid of it.
    The aristocrats were meeting in a a shabby house in the plebeian part of the town. I was struggling to extract the information on the royal daughters and the details of Tia’s assassination scheme.
    Money was very important in a power struggle. Tia was already at the top of Sharia's purse strings: Noon and Naira, who owned the jewel mine; and Senk, a jeweler's. Tia was a member of the emperor's family, and she created a huge ripple effect by tying up places that were largely unnoticed. With no help from anyone, only by her own strength. I had to be extra cautious to deceive the Duke of Jenna, who was grinding his teeth at my lady.
    I walked down the street with joy and sorrow at the accomplishment of my beloved girl.
    I miss you more today, Tia. How are you, my lady?
    I sorely missed her silver hair, and the warm, shining golden pupils of her eyes. If I hugged her and told her I was too tired, what would she do? I'm sure the sweet silver lady would console me. But it would just be a consolation as a friend, not as a heartbroken lover.
    I saw something glistening. A sliver of silver hair in the corner of a store. The shivering silver which shone like a moonlight somehow reminded me of my young lady, so I couldn't just pass by. Unknowingly, my feet headed for the store. When I saw a kitten crouching without even thinking of struggling, I remembered a silver girl who kept loving me. I stroked its hair carefully and soothed it. It wasn't until a long time later that I was fascinated by the golden eyes of the cat that slowly lifted its head.

    "...Tia."
    I paid for it. I didn't even know how much. And I brought the kitten home. I just couldn't leave behind a little life that looked just like my little girl.
    I named her "Tia" after the girl I loved. When I saw the kitten that needed me blindly following me like a mother, I thought of my silver girl when I met her for the first time.
    For a while I spent my time pouring my love into the cat that looked just like Tia instead of the girl I loved so much.

    "Hello, Allendis."
    A week after I met with His Majesty, I came across my lady who was walking with her redhead friend in the outer palace.
    When I saw the two people together, I was heartbroken. But I was more than happy to meet Tia, whom I had missed terribly.
    Tia, my little girl, glad to see you alive. I was happy for a moment when I saw the green hair strap, which holds silver curls together.
    Do you know? Inside the colored hair laces I gave you, there are Dela flowers embroidered for your lover.
    But it occurred to me that I had to get away from her quickly. I didn't know what would happen if I was seen with Tia by someone from the aristocracy faction at the moment when the assassination plans were put in action. I didn't mind being suspected, but I couldn't risk them changing the assassination plans without my knowledge.
    I managed to say goodbye to my beloved lady and turned around. I was choked by the surging longing.
    No, don't look back. Don't forget your decision to protect her.

    [Volume 2 - Chapter 59 of the novel]
    Allen’s POV 5/6

    [This following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    At the National Foundation Banquet, the thought of seeing my beautiful silver girl being with the Crown Prince made me feel heartbroken and unable to participate.
    I miss you, my lady. I really miss you, Tia. Can't I go see you just once? I know I shouldn't approach you to protect you. I know it may be dangerous, but can't I really go see you once, just once?
    After hesitating, I finally attended the banquet on the third day. As soon as I entered the banquet hall, my heart beat fast at the sight of my silver-haired lady.
    So many people surrounded my lady. Tia smiled and talked to everybody around her.
    You're getting more and more dazzling, Tia. You're taking off to a different world from me, my lady.

    "May I have this dance?"
    Her dazzling beauty made me ask her for a dance. My lady, who had her hair curled up like a river, wore a light-green dress, different from usual. A fresh, sunny atmosphere sprang up from the little silver girl like shoots rising in spring, like light shining through the darkness.
    Tia, with a rapt smile, took my hand. The warmth from our joined hands filled my empty chest with fierce emotions. She was so pretty.
    Time, stop right now. May this moment last forever, when I can hold my baby in my arms in the presence of all men.
    The more the music flowed, the more the dance got closer to its end, and the sadder I got and the most difficult it was to control my mind. When I decided to attend the banquet, I thought I would just look at her face from afar. But I became greedier and greedier and kept asking for more, always more. I didn't have much time left, and there were so many things I had not done with my baby.
    I thought this would be the last time I could see my little girl. When she agreed to go to the town festival with me, I kept laughing because I felt like I was floating in the air.


    ***
    [This following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    "I'm sorry, Sir Verita. Lady Aristia cannot receive any guests at the moment."
    "And for what reason?"
    "The Lady is sleeping because she's not feeling well."
    Not feeling well? I frowned at the housekeeper’s words. What was wrong with her? She looked fine when I saw her at the banquet. Don't tell me the Marquis ordered his staff to prevent me from meeting with Tia.
    "What does she suffer from?"
    "She’s got a fever, and I was told not to disturb her rest."
    "I'll wait."
    "I don't know when she’ll wake up."
    I was angry at the young butler.
    "You're but a mere butler. Since when did a butler gives order to a man of noble birth?"
    "...I apologise."
    "Good. If the Lady wakes up, tell her I’m in."
    I glanced coldly at the butler and stared down at the basket containing the kitten. The time when I would join the mission to the Kingdom of Lua on His Majesty’s orders was approaching.
    I couldn't take a cat that was sensitive to the changing environment with me. So I brought it here because I thought it would be good if I left it to my lady.
    My little silver-haired girl, who seemed to have little emotion on the surface but who was warm inside, would take good care of Tia, a cat named after her. And I thought that maybe it would remind her of me every time she would look at the cat.


    ***
    [This following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    "It's been a long time, Tia."
    "Has it? It's only been three days."
    The silver-haired girl looked a little pale. I was upset at the sight of her emaciated look, but when she said we had only been apart for three days, as if it was nothing to her, I was heartbroken.
    Three days. A long time for lovers, but a short time for friends. This showed how different our feelings were, so there was no way for me to hide my bitterness. I was so sure that I was the only one for her at the beginning… How did we end up like this?
    Maybe it's a good thing. I don't think it'll be too hard for you if I leave.
    My lovely lady, it is cruel of you to keep drifting away from me, when I have to leave soon.
    What shall I do with you, beautiful and cruel Tia ?


    ***
    [The following scene appears in chapter 99]
    "Allen, what should people do when they want to get rid of their shadow?"
    Tia, now you're dazzling, but sometimes I could still see the darkness passing through your eyes. I guess you finally realised its presence, and you want to get rid of your shadows completely and move on to the world of light, my lady.
    Tia, the only way to hide your shadows is to be in the dark. Only light can reveal shadows. So you must avoid the light if you want your shadows to disappear. I've never been out in the world of light, so I don't know any other solution. I don't know how to get rid of shadows. Can you teach me one day if you find out? A way out of this darkness, a way out of this awful shade.
    You're shining. And I've always been a shadow pursuing you. I was your shadow. And I'd rather remain a shadow if it means I can follow you always. So, Tia, don't hate shadows too much. Don't deny the shadow too much, my lady. The shadow that is after you will be very sad to know what you're thinking. If you deny it, it will have to hide in the dark and disappear quietly.
    My moonlight, my love, my lady, do I really have to fade away like a shadow? I'll do it if it’s what you wish, Tia. Shadows that have been discarded by their owners have no meaning to exist. I'll do that if you want, my lady. If it’s what you want, be a brilliant light.

    "Wow, there are so many people."
    My little girl looked excited as she wandered around and smiled brightly as if she had no cares and worries.
    Maybe this was our last date, the last chance to be alone with the girl I loved, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't rejoice or smile wholeheartedly. My heart was empty. I knew I would regret not enjoying this moment later, but I couldn't just.
    If you're having fun Tia, that's enough. I'm fine. I can capture your joy in my memory. As I told you one day, I can recall the countless memories I made with you. I can think of you smiling prettily.
    I'm glad you said this time with me was fun. That's a relief for sure. That way our last date could be a good memory for you.


    ***
    [The theatre play appears in chapter 99]
    Before I knew it I was falling into the content of the performance. As the story progressed, I couldn't take my eyes off it.
    I saw myself overlapping with the sight of the young man sending letters to the maiden over and over again. When Tia went down to her estate, I wrote dozens of letters that I couldn't send.
    When the young man failed to confess to the maiden, everybody laughed around me, even my lady laughed, but I couldn’t because I sympathised with the youth more than anyone else. It was like I was the young man. I felt so close to his desperate heart.

    "How harsh is love? When I saw you smiling at me, it was as sweet as honey. When I saw you in a pure white dress for another man, it burnt me like a vicious poison. Now all I have left is a heart that has been turned to ashes. My dear friends, be happy. I will sprinkle flowers of blessings for you."
    The young man’s last sentence stabbed me in the heart.
    I was just like him. It was as sweet as honey when Tia was smiling at me. But seeing her smiling at the Crown Prince made my heart burn as if it had been poisoned.
    What if one day I had to see my lady wedded to another man, dressed in her wedding gown for him? Maybe I would take the same path as a young man. For I would have lost the will to live. My heart would be burnt to ashes and there would be no reason to exist anymore.
    When I saw the face of my lady who kept looking down at the red flowers she was holding, I was determined. I didn't know if she would accept my feelings, but I would confess. I shall not live and die like this young man, I have to convey my feelings to her. That way at least I won't have regrets.

    "I like you, Tia."
    No, I love you. I long for you and I miss you. I want you to smile at me and just look at me only. I pray every day that you have the same heart as me. When I see you, I'm happy. How can I express these feelings in one word? But I'm just saying this for you, Tia. I'm afraid you'll be scared if you find out what I'm going through. Forgive my selfishness, my lady. I can't get over my feelings and I must burden you.
    "...Allen."
    When Tia, who had been fumbling at the bouquet for a long time, raised her face, I realised that I would be rejected.
    When I saw the silver girl shedding tears saying she was sorry, my heart sank.
    I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to love me. I thought if you accepted me, I could throw away all my vanity and ambition for a title. But it was just a dream.
    In the end I am your shadow, the poor shadow that pursues the moon that illuminates the dark.
    When I saw the red blood on her little lips, I was upset. The pain of being rejected was great, but I was more heartbroken at the sight of my wounded lady. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I already knew you didn’t love me. Forgive me for hurting you out of my selfishness. Don't cry, Tia. Smile, my lady.
    I don't want to leave you crying. I don’t want this to be my last memory of you. I wanted you to be in the dark like me, but you were always meant to shine. Your smile is prettier than your tears. So don't be sad, Tia. Please, I've done everything wrong.

    "Tia..."

    ***
    [The following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    I thought I had given up all hope, but when I saw the girl walking along me in a daze, my heart shook.
    Can't you stay with me, Tia? I will cherish and love you more than anyone else. I will devote my whole life to you, for God's sake.
    I burnt with desire and covetousness. My empty heart was blazing. I want her. I won’t let her escape. I want to keep her in my sight and make sure I'm the only one who looks at her.
    Look at me. Come to me, for I love you so much. Don't go. Stay with me. Please, my lady.
    What if I dragged her to the old house and locked her up? There was food and money in the safe house of the aristocracy that I had been to the other day. As long as I stopped there and get the supplies I needed and got out of the capital before the end of the day, no one would be able to find my lady. I hid enough money for our entire life anyway. As long as we get out of the capital without being discovered, no one will find us hiding for the rest of our lives. I don’t have a genius brain for nothing.
    My heart throbbed at the sight of unsuspecting Tia. As soon as we get to the safe house, I’m gonna knock her out. Then I can get her in the wagon and out of the capital.
    Forgive me, Tia. You'll feel happy after. Because I'm the only one who cares, loves, and looks at you. You wanted to get out of your shadows, too. If you live in hiding with me, you don't have to face shadows or struggle to escape the darkness. You’ll be free from your heavy status as the Prince's fiancée, and from the pressure of becoming the heir of your family. You can simply lead a normal life.
    So come with me, my lady.

    "Allen, I don't think it’s the way home."
    When I saw the golden eyes staring at me with innocence and trust, the dark madness subsided. My head cleared and my heart sank. Even though I had decided to protect her, I was overwhelmed and tried to hurt her again.
    I'm sorry, Tia. I must have been out of my mind. What shall I do, my lady? I think I'm going crazy.

    [Volume 2 - Chapter 60 of the novel]
    Allen’s POV 6/6


    [The following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    "You'll be gone in three days. Are you ready?"
    "Yes, Your Majesty."
    "Is that so?"
    "…"
    "When I look at you Sir Allendis, somehow I remember the youth I was."
    I haven't visited my lady since we saw the town festival together. Tia didn't come to see me either.
    "I miss her," said the Emperor, who looked at me with a longing expression.
    "It was my first time feeling that way. I thought I could throw away the Emperor's seat and all I cared about in order to get her."
    "Did you?"
    "No, I let her go."
    "Why... are you not supposed to be the one who's got everything?"
    "There was another man who threw everything away for her and loved her. She loved him, too. I thought I'd take her away, but I let her go." His Majesty said with a wry smile.
    I looked silently at the King, as if I was seeing him for the first time. I had never met him alone except for the day when I arranged a secret meeting with him. I could see why my cold-hearted father, the Duke of Ras, and the blunt Duke of Monique were loyal to him. How many rulers could have such a deep understanding of the inner thoughts of their officials?
    "Sir Allendis."
    "Yes, Your Majesty."
    "Don't be rash. Listen. The love that had burnt me, and the pain of letting her go… they both dulled over time. I thought I'd die if I didn't get her love, but I've managed to survive."
    "…"
    "As time goes by, you'll have a day when you can move forward. I don't want to lose a man like you because of this. Do you understand?"
    "...Your Majesty."
    "You can blame my selfishness. I knew what you were feeling as I watched you deal with this. You are a necessary talent for the Empire. So be sure to come back when you're done with my punishment for you. If not right away, won't you make an agreement with me that you'll come back someday?"
    Did Your Majesty already know?
    The blue eyes looking at me somehow choked me. Who had ever cared that much about me except my lady ?
    Had I met His Majesty sooner, my life would have been different.
    His Majesty, who had long looked at me hesitate, sighed and said, "Go away."
    I was so sorry. I couldn't agree to his offer because I had already given up my whole body and mind to Tia.


    ***
    [The following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    "...Allen."
    Two days before the mission's departure, I was unexpectedly visited by Tia.
    I thought I'd never see you again. Did you come to see me for the last time, my lady?
    Please don't be sad when I’m away, Tia. You look cold on the outside, but you're soft on the inside. I'm sure you've been very sad since I confessed my feelings the other day. You must have been in a lot of pain. But don't do that anymore. It's more painful for me to see you in pain. You don't have to grieve for me who will betray your faith.

    "I heard you're leaving for the mission."
    "Yes."
    I tried to laugh casually, but I didn't think I controlled my face properly when I saw the golden eyes swaying uneasily. Anyway, that wasn’t the first time I was lying to you, so it didn’t matter.
    "Tia. Don't get sick without me."
    "…"
    "Even though you've improved a lot lately, you never were very healthy. Don't starve because you're stressed out. If you fall down, your whole house will turn upside down.”
    "...Allen."
    Tia's expression subsided. But I went on and on. I still had a mountain of stories to tell.
    "Be especially careful not to catch a cold on a rainy day. You're a Knight now, so you'll just get soaked in the rain."
    "Allen. "
    "When winter comes put on warm clothes, ok ?"
    "Allen!"
    Her golden eyes were filled with tears.
    "Come on, Allen, you’re only going away for a mission, but you act like a man who won't come back. You'll be back when the mission's over, right? Huh? Allen."
    "...Tia."
    "Yes."
    "If I were to ask you to accept my feelings now… would you accept them?"
    I smiled bitterly at her silence, and turned away in agony as I saw her guilty face. I was packing a small medicine bottle in my luggage when I heard her thin voice.
    "I won't apologise anymore."
    "…"
    "But Allen, just let me tell you this. Even if I don't feel the same way as you, I still think that you and my father are the most precious person to me."
    [In the manhwa, Tia doesn’t say this to Allen’s face, but she thinks it as she cries on her father’s lap in chapter 102.]
    "...Tia."
    Then Tia gives Allen a small green box with a green ribbon on it (@irocks : seriously, did it have to be greeny ?! @Edoez : lol ^^). When Allendis opens it, it’s full of colored ribbons.
    "It's..."
    "I was wondering if there was anything I could give you before you go on your journey. You always tie your hair, so I thought you might need some ribbons."
    I unconsciously reached out to her. The moment I tried to pull her little soft body into my arms, sharp reason stopped me.
    You can't get any closer. If you do this, you'll both have a harder time parting.

    Allen quickly withdraw his hands. And he looks more closely at the ribbon he has in his hand, and it’s the ribbon he had given to Tia, the one he wanted to kill her with. She has embroidered his name on it. A sudden burst of emotion hits him and he chokes.
    He wants to tell Tia the truth, about everything ; the darkness and the madness that are boiling inside him, the deathly coalition that is after her, the days when he tried to destroy her after he joined the traitors. And even the day he tried to kill her. Because Tia has the right to know the truth. Allen is afraid she would look at him in horror, but he thinks he should tell her the truth.
    But the words don’t come out. Everything is stuck at the tip of his tongue, and he swallows it. He can’t bring himself to be hated by Tia who still looks at him with so much trust. He wants to remain warm and friendly to her, even if everyone else will remember him as madman and a traitor.
    Please forgive me Tia. Forgive me for deceiving you to the end because of my selfishness.

    ***
    [This following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    On the day of Allen’s departure, Carsein comes to see Allen off and they started their usual bickering.
    "I heard you were following the delegation. I also heard you sent your resignation" says Carsein.
    "Yes."
    Then Allendis throws his sword at Carsein, who gets a fright but manages to snatch it.
    "What is it, Weed? Are you asking for a duel?!" shouts Carsein.
    "Take it."
    "What?"
    "I don't think I’ll need it anymore."
    "You son of a b*tch…"
    With a distorted look on his face, Carsein strides and grabs Allen by the collar.
    "Let go of me, while I’m being nice."
    "Weed… if you're not coming back because you’ve been rejected, I’ll kill you."
    "You're still as stupid as before, Carrot. If I give up on my life, how can you kill me ? A man can only die once."
    "Shut up, even if you're a crazy f*cker, I've acknowledged you as my rival. If you give up like this, I will never forgive you. Do you understand? Come back so that we can compete fair and square."
    Carsein’s blue eyes are blazing. Allen pulls himself out of Carsein’s grip. Then he fixes his crumpled clothes and turns away.
    "Be careful. She looks tough on the outside, but she has a soft heart" says Allen.
    Goodbye, Carrot. I thought I had nothing but annoyance for you, but now I think it was a bit of pleasure. Take good care of Tia for me. Don't cry like me, please cherish her. Our tender-hearted, silver lady.

    ***
    [This following scene is not mentioned in the manhwa.]
    "I've given you a lot of trouble, Sir Verita."
    "Never mind, Lord Ras. I hope you return safely."
    "Are you sure you're not going back with us, Sir Verita?"
    "Yes, my lord. I'm going to look at the world a little bit more. If anyone asks about me, please tell let them know."
    The kingdom of Lua had a very different air and sceneries from the Empire, and unfamiliar surroundings. There I worked as hard as I could. It wasn't very intense because I was in charge of negotiations between allies. It was mostly about gathering information to make greater gains in a friendly atmosphere. I enjoyed working for the first time. Not to get a title, not to destroy or plot against someone, but to contribute to something great using my abilities.
    I watched as the Princess and Lord Ras nurtured their love day after day, and when they got married.
    And finally the day came when we had to return to the Empire. Since I had decided I would never go back when I left the Empire, I flatly refused their offer to return together.
    I said goodbye and when everyone had left I climbed up a mountain and stood on a cliff. The empire's territory was dimly visible in the distance. Somewhere over there, my little girl was alive and breathing.
    How are you, Tia? I miss you, my dear girl.
    I searched through the piles of luggage I had brought away from the Empire. I saw a small medicine bottle hidden in the corner. The drug made people forget everything and allowed them to be happy if they drank it. But I dared not take it because I feared it would be a nuisance to the mission. I threw the bottle down the cliff. I won't need it anymore. Just a few steps forward and everything would be over. [So Allen is about to commit suicide, just like in the play he watched with Tia on the day he confessed.]
    I suddenly remembered Tia’s face, how she cried as I refused to promise to come back. I also remembered the image of the kitten Tia, clinging to me. My lady had named her Luna. The moon.
    Allendis slowly walks toward the edge of the cliff. Suddenly the strong gust of wind opens the green box Tia gave to him. The ribbons scatter and fly away and Allendis catches one. It’s the green ribbon, the same one he gave to her before, the very same one he tried to strangle her slender neck with. It’s torn and Allen can see the Dela flowers he has made embroidered inside.
    What's going on here? This is what I gave to Tia.
    Don't tell me you embroidered my hairband, Tia ? I gave you a pair, so that one day we might have a matching ribbon. And you took one of them and embroidered my initials on it and gave it back to me?
    Allen laughs.
    I'm sure you didn't know the meaning of this hair tie or why I gave you a pair. There’s a legend that tells that if you carve your lover’s name with Dela flowers, the two of you will be together for all eternity.
    Even if you don't accept my love, my wish seems to have been granted. I'll take it as a sign that I can keep loving you.
    Thank you, Tia. You say you want to shake off the shadows, but you allowed this vile shadow to keep chasing after you. Thank you very much, my lady. Because you didn't deny the shadow. This shadow who tried to give up on living because it was abandoned by its owner. I'm happy that I can keep chasing my owner.
    Now I think I can answer your last question, Tia.
    Yes, I'll come back one day when I get out of the darkness trying to devour me. I promise, I'll come back to you one day. I will surely return when the shadow chasing the Moon does not dare to think of swallowing the Moon.
    So you've got to be fine until we meet again, my lady. My moonlight, my love, my radiant beauty. May you be happy until the day we meet again.


    [End of Allen’s POV & End of Volume 2.]
     
  8. Jamjam

    Jamjam Member

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    Thank u for this Allen's Pov.. Its beautiful and also it also makes me cry.. I also want to know more about what will happen to them in the future..
     
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  9. Bhabna

    Bhabna Well-Known Member

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    The one thing that makes this novel different is how flawed and real the characters are both in the first and second timeline. Some deserved a second chance and some didn't. But you can't help but feel all sorts of emotions for them like Tia along with her psychological shadows, Ruve, and Carsein and even Jieun. None of them are OP yet they still deserve a chance I think. :)
     
  10. nuttyreader

    nuttyreader Well-Known Member

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    yes, every character deserves a chance depending :cool:....
    Dang, this can go on and on. It goes into writing, perspectives, feelings, and style of the story which are changed on the readers feelings, thoughts, ideas, time of day.... etc.

    Why are humans such beasts of emotions.....

    OK, fine.... I give and will read. I am willing to give this a shot.
    I just do not like seeing people tortured. I am not a fan of horror. PTSD is true horror and when the creator of that horror gets benefits, my blood boils. That’s why I’m so anti to the ending. That does not mean I don’t understand how it can get that way. It just means that I stay away.
    I’m currently reading another story that is funny so once I finish that and this, I’ll be back.
    I read too much....thank goodness for smart phones. Read while waking, read while eating, read while shopping, read while trying to sleep, read while playing games, read while listening to music, read while.... yup, too much.
     
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  11. Bhabna

    Bhabna Well-Known Member

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    Me too. Even I am not into that. Neither was I a fan of Ruve nor was I highly appreciative of the pairing because I simply couldn't understand the logic for the pairing. But after going through the spoilers I assume their circumstances and their approach played a great role how they both ended up. I am not the fan of 1st timeline Ruve but I am definitely looking forward to how the 2nd timeline Ruve proves himself for his lady love
     
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  12. Eodez

    Eodez Well-Known Member

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    Just so you know, if you're worried about manipulation, cruelty, abuse, etc, don't worry there are none. The romance with Ruve is definitely the light, romantic, soothing and comforting part of the novel. The dark aspects focus on the political plot and the villain(s).
     
  13. shelldon

    shelldon Well-Known Member

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    Where you published fan fics? May i read it?
     
  14. nuttyreader

    nuttyreader Well-Known Member

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    Ok... problem. I can find Chinese web novels and Japanese web novels for MTL. I can even find Chinese, Korean, and even some Japanese manga/manwha to look at the pretty pictures. But I just cannot find the Korean web novels to MTL.
    The sad part, I can speak Korean but never learned to write. Arrrrggghhhh. I can barely understand it if I use text to speech.
    ㄷ - only letter that I remember from childhood. Of course, knowing myself... I probably am remembering it wrong. ..... I just realized.... I may have forgot how to write my name!??!??
    ........ ok never mind I remember. I think.

    So are web novels linked to kakao? Have to use some platform to read?
     
  15. BlueRoseJuliet

    BlueRoseJuliet Well-Known Member

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    I'm curious about what their married life will be like.
     
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  16. nuttyreader

    nuttyreader Well-Known Member

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    Ok, I was just looking through some novels and found this one from a while back.

    My fiancé is in love with my sister - talk about torturing the MC/FL. While refreshing my memories on the heart breaking story, I ran into this quote in the spoilers.

    Other novels where the MC/FL chooses the failure of a ML. I was surprised to find this novel mentioned.
    As I try to figure out how to access the Korean web novel, I thought I’d share this tidbit. This shows that other stories have this so people can dislike it but it’s not an issue per se and this is probably more mild compared to what I quoted.
    This reminds me of a Korean melodrama where the poor girl dies and the loving boyfriend/“brother” dies after - lost the will to live. A tragic ending. I understood that there was a strong backlash to the story and the drama company had to make a happy ending to their next drama.
    I wonder if Koreans web novel readers really hate this type of ending?

    Anyways, I’m not familiar with discord. I did set it up to check another translator but haven’t touch it since.
    How close is the manwha to the web novel? If I want to give this a chance, I would rather go through the original text compared to the manwha. There is always something lost in the translation.
    Also, I learned you can cross quote. Yay
     
  17. Btissam

    Btissam Active Member

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    Thanks .. I regret the time and energy and the feeling I put on it .. I hate that she end up with the Prince .. I'm so angry .. who would fall in love with someone who made u kneel down and kiss his shoes , to save the father who is already executed (this only one thing but all the stuff she suffered ) .. no matter what this a fu##ed up story ...
     
  18. LockedPuppet

    LockedPuppet From the void, the circus horns~

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    Does anyone know at what point of the story the manhwa is in? Also around what time do you think they'll start implementing the side stories?
     
  19. darkcrystal

    darkcrystal Well-Known Member

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    I had read these Allen's pov and seriously I felt heart throbbing for him it's true from the beginning I ship him with tia but he is a huge psycho but his love for her is soo true he had a lot of chances to kidnapped her killed her even force(physically abused) her judging from his pov's but every time he controlled himself because his love for her his more greater than his darkness I think he didn't realized it but being love with tia is already for him in light which already surpassed his darkness at least Allen is lot better than 1st life Ruve who even blackmailed and then ra*** her but Allen every time cares for her but still I think carrot boy is best candidate for fl.
     
  20. EmWeaCh

    EmWeaCh Member

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    Oh come on, can you please at least read the thread?
     
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