Non-Fic Did you hear the one about the train?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Westeller, Apr 3, 2020.

?

Should I have just put this in Daily Laughs?

  1. Obviously.

    80.0%
  2. No way, man, more people will see it here and the world needs to know!

    40.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Westeller

    Westeller Smokin' Sexy Style!! Staff Member

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    Los Angeles is having some difficulty keeping up with coronavirus cases, and the hospital ship USNS Mercy was sent to provide aid and relief. A local train engineer grew suspicious of the ship's presence, however, and came to believe it was there for another reason. To spread the disease? A government takeover of the city? He wasn't sure.

    What he was sure of, however, was that there was only one thing he could do.

    Ram the ship with his goddamn train.

    ...

    Didn't really work out, of course. Turns out that trains are on rails for a reason. They don't perform so well once you run them off. He knew his job, though, and managed to get the train to within 250 feet of the ship. Not quite enough to take it out, but, well, at least the world is now aware that something is up with it. Right?

    https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/02/us/train-derailed-mercy-coronavirus-trnd/index.html
     
  2. replay

    replay ★Milk and Honey smelling Merchant★

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    and they said that weeds are good. . .
     
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  3. Lazriser

    Lazriser Well-Known Member

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    He definitely screamed America, fuck yeah! when he was doing his stunt. He needs a new hobby, this isn't GTA.
     
  4. TamaSaga

    TamaSaga Well-Known Member

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    I think trains can still travel on solid ground as long as they remain upright. The only problem is that they rely heavily on the rails to keep them that way. Once off the rails, it shouldn't take long for them to tilt...? Or, at least, I get the impression that their center of gravity is pretty high off the ground.

    Anyway, there definitely is no way to steer after leaving the tracks.

    [Edit] Looking at a photo from another news source, it looks like it remained upright but it didn't make it because it encountered obstructions along the way. Apparently trains can't jump curbs.
     
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  5. VesperNyan

    VesperNyan Well-Known Member

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    They screwed up bad time with trying to contain the virus. They should have stocked masks and other essentials WAYYYYYYYYYY before it reached mass critical. I can understand on some level why the guy was so suspicious as if he thought the government was intentionally trying to spread the virus. They should have enacted these measures months ago when it was still manageable, however no one wants to look bad so they post phone it till the last second.
     
  6. OverlordPotato

    OverlordPotato Well-Known Member

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    What can I say. People are losing brain cells more than having actual epidemic infections.
     
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  7. Ai chan

    Ai chan Queen of Yuri, Devourer of Traps, Thrusted Witch

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    Los Angeles has trains? Like, actual transit system?
     
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  8. TamaSaga

    TamaSaga Well-Known Member

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    Personally, I think that we did okay considering that we didn't have notification until after it had gone critical. And then we had to spin up mass-production of working test kits in that tiny leftover interval when it landed in our country. To make matters worse, technical details about the virus was just starting to be shared at that time so we basically had to start from scratch (read: we finally had enough infected of our own to perform testing). Assembly lines can take months to bring up. Just ask Elon Musk.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2020
  9. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    ... Wow.
     
  10. LNreader

    LNreader Courting Death

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    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Westeller

    Westeller Smokin' Sexy Style!! Staff Member

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    I.. don't know. I don't think so. Especially if this occurred near a dock.

    The U.S. has an extensive railway network, but it's used for the distribution of supplies rather than people. Only New York has a transit system that I'm aware of offhand. Other cities may have one, though.

    Edit -- I checked. LA does in fact have a transit system. I think this was a cargo train, though.
     
  12. UnGrave

    UnGrave ななひ~^^

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    Seems things down in the states are really going... Off the rails
     
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  13. LivingCorpse

    LivingCorpse Half-dead Neighborhood's Undead

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    Damn, you beat me to it...
     
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  14. Dat_Karma

    Dat_Karma Still Here

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    Plague Inc. is gonna win if this keeps up.
     
  15. reagents 11

    reagents 11 disaster personified

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    Here i thought GTA was always the simulation training before the real things in America.

    He really went over the lines didn't he.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2020
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  16. Llamadragon

    Llamadragon Well-Known Member

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    At least he found a way to clearly ex-press his opinion about the whole thing.
     
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  17. mir

    mir Well-Known Member

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    You sure that's not an April fool's article...?
     
  18. Lazriser

    Lazriser Well-Known Member

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    Can I expect real life cheat codes to work like simulated cheat codes?
    *starts jumping and crouching in circles in public*
     
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  19. Westeller

    Westeller Smokin' Sexy Style!! Staff Member

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    Yes. Unfortunately, this is our reality.

    I can certainly understand why a number of organizations gave up on April Fools’ this year. Their spiel about this being a somber period of time was obviously nonsense (who would believe setting aside humor was the correct thing to do under these circumstances anyway?). No, the truth was that they simply couldn’t compete with reality this year, and bowed out.
     
  20. Kadmos1

    Kadmos1 Well-Known Member

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    He is outshining Truck-kun here.