Spoiler: Original A former coworker and friend of mine pasted away recent and I'm invited to his memorial at the cemetery. Since he's a muslim while I'm not, I'm not sure what is the etiquette is for such an occasion. At first I was thinking of getting some white flowers but online source said it's no appropriate. In other word I don't know what to do. Any suggestion or advise would be appriciated. Thank-you. Was just told that reglious stuff isn't allow here. Sorry I didn't know that and thank-you everyone that replied. I don't know how to delete this thread so I just put the original message in spoiler tag.
Don’t wear revealing clothes, don’t bring any sweets or flowers, console the deceased’s family and that’s the main part. (You meant Muslim probably) And last of all I think you should arrive after the funeral prayer or wait outside the Masjid/Mosque
It depends on how close you were and how religious the family is. I don't think they are very conservative since they wouldn't have invited you. I was in one. I wore a black suit with a black tie, stuff you would wear to a christian funeral, there were some with brown suits or even less strict, but that's usually the privelege of the elderly and children. As far as I know there are no gifts and there was a lot of food and everyone ate a lot. There was a prayer and after the burial we went to their home again and ate something. My memory is very blurry since it was a long time ago, but I think if you really want to gift something you can buy some traditional sweets (sweets and not normal food) from their country. Though I think it would be for the best to just ask them in person.
Just wear casual clothes and goto to them and hug them or handshake and say everything is in oder of God. We say it in Arabic because we are Muslims but you can say just in English that's all Edit:- you can ask how he died even if you know because it's tradition for Muslim and Hindus. In my country anyway
Why not, y'know, ask his family? At the end of the day, they're the final authority on how you should attend the funeral, regardless of the standard practices of their religion. ... Or someone else who's going, if you don't want to bother them.
It's a memorial, right? Not the funeral. In that case, you don't have to do anything. Just wear appropriate (not too colourful) clothing that covers the bits that should be covered. If you're a man, wear a shirt and long pants. If you're a woman, wear non-sexy clothes and if you want, wear a loose shawl around your head (does not need to be a hijab). Don't bring flowers, there won't be any place for you to put it. Just go there, tell them you're sorry for his passing, ask them if they're OK and ask them if there's anything you can do. Most of the time, they won't ask you to do anything and just thank you for coming. Muslim deaths generally carry the theme of wishing the dead's acceptance by god. So it is neither festive nor mournful. While you will probably see people shedding a tear, crying aloud is frowned upon.
Hmmmm I went to visit my childhood friend’s grave recently. Was not around for the funeral. Went with her dad to the grave... Cleaned and wiped her headstone. Poured some rose petals all over her grave and some of the nearby ones.... It wasn’t a memorial service or anything but this is what you do when you visit a Muslim grave from time to time(?). Rose petals seems to be important....
I think that's depend on where you're from. Muslim in each country has different tradition. Just wear appropiate clothes is enough. I think that's not for all muslim. Some muslim in middle east may think that's Rose petals are not needed instead frown upon
There is this Hadith once when the Prophet(S.A.W) put date palm tree leaves on a grave so it could decrease the intensity of the torture/punishment due to him/deceased doing a major/big sin
That's up to the family, though. Since he's not even muslim, he should not decide on his own what to do. It could offend someone. While that hadith is considered saheeh, one must understand the reason for doing it. The moment you assume the deceased is a sinner and is being tortured in his grave, such act becomes discouraged. Basically, don't do it if you're passing judgement that the deceased is being tortured.