Discussion Conversational Skills

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Chu2, Aug 30, 2020.

  1. Chu2

    Chu2 Sunshine~

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    Who here has a lot of friends and charisma? What are some tips for a good conversation, and not one that ends with an "lol" or silence?

    Also, just as importantly, how to have a meaningful conversation without anyone feeling attacked or antagonistic?
     
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  2. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    I am an excellent conversationalist...



    or so says my imaginary friend. :blobsad:
     
  3. KizunaAi

    KizunaAi Cookie Lover ~ I love fuwa fuwa dolls ~

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  4. Deleted member 155674

    Deleted member 155674 Guest

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    It depends on who you are with, if you are with someone who likes to talk then just listen or pretend to listen, if you are with someone who is there for fun, then you might want to talk about some funny topics, fashion, sports or the like, jokes are the safest option always tho (unless you don't want to be the joker kind of friend of course)
     
  5. littleoctopus

    littleoctopus White Lotus Slayer ✦ Villain Sympathizer

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    E.g How can answer to "how are you" and keep the conversation going from there? Because after I reply " I'm good" thats the end of the conversation right there . I'll watch this thread hehe
     
  6. forktine

    forktine Well-Known Member

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    Tbh I'm not the best conversationalist but after being asked how are you and just replying with "I'm good", maybe also talk about what you've been doing lately, pray that they'll answer, and ask them how they are too.
     
  7. ExcitableFoci

    ExcitableFoci Well-Known Member

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    It depends on your relationship with those friends and your interests. I have had conversations that kept me up till 3 AM with acquaintances and minutes-long conversations in months with close friends. There isn't much to it other than to simply ask a question or bring up an issue, the dude you are talking to will naturally engage you if he is interested.

    You simply state your stance at the very beginning and reiterate it anytime the person thinks you are attacking him. Or directly don't say anything that might indicate your inner thoughts.

    Random302: Coronavirus is a HOAX. Vaccines cause AUTISM. AND OBAMA IS A REPTILIAN.

    WhatToNotDo69: What a fucking retard LMAO. Go back to school you drooling autist and then read this link that completely debunks your shit.

    RandomRightThingToDo: Hey Random 302, I am interested in what you said. Would you mind explaining in detail your post?

    And that's it. You won't change his mind if the person is far too gone but you will accomplish your objective of not looking like as if you were attacking him and more likely to receive a reply as well.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2020
  8. Baldingere

    Baldingere Roseau pensant

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    :blob_plusone::sushi_thankyou:
     
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  9. TokioftheBel

    TokioftheBel Well-Known Member

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    Good tip I found with texting is continuing the topic while adding your little twist or add something to it. That way the other people has something to build off of and the conversation can last longer
     
  10. Diametric

    Diametric Waifu Connoisseur

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    I think it's hard to have a conversation if you're not interested in anything or never go out and see new stuff. Most of the conversations that I start have the following format or something similar (not like I'm forcibly following a format, it just tends to come out this way):
    1. Describe something I did recently or something that happened to me (or something I just noticed or realised)
    2. Pick out something notable from that experience
    3. Talk about why I thought that thing was notable and ask for their opinion
    4. Back and forth about our opinions by either:
      • agreeing and bringing up more points that support your opinions
      • disagreeing and asking why they think their opinion and bringing up counter points
      • vague mix between the above
    5. Follow any conversational topics they bring up by asking questions and giving your opinion/related topics
    6. Notice or remember some other notable thing and bring that up
    7. repeat 1/2 - 6 until bored

    But that's just my own conversational style and definitely doesn't cover every conversation I have.

    As for texting and dms and that type of thing, I'm probably the most clueless person to ask since I never know when or what I should message someone.

    Edit: Also, note that "being interested in something" or "doing something" doesn't necessarily mean going outside and seeing people or doing a traditional hobby. It could be about an interesting concept for a book you read or a cool genre of music you just discovered or how you stubbed your toe and had an existential crisis.
     
  11. Isabelle

    Isabelle Always in love with potatoes (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

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    That is great. I also use emojis and stickers to make it easy~~ you can also take some screenshots or photo of your rooms' mess and send it, helps to look more realistic, or something like this (obviously this is with someone you know better, real life or something hahaha) :blob_coffee:
     
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  12. Teadragon

    Teadragon Book Wyrm

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    Make it clear that you want to understand them, not attack them.

    Example: “That is quite different from my understanding of _____. What do you think could have led to us having such completely different understandings of the same situation?” With this you are showing that you are not against them, and are willing to explore what differences in ‘facts’ have led to your differences in opinion. Keep focused on ‘differences’ and not that someone is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

    Blunt example: “This conversation is starting to feel a little antagonistic. Let’s both step back for a moment a watch this cute baby animal video I found.” Here you are clearly changing the subject in a way most people will be willing to go along with.


    As for how to start and maintain conversations. The easiest way is to ask the other person a question each time you think the conversation is lagging (can be about the same topic or different one). Also really listen to what the other person says, so you can ask them intelligent/relevant questions. If it is someone you know, try to remember key details so you can talk about the later. Asking about a person’s family works a lot better when you remember the family members name for example. Or ask them how that problem they were having the last time you chatted turned out.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2020
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  13. LK

    LK Well-Known Member

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    My best (only) conversation skill is the ability to have a long conversation without using any names or related stuff since I can never remember names or how I know said person
     
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  14. Estarossa

    Estarossa 《Master of Dessert》°Resurrected Ghoul°

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    Then you reply with "How about you, anything new?"

    Then you just go from there, just pick a topic from whatever their reply is.
     
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  15. ImperialNero

    ImperialNero Well-Known Member

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    Idk man, in rl i talked way too much that my friend steers away from me most of the time
     
  16. Deleted member 125960

    Deleted member 125960 Guest

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    When I'm talking to someone, I ask what's your favorite animal, where did you go to school, what do you want to be, what country you'd like to live in... interrogation™, I'm just so curious.
     
  17. ImJustTesting

    ImJustTesting Well-Known Member

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    I saw somewhere that a good way to keep someone talking is repeating the last thing they said as a question, because they will try to give a justification of what they just told you even if you didn't really asked for one.
    Obviously you don't keep this for half an hour and question them 40 times.
    But doing this between commenting about what is being talked about and introducing new topics yourself can help to prolong the conversation, learning about the other person and such things.

    I can't testify if it works since it's been about three months I had a real conversation with someone.
     
  18. Chu2

    Chu2 Sunshine~

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    It's been three months since you had a real conversation with someone?
     
  19. ImJustTesting

    ImJustTesting Well-Known Member

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    Yeah. I do talk with my family and with NPCs when I have to go to the bank or shopping but these don't really count in the context.
    Since I've been fired in June I almost didn't leave home, in the country, because I don't really want or need to. And college is suspended since around April.
    So, it's been about three months since I had a real conversation with someone.
     
  20. Chu2

    Chu2 Sunshine~

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    I guess the technique works
     
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