I do...actually i think i gave her too much attention to the point that she though im being overprotective. And because she know that much, she isn't afraid to do those things, afterall based on what happen in the past,i will simply just go back to her begging to be loved again...
Well, in the first place you didn't even say anything good about her so it's hard to even understand why you're in a relationship. I personally think that if you fight EVERY night, it's not a "typical relationship". What I can infer at some point is that this girl might be trying to get on your nerves by doing these things you don't approve and testing your patience which I personally find very upsetting and disturbing. You can try to confront her about it instead of just telling her to stop. Like, "Is there something that drives you to go out every night to drink?" "Can you tell me if you have any problems that make you want to vent out?" Say it in a way that doesn't sound judgmental and try to figure it out if there's an emotional void or something that she finds it lacking in your relationship if you really want to make it work out. You have to make her understand that you're aware that you don't know every single answer and can't tell what's on her mind if you're not communicating properly. Just saying things will end up badly for her can be very frustrating. If she's really just trying to make you break up with her, I think she's pitiful since from what I observed, people like that will always end up blaming themselves in the end. At least have the guts to say you don't care about the other person anymore.
Nyahaha i already said that im blunt and an honest person. Ofcourse i always said that i didn't have the superpowers to read her mind. Sometimes i do actually get too blunt that even i, think that its being too much. And i would be the one apologizing in the end
She seems to be telling you to do so, so you should just do it. It sounds to me like she's literally waiting for you to break up with her.
I dont think its good to let orher people decide what you should do with your relationship and you should not threating her because youre anxious its only gets worse like that. So my advise wich is my opinion how i would do it. Talk to with her about your worries about your feelings try to ask about her feelings too there are two people in your relationship her opinion, worries and feelings are as important as yours and when all is said and done then you can decide together if theres hope or not. Even if you break up then its at least a clean one.
That's why im so confused right now, she always tell me that she loves me, but she also say that i should just break up with her. Maybe im being too dilusional but i do get this feeling that she's simply blaming herself and drowning herself to guilt and self loathing , she's lowering her self just to make herself look bad and tells me that i should find a better girl than her...
My dear boy, let me be upfront you. I don't know her, but I know you to a certain extent. All I can say is, those are fucking red flags everywhere. Red flags everywhere, boy! Ultimately it's your choice in the matter, but I positively believe that you're being cuckolded or soon to be cuckolded. On the off chance I'm so fucking wrong, I can't apologize enough or won't, since it doesn't make a difference by that point of time; but excluding the potential or already affair with someone else. You already provided enough points to why you should break up with her. Those blatant drinking sessions with her guy friends every or most nights instead with you? RED She literally spitted the fact she would fuck her ex (and likely his buddies too) in front of your face! RED Should we assume your telling the truth in this setting, then she isn't worth your love if she doesn't liven up from her side or even attempt to raise your relationship to a more intimate level. RED She's a former illegal drug (addicted?) user. RED Okay, the first two points are very likely related to her ex, but the third point is an extreme sign of her waiting for you to break up. There's been signs of it, yes? The last point is a whole different matter, and is a slippery slope for both of you. Thus, as a fellow cultist and sinner, break up with her.
Yup, honestly that hurt like shit. But its just a chance, a possibility to be exact so i don't really have the right to get that mad if it didn't happen... Yet.
She is waiting for you to break up because she doesn't want to take responsibility, then use that as an excuse to play the victim. Dude she's banging her ex.
This sounds similar to what happened to my bf and his ex. Ex is always out at night with her friends and she never bothers to tell him when she will go home. My bf also told me his ex refused him many times for him to get her home after meeting/drinking with the friends and this lead to many fights. Until one day he just saw her take off with another man. Weeds were never in the picture though. I would vote for you to break up with her.
From the way you're wording your sentences, it seems to me that you're giving mostly everything and receiving near to nothing. However, I'm only hearing things from your side, so I cannot be a good judge of things. In my opinion, if she thinks she isn't enough, she probably isn't. In the first place, when you're in a relationship, it's one thing to put yourself down, and it's a totally different thing to not do anything about that feeling. If she thinks she isn't enough, and she isn't doing a single thing to help her improve herself, then she, is probably not enough. Same goes for guys. Here's a few questions you should answer before proceeding: What is it about this relationship that makes you so attached? Is it just the idea of "being in a relationship with her" that is keeping you tied down? Is she different from what you thought she was before you guys started dating? Do you still like her as you did before? As for the drinking situation, did you make clear to her that you felt extremely uncomfortable with her doing this? If you did, what was her response? Does she not care about your feelings? (Red flag btw) If she isn't willing to let you mingle with her friends, she's probably not treating this relationship seriously. If you're going to proceed further (as in marriage and the future), it's good to acquaint yourself with your partner's friends, in any case. The weed part, I'm not so sure. My advice is to stay away from that kind of stuff, but if you're willing to tolerate, it's really none of my business. Just be aware of the risks your partner (and in extent, you) are facing.
You see, the way you say it makes a lot of difference. I just told you to be kinder (If you REALLY wish to continue this relationship). If you simply say "I don't have the superpowers to read your mind." and then nothing else you might sound like the other party is the one lacking. It looks like nobody without superpowers will ever understand them. Like they'll never be capable of expressing their true feelings. And usually what a person wants in a relationship is to have someone to trust and be able to open up their hearts. If you don't understand your partner enough to know if that will upset them, then don't use that kind of expression. I don't believe "I'm blunt" is an excuse for lack of empathy. It sounds like you lack sincerity. Anyway, I'll take my leave and wish you good luck on your romantic endeavours~
1. Because i love her? 2. Bullshit,i wouldn't be that desperate to use someone just to be "in a relationship" im inside a relationship because of my feelings not because of the status of being in a relationship... 3. I do expect her to be a bit rebellious and wild , i accept it but this is too much don't you think so? 4. I wouldn't really be this confused if i didnt like her in the first place though.
Your relationship with each other in my opinion is incompatible, even if you say she's your girlfriend but does she act like one? She's been hanging out with "male friends" drinking alcoholic beverages in an unknown place. Not even letting you go with her shows signs that she doesn't want you to know what is happening behind curtains. And using a BANNED/ILLEGAL substance is already a serious crime and will have a huge impact on your public image and livelihood and telling you to break up with her if you are not able to put up with her. But, you should break up with her. It's a bad kind of relationship if one of them is stubborn in their ways. You're a good man based on your description of your self and if you cannot change her for the better and align her to the right path, she's not the one for you.
Im not that heartless you now. I do always explain to her that i want a direct and honest relationship, i explained that saying things opposite to what she really meant is confusing and unfair for me, sorry if i dont have a mind reading superpower...
It might be all red herring from her side, but its not wrong to stay guarded for whatever shit is going to explode the next day or later. I'll give you my Sherlock-view in our conversation. Please accept it, since it won't hurt to read what I'll tell you about this whole mess. It's my duty, I like to believe, as fellow cultists and the cult founder in the forum. Unhinged I may be, I'm still anti-evil to the core.
If you're both unhappy, why keep carrying on? Its like that song 'slow dancing in the burning room'. Take a break and try to think with a rational not emotion driven mind. When talking doesn't work, what is the next step. Trust is hard to earned and easy to lose. I know two cases where the girl keep saying 'he's just a friend' for quite some time, one ended up pregnant with the 'just a friend' kid, the other ask for a breakup when got proposed to and ended up marrying the 'just a friend' few years later.
as @Momoyuki said, the specifics make a lot of difference, like how you word things and what tone you use. E.g. if you say "this is unfair to me", it may come across as you blaming the other person and this is oftentimes counterproductive because then they automatically enter defence mode without actually taking in what you said. On the other hand, if you say sth like "this feels unfair to me" in a non blaming tone, it comes across as less of an attack on her. Communication is key. Maybe you're acting in a way that shows your affection for her but if you can't communicate properly, it won't work out well. Of course, I dunno what your communication style is like. I just wanted to make a remark on it. Btw is it just me or are you interpretating the comments of the other nuffians as more hostile than they were meant? Like @VeraH's comment with the questions... but well, I'm not sure ^^'