I'm looking for the name of a transmigration novel. DO tell me if I am mixing up 2 or more diff novels. MC transmigrates as a baby, feels guilty and sees himself as a place holder kid for his parents. So he isolates himself and is very quiet as a baby. But he ends up shouting 'Madre' (cursing F*ck=Marde??) which also happens to be the name of a stable boy who is promoted to be his personal attendent. He does not have skills to be a warrior like his father (who is a general/admiral etc) and not enough magic control like his mother (water/radiant mage??). Drives away teachers when he asks very deep questions and ends up being known as a useless idiot. But to rectify his guilt for his new parents he teaches his toddler younger brother stuff everyday at night (as a kid).