Define: friend

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by felidormit, Apr 16, 2020.

?

Do you have friends?

  1. yes

    31 vote(s)
    60.8%
  2. no

    2 vote(s)
    3.9%
  3. maybe

    18 vote(s)
    35.3%
  4. what is 'friend'? is it food?

    14 vote(s)
    27.5%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. MadraRua

    MadraRua :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) :: Divorcee

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2020
    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    2,173
    Reading List:
    Link
    Friends are there with you through thick and thin. Also they're not afraid of your shit and will put you in place when need be. A good friend listens but also talks to you if they're struggling. And let's not forget the laughs you can have with them.

    An acquaintance to me is a fair-weather friend. There but not there.
     
    imK, Meloman and felidormit like this.
  2. ExcitableFoci

    ExcitableFoci Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2019
    Messages:
    2,063
    Likes Received:
    3,570
    Reading List:
    Link
    Someone your brain regards as a 'family/companion' that should be looked after, be it for company, benefits or just obligation.
    This brings up a curious issue we have here in Spain. People tend to use the word 'friend' for every-fucking-thing.

    The co-worker you have? Friend.
    The dude you talked to for 3 mins? Friend.
    The guy you slighly dislike? Friend nontheless.

    Acquaintice would be someone I just met a few times/once and don't know much about. People I wouldn't bat an eye for even if they died tomorrow.

    Friend: see my first sentence.

    Close friend comes to be the same thing as from an outside perspective I only consider close friends to be friends.

    The best friend thingy seems to be more common with girls than men as we don't tend to care much about it.

    Why wouldn't you?
    Depends on how you view them.
    A lot of time.
    You never have such thing as too many friends.

    As for the little, 0?
    ??????
    I wouldn't care. This reminds me of the teenage drama I used to listen to everyday back in highschool lmao.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2020
    Meloman and felidormit like this.
  3. felidormit

    felidormit probably asleep.

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    10,690
    Reading List:
    Link
    it is subjective and that is why i want to see from other perspectives


    this language barrier ...


    so kinda depends on the settings, huh...


    hmm sometimes i just find it difficult to put 'how much is more' to be on the next level. you get me?


    that group meetings, are they like get together after the semester ends? like a reunion or something?


    i see...


    thank you, Underlord


    have you ever been stabbed in the back and twist the knife before?


    that acquaintance one sounds like air ...
     
    imK likes this.
  4. Blondiebaka

    Blondiebaka Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2019
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    15
    Reading List:
    Link
    For me acquaintances is someone that talk to me
    Friends are someone that know me
    And bestfriend is someone that i can all my secret
     
    imK and felidormit like this.
  5. GonZ555

    GonZ555 What i want for christmas is you

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2015
    Messages:
    2,048
    Likes Received:
    41,637
    Reading List:
    Link
    We usually go karaoke or just eat and talk at a mall. We sometime celebrate someone's birthday.
    I think our next group get together was either going to be our first D&D play session, or a barbecue at someone's place. But it was postponed cause Coro-chan..
     
    imK and felidormit like this.
  6. foxyprince

    foxyprince Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2017
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    91
    Reading List:
    Link
    acquaintance people you just know but barely hang with.
    Friends are that group of people you can hangout with and be slightly comfortable with.
    Bestfriend/bestfriends are people that you consider family even with no blood relation.

    As you grow older though you'll be left with acquaintances and bestfriends... friends you hangout with will just fade away then everyone outside of your bestfriend circle will all be considered acquaintances. Then keep your circle tight and encourage each other to improve and be happy for each other's success when you find that group of people man you are lucky.
     
    imK and felidormit like this.
  7. norach212

    norach212 Unknown being

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2016
    Messages:
    364
    Likes Received:
    352
    Reading List:
    Link
    In my dictionary;
    - Acquaintance is when two people know each other
    - Friends is when two people enjoyed talked or hanging out together
    - Best friend is lie.
     
    imK and felidormit like this.
  8. Meloman

    Meloman My dog is lazier than me

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2018
    Messages:
    1,355
    Likes Received:
    1,092
    Reading List:
    Link
    Can you relate to that person? Do you connect on some level more than “hello” while throwing away rubbish near your house? Is there empathy, understanding, trust? Do you feel weird telling they you had a really big sh*t in the toilet after you come back from the bathroom? Can you tell them about your dreams or plans? Can you tell them about your fears? Can you tell them your secrets? Credit card password?

    well the last one might be a bit too much. But I actually have 1 friend who knows two of my computer passwords, one that he actually remembers, I know for fact. And the last time we saw each other IN PERSON was several YEARS ago. And even longer before that. I am very lucky to have a friend like that.

    I would define a best or very close friend is somebody you can do everything apart from kissing and having intercourse with. If those two are activities are not involved and the friendship stays “pure”- then you got yourself a real friend. Congrats.

    sometimes it is really easy to connect with someone emotionally or intellectually. Like say you decide to join knitting club. And you adore knitting, really passionate about it.

    Then, when you see another person who is as passionate about knitting as you are- you two “click”- there, well done, you got yourself a friend. From here you can just be knitting friends and meetup during club activities or you could suddenly find out that both of you also love cycling and go on a trip together- friendship becomes closer.

    both are possible. Usually when you meet people when you feel some form of extreme emotion it is easier to make friends.

    Just as the two of you love knitting, and get familiar over it, similarly you could make friends over your mutual rage about deforestation or killing whales.

    That’s a negative emotion, but so long as you are passionate about trees and whales, just as the other person- then you will still “click” over the rage about destroyed environment and go join green peace together.
     
    Lurking, imK and felidormit like this.
  9. Himura Kouen

    Himura Kouen Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2016
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    42
    Reading List:
    Link
    For me,
    Acquaintance: just met or only talked to few times, polite smile, yes-no answers

    Friend: someone I seek out only when in crowds or gathering

    Close friend: someone I actually seek out on my own initiative, to chat, hang out or something

    Best friend: someone I can share my secret with (currently, only my family count in this)
     
    imK and felidormit like this.
  10. The Hamster Overlord

    The Hamster Overlord Mad scientist/Revered wizard/Alleged antichrist

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2018
    Messages:
    4,286
    Likes Received:
    4,557
    Reading List:
    Link
    Friendship is a platonic and not romantic relationship where you allow your friend (and I hope they allow you too, otherwise you're either being used or being annoying) more rights in your personal space than everybody else with the exception for those who you allow similar degrees of rights for the reasons imposed upon by the norms of society naturally (like kinship and stuff).
    I tried to generalise my definition of friendship here as much as I could, so I got this thingy.
    There're many kinds of friendship but if I separate all of them, it would end up something like "every friend is a type of friend on their own", as it's impossible (I believe) to treat everybody the same, and even two people will not be treated the same, as long as you know them well enough, which is required of frienship
     
    Lurking, imK, Meloman and 2 others like this.
  11. deepon

    deepon One who inevitably awakens

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2016
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    1,415
    Reading List:
    Link
    Close friends are a 4/4 while average friends are somewhere around 2/4. 1/4 would be friendly acquaintance.
     
    imK and felidormit like this.
  12. Evil

    Evil Twisted Mirror

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2016
    Messages:
    353
    Likes Received:
    4,328
    Reading List:
    Link
    A friend is a person who hasn't betrayed you yet.
     
    imK, GonZ555, otaku31 and 1 other person like this.
  13. felidormit

    felidormit probably asleep.

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    10,690
    Reading List:
    Link
    my main language also has that 'friend' issue. colleague has friend in it, classmate has friend in it, that neighbourhood kid you barely talk to but in the same age range as you has friend in it.


    hmm i see...


    *pat pat*


    thank you for the advice!


    i like the way you straight up said it is lie


    your examples are magnificent!


    that is true, especially the 'every friend is a type of friend on their own' part


    after they betrayed you, can they go back to be your friend again?
     
    imK and Meloman like this.
  14. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

    Joined:
    May 5, 2018
    Messages:
    1,709
    Likes Received:
    12,371
    Reading List:
    Link
    those you have spent 40 hours with when you didn't have to share their presense within the last year or half year are friends

    60 hours is close friends

    less than 20 is acquaintances

    vaguely remember this researach from somewhere

    if you have to share space with them, as in you must be confined together in classroom or work environment, then the time spent together doesnt contribute to the hours to make friend
     
    felidormit, Snowbun and imK like this.
  15. Shem

    Shem ┃ᐕ) ⁾⁾「Lv 69 BL Hunter」☆ Vrelty's Seme ♤♡ ꪋς꧖ ☆

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2017
    Messages:
    6,084
    Likes Received:
    74,579
    Reading List:
    Link
    Acquaintance-someone who you just met briefly. You only know their name or sometimes not at all.
    Friend-someone who you get along with, but there's a limitation, you don't ask too much, you don't tell them secrets, you don't tell any uncessary things.
    Bestfriend-knows about your secrets, sometimes you don't have to talk for a few days or weeks to prolong your friendship and for them to not forget you, because they will still. You've been with them for years. You can talk to them without limitation at all.
     
    felidormit and Lurking like this.
  16. felidormit

    felidormit probably asleep.

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    10,690
    Reading List:
    Link
    that's interesting, i would like to read this reasearch


    i see. is the 'bestfriend' one also correlates with time like what Lurking said?
     
  17. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

    Joined:
    May 5, 2018
    Messages:
    1,709
    Likes Received:
    12,371
    Reading List:
    Link
    now i feel like finding it. brb
    why do i say that when i aint sending till im ready

    uh i misremembered the numbers. damnable numbers

    80-200+ hours is close friend
    summary
    https://news.ku.edu/2018/03/06/study-reveals-number-hours-it-takes-make-friend
    source journal article
    https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407518761225

    "As Wiseman (1986) points out, friendships, unlike work or school relationships, are not organized around particular tasks. When acquaintances elect to do something together outside of the environment where they met, it can change the definition of the relationship because it implies that a closer relationship is desired. " oh guess im not friends with most of my dnd pals,,,, nah thats totally not school or work.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
    felidormit likes this.
  18. felidormit

    felidormit probably asleep.

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    10,690
    Reading List:
    Link
    thanks! i've read the summary and will read the joirnal later. i think it's cool that they even make a tool to guess one's friendship closeness, unfortunately i can't access the link directed.
     
    Lurking likes this.
  19. Lurking

    Lurking Do the dead suffer, or is it a sweet release?

    Joined:
    May 5, 2018
    Messages:
    1,709
    Likes Received:
    12,371
    Reading List:
    Link
    its way old link

    not way old but 2 years

    for some reason i misread publication date for 2006. dont mind me
     
    felidormit likes this.
  20. HarryHenrySmith

    HarryHenrySmith New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2020
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    8
    Reading List:
    Link
    Friends are people you are willing to spend time with even when you are at a very good part in the novel.
     
    Lurking and felidormit like this.