Okay, so people, a lot of people pity me and think I need help, like every stranger I meet in real life and on the internet. So now I can never have a genuine human connection where someone doesn't already have a preconceived notion of me. Why is this? Because my father basically complained about how hopeless I am to everyone and anyone he could, and asked for advice; he was probably genuinely worried. And that basically spread like wildfire, I'm guessing through facebook or some other social network. Why did he complain about me? It's because I actively stated how I didn't and never would like him. It's because I did terribly in high school and told him it was because of him and because he wouldn't leave me alone. Why did I say I that? Because when I was a child he would repeatedly assault me while shouting and grinning at me with his teeth bared. And it wasn't a regular shout, it was the angry kind, the loudest possible kind a human could make. And whenever I would be late to school or get bad grades, he would yell at me in the same way. And during high school, I was going through a stage of depression where I basically slept 12-14 hours a day. When I was still a child, I didn't even process how much damage having your freedom taken away and being made to feel powerless by your only parent would cause. So I was going through my depression. And I was doing the best I could. But it was made significantly harder by my father who thought I was making excuses and always blamed video games for my behavior. My father is basically a delusional monster who liked to take out his anger with the world on his only son. And because of him, everyone thinks I'm a pathetic loser. And people genuinely want to help me. And what's wrong with that you ask? Because I don't want or need anyone's help. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm a confident person. I just want to be seen as and treated normally. But since I don't have any friends or a girlfriend, everyone automatically assumes I'm depressed, or hate humanity, or that there's some big problem with me. It's so frustrating. They all look at me like I'm a freak with those pitying eyes. I'm not a person to them, I'm a thing. I don't want a girlfriend because I understand how big of a commitment it would be. Going through trauma really helps a person understand things like the frailty and importance of emotional promises. I know having a girlfriend isn't the same thing as marriage, but emotionally, it may as well be. And I'm at that age where I DON'T WANT that commitment. And I don't have any friends because everyone sees me as a thing. Basically the only place online where I could meet people with a common interest was on a DnD forum, but all the people there basically kept on begging me to open up to them instantly. They thought so badly that this guy really needs friends, so I'll graciously open up about my personal life and ask about his right on the spot. It was so mortifying. No one can see me as me, as a person, because everyone thinks I'm a charity case because of my emotionally unstable father who is incapable of recognizing his own wrongs. He basically ruined my life, to the point where my only option now is to be a loner for the rest of my days. Because people keep on trying to antagonize me to make me open up to them. People think they're entitled to me, that I absolutely need them. The whole entire all strangers pitying me and trying to be nice to me only intensified the feelings of powerlessness and having my freedom taken away that my father created. I know people mean well, but they just make me feel awful. Oh, and my dad somehow reads my posts here, and knows who I am on this forum. I never wanted to lay it out bear. Because I didn't think it was anyone's fucking business but my own. But I'm so fucking tired of everyone pitying me. And I'm so fucking tired of my dad. He bought me wendy's today. Why did he do that? Because I mentioned somewhere on this forum that I like wendy's. He literally knows so little about me that he'll take any chance to make it look like he cares about me. He's trying to make things better, but he doesn't get that buying me things doesn't wipe away years of emotional torment and a ruined life. He's such a fucking sociopath, or so emotionally retarded, he thinks that buying things is the equivalent of understanding and trust. He means well, but the only things he could say for my entire life was toxic stuff that was basically the equivalent of bullying. He's literally the worst kind of person that makes people feel bad for him when he is the reason for his problems in the first place. I'm better than all of you people because I would never judge a person before I knew them, and I'm better than my dad because he's unable to understand people and takes out his anger recklessly.
Are you just basically shtting my life? Are you happy that people are worried for you and you act like some kind of narcissistic asshole who thinks that because some kind of asshole ruins you life, you go 'Oh fck everyone who is mean to me and sht'? Bacause, your not the only one who is born not being blessed. I get ignored for my entire life because i act like some kind of emo bastard that only wants to get attention and because i keep shooing away the people i cared about, they died. My mom? Died on my birthday. Uncle who was like my second dad? Dead by a prick who just laughing about how happy he was that killed him. I always tried to change and been seen as a problamatic child who can't seem to change and i have no problem with that. Because? I know that i need to change myself. Maybe your just blessed that everyone is truly worried for you while i'm here being called a nonexistent entity which envies attention. But did i act like you who wants to be like a kid that plays fortnight? No. I struggle from the ash unlike you crybaby. I just keep seeing this pretentious silver-spoon btches that whined about how they get beaten by their father when you don't probably struggle at living. I live in a place where my life is a waste and i could easily die in some street without anyone to remember me by. I have 3 siblings who basically ruin my life and grew up isolated from the world because of them. But did it stop me from trying to live? No. Thats why i hate people like you the most.
1. Ur phone or PC is probably 'pinchado', he has access to your data. Which is illegal if you are 18+ and you didn't expressly let him. Save this piece of knowledge for whenever you wish to report him. Save proof of your DNA donor doing things that look illegal. (abuse...etc) So that you can have a chance to get justice if you ever wish to. 2. You have issues. I am not pitying you. I am stating a fact. I lack a lot of info I need to properly judge but the people around you are douchebags. However that doesn't negate the fact of you DNA donor causing you psychological damage. You don't need to go to the psychologist right now because you are not mentally ill. You should however feel like you need to get away from your father. Because thats what an issue is. Psychologists can help you deal with that issue whenever you are ready. It doesn't have to be next week or next month. Specially with the source of those problems around. I honestly don't know you enough to start spewing bullshit to feel better about myself, but it is what I understood from your text. 3. As cruel as it sounds. The best thing for your mental health would be starting anew somewhere else. You could try to fix this by using an extreme patience and communication but I fear that the most realistic thing would be just endure this until you are 18 y/o and start somewhere anew without people to annoy you. If you lack money you can always sue your DNA donor. File for goverment's support...etc Life doesn't tend to be fair. Realistically, you won't listen to my 3rd point. And its a logical thing to do. You don't simply listen to strangers online about taking life changing decisions. Specially when you may end very badly because of a lot of factors like money. However, the point I tried to convey is that there are still decisions you can take if you ever reach a breaking point.
this thread gets a solid 'yikes' from me. Mostly cause I can't see a single positive way to respond to it. I'd understand if it was a blog post, but threads are meant for the public to respond to, so I'm not sure what kind of discussion this one is designed to foster. Anyway, I'm sure you're probably just venting about your situation, but I don't know anything about it so I'll just say good luck.
Best thing to make your father suffer lol Naa its online it will get 20% positive 80 negative 20% may be way lower too
You say that others force you to open up, but speaking from my experience I saw you change your profile picture and status many times in a way that it basically made anyone think you had some trouble you might need talk about. In other words - if you don't want attention - don't behave the way that asks for it. P.s. even this post as serious as it can really be, can be seen as an attempt to get attention tbh.
Hmmm well in a there is currently so many process that i have so ill just say my three cent Weelll in at the beginning is understandable well since hmm strangley enough were kinda of similar but at the same time the opposite and well around gray territory, now the second half of your rant is quite strange in a way that it makes me pity you not in a way normal people does but in a way that the second half of the rant sounds like you and your father are the same. Now why i said that your similar to your father because well simply your emotion and past is still mold in shape well depending how old you are but yeah That is my current opinion from what i analyzed on your rant there My advice is just forget about it, not in a way to dump it but more about as a experience to go through more harsher thing in the future i mean compared to us were the lucky ones compared to others around the globe with huge misfortunes and whatnot meh Thats about it man good luck Edit:Shit im late again
he needs therapy, you need therapy. he is at fault for many things. your also at fault for avoiding a lot of things including social interaction. no would think your a charity case if you had social hobbies. which is partly your dad's fault since he did all those things that influenced you a lot, but it's also your own fault for not trying. no one will reach out if you don't reach out. friends don't drop from the sky, and it can be awkward to communicate with other, but that's part of life it's called social skill because you acquire it after practicing and failing and succeeding sometimes. idk why he did what he did, but playing blame game won't fix you nor will it make your situation better. if he feels the need to please you it's probably because he feels bad about what he has done or has a lot of regrets or has trouble expressing himself I can't tell never met him, but there are many ppl who have trouble expressing themselves in healthy manner. you both need therapy asap neither of you can communicate verbally and you reaching out a forum is a big flag. I suggest you both write down your thoughts and concerns things that bother you thing that make you scared insecure etc, and take it to therapy and share it there anything you do by yourselves will end in argument and toxic behavior as both of you have problems socially. how severe idk, but you need to see a professional. the reason you need to write it down is so that you can share a more accurate description instead of having to come up with things as you talk to the therapist it makes it easier for them to understand your situation.
Time is a great medicine. It heals, it revitalizes, but the most important is, time is a great teacher. I didn't read the whole post but I know you will learn to keep your emotions and history to yourself. Take them to a psychologist. They will help you. Here? I can't even begin to understand the fuck you were expecting. Peace, brother.
If you didn't like your father, get out of his house and live on your own. Can't really complain if your life is supported by his income. It's something you have deal with if you're living by his income. His house, his rule. Of course, I don't recommend to cut off your connection with your father completely. Even if you didn't like him, it still doesn't change the fact that he spent a lot of his money to keep you alive.
if you under 18 then I'll understand your behaviour a lil. but if you are an adult then this is kinda weird. If you are under 18 and goes to school still then stay more at school, make friends doesn't matter if they see you whatever way what matters is your actions and how you prove that you ain't damage goods, pick a hobby, and just do whatever makes you happy stay away from drugs though you might go whelp im gonna fuck up everyone. If you an adult then man/lady pick yourself up back this ain't a very good attitude if you hate your father that much and think that he has ruined everything for you or just a toxic to your life then move to place where he can't reach you... cut connections just start over in a new place then pick a hobby there meet people. But honestly don't trust me I'm not an expert this is just my opinion and I don't really know how you feel... go to a psych expert they know what to do.
So your father knows your online identity and spies on yours posts here, huh? And you decided to vent about him here?! That's one weird way to communicate, I guess?
I'm sorry, but I simply wanna say, reading your post remind me of people who play victim, it's not my fault it's THEIR fault... IF you really fed up with your father or people pitying you like you said I will suggest try to ignore them, and I also wanna remind you, if you STILL depend on your parents to live, not independent yet, living your own life with your own money, all you can do is endure it because you NEED them to live, but if you already live an independent life, why not try to move out of the house, look for work far from home where no one can recognize you... Or.. Simply ask your father to sit with you and talk, explain it to him clearly what he is doing make you uncomfortable, I have done it with my father and it work fine, my father listen to me complain about him and he share his though then we look for middle ground.. Cheers tho...
Though my situation isn't as bad as yours, I understand the feeling of having your parents' expectations and ideals force your to become isolated, and failure leading to excessive angry screaming about how much of a failure their children are despite only being in elementary school. Parents really don't understand how much they really impact and affect their children, as they reflect their problems and negative thoughts upon their children. Leading them to become as twisted as them, and years later the questioned why their children grew up that way. Perhaps people may think it's not the most serious problem, but emotional scaring and the ignorance of why their children end up the way they are, is infuriating. To be honest, in person, friendship could be found if you could somehow find a group of similar interests that hopefully hasn't heard all the talk from your dad. And if you do, you should just talk about what you like instead of going in deeper if you don't want to. People should respect your privacy on some things, so just try to show yourself and hope they don't hear anything from your father. What might work better though is trying to find similar interest groups/forums and just maintain online friendships, despite how most people view them, online friendships can be longlasting and loyal, where you can be yourself without having your father try to portray yourself as a victim. And if the same thing that happened with your dnd forum with people asking for you to seek help, then maybe you should try to seek some form of therapy in order deal with your poor relationship with your father. You don't have to forgive him, but maybe you need help moving on from the horrible things he's done and look forward in life. Your post reminded me too much of how I feel sometimes, so I really hope you'll find peace and be able to move on to new horizons with new people. I just wanted to say, I have no idea what you're asking for (other than venting), so I wanted to say good luck in the world and that you got this. (Also small twitch streamers have small audiences where people can become close, so maybe you can check it out more and find like minded people).
haa i love information age when your every move can be tracked how do you not love it my phone got 3 spyware installed in 1 month frame still dont know who did it lol gonna kill him
The way you wrote this seems to indicate that you want to be pitied though? You portray yourself as a victim (not gonna make an assumption of whether you are or not, I don't know enough about the situation from an unbiased perspective), through multiple statements indicating why you don't do something, as it is due to this or that. I get that you find your father has had a negative impact on your life thus far, however you are still young. There are multiple people around the world facing much greater problems than a parent that doesn't accept any boundaries and may have an anger problem and shitty parenting style. If you don't like the situation you are in and you are an adult, find a way to move out and start over. A truly confident person doesn't need other people to believe they are confident. Pretty much what self-confidence is.
So something did happen to you today right? because only an idiot will type that long post without any reason. You should stop thinking about other people because that only gonna add more mental stress. Just ignore whatever your family, friends or any idiot on the internet saying about you. I ignore whatever criticism people have about me, Those words are not gonna hurt me and correcting them is a pain in the ass. so let them be. Look at me now, I'm feeling a lot better due to my new approach. Don't take people's advice and get open to your parents, that will make you look like you want them to take pity in you. Just be open about the world, just acknowledge you are a selfish, greedy asshole like everyone else. It's better to acknowledge those than thinking yourself as pure/good person.
You guys honestly aren't helping. Telling someone to stop playing the victim won't magically make him better or 'wake' him up. You are just venting on him. And 2 wrongs don't make a right. Can't we be better than that?
You are the problem. Just leave if you don't want your environment. You should realise that you can't change people around you but you can choose wherever to go, assuming you are capable of being independent. From your post, I believe that you are still immature, maybe mid or late teens?? and severely lacking in discipline. You are crying because your father roast you about your bad grades, surprise!! -dipshit, high school is not hard if you study. I believe you're not even in University yet. Study hard and give everyone a chance since you're the one incapable of escaping your self-assumed hellhole that is your life.