Oneshot How do I write a Tragedy?? Please give me ideas

For my school assignment, I have to write a short tragedy. But I don't really read sad stories, nor horror movies, and I consider myself very much an optimist...

I wrote this, but I feel like it's not tragic enough. And I don't know what I could add to make it more tragic. Any ideas? (P.S. The original text was written in my native language Portuguese, then I just MTLed to English)

Elisa and José were married and had a son. This son was called Fernando and was 3 years old when he died of being run over.

He ran out into the street to get his ball, which had rolled over there. José ran after him and called for him, but it was too late.

After the accident, José slowly fell into depression. Elisa also suffered from the death of her son, but it was different. She found out about what happened for her husband and the police, but José saw it all happen in front of him. The thought that he could have saved his son haunted him. And every day when he went to work, he had to cross the same street where his son was run over, seeing that bloodstain that could not be completely erased.

One night, José couldn't take it anymore and took a gun. But Elisa noticed and, crying, she hugged him from behind and begged him to drop the gun. José removed her arms, closed his eyes, and aimed the gun at his head. Elisa, already desperate, launched herself forward and tried to force the weapon out of his hand. But this sudden movement made José unintentionally pull the trigger and shoot her.

 

All you got to do is spend a lot of time generating interest, care, concern, maybe even love into something. And then disappoint everyones expectations at the end. The more abrupt, the better. Writing a joke isn't much different tbh.

I'd say based of you wrote, you need most of the story to be about love/care. The tragedy should be in the very last paragraph or sentence.

 

By asking us about our RL.

 

I came here for the webnovels not to be personally attacked

 

almost anything can be turned into a tragedy just like they can be turned into, well, just about any type of work, it's just about how you show the prospective of the cast and how much you put into it. As your looking for something short (I'm guessing like a 10k word limit) then you just need to use those limits

 

It's ultimately a love story, that abruptly ends on a bad note, with no closure.

 

The more you can make people care about the over all subject, and the greater the surprise is in how it turns for the worst, the greater the tragedy. Using a little kid is like a "jump scare" in horror. It's considered cheap. Because you're drawing on people's inherent care and love for kids.
Having most of the story being about someone's deep passion for something, let's say drawing, and how they just received a scholarship to go to the collage they wanted... Until the accident occurred. They would never draw again.

What kind of accident? Are they alive? Did they lose their vision? You don't know...

-The End.

 

The entire world rn is a tragedy because some random chinese dude decided that its a good idea to eat bat soup and causing worldwide economic recession

 

Abruptly kill someone who was well liked and had an impact in the story then write about the shock ther other characters went through

 

Remember to make the reader feel like they were there when it happened

 

Hello! Portuguese? You are brazillian?
Anyway, if you want to be into a sad mood, I recommend first listen to Construção - Chico Buarque
About the text itself, increase descriptions. When you do that, you create a picture to your readers, so they feel more connected with the story, and then have more impact when something important happens, does not seems so deslocated and more fluid

 

just like :
He ran out into the street to get his ball, which had rolled over there. Fernando was running not only because the ball was funny to play with, it was also the present his favorite aut have given to him when visiting last year. Seeing the son having fun, José had smiles into his eyes, that desappear into the next moment, in exchange for a terrified face. José ran after the little boy and called for him, but it was too late.

Change simple pronoums like "him" for more personal characterists, like "the little boy" or "the lovely child"

 

Thompson had a son, his son had a father who lost his mother, but he still had a brother who was called Trevor.


Now Trevor died, Thompson cried, but his son was happy.


For his son found out Trevor was his brother and not uncle........


Thompson finds out that his son knows so he smashes a study lamp over his head.


Much later on.....


The son finds out he is actually brother of Thompson and Trevor was actually his nephew.....


Now filled with guilt he takes a bullet to his head.



The End.









Ps -

 

Well, this certainly is a tragedy, but there’s next to no feeling in it because there’s no connection between the reader and the events. It depends on exactly your assignment. If they wanted to to tell about something bad, you’ve achieved that. If they want you to write a story that will make the reader cry, this is not it.
You want a child’s death? How about starting off happy? The family is about to take a vacation. The parents have asked for time off and are going to the park. This is where the husband proposed to his wife And they are telling their child about this happy memory. Have them play ball. Kid sneaks out to play at the ‘special’ place the next day. Accident happens. Kid dead. Parents grieving and regretful. Happy memory ruined.

 

How to write tragedy story 101:
Character with sickness
Character who struggles a lot
Character almost achieving happy ending But.....

Dun...dun...dun...

.....


.........


...............


Kill off your character at the end

 

The most important thing is that you make fleshed out characters. A tragedy lives and dies by them. While in a comedy you can use the setting to provide the comic, tragedy focuses on the characters who have to ABSOLUTELY act in character
Conflict should come from the character motivation (which can be spurred on by the setting, however the setting can not cause the conflict, otherwise you might end up with a bad work or a horror story)

 

Do you have to read it? Even the most mundane garbage can cause people to cry if the execution is well done. You might want to check out some storytelling and intonation videos.

 

Like the other commenters mentioned, you need to connect with their readers if you want to make them feel the full extent of your tragedy. Right now your story reads like a news article: stating facts, telling what happened, the end. We don’t know who any of these people are, and if you suddenly replaced their names with someone else’s it wouldn’t make a difference.

If you want readers to sympathize, you have to make them care. If you want to make them care, you have to bring your characters to life so they can be humanized somehow. You have a father, mother, and child, so start working with their personalities and types if you don’t know where to start.

Also, a key factor in tragedy is how much it hurts. Yes, the child died. Yes, the father tries to commit suicide and shoots the mother instead. But when stated like that, they’re just facts in your story. They lack any emotional clout. What do they really lose to make your heart ache for them?

Maybe the child had waited weeks and weeks for his beloved ball and was super excited to play with it the first time when everything ended just like that. Boom, disappointment and pity for your readers to feel.

Maybe Jose had been working hard to save up enough money out of the bills to buy his son a ball, and finally got a chance to relax one afternoon with his son when he didn’t pay enough attention to save him from the car. The death wracks him with guilt, but your readers can’t blame him after knowing he did so much for the child and only lost him through an accident.

Maybe Elisa had always been short tempered and snippy with her husband for his long shifts but softens after she sees him thinking of their family after all and buying their son the ball. Maybe she struggles with anger and blame for Jose after their son’s death, but ultimately works around it to accept and support her husband—only to see him slipping hopelessly out of her grasp and into the spiral of depression. She does her best to help him but ends up dying in his hands and likely worsening his state.

And what happens to Jose after all that? He’s your primary tragic character yet I didn’t see an ending. Milk it for all it’s worth.

Generally speaking, a tragedy is a story where the losses hurt, and hurt bad. Sometimes it comes all at once like a truck. Other times it piles up and up until the whole thing comes tumbling down in tears.

TL;DR Add more personality to your people for starters. It’s not the events that make a tragedy, but the characters suffering through it.

 

I think it would be more impactful if you wrote it from 1st pov, any of the parents would do as long as you portray their feelings and thoughts well, other things have already been said

 

Jaja love to smile.

Sunny, rainy, snowy, even stormy his smile weathering through it all.

Even better is today.

He smiled wider, fuller and brighter as he greeted by all.

Laughing heartily at everyone and everything while the devil may care.

He be the envy for his carefree.

He smile, smile and smile.

The widest of all.





As he put the lead through the eye.


The End.
....

... I need to sleep this away.
Night all.

Edit: My mind demand me change the last line, now it was about suicide/murder depend on the way you look at it...