When you are being modest, that's considered you being humble and is often looked at in a good way. But when you are not really being modest but truly think like that deep down as well, does it border on being obnoxious and cocky? I've been in that situation recently and everybody was saying I was just being humble but I felt like I was actually being cocky and pretentious with it. Beware: I am kinda bragging a bit here...being a professional musician is basically the only thing I can brag about in my life so forgive me. I'm a classical violinist, I have learned it professionally and I'm a part of an orchestra, but we have a guitar at home too so I know how to pluck a few chords. (The guitar belongs to my brother...probably?...he never took classes for it for long, it was just laying there at a relative's home so he brought it back to learn it through the internet and play in front of girls. And being the "professional" musician I am who knows all his music theory, I ended up learning it faster than him regardless of the very minimal amount of time I spent on it.) So, having learnt an instrument professionally already, I never considered myself a guitarist, cause if someone who learnt the equivalent of how much I learned the guitar on the violin...I'd beat them up if they dared call themselves a violinist with just that much. So aren't I just being cocky when I'm saying "I don't play the guitar" and "I'm not a guitarist" but when they hand me the guitar I start singing and playing Can't Help Falling in Love, Yesterday, Blackbird, I Want to Hold Your Hand perfectly. (I'm a classical musician so I'm VERY picky with my music. So even among modern music, all I ever like are the old ones like Beatles and stuff.) They're literally the easiest pieces on the guitar. I'm only plucking strings and strumming while holding some easy chords. I'd be embarrassed if they called me a guitarist in front of a real guitarist with just that much. So anyway, I feel like I'm the cocky one who's thinking of himself so highly as a musician that I don't even consider that meager skill level as something that could make you call yourself a guitarist. While they're thinking I'm being humble and modest cause I was saying I can't play it very well..."NO! This much is literally nothing to me compared to what I can do on the violin!!" That's my true thoughts. Isn't that a bit...obnoxious? Like, I feel like my way of thinking is actually me making myself feel superior in a way. Isn't that basically what modesty is? When someone does something really good but says that it's nothing...aren't they basically bragging by saying that much is nothing to them? It's like saying they didn't even break a sweat. Why is that looked upon in a good way!? Like, how is THAT being humble?
Personally, I think that's just realism of a person who actually demands some skill to match the heights they are looking at. It's other people who have too low demands for capability, since the world (at least for Westerners) is on easy mode. Similarly, I'm crap at martial arts, simply because I don't put in the effort, but since I've looked a little into it, I believe I have some actual requirements for being a practitioner. What I mean is that even if I did practice it solo for years, I'd feel ill about calling myself a martial artist, because to me martial arts requires ability and practice in real combat against other martial artists... and the ability to win at least sometimes. To me, its core is not a solo sport where you become a super black belt by beating dead trees and bricks, and lifting like a little bitch. Similarly, I feel that you see the theory and the art beyond the music, and feel that compared to those qualifications, you've a long way ahead of you wrt. guitar... whereas normal music consumers are just happy if it doesn't sound like a dead cat and somehow resembles the song. Addendum: So basically what I'm getting at is that humility and modesty is the opinion of others, and thus ultimately their problem. You live your own life against your own values and quality standards... heck, even if normal people would feel like you play violin bad enough that dead come alive and cats come mate with you, in my opinion it shouldn't matter as long as you're playing well against your own standards. Of course, if music is horrifying for everyone to listen to, I'm not sure if something has fundamentally gone awry in its practice, since it may be one kind of a "reality check" that helps you reflect your practice and theory against the real world... but just as an example.
It’s all about subtle. You don’t blatantly say “see how good I am”. When your good, your really good and your action prove it. So being good at something, but not highlighting it. Makes you humble. As to your feelings of being obnoxious. I don’t see it that way. You should be proud of what you accomplished. Also it took a lot of hard work to get we’re you are now. As a by product you become confident. It’s a hard edge to follow. To much of one thing or another can lead you to fall into people misunderstanding you and thinking your obnoxious, but all you can really do is the best you can. No ones perfect. Just continue as you we’re and people will see the real you. The thing you should know is that, don’t lead your life under another person’s opinion. Live for yourself and let history decide what it will.
It just so happens when you were studying and practicing your main instrument and also grasping a little bit of music theory that you can play other instrument at least the basic stuffs, also yes if i were ya i guess i will be cocky lol.
Well i always boast that i can sleep for 17 hours straight and stay in the bed for 24hr(exluding going to bathroom or getting some provision) without getting bored and everybody just give me this "wtf are this slob doing with his life" looks in their eyes
Depending on who you are talking to, some will say you are humble and some will say that you are bragging/full of yourrself(cocky)/etc... In your place I would say that I am a "guitar dabbler" and when someone asks you what that means you can explain
You can play the guitar, the fact you can bring out an easy song is by itself fine, but yes you can play it. But if your thinking along the lines of being a 'guitarist' that comes by your own standards of what you believe a musician is. Like you said, your standard on the violin is so much higher, and you really only 'dabble' with the guitar. These days fewer and fewer people especially in the west are willing to invest their time into playing instruments and various other analog entertainment sources. Depending on the people around you, some will think your being humble, others your being cocky. The ones who think your humble, are ones who respect you can play, ones who think your cocky are those who are unwilling to put in the effort to learn, and are envious. Just be you.
Haha, yea. I always think I should keep it short...but then it ends up being long so I plan on cutting it down...but then I can't find anything I wanna leave out so I just be like "if they don't wanna read it they really don't really have to" so I post it anyway. lol
Wait, wouldn't that be the opposite? Like, shouldn't the people who thinks I'm being cocky be the ones who actually know how to play? As I've in a way said, if someone with violin skills equivalent to my guitar skills called themselves a violinist I'd be angry. Like, it literally didn't even take me an hour to learn those chords. I bet it would take a lot longer for someone to learn a single scale on the violin and I'd still refuse to call them violinists (cause I've taught people how to play scales and they're sure as hell not violinists).
I don't think they would. The reason why you wouldn't say you're a guitarist is because you have high standards when it comes to music. Similarly, people who actually know how to play will have higher standards musically as well because of the time and effort they put into raising the standard of their own playing. So in a way they might be more likely to understand - from high standard person to high standard person xD. However, it might come off as depreciating when someone's like "oh this much is nothing", particularly to the people that are at that level (even more so if they're proud of it and you're just like "psh! get on my level" XD) or to people that enjoy the stuff at that level. If you word and say it nicely though, like "haha thank you. I'm much better at the violin though" (in a nice tone of voice, not condescending or whatever xD), it shouldn't come across as cocky. If it does to some people, I'd say they're the ones with the problem lol
Well, basically every other musician I've met outside of my orchestra seem to be able to play the guitar to that extent. And they're all similar to me, like, saying they can play a few songs and such, not making themselves out to be guitarists though. It's the people who play only guitar but only to that little extent and makes themselves out to be guitarists even though their skills are only to that level are the ones who are usually bragging about being guitarists. While the people who were actual musicians and could only play a bit of guitar seemed like they actually didn't want to be seen by other people playing the guitar. lol I kinda understand it though, it does feel super sloppy to play easy songs...it keeps you on the edge thinking people will find out how you're just doing easy stuff. Like, you feel paranoid that they're expecting something amazing of you and you yourself don't find what you're doing to be amazing cause it's too easy...and you feel that it's really easy to see that what you're playing is super easy. You also don't want other people to get the wrong idea and think of you as a guitarist. Like, if you're good at an instrument and proud of playing it well, you want to sell yourself as a player of that instrument. If people see you playing a guitar and later starts thinking you're a guitarist and that word spreads...oh I really don't want that. Anyway, I've never belittled anyone on their playing. I just keep them in my head. lol No, really though, it's only when people are bragging about it that I start snorting at them. Sometimes I get pissed at the audience too. Like, the person who just sang has such an amazing voice but the girls are all fawning over him being able to play the guitar. Like, fuck off! Did you even hear his voice!? That shit was amazing!!
Oh but the complete opposite is true too. A person who can just play a few chords and a person who is a world class musician, to normal people they are both basically the same. You don't even know how painful it is to be someone who understands the musician's awesomeness among people who don't. Like, Lang Lang's piano performances. He's a showy and flamboyant piano player and the whole crowd cheers when he does something that looks cool...but they never cheer or understand when he's pulling of the most amazing and subtlest of moves while playing. Like, people are not even aware how amazing what he just did was, to them he was just playing the piano really fast or something. Everybody basically sees musicians as either bad, good, or really fast. That's the problem. No matter how good, to everyone else as long as someone sounds good they're on the same level. The next level is only when you're playing really fast. Doesn't matter if you're slurring the notes or if you're perfectly nailing the dynamics, you're both same to them. People will think something like Flight of the Bumblebee is harder than Bach's Chaconne cause one is fast and the other one is slow. But no!! Chaconne is one of the hardest pieces on the violin and I still can't properly play it after so many years! While I completely learned Flight of the Bumblebee after just 2 or 3 years of picking up the violin.
You always got to remember that most people are not musicians, they have no idea what makes one different between an amateur and a professional. As long as you can roughly finish a song without making any major problems with it your average person will think you are skilled. They look for the sparkle and ignore the sweat and tears put into it. Its why things like dancing gets looked over often, because its hard for an amateur to appreciate it the way a professional would.
Yea, I know. There are lots of things I enjoy that I don't fully understand either. But I still can't help but get pissed when people are not realizing how much they're missing out on something that's right in front of them.
Aren't you overreading this? You already answered your own question. Your "humbleness" or "bragginess" is based on musician standards. And it's fine to have standards as long as you aren't a dick about it. The bar is rightfully high for you (and other musicians), so it's fine to think nothing of your guitar skills. Jimi Hendrix will probably think you're crap, and he'd be right. So would YoYo Ma or Rostropovich if you tried to pick up the cello. At best they'd think you're so-so for a newb. I can't taste alcohol for shit, or tell the difference between a $10 bottle or $300 bottle of wine no matter how many wine tasting classes I go to. My friends who are wine/liquor connoisseurs think I'm a dumbass (much like your experience with amateurs who can't understand music), but they aren't griefers about it so that's perfectly acceptable to me. This is the closest visual example I could find.