Is it just me or does that sentence bother you too? Every time I read BL and I see this sentence it makes me kind of sad ;-; Like, okay I understand that perhaps some people only do have that person as their exception. But, having this sentiment become a common trope seems pretty bad. What's wrong with being an openly gay character? Does being originally gay in the first place cheapen the love and attraction? Or is just because it feels purer or more magical saying that you fell for that person despite all circumstances? I really don't know if it's just because there's still some negative sentiment about identifying as gay or maybe saying it that way just softens the blow or makes it more acceptable. I read mostly danmei (Chinese BL) and I'm guessing it's related to culture (not super accepting of same-sex relationships yet) and/or censorship. While my initial reaction to it is disappointment, it's also kind of interesting to look at from an academic perspective haha What are your thoughts on this? Any experiences from other BL or GL you've read or maybe even IRL?
Maybe it difers with the intention of the author that wrote the novel? I dunno. I find the phrase agreeable in a sense of ya don't need to label yer sexuality or gender to fall in love. Or it can be that authors just wants to evade lgbt terms or so specially in Chinese BL/GL novels as ya mention OR yeah, to just show some fluffyness of some sort too. Either way I don't find it different or strange unless the author indicated something clearly. Maybe I'm just oblivious in those kind of things since am probably focused on how the characters love each other.
Hm, I can understand why it would bother you, but try to think about it from a different point of view. Pansexuality and demisexuality are a thing that exists, so it's not like sentences like that are taking away representation from lgbtq+ people. (not that most bl/gl novels are great representation, but, you know). There are a lot of novels where the characters are clearly gay and attracted to more people than just the one ^^
Я слежу за одним пабликом в ВКонтакте (социальная сеть в России). Есть пара, которая живет вместе уже 12 лет. Изначально одна из них была только в отношениях с женщинами, а другая с самого начала интересовалась мужчинами. Они очень любят друг друга, поддерживают и ценят друг друга. Они пришли к этому через путь дерьма, и это стоит уважать. Поэтому сказать, что можно любить человека независимо от его пола-это правда. А возможно, некоторые просто смягчают "удар" - люди разные, поэтому и ситуации тоже разные.
I don't read BL, but I think this is there way of making it like shoujo manga. they are trying to make the character pure. because you can't hate someone who is pure of heart. The way I see it is they don't want to use strong language Gay is too affirmative that's why they came up with BL instead it sounds less aggressive.
I agree it’s disconcerting to see the amount of times that sentence is said in novels. If it were only a few times, it would be fine, but it’s in most (but not all) novels, which does feel bad. But! I will say that I’ve experienced that sentence and the reverse in real life, though. I once had a coworker, who was previously married to a woman, who said that he was still straight, despite now being with a man. He wouldn’t even acknowledge the idea he might be bi. He was straight, he just happened to love this one person who was a man. On the other hand, when my mom was young, there was a guy who was genuinely in love with her, who later came to realize he was gay, and loved no other woman. I don’t doubt the guy’s gayness or his love for my mother.
Maybe take a look from another perspective, these characters 99% of the time have never been in love and have never been in a relationship before so we as reader are reading about their first ever relationship so I can give most authors a pass for that troupe. what I detest about bl is one of the leads being called “wife” I hate that and I instantly drop a novel or manga/manhwa when I see the word “wife”, I also find it degrading when even the mc himself refers to himself as the “wife” like I get he’s on the receiving end but such a term has no business being in bl, they are both man and should be treated as such, why do authors hate labeling both leads as “husbands” instead label one of them as the “wife”.