I have a friend whom I love to bits and pieces. I use to gain so much happiness being with her. However, now I feel like while I do feel happy, a very extreme happiness, she causes me to be sad more and more. Not that she is doing anything but living her life. It’s just our environment has change and there is a lot of outside factor. Because I love her so much, even small action causes a big emotional reaction with me and it’s exhausting. I’ve also notice that our old self comes out when we are in front of other people and when we are alone, the energy drains away. I scared that I talk too much or I annoy her. That’s she doesn’t love me anymore. Of course these are my own insecurities. When I’m not with her, it’s rare and hard for me to achieve the moments of extreme happiness but I, of course, find joy in other things. I find that I rather be in the middle than the extreme. We are close as friends are close but not like before. I understand that people change and people grow apart but because we were so close, it’s hard to accept. When I reach out, there feels like a wall. A wall that wasn’t present before or maybe it just wasn’t so clear. I’ve learn to not love one thing so much. Have any of you gone through this? Is this just rooted in insecurities? Probably. Thanks for reading if you did. I just couldn’t say this out loud.
You've both just grown apart as you've changed as people. If you find yourself being happy at other times, it doesn't really sound like your depressed. So I still think you guys have just grown apart. It happens in almost all relationships.
That seems to be a problem of communication Have you tried fucking her? How about a soft reset or return to the factory settings?
*hugs* I can relate. But well, in my opinion you need to love yourself first more. It is only after loving ourself, knowing ourself, and being true to ourself will we form healthy relationships. Maybe if you're ready, opening up this matter to her will bring you two much closer. Believe me it gets easier and easier to just live honestly (both towards yourself and to other people) when you get used to it. Even if it means cutting off people you love who can't accept you from your life. (Well this is the worst case scenario) But well... I hope it goes well for you. I suggest you share your insecurities with her and I hope your love towards her is the same with what she feels towards you! Life will always get in the way of your relationships with people. So both of you need to work to protect what you have. I wish you the best!
You know, sometimes we focus and grow dependant on other people to help us be happy. Sometimes, we even try to find meaning in something that just isn't there. If you haven't broached the topic with her...try doing so gently. Tell her that she is your best friend and it may be that you are misreading something.... If you don't want to do that then I advise you to find happiness in other things until the situation with her becomes clearer. Love and be kind to yourself in the meanwhile. Make an effort to take up other hobbies while the time passes by and you are ready to make whatever move you decide for your sake. Once you find joy in life itself, others tend to join in whatever you do and like. Or atleast, that has been my experience. In pursuing the things I am interested in, I have met some interesting people incidentally and form friendship/relationships. It's like a ball of synergy, you carry it with you and others with similar minds become attracted. It may also be that she is going through some stuff herself and does not want to share it with you now...and maybe never. I am not a big proponent of forcing feelings and closeness because it can lead to just the opposite. So...be a friend to her while you can and work on rediscovering yourself. Or something like that. It's what I'd do.
I didn't have a situation quite like yours, but I've had some that were similar to some extent. Hopefully they can at least give you something to relate to. I once had a close friend back in my middle/high school days, we had lots of fun together, talked a lot, hanged out a lot... It was very fun being together. ... Until we reached university that is. I went for a History Bachelor and my friend for an Engineering Bachelor. I dunno how things are where you're from, but over here History is kinda looked down as an easy course that nobody takes seriously and is filled with drug addicts and lazy people. While Engineering is praised and looked highly upon and what not. My friend kinda started proliferating this discourse over how their bachelor was so much better than mine and what not and yada yada yada. I mostly ignored it, because... Well, they were still fun to be around tbh. I liked being with them, we still had similar tastes (and most of my uni friends had totally different tastes to me, so I desperately needed some people that I could relate to at times), and playing games together was still very fun... But this relationship kept taking a toll on me, to the point being with them became stressful to me... In a word, the relationship became toxic. At some point I got sick of it, so I cut contacts with them for a whole year... It was only after they traveled abroad and met some people with a different mindset than them that they realized how disrespectful they were being and apologized to me for their behavior... I apologized back for mine, but they reiterated that it was mostly their fault. We made peace and are still friends now. ... This situation is obviously different from yours, but I just wanted to give it to you as an example that perhaps you might need to take a step back and look at the situation from a different perspective, and see if there isn't any outside factor or any thing in particular that is actively harming the relationship that was otherwise good. The other example I can give is from a friend I made online actually. This was back in my uni days. We hit it off really quickly and became really really really close really really fast. Like, we were BFF after a week of knowing each other or something, I shared extremely personal things that I never shared with anyone, discovered a lot more about myself, talked about my love troubles... I opened myself up to someone in a way I never got even close to with anyone. What happened then? Well... Time passed, and the main thing that linked us together became less prevalent in our lives. So we kinda... Drifted apart to some extent. Started talking less and interacting less. Do I like them any less than before? @HELL NO. But we do talk a lot less... Because it's hard to find an opportunity or a reason to talk. Because we don't have that thing binding us together anymore. I still feel like they're one of my closest and possibly the closest friend I have though. But we aren't in contact that often anymore... Perhaps what happened to you was similar in some way. Those are my own experiences at least. I hope they can help at least a small bit! >.<
Me and my best friend were the same.I mean we grew up there was this wall between us and both of us did not seem to talk it out, instead it streched to the point we aren't friends anymore. So yeah maybe you could talk about it .... Or spend more time together like watching a movie shopping random pranks etc or whatever you guys used to do
hmmm... Maybe give some space first for your friend..?? Just don't be too clingy cause that will come out as annoying... And if possible, try find something that both of you are interested in.. From there you can slowly nurture back the relationship.. Good luck tho...