Discussion The importance of socializing

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Martialegg, May 18, 2020.

  1. Martialegg

    Martialegg [World's most powerful Egg] [HazyPrecise's Senpai]

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    This thread is a rant and It's a bit longer than usual~
    I thought that this is a good discussion topic, as this is something that everyone would go through, whether they like it or not.

    You see, a lot of people nowadays are really self-centered and selfish that they can't even realized this problem that I need to solve it personally.
    I have this junior colleague of mine that has a really severe inferiority complex.
    On the surface, his problem is because he's jealous of someone that able to do work with less effort, yet better results.
    The problem has become severe enough that it affected the harmony of my workplace, so I took him out for a drink to talk about it personally because it is my responsibility to stabilize the harmony.
    At first, he declined to open up rather severely, but it turns out that he also need to vent it out after a few drinks.

    He said that he's jealous of anyone that has better talent than him. He also said that he faced more trials than most people faced because he's talentless and dull-witted. The effort that he takes is at least twice more than average people.
    The important point is that nobody appreciated his hard work. Worse, they mocked him for being incompetent.
    He builds up pressure inside that he's thinking of quitting the job because he feels that he's not competent enough on it. Although he doesn't hate the work, but the peers' pressure is almost making him stressed too much.

    If you see his work's results, it's not as bad as he thinks. In fact, he's above average in terms of results.
    He's the literal definition of a hard worker and quite harsh to himself.
    That said, he requires a lot more time to digest or learn new information and adapt to it.

    His bad points however, is that he's bad at socializing. This makes him quite isolated in the workplace.
    At first, nobody minded him and treated him like a new worker that takes time to adapt into the workplace.
    But as time goes on, people is starting to dislike him for some reason.

    It turns out, the reason for their dislike is because he's too strict on others and doesn't care anyone's opinion or rule. He just cares about the company's rule, his superior's order, and his work.
    It's not at all about his incompetence. In fact, everyone treated him with respect because he's working harder than most people.
    It's just that he doesn't see his colleague as a human, but rather a robot that will do their job and duty without complain.

    Because of those dislikes however, people criticized him harshly. They just took it as a chance to vent their negative feelings.

    As an introvert, I completely understand what he's going through.

    To solve the problem, I purposely tried to record his confession on my phone without telling him.
    After his fellow worker heard the recordings, they changed their perspective.
    It is actually just a big misunderstanding because they thought he looked down on them.

    At the later day, they apologized to each other and become much more harmonious than most teams.
    After a few months, they become one of the best and competent team in the company.

    After around half a year from then, the same shit happened again with a different team.
    Just yesterday, I brought the troublemaker to a drink yet again and solve the problem in similar way.
    People now nicknamed me as a 'Chief Psychologist' because of that and I feel embarrassed about it.

    It's to the point that people keep sharing their life's problem to me that I feel sick about it.
    It's fine if it's a complex or relatively need advice, but most of their problems are so petty and small that I feel annoyed listening to it.

    For fuck sake, The younger generation of these few years are making me a headache because of how low their EQ and socializing experiences are. I think I'll go complain the HR and ask them to test their EQ or socializing skills. Or else I'd really seriously changing my career without me knowing and babysit them all year around.

    That's it. Thx for reading. (y)
     
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  2. Zeusomega

    Zeusomega M.D of Olympus Pvt Ltd. Seeking [Boltzmann brain]

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    Who needs socializing when there's p**n :blobpeek:.



    If only it was possible.
     
  3. Alfha Robby

    Alfha Robby Well-Known Member

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    Well at least you didn't meet with bootlicker opportunities, here its pretty common to defame someone behind their back while acting nice goodies to each other and your boss claim over your credit / hard work while blaming his subordinate whenever they make a blunder or massive mistake especially in front of your superiors which honestly ruin the working environment.

    Kinda make sense some people become more self center & selfish if they were hurted by the same scene over & over again.

    Even worse albeit rare there's some people become shut-in due to stress for a while lol.
     
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  4. Alfha Robby

    Alfha Robby Well-Known Member

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    Only loser would use porn to fap and cum lol, honestly the fact that it become harder to memorize something just because you watch porn is already unforgiveable, government should ban it.
     
  5. Zeusomega

    Zeusomega M.D of Olympus Pvt Ltd. Seeking [Boltzmann brain]

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    They tried and failed.

    It's the divine land we'll never let it go :cookie::blobowoevil_horns::blobhero:
     
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  6. lazyasianscientist

    lazyasianscientist Well-Known Member

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    He reminds me of anai from aggretsuko
    :blobpeek::blobpeek::blobpeek:
    [​IMG]

    But tbh i have to admit at least your team managed to resolve it and kudos to you! Listening to petty problems like that is so annoying. Sometimes you just wanna smack them at their blind pettiness.

    I had a similar experience with that with someone in university but their pride was too stuck up in their asses from pettiness to the point this causes them for people to later avoid them due to their personality. Theyre fine at first but oh boy once i was late to a meet up due to a doctor's appointment and they never talked to me since :blobawkward: turns out i wasnt the only one
     
  7. prongsjiisan

    prongsjiisan Apostle of Violence

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    that's what happen when you're child grown up with tablets, computer, and so on. I myself forbid my grandkids from having ones. Also parents a generation before you becomes more individualistic. This is problem for your generation my friend.
     
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  8. Martialegg

    Martialegg [World's most powerful Egg] [HazyPrecise's Senpai]

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    That'll be the end of that guy's career and stuck in that position until someone dig a pitfall for him and no one helps him.

    It happened when I'm still a low level employee and the guy fired an employee because of his own mistakes.
    When it happens again, a lot of people records and creating evidence against him and secretly reported it to the higher ups.

    And I've never heard of him since then.
     
  9. ReadOrDie

    ReadOrDie already dead

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    Porn is just an inferior version of hentai.
     
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  10. Zeusomega

    Zeusomega M.D of Olympus Pvt Ltd. Seeking [Boltzmann brain]

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    .... Ok:hmm: that's quite a philosophical thought.

    Quite like if chicken or egg came first.

    Hmm this needs further secluded divination.
     
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  11. Senros

    Senros Well-Known Member

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    Well, I'm probably part of the "younger generation" (I'm 24.) Doesn't help that I avoid people most of the time, so I don't deal with people all that often, so I don't know how to deal with people all that well. And if you count the amount of times I've used "I" already, you can probably guess, that I'm fairly self-centered.

    So until here you are completely right. The only thing that I think I have going for me is that I usually try to look things from other's perspective. I don't always do it and sometimes I end up being kind of a doormat for being to considerate of others, so you have to keep it in moderation. There are many times that I don't say things, because I might hurt the other person, which seems like I'm walking on eggshells around them, which usually makes them do the same (some people are somehow inmune to it and are direct anyways.)

    I don't know if I would call you "Chief Psychologist", but at the very least you handled the situation a lot better than I would have. I would have probably told him something that might have easily been insulting to most people. I probably would have been fairly polite, but I would have told him something like, "Stop being such an hypocrite child. You expect them to work like robots, but always treat you well? Even if you don't take their opinions into consideration and hurt them as a result?"

    I'm not sure how you could test EQ, that is also at least a bit friendly to shy people/people with low self esteem. If I don't have low self esteem, I'm at least shy, so stressful situations that I don't deal with often are the bane of my existence. And I feel like in an interview they would put you in a stressful situation to test your EQ.

    Anyways, I do think that people should talk to strangers from time to time. Go to a bar alone and talk to some strangers. Go to a park and start up a conversation with someone you see... it's something that I know I should do, but never do, because it's "scary." Even though, even if the person rejects you and tells you to eat shit, it actually doesn't matter. Now you know that either the person is an asshole or the way you talked to them was really really bad. But it's one thing to know that's how it actually is and another one to feel comfortable (or confident) enough to do it.
     
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  12. chencking

    chencking [Daolord Grammar Nazi]

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    I mean you could have also just taken the new worker drinking with the rest of the team or done a few icebreakers. It sounds like all you did is get them drunk, record them and share the video without their permission. Is that even legal btw?

    edit / PS: If the guy's work is above-average, why did he feel like a failure? Was there no feedback? That might be something for the company to address.

    PPS: I think this article make an interesting point. One of the best predictors of a team's success is how comfortable members feel in the team.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2020
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  13. Liyus

    Liyus Laksha's Desu~ Cat

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    that is only a part....the other is the overprotective parents that chose everything for you, labeling their reasoning "everything i do is for you"....
     
  14. Martialegg

    Martialegg [World's most powerful Egg] [HazyPrecise's Senpai]

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    Actually, I did that a couple of times and it didn't work out. When they're confronted each other directly, they have this 'pride' and refuse to back down on the argument.

    I think it's legal as long as you're actually had the right to do it. I'm responsible for him and his team, so I just make use of alcohol to lessen their guards and forced them to speak their feelings. I won't let him drink to the point of drunk ofc.
    There's a reason why people likes to drink to become closer, you know? xd
     
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  15. Donuts

    Donuts Endless surge of emotions

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    Socializing? What’s that???
     
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  16. Martialegg

    Martialegg [World's most powerful Egg] [HazyPrecise's Senpai]

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    At times like those, It is important to take their side or just shut up. Criticizing someone won't help much if they don't ask it themselves.
    Just listen and when he ask for your opinion, then just say it neutrally.

    Only when it is work, then you must do it the stricter way. Emotions on the other hand, it's something that you can't force them.
     
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  17. Senros

    Senros Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, if you criticize it will make them defensive and less proned to work things out (usually.)
    I agree that you can't force people to change their emotions. You can at most tell them that they could react in a more possitive way and then it's for them to decide. (This doesn't have much, if anything, to do, but I believe you can't force people to do anything. You can make the option of doing what you want be their best option, but the person always has the option to walk out. Even if there is a contract. Even if it's the law. The person will have to deal with the consequences, but no one has to put up with shit, if they don't want to. Still, sometimes putting up with it is the best choice for the short term. Might be a controversial opinion.)
     
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  18. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    On the plus side, you not only helped your co-workers, but you also improved the harmony of your team... Way to go! ^^)/
     
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  19. Lazriser

    Lazriser Well-Known Member

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    You overestimate the power of normal sex! Not everyone needs to tap a living person or someone who is real. Some like tapping unspoken forbidden pleasures! It's rather a merit for them to not procreate. Think about it.
    Not all flesh can satisfy one's own appetite for the unknown!
     
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  20. Alfha Robby

    Alfha Robby Well-Known Member

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    "needs" ??? more like "could" lmao

    just admit it you couldn't afford to get laid so you run away from reality (albeit rare there's indeed case where some people get broken hard due to relationship and just decide to dwell into the world of 2D considering just how cliche it's at some linguistics genre)