Forget the drama and live your life. If that's leaving a friend behind so be it. Perhaps they are worth it but that's your call to make. My view on it. We accrue so much shit and carry so much in our lives that we bring about ourselves, that we dont need others to start piling it all up in addition to ourselves.
@Hasr11 1. A shitty friend. But here's the thing, most of the time, people don't know if they're wrong unless you tell them. So if you want to resolve this, you need to talk to her what's bothering you and ask her what's bothering her about you. Unless you're fine with this misunderstanding going on forever. 2. He's definitely into you. With males, you must be clear. If you are not into him, tell him exactly that. If he helps you many times and gives you things and you want to feel less guilty for turning him down, try asking him "Are you being nice with me all this time because you like me and expecting me to reciprocate your feelings or you just genuinely being nice, not because you like me and doesn't expect anything back?" This is a trick question. If he says he did it because if he says he's just being nice, then he's not allowed to feel wronged if you didn't like him back because he simply wants to help. And if he says he likes you and he expect to be liked back after being nice to you, you can accuse him of being manipulative. This is all mind games
Drop the female friend. She sounds like a selfish bitch. Not understanding your financial situation and constantly bringing you down is low. Fuck her. The guy is into you, but sounds like an arrogant prick. Fuck him. Not literally... as in tell him to duck off. Also you sound like a female version of me... cept I don’t read bl.
Women are usually fake AF. Sorry, but most women I encounter act differently to different people while men usually don't try to fake things. Women don't behave by logic so why don't you try to hang out with different people, just to broaden your friend circle, just tell her the truth that you don't wanna burden your parents even more. Being honest really takes a load off your shoulders, well, I'm honest as fuck to people I associate with. I got nothing to hide except my porn gallery. Edit: The guy's onto you. If he's smart then maybe you can be upfront with him. But if he's the entitled kind of prick that most extroverted men are then get away. Men are perverts and these kind of men are even bigger perverts.
Whenever I watch TV shows and they have all kinds of drama that could be easily solved with some simple communication, it drives me crazy. So, in general I would say that IF you trust your friend to keep their mouth shut about your and your family's business, to let them know what's doing on, and that there's a reason you are avoiding spending money. If they can do stuff that doens't involve spending money, you might be able to keep hanging with them. That said, the way your friend is acting would make me not want to confide in her. She didn't come to you and talk, ask what's going on like a concerned friend should. Instead she goes with the cutting remarks. Not very promising. She's not being very supportive as a friend. As to whether or not you'll give her a chance and have that talk, that's up to your judgement. But if your friendship doesn't last, then try not to take it so hard. Everyone has different priorities in life, and it's okay to live your life by your priorities. As far as the dude goes, my advice is to be blunt. I'm not sure how you are handling the interactions with him, but when I was a younger and dumber guy (now I'm older and slightly less dumb), I didn't understand subtle hints. Especially when the girl would constantly say stuff like, "Yeah, we should hang out sometime." and then suddenly she's busy, only for the next time to say something similar. See, she said she wanted to hang out, so I just needed to keep trying. All the way up until I saw a ring on her finger. If she had just been open and told me she was serious about someone, I would have left her alone like that /snap. Lesson learned. Yeah, so be blunt. If you're not interested and don't want to get involved, straight up tell him that. (He might also be getting bad advice from friends to "go for it" so he won't get subtle hints.) If he still won't leave you alone after straight up telling him to, then it might be time to get some authorities involved in laying down boundaries for the dude, and make him aware that pestering you isn't appropriate. Good luck on your tests and whatnot. Hope you can get your life to where you want it to be.
i just want to note that she is most definately right about the whole "you should check up on her" thing if she's going home solo after a night out (unless you guys are like in a small town where everyone knows eachother). Also simply informing people that you cant afford it is a perfectly valid excuse not to go out to eat it might be the whole "worming out" that she's annoyed by
If they're hitting on you, just hit them back. Physically. Jokes aside, I've always lived my life making others know or feel like I don't need them. While pleasantries are always present and there's no enemies around, it does have the downside of not having that many close friends around. In fact, I only have 1 but I feel like social interactions online are good enough to sustain my social needs.
I’m an aspy so social interactions are not my thing. This whole thread has been quite interesting. My level of crazy is higher than most so anyone who couldn’t open their hearts and minds to that without explanation (because I’m not really able to explain) was left behind. It took me along time to understand that was for the best. As for the guy, if he is looking for something you are not, things won’t go well. I always just try to be honest ( or let my husband scare them off) both work. Good luck. It can be so hard to concentrate when theirs too much drama going around. I hope your tests turn out well.
Well, the outing ended in the afternoon and I did apologise (a lot) after the incident and said it wouldn’t happen again. maybe I’ll try talking to her about my situation, if I can catch her, that is
It looks like you've already made your mind to phase her out of your life. I don't know what memories you have and how close you used o be. I would try to hang onto my friend at first and if she's still a bitch, I'd drop her. So, I suggest a heart to heart conversation, where you explain your situation about uni, about going out and your family condition. It's nothing shameful, and if she still makes fun of you for it later, you can be certain she's no friend of yours. If after an honest talk, where you try to show her she's still important to you and you're hurt by her recent behavior, she doesn't change, then drop her and that's it. It really depends on whether you want to open yourself up and if you think she's worth that. So, up to you. As for the guy. If he gets pushy, sure, talk to him about it. Tell him you want to only think about uni and grades and have no time for anyone in your life. Hint to him he's being dramatic. Ignoring people doesn't really solve the problem, I wish it did lol. But don't especially spend time thinking about him and how to respond to his messages. If you have time, answer him you're busy and if you don't have the time, just don't respond. It's on him if he's too thick-skinned, since you've already told him your position. But man, some guys really can't handle rejection. It's like you owe them something. I dunno, I've straight up told a guy once that he was annoying me, and that kinda hurt his ego, so it might work. There's no one move you can make that can work on all guys.
Update: Told the guy off just now. He’s passing it off as a joke/a prank his friends asked him to do. It feels like he’s doing damage control, but if it’s true, good for me EDIT: Blocked him on social media to be safer
Look if you cant tell your friends some of your personal problems you dont really see them as friends. Ive been there and honestly just find better friends. My friends and I understand when we cant see each other and honestly tell each other if we dont have that free money weve been doing it since college freshman year. Age doesnt denote maturity and empathy. Im sure there are some girls in your school who'd understand what you're going through. Tell people you cant go since youre saving up when it comes to social gatherings that requires money. My friends and I treat each other if we really want to hang out together. If they dont do that dont be sad, chances are they'll take into consideration about ur financial sit and adjust so that the next hangout you can come. Dont just spend ur time studying make friends and have fun so you dont burn out just because ur financial sit isnt looking well doesnt mean you should sacrifice and focus singlemindedly on studying. As for the boy, tell him his attittude creeps you out and he's overstepping the boundaries. If he persists drop him and find a better friend Most of all, as an adult let me tell you, there are multiple ways of hanging out with friends without spending money, go to the lib and study together or chat in there, have hang out sesh in each other's homes or at a park. You're still a kid even if you're in hs, college isn't that much of diff ballpark from hs so chill and dont worry too much. Apply for full scholarships either funded by the city or the university you wanna get into.
I don't use reddit, but this is straight outta r/niceguys and was pretty predictable from the first text you showed us He's just making excuses.
Have fun with that But I just realised you said you were still in school . Here in England we only use the word freshman for university, so that's what I assumed you meant. Maybe that is what you meant? I'm not sure But if you are still in school, I wouldn't be too hard on him. He won't have had much experience or knowledge in this kind of thing and still has time to improve. I'm not saying you should be friends with him by any stretch of the imagination, but try not to make fun of him to all your friends and ruin his social life
Ok as someone thats lived life Ill say: Tell her about your situation but if shes a dick face kiss her and tell her you cant be friends anymore Tell that dude to fuck off cause you dont like him like that Kiss her and if she reacts back negatively tell her you were holding in feelings for her secretly and that you dont wanna ruin your friendship further and cut her off Kiss her and if she reacts positively tell her you wanna date but let her know abot your situation too so she can know that there will be boundaries ( GIRLFRIEND GET!!!)
Considering you are a freshman, there's a lot of changes going on and you seem to be overwhelmed with your social life and finance. Your friend is probably annoyed with you because you are too busy handling other matters and in results, neglecting her. She is too naive to understand that you have other responsibility and priorities and she's just selfish. Probably your friend is caught up in that faze where she just wants fun and superficial things, or she feels insecure about herself and resulted in lashing out at you and bringing you down with her, idk. I feel like you should have a talk with her or at least figure out if she's sincere with your friendship. My impression of your friend is quite negative, she sounds very childish and petty but it also seems like she just wanted to rely on you and be your companion unfortunately you sort of failed her expectations since you have other things in mind. It's really up to you if you could tolerate her shortcomings. I personally think both of you are inconsiderate of each other's situation and aren't communicating well enough for some sort of closure. On a different note I do think you should take caution in confronting your situation before the finals, it could possibly end with you feeling even more stressed out or release a load off your shoulders. Ignore that boy or straight up reject him cause you don't have time for that I hope you do well in your finals!