Would you hit your children as a disciplinary measure?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Little Potato, Feb 7, 2020.

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Would you ever hit your children?

  1. Yes. I grew up in the same way and nothing turned wrong with me.

    54.2%
  2. Yes. Although I didn't grow up being hit, I think it's an effective disciplinary measure.

    10.2%
  3. No. I grew up being hit and I think there are better ways to discipline children.

    20.3%
  4. No. I didn't grow up being hit and I don't think hitting them would be a good disciplinary measure

    15.3%
  1. Deleted member 155674

    Deleted member 155674 Guest

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  2. teargrants

    teargrants Well-Known Member

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    some ppl are so used to getting away with things that they don't fear the precautions. its not the fact they they've never been beaten, it's the fact they've never been disciplined (you can discipline children w/o hitting) talking to them first and explaining why it's wrong then if they keep acting up then u can knock some sense into them different methods work with different kids

    reminds me of this vid where all the black and asian ppl were talking about their punishments by getting beaten by their parents and the white kids were just like "i was sent to my room for the rest of the night" or "my parents took my phone for the day" rly makes u think
     
  3. Kadmos1

    Kadmos1 Well-Known Member

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    Catholic priests are often also a hit with kids.
     
  4. Aisha Ann

    Aisha Ann I LOVE SELFISH VILLAINESS

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    Hahaha I laugh when my parent beat me with stick while my little sister hid behind me. Even though me and my little sister was adult now, mom hit us only if we forget doing house chores or be lazy. she don't hit us hard like before :(. I miss her hard punished. Also I enjoyed her light beat too while my little sister hid and panicked. lol:D:blobjoy: i like the way little sis hid behind me. Don't know why I feel proud.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2020
  5. Bakaturq

    Bakaturq Tell me, what do you see?

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    When your stepmother "slaps" you[​IMG]


    Parents who think money solves kids welfare, including punishment
    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Loni4ever

    Loni4ever The Fluffy White Wolf

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    I'm from a half Asian half European (white) family, but I was pretty much raised by my mom, the European one. I was never hit or beaten even once. Although there were times she got so angry I feared she might do sth but it never happened, and same for my siblings as far as I know. She only once slapped my oldest sis and from what she told me, both of them were like (☉д⊙) afterwards and she felt really sorry.
    I guess this also qualifies as a "my parents did it that way and I'd do the same if I had children" thing, like the first option in the poll. I just wouldn't wanna beat my kids. Of course the same type of actions can have different consequences for different people, so from a certain pov, beating your children might be beneficial for some. However, personally, I wouldn't do it.

    How should I say... if I had children, I'd want them to at least physically feel safe with me. I certainly wouldn't be perfect and as life just goes, they'll get hurt, whether that be because of me or sth else. So if possible, I'd like to avoid creating another source of hurt for them. I'm not a super warm and caring person but I'd want them to know that I'd never harm them. As for teaching and educating them, I'm sure there are other ways to do so just as efficiently or even better. Beating is certainly easy, quick and effortless so it might be a good way to make someone act the way you want them to out of fear. However, rather than fear, I'd like my children to regard me with respect. And I in turn would respect them.
    It's necessary to teach children that their actions have consequences, that they live in a world where eventually you'll have to face life and take responsibility. I don't think getting physical is necessary for that though. Sure every culture, habit and way of life has its pros and cons, its ugly and beautiful aspects but beating children is just really not my cup of tea.

    .... that said, it's not super likely I will have children. I'm kinda idealistic and on top of that I kinda lack the wish to have children. I would only wanna have some if I was more or less sure I could take care of them financially as well as emotionally. I don't know if I will ever reach that point though xD
     
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  7. Ai chan

    Ai chan Queen of Yuri, Devourer of Traps, Thrusted Witch

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    1. Hit sounds like a very bad word. But yes, if Ai-chan's daughter do bad things, she will get caned. This is something that we all agreed on (well, except for Iris, because she was raised spoiled). A cane in the right time and place, for the right offense, is perfect for shaping up children and teach them good or bad early on. Ai-chan parents never caned Ai-chan, but that's because Ai-chan was a good, cute kid at home. At school, Ai-chan was an unruly kid, and so Ai-chan got caned and never again cut lines. The memory of the pain has disappeared, but the memory of being caned for doing unacceptable things remained.

    2. Before caning can be used, the parents must first tell the children why such actions are unacceptable. Children are NOT stupid. They simply do not understand your values or how the world works because they didn't come out of your womb automatically as a worldly sage. But they did come out with a brain. If you patiently teach them your common sense and values, they may eventually get it. If they still don't get it, and continued to do bad things, then you can use the cane, but it should not be for the purpose of humiliating them, but to make them remember that if they do bad things, there are consequences.

    Remember people, not punishing your children makes more assholes. These assholes grow up to become trolls. Trolls kill people. Don't let your children become assholes.
     
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  8. I Ship anything cute

    I Ship anything cute [Chaos Twin :3] [Melo fanclub member]

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    I dunno i just feel like the more comfortable we are with hitting our kid the farther we'd go.
    The more we get used to using it as disciplinary measure the more often we use it over communicating and the rougher one would get.
    I grew up with the whole getting hit thing, and i just feel like it takes away trust, it makes it harder to be open or honest because your afraid of catching a beating.
    I'd rather just find an alternative measure, where we communicate things logically and openly to each other. They're free of punishment so long as they can give me a good reason why not to. If they fail then ill just limit their usage of whatever it is they enjoy.
     
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  9. GDLiZy

    GDLiZy Wise Deepsea Mermaid

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    What can discipline do when they just shot us a death glare and sprinted towards their room and slammed their door shut?

    In the end, any good parents would have to beg them to come out. And the kids would take it as an effective method.
     
  10. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    It's classed as assault in my country so I couldn't even if I wanted to (I don't).

    I was hit as a kid. I was mostly well-behaved until I decided I wasn't and even then it was used as a last resort. My parents hated it and I still feel sorry to them for pushing them to that point over and over again. I'm grateful to them for cherishing me so much they'd even physically discipline me to correct my behaviour when constant explanations, conversations and all their other methods (time out, loss of privileges, etc) didn't work. If it wasn't for them guiding and teaching me with love and discipline I might not even be here today. At a few points in my life I was heading down a bad road and they helped pull me back from walking off a cliff. I have nothing but gratitude, love and respect to give them for everything they've done.

    TLDR; Nah, I wouldn't hit my kids. I don't hit my nieces or my nephews. I was hit as a kid as a last resort and I don't regret it.
     
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  11. LittleBigSnowFlower

    LittleBigSnowFlower 悪くないよねぇ 〜

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    1. Would you ever hit your children as a disciplinary measure/Do you think children should be hit as a way to reinforce good behavior? Why/Why not? Also, do you come from an asian/non-asian household?
    -
    No it's not to be used frequently, violence is not the answer. My parents only does this as a last resort, they will just start is from teaching you, but if you have erred too much then yes it needs their tough love... It is in a way a good example of hitting your children, don't ever hit them always at so small mistakes or so, in time they'll grow to either traumatized to make mistake or to be strong too much that will heed no one (which is like being a spoiled brat, but this time it's a hardened brat).

    2. What other alternative ways do you think are effective in making sure a kid learns how to identify his wrongdoings
    - No foolproof way really. It really depends on the children and their parents. But the only advice i could is put hitting the children as last resort... This could also make the children themselves understand 'i did a very bad mistake that made them forced to hit me' and will make them understand on the long run.
     
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  12. Donutmindme

    Donutmindme [dounut][Zodiac:Golden snake][PROcrastinator]

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    I have black parents and my mom is very strict.
    My mom mostly hit us and our dad too but that was often rare, but if he did then that’s when we‘d know we’re all very screwed. Our mom was the bad cop, while our dad was the good guy. He says yes, she always says no. But they don’t hit much hit us anymore. Ik I haven’t gotten hit since I was 12? Maybe 10? So like Six-eight years ago.

    I would hit only to teach them pain and keep them in line every once and a while. Eventually they would grow out of it and I wouldn’t need to hit them. But if they get really stubborn and don’t want to listen to me I won’t hit them. I’ll jus’ watch them and see what they’d do. If I can’t stop them I’ll let it all happen and let them learn from life itself.
     
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  13. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    I didn't vote in the poll since there wasn't an option for: I was hit, I didn't mind it, I think it can be effective if used in moderation, but I still wouldn't hit my kids.
     
  14. Simon

    Simon [The Pure One's Chief Steward][Demon Beast]

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    The right punishment for the crime, I'm more of into public shaming.
     
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  15. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    My mother was pretty inventive with her punishments. I got caught fighting at school once so she 'donated' the next four weekends of mine to washing all the cars at the local police station.
     
  16. fteg123

    fteg123 Well-Known Member

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    That depends on severity.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
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